The Blindside -- Oher States He Wasn't Adopted, Was Swindled

[pixy0stix]

My entire disgust centers on the fact that they told him they were adopting him. He believed he was adopted. The movie, etc. leads people to believe they adopted him, etc. Adoption is about accepting someone into your family fully. They are your flesh. They are your blood. They own a piece of your soul. It's sacred. The Touhy's lied and created a business transaction.

[orval]

This article says he knew it was a conservatorship per his own memoir.

people.com/michael-oher-calls-tuohys-his-conservators-2011-memoir-7644755

[pixy0stix]

Aug 18, 2023 9:30:37 GMT -5 orval said:

This article says he knew it was a conservatorship per his own memoir.

people.com/michael-oher-calls-tuohys-his-conservators-2011-memoir-7644755

Correct, he thought the conservatorship was adoption.

[seeyalater52]

Aug 18, 2023 9:32:52 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Aug 18, 2023 9:30:37 GMT -5 orval said:

This article says he knew it was a conservatorship per his own memoir.

people.com/michael-oher-calls-tuohys-his-conservators-2011-memoir-7644755

Correct, he thought the conservatorship was adoption.

This is what I keep coming back to. A conservatorship is not an adoption. Adults can be adopted. They absolutely were not truthful and did not fully explain the legal implications to him.

It doesn’t really matter why or if there was a reason or FAFSA what NCAA needed and so forth. They could have had the “best” reasons in the world but it is absolutely irrelevant. If they felt something other than an adoption was better for their circumstances they should have said that and explained why. If this was something that needed to happen for college reasons they should have ended it once he graduated. He’s a whole ass adult of sound mind many many years out from all the speculatory reasons for why this happened and the people making legal decisions here had a lot of access to legal advice before and during this conservatorship. It’s not like they forgot it happened even though it’s clear Oher didn’t know what the lasting impacts were legally and practically. They and their lawyers and the representation they engaged for him made a calculated decision to deceive him and to let him and the world believe - because they TOLD them it was true - that he was their adopted child.

[pixy0stix]

All of Leigh Anne Touhy's schtick is about adoption - www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/-blind-side-tuohy-family-promoted-adoption-michael-oher-says-was-lie-rcna99896

So fuck the "he knew it was a conservatorship" narrative. He knew what he had been told, that the conservatorship was adoption and that he was legally a part of their family. Every single thing that family did was based on the lie that they had adopted Oher.

[kath16]

i have seen the movie, and i always wondered if he had gotten any say in it. it is so heavy on how great the Touhy's were and how dumb he was. i don't believe the book painted him in that way, so it was a weird "hollywood" choice that felt insulting.

i am sure this was talked about at some point. but i am just reminded that his life story was so watered down and portrayed him in such an unflattering way.

[sporklemotion]

Aug 18, 2023 10:24:03 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Aug 18, 2023 9:32:52 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Correct, he thought the conservatorship was adoption.

This is what I keep coming back to. A conservatorship is not an adoption. Adults can be adopted. They absolutely were not truthful and did not fully explain the legal implications to him.

It doesn’t really matter why or if there was a reason or FAFSA what NCAA needed and so forth. They could have had the “best” reasons in the world but it is absolutely irrelevant. If they felt something other than an adoption was better for their circumstances they should have said that and explained why. If this was something that needed to happen for college reasons they should have ended it once he graduated. He’s a whole ass adult of sound mind many many years out from all the speculatory reasons for why this happened and the people making legal decisions here had a lot of access to legal advice before and during this conservatorship. It’s not like they forgot it happened even though it’s clear Oher didn’t know what the lasting impacts were legally and practically. They and their lawyers and the representation they engaged for him made a calculated decision to deceive him and to let him and the world believe - because they TOLD them it was true - that he was their adopted child.

I’m here. At best they didn’t think enough of him/his intelligence to give him a full and clear explanation. I don’t know how much of this is deliberately deceptive or exploitative, but Iits clear to me that it was paternalistic.

I’m probably too trusting, but if, at 18, someone who I thought knew the system and had my best interests in mind told me that adoption and conservatorship were the same, I would not necessarily have doubted it. So I can’t blame him for feeling deceived.

[tacokick]

Aug 18, 2023 8:13:07 GMT -5 momof2 said:

Aug 18, 2023 8:03:43 GMT -5 tacokick said:

They could have decided not to intervene at certain times/when he was older and that’s why he seems surprised it was still in effect. It’s also possible he conducted business that legally he was not supposed to on his own. Or they did negotiate these contracts for or with him, that doesn’t seem clear. Conservators can’t just take all of the money their ward makes because it is supposed to be for the care of someone who cannot care for themselves. So it’s no plus in their side that they didn’t steal his paycheck.

It’s bizarre to think that it is okay to have control over virtually all aspects a man’s life until his death because you want him to go to a specific college to play sports. I don’t know how they arrived at that decision at all. Even a limited conservatorship strips him of rights all adults should have and is supposed to be for individual who cannot make decisions for themselves due to disability. It does not appear that he has a disability that limits his ability to make choices about his life and care.

If they were truly concerned about his life they could have gotten a POA which is easier to dissolve. Or at the very least gone to court and asked to dissolve the conservatorship when he was like 21 or something.

I don’t disagree, but I bet the NCAA would never have found POA acceptable. This whole thing is a mess. And I feel terrible for a young kid that had all these adults making decisions for him without fully explaining things (that would likely be hard for any 18 year old to fully appreciate).

I guess I’m puzzled by the idea that the NCAA would prefer a conservatorship that says the person they are recruiting is disabled and unable to care for themselves over dealing with an 18 year old directly.

Surely he’s not the only person without a guardian or parent to go to college and play football. He was a legal adult. These people could have still be involved and helped him without stripping him of his rights for the rest of his life. There is no way they didn’t know what conservatorship meant.

[hermione]

I have a distinct memory of some point in the movie the mom saying to a friend that it didn’t make sense to adopt because Oher was 18. But then they always referred to him as their adopted son in real life. I remember thinking how odd that the movie would get that wrong. Turns out it didn’t.

[basilosaurus]

I saw the movie in a plane, so I really didn't think too hard about it. But as brilliant as I think I am, if I were 18 and a trusted adult said adoption isn't allowed but here's this other option, I'd believe it. Especially before the days of pocket Google machines.

[waverly]

I didn’t know what a conservatorship/ guardianship was until my sister went to court for my dad’s conservatorship. The average person don’t know what they are. I sat in a lot of cases when I zoomed into court so now I have an understanding but before that I didn’t. So I am sure he didn’t know what it was. We were forced to get conservatorship because my dad can no longer manage his finances. An 18 year old in good health can manage their finances and there is no need for a conservatorship. I’m surprised one was issued by a judge, and I have some suspicions there. We had to get a letter from a doctor stating that he can’t make decisions anymore due to his diagnosis.

[pixy0stix]

www.npr.org/2023/09/29/1202776970/michael-oher-tuohys-conservatorship

The conservatorship has been resolved. The judge stated she wasn't sure why it was granted in the first place.

It's clear the Tuohys manipulated the system with their influence.

[jlt19]

You know, continuing to claim that you only made a total of less than $100k on a book—>movie deal only makes you look like a really bad businessman.