This is super weird, right?

[nicolewi]

Minor vent. We are celebrating my niece’s sixth birthday on Sunday. Just a small family get-together. My brother just sent a note that we don’t really need dessert since everyone’s had a lot of cake and treats lately. He asked if I could just bring a piece of my mother-in-law‘s leftover birthday cake to put a candle in so we could sing to my niece. so I guess we would all watch her eat her one piece of dried up leftover cake?? This is blowing my mind.

I feel like a six-year-old should have a pretty, sparkly, sprinkle-y cake that looks special! And everyone at the party should get some cake! I think I’m just going to bring cupcakes on my own.

[dcn]

Yeah I’d bring cupcakes at least for her!

It’s a hard time of year for kids to have birthdays, I try really hard to make sure ds2 doesn’t feel jipped just bc he was born in December.

[ssmjlm]

Your brother is an asshole. Give the kid a damn birthday cake.

[VillainV]

I’d be miffed if someone else decided for me that I’ve had too many sweets and shouldn’t eat cake.

[thebreakfastclub]

It's his kid, so I'd stay in my lane as its his decision and really, she won't even notice.

[VillainV]

Nov 25, 2023 13:51:32 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

It's his kid, so I'd stay in my lane as its his decision and really, she won't even notice.

But to decide not to serve any cake to the guests? That’s weird. I’d maybe bring the leftover cake and some cupcakes to share.

[ohgillian]

Nov 25, 2023 13:51:32 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

It's his kid, so I'd stay in my lane as its his decision and really, she won't even notice.

Nah; at 6 most kids would notice this. If she were 2, absolutely. 

[ssmjlm]

Nov 25, 2023 13:51:32 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

It's his kid, so I'd stay in my lane as its his decision and really, she won't even notice.

But he asked her to bring a piece of stale cake for the candle! It would be different if they showed up, asked about cake, and he’s like “nah dude, too many Thanksgiving sweets.”

Then she can just judge him after they leave.

[thebreakfastclub]

Nov 25, 2023 14:02:44 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Nov 25, 2023 13:51:32 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

It's his kid, so I'd stay in my lane as its his decision and really, she won't even notice.

But to decide not to serve any cake to the guests? That’s weird. I’d maybe bring the leftover cake and some cupcakes to share.

My opinion is he gets to decide how his kid's party goes.

[thebreakfastclub]

Nov 25, 2023 14:13:19 GMT -5 ohgillian said:

Nov 25, 2023 13:51:32 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

It's his kid, so I'd stay in my lane as its his decision and really, she won't even notice.

Nah; at 6 most kids would notice this. If she were 2, absolutely. 

Either way, not her kid.

[nicolewi]

Yeah, but my kids and the 3 year old brother would have to watch the bday kid eating the one piece of cake. They want cake! Either I’m going to bring something, or we might end up going out to eat now and having ice cream.

[thebreakfastclub]

Nov 25, 2023 14:56:09 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

Yeah, but my kids and the 3 year old brother would have to watch the bday kid eating the one piece of cake. They want cake! Either I’m going to bring something, or we might end up going out to eat now and having ice cream.

Great life lesson for the older kids, sometimes at other people's houses, things are done differently and we are polite about it.

[konapoppy]

I would get a slice of cake from the grocery store (which shouldn’t really be your problem) because I think the idea of using your MIL cake is the weirdest part of this whole thing.

[al dente]

Nov 25, 2023 15:07:05 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

I would get a slice of cake from the grocery store (which shouldn’t really be your problem) because I think the idea of using your MIL cake is the weirdest part of this whole thing.

ya this is the part tripping me up. I can't imagine leaving one birthday celebration being all "oh let me grab a piece of cake on my way out for a second birthday party I'm going to later this week!"

[UMaineTeach]

I feel like this is one of those things that sounds great in your parent brain that you later wonder what you were thinking.

Your brother wants you to bring a stale piece of your partner’s mother’s birthday cake for his daughter, to avoid having more leftover cake.

