Having others drive your kids

[konapoppy]

At what age did you allow others besides a primary caregiver or grandparent to drive your kid?

[lindyanne]

Probably at whatever point they were in a booster because it would be easier for them to be in another car. I have several neighborhood friends and we would take each others kids to parties or the trampoline place or lunch frequently.

[mccallister84]

I think the first time was this year when I was sick and so DD1 went to a birthday party with a neighbor. She was 6 and we sent a booster down with her.

I have driven my BFFs kids multiple times. She had a preemie last year and H drove her daughter to and from soccer practice and I drove her son home from preschool a lot but they fit in to the other car seat already installed in the car.

H also drove a friends daughter to gymnastics this year. It’s a pretty tight fit for us to have two in boosters and one in a car seat though.

I am not sure when I’ll be ready (if ever?) to let random young adults drive them around. A few of the camps at like dance studios and gymnastics places around here will do field trips in the afternoon where they are driven by counselors.

[noodleoo]

We started using carpools for playdates, bday parties or camp starting at age 7-8 for DD1. She's in a booster, so we have a bubble bum booster seat that we can send her with. She's in 3rd grade now (age 8) but the first time was last year in grade 2 (age 7). I know the parents really well, trust them and have their cell phone numbers so I'm ok with it.

ETA:  I probably would have allowed it earlier but 1) DD1 was super shy/sensitive, so she would not have gone easily with other people before Kindergarten, 2) it was logistically difficult with car seats and 3) we didn't really know anyone well enough that it was ever offered.  DD2 will probably carpool once she's in a booster, although she's shorter than DD1 so it might be a while anyway.

ETA2:  oh yeah, DD1 did field trips with daycare at age 4/5.  They used school buses.  I completely forgot about that.

[joy]

Oh... um… daycare-age.

[abs]

Like 4 or 5 for things like carpools or going to/from play dates. 7ish for anything beyond the neighborhood.

[mrsGreeko]

Whenever it came up that someone needed or wanted to drive them somewhere. I either gave them a car seat or booster (sometimes installing it for them) depending on how old the kids were. My DH was in the military and gone for weeks or months at a time regularly and I have 3 kids. Making rules about an age where other people could drive them was not a luxury I had.

[redpenmama]

I don't have a set age on this, but it started in elementary school so that we could carpool to activities. My 7th grader has a carpool to her practices these days; my younger two don't really ride with others often, unless they're going somewhere with a friend.

We had a 16-year-old babysitter this summer and she texted and asked if she could take the kids out for ice cream. Hard no...haha.

[shauni27]

infancy. It was not common, but S was less than 1 when we would need to put the car seat base in another car for certain situations. If we both had to work late and could not pick up at daycare on time we would have a friend grab him and bring him home. Things like that.

[glitzy07]

This isn't something I ever really thought about. It's not something that happened often when the kids were babies or anything, but our daycare provider did drive them a few times for "field trips". And then in preschool they went on busses. And then once they got a little older and into sports (5+) we sometimes had to depend on others to carpool to practices and things.

[jinkies]

When they reached booster age bc I was terrible at installing carseats.

We hired a college-age nanny the summer the kids were 5/9 and she drove them around.

I have just started allowing DS (15) be driven by a couple trusted friends, but in both cases the friends are 18 so have a couple years of driving experience and are generally super responsible kids. He is a sophomore and his friends will all be getting their licenses this year. I honestly can't wrap my head around allowing him to drive with same-age friends until they have had a license for at least a year AND unless I know them and their personality. I know that isn't what you asked, but it's a big issue for us right now.

[Susie]

My oldest is 8 and still in a HBB, and she generally doesn't ride in other cars except for grandparents.  

We just bought a backless booster for travel for her, and when that's more her norm, I expect we'll do carpooling much more often.

[momin2013]

By another parent