styme46 , if you can avoid or even hold off a bit on changing rooms I'd recommend it. Your oldest is about to experience so many changes that keeping some things constant would be most ideal/comforting.
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't do it right away.
Good plan! I'm always a little surprised when students come back after a visit home early in the semester and they're bummed about how much stuff got changed when they were gone. Things that they probably wouldn't even notice if they were at home LOL. One student was bummed that her mom got new pillows for the living room couch!
L didn’t take her anxiety medicine last night. She has an orthodontist appointment which is essentially torture for her. So the combination has set her off like a bomb.
It’s days like this that I really question everything.
Lucy forgets her noise canceling headphones, I SWEAR, like half the times when anyone would know she’d need them. In Disney twice, out shopping once. And then she gets made at me! It’s so hard and completely draining to parent anxious ones. Solidarity
I’m so heartbroken over what is happening in Hawaii. I’m reading that almost all of Lahaina is gone - it’s one of our favorite places in the world and I feel sick seeing the photos. I grew up in Southern California and have seen first hand the devastation of wildfires, it is so terrible. Please consider donating to something like Maui Food Bank or Red Cross Hawaii
I’m so heartbroken over what is happening in Hawaii. I’m reading that almost all of Lahaina is gone - it’s one of our favorite places in the world and I feel sick seeing the photos. I grew up in Southern California and have seen first hand the devastation of wildfires, it is so terrible. Please consider donating to something like Maui Food Bank or Red Cross Hawaii
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Aug 9, 2023 13:45:03 GMT -5
The day before school starts she tells me that she CANNOT go to the school she starts at tomorrow. She told me she can't go bc she'll be bullied too much (threats of food thrown being at her, making fun of her for being big/her dad passing away/the way she talks, etc.). She wants to go to school just not the one she's assigned to and wants me to make that happen before tomorrow ?!? I am so ready to tear my hair out.
I wouldn't be surprised if she brought some of this on herself and no change of scenery will change that. She's incredibly argumenative, combative, mean, rude ... things that could be managed if she took.her.meds.for.ADHD/DMDD that she doesn't. I don't like saying that about my child either but I have to take that into account. I don't see her as being completely blameless.
We got prescribed a new antibiotic and ointment for her bug bite ... fingers crossed that she has ZERO effects.
L didn’t take her anxiety medicine last night. She has an orthodontist appointment which is essentially torture for her. So the combination has set her off like a bomb.
It’s days like this that I really question everything.
Lucy forgets her noise canceling headphones, I SWEAR, like half the times when anyone would know she’d need them. In Disney twice, out shopping once. And then she gets made at me! It’s so hard and completely draining to parent anxious ones. Solidarity
She pulled it together and it went better than expected. She ended up not needing to have the wire changed, so no pain today. She apologized for all the nonsense she said. She ate lunch and took her medicine from last night.
It's like it never happened. But we both need a nap.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Aug 9, 2023 13:57:20 GMT -5
pinkdutchtulips everyone is responsible for themselves on the journey to good mental health, growing as a person, growing up, etc.
While not as severe as what you’re dealing with, my oldest is my trouble case right now, and it’s all centered around her needing to take responsibility for herself, her emotions, her care, building her community, etc. It’s a lovely thought, but no, my darling, no one is going to manage you but you.
I wish a parent’s will was enough to fix the problems for their kids. I hope your daughter is willing to sit down in the driver’s seat of her life and do what she needs to do. Life does not need to be a series of conflicts we create until we die. It can be joyous. I hope she realizes that sooner rather than later.
pinkdutchtulips everyone is responsible for themselves on the journey to good mental health, growing as a person, growing up, etc.
While not as severe as what you’re dealing with, my oldest is my trouble case right now, and it’s all centered around her needing to take responsibility for herself, her emotions, her care, building her community, etc. It’s a lovely thought, but no, my darling, no one is going to manage you but you.
I wish a parent’s will was enough to fix the problems for their kids. I hope your daughter is willing to sit down in the driver’s seat of her life and do what she needs to do. Life does not need to be a series of conflicts we create until we die. It can be joyous. I hope she realizes that sooner rather than later.
At this point she’s not willing to do that. She refuses to take any responsibility or accountability for her actions.
pinkdutchtulips everyone is responsible for themselves on the journey to good mental health, growing as a person, growing up, etc.
While not as severe as what you’re dealing with, my oldest is my trouble case right now, and it’s all centered around her needing to take responsibility for herself, her emotions, her care, building her community, etc. It’s a lovely thought, but no, my darling, no one is going to manage you but you.
I wish a parent’s will was enough to fix the problems for their kids. I hope your daughter is willing to sit down in the driver’s seat of her life and do what she needs to do. Life does not need to be a series of conflicts we create until we die. It can be joyous. I hope she realizes that sooner rather than later.
At this point she’s not willing to do that. She refuses to take any responsibility or accountability for her actions.
I realize that. I’m supporting you in your assessment that she is not blameless and expressing hope that she will realize that and appreciate the tools you and her care providers have given her to help.
My friends finally settled on a girls weekend. End of August we’re going to do a Fri - Sun in Breckenridge. Found a house rental. isabel - YGPM looking for food recs lol
I mostly just can’t wait to get into cooler weather.
Do you ever wonder how similar various posters' online personas are to their real-life personalities?
Yes, though mostly for myself. I love to type too much but feel I clam up in person when meeting an online friend. Will I live up to expectations? It really is like a first date 😂 My old board and I did a few meetups, and then, broke into separate groups, before completely disappearing from each other.
Post by litskispeciality on Aug 9, 2023 14:43:37 GMT -5
@@@@@
I truly mean this only about myself, but some of these posts, and stories in real life make me feel so bad for my parents. I was a freaking tornado as a teenager, esp before my period. I was pretty good at school until maybe junior year when school just became annoying, but then I let it all out at home. Giant hugs to parents now a days because kids are probably so much harder. I also see why my mom was so annoying about trying to get us out of the house as teenagers too, even though I just sat quietly in the basement and watched TV until I babysat or had a job.
pinkdutchtulips, Fingers crossed the meds will help clear up the infection.
Has she always been this way, in terms of everything happening to her because of all outside forces and not anything she is also doing or did that start after she got her diagnosis?
You are a really good mom. You are getting her all the support she needs, the tools to help her manage her ADHD/DMDD, and a great advocate for her.
pinkdutchtulips, Fingers crossed the meds will help clear up the infection.
Has she always been this way, in terms of everything happening to her because of all outside forces and not anything she is also doing or did that start after she got her diagnosis?
You are a really good mom. You are getting her all the support she needs, the tools to help her manage her ADHD/DMDD, and a great advocate for her.
Everything happening to her through no fault of her own 🙄 pre-dates her ADHD/DMDD dx. These are not new things.
Thank you … it’s not easy being her mom but all I can do I try my best w the resources I’ve got.
I’m so heartbroken over what is happening in Hawaii. I’m reading that almost all of Lahaina is gone - it’s one of our favorite places in the world and I feel sick seeing the photos. I grew up in Southern California and have seen first hand the devastation of wildfires, it is so terrible. Please consider donating to something like Maui Food Bank or Red Cross Hawaii
I’m so heartbroken over what is happening in Hawaii. I’m reading that almost all of Lahaina is gone - it’s one of our favorite places in the world and I feel sick seeing the photos. I grew up in Southern California and have seen first hand the devastation of wildfires, it is so terrible. Please consider donating to something like Maui Food Bank or Red Cross Hawaii
pinkdutchtulips , Fingers crossed the meds will help clear up the infection.
Has she always been this way, in terms of everything happening to her because of all outside forces and not anything she is also doing or did that start after she got her diagnosis?
You are a really good mom. You are getting her all the support she needs, the tools to help her manage her ADHD/DMDD, and a great advocate for her.
Everything happening to her through no fault of her own 🙄 pre-dates her ADHD/DMDD dx. These are not new things.
Thank you … it’s not easy being her mom but all I can do I try my best w the resources I’ve got.
Did they mention anything regarding personality disorders? My youngest has a really hard time regulating her emotions and I know, as she has gotten older, this has made things challenging with friends. It's hard and I will not lie, challenges with her and our different approaches to things put a strain on my marriage. It is hard loving them so much and also, at times, feeling so much frustration.
My friend who has been there for me through every step of cancer everything had a medical scan for something not good this morning. I put a reminder on my calendar. But apparently forgot to click the alert notification. So, it’s 6pm and I just remembered to send her best wishes (no whammies). Dammit.
Post by mcppalmbeach on Aug 9, 2023 17:03:06 GMT -5
I want to crowdsource my annoyance here. It was a big day in our house…my oldest and middle kids had high and middle school orientations respectively and our ds3 had Meet the Teacher. It’s 6 and my husband hasn’t checked in at all with either my oldest or I to see how the day was, etc. His ability to…forget he has a family when he is working or doing his own thing is something that has annoyed me in the past and I’ve mentioned it to him. His work is busy right now, which I appreciate, but he is not a neurosurgeon in the operating room all day. He has a desk job and absolutely has 2 minutes to send a text asking how their day went. I will go for weeks not talking to him during work hours and that doesn’t bother me at all, but it’s nice for him to be the one doing the outreach so the kids think he’s engaged.
mcppalmbeach, my H can be like this too and it really bothers me. It has gotten better with couples therapy, but I think he has a hard time turning off that default. Honestly, I’m at a point where I’m ready to call him out for his selfishness, because that’s what it feels like to me.
mcppalmbeach, my H doesn't text at all during the workday unless it's an actual emergency, and not reaching out to our kids after a school orientation wouldn't be out of character for him at all. I've stopped being upset about it because he is who he is, and our kids and I know that he'll want to know about our days/ask questions when he's home and we're all together. Do you think your children are upset that he hasn't reached out, or do they expect that they won't hear from him until he's home?
I want to crowdsource my annoyance here. It was a big day in our house…my oldest and middle kids had high and middle school orientations respectively and our ds3 had Meet the Teacher. It’s 6 and my husband hasn’t checked in at all with either my oldest or I to see how the day was, etc. His ability to…forget he has a family when he is working or doing his own thing is something that has annoyed me in the past and I’ve mentioned it to him. His work is busy right now, which I appreciate, but he is not a neurosurgeon in the operating room all day. He has a desk job and absolutely has 2 minutes to send a text asking how their day went. I will go for weeks not talking to him during work hours and that doesn’t bother me at all, but it’s nice for him to be the one doing the outreach so the kids think he’s engaged.
H does this. He will go days without any communication at all. I don't understand it. Like, don't you want to know what your kid is doing?
I just got through my first-ever opthalmology appointment because my new optometrist (part of what used to be private office now part of a huge regional chain) diagnosed me with retinal bleeding. The MD was like what are they talking about, your eyes are the healthiest we have seen today and also this scan they sent shows nothing and there is no evidence there is a bleed now or that there was two weeks ago. So I have been worried over literally nothing.
I want to crowdsource my annoyance here. It was a big day in our house…my oldest and middle kids had high and middle school orientations respectively and our ds3 had Meet the Teacher. It’s 6 and my husband hasn’t checked in at all with either my oldest or I to see how the day was, etc. His ability to…forget he has a family when he is working or doing his own thing is something that has annoyed me in the past and I’ve mentioned it to him. His work is busy right now, which I appreciate, but he is not a neurosurgeon in the operating room all day. He has a desk job and absolutely has 2 minutes to send a text asking how their day went. I will go for weeks not talking to him during work hours and that doesn’t bother me at all, but it’s nice for him to be the one doing the outreach so the kids think he’s engaged.
Is midday communication a regular thing in your family? Or was it communicated as an expectation for him to do today in particular? If neither of those are true...I don't think it's fair to expect him to randomly check in. I also wouldn't accuse him of forgetting he has a family. I would expect him to ask the kids how their day went when everyone gets home from work/school if that's how things normally go in your household. It sounds like maybe there are other things at play, that we don't see, that could be causing your annoyance.