I’d be working on trying to convince him that was a bad idea. I would suggest that I buy some fresh cupcakes at the store, like the tiny one bite ones kids bring to school parties just for the kids.

I might lie and say MIL took her cake home.

[ECB]

Can you say you threw the cake out and offer to bring some cupcakes for the kids?

I do feel him over not wanting a tons of sweets. We host thanksgiving and Christmas and I struggle to keep the desserts somewhat limited just so that we don’t have a ton of sweets laying around.

But I think your brothers approach is weird. Stale cake for his DD? No.

[waverly]

Yeah it’s weird. I will say I bought DS a bigger cake and used it both for a family party and a friend party 1 day apart. I served cake slices the second day and didn’t have candles.

But it wasn’t stale and there was enough cake for everyone. I think I would bring the slice for the birthday girl and little cupcakes that he can choose to serve. I bet he chooses to serve it when everyone is sitting there with nothing.

[momin2013]

Yes, this is weird. How does he even know your MIL has leftover cake? I’d just say there’s none left - honestly, I don’t even think that’s your cake to give away.

[felicity]

It's weird, and it is definitely okay to tell your brother no to bringing an old piece of cake! I also think it's okay to say you and your family, and especially your kids, would eat cake if he changes his mind about serving it. I wouldn't show up with a package of cupcakes that you bought.

[pinkplasticdoll]

I would bring a cupcake or a very small cake from a grocery store and just deal with the fallout from my sibling. I would also tell them what I was doing and be like wtf.

[tacokick]

I think I’d say you don’t have any leftovers from someone else’s birthday and what would he like you to do instead. Then offer to bring something small.

[nicolewi]

I don’t know why he’s being so weird about this, but we might end up going out or something anyway. There are other complications. This is actually at my parents’ house, and they are doing most of the dinner. He was just gonna bring a dessert. I had mentioned on Thursday that we had a lot of leftover cake if he needed some extra, but I was going to tell him this morning that I thought it was a little too worse for wear by now and it just doesn’t look great for a little kid’s birthday. And I never intended for him to ask me to bring one weird slice for the birthday girl and nothing for anyone else.

Obviously, this is not a huge deal. I just thought it was so strange. If I decide to pick up cupcakes or something, I would let him know first in case he has any kind of issue with it. I’m mostly just feeling judgey like he should be picking up some kind of cute cake for his daughter’s birthday!

And also, they mainly celebrate her birthday every year with his in-laws over Thanksgiving. And I’m sure they make a big deal. So I don’t want our little celebration to seem real lame in comparison!!

[wanderingback]

I wouldn’t bring the mother in law’s leftover cake cause that’s her cake and it’s left over, but I’d offer to bring a cupcake or something for the niece. Since it’s their party I also wouldn’t bring anything else for other guests cause if they’re choosing not to have dessert that’s their choice.

[thebreakfastclub]

Lol the missing detail, OP offers leftover cake and he takes her up on it.

[momin2013]

Seeing the additional detail, honestly, I think it’s weird that you offered up the leftover cake in the first place. I agree with the “6 year old should get a fun sparkly cake” part, but if you felt that way, why did you offer up the MIL’s leftovers?

[mccallister84]

Yea you offering up the cake first makes this a totally different story.

[ECB]

Oy. I think it’s weird to offer up leftover cake to take, but even with that - it doesn’t change much IMO. To take ONE piece for the birthday girl? No. That’s still weirder.

[quesyrah]

If someone offered to bring leftover cake I would totally say sure and we’ll just stick a candle in that.

But my kids have never had big parties or fancy cakes so they probably m wouldn’t think it was odd either, especially not at 6.

[tacokick]

Offering the cake changes things a little but I’d still would have assumed they were providing the birthday girl and guests with fresh cake and the MIL leftovers would be if anyone wanted to take some home so it wasn’t going to waste, not the main dessert.

[wanderingback]

Nov 25, 2023 17:32:50 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

Lol the missing detail, OP offers leftover cake and he takes her up on it.

Yeah. What in the world?! Totally different story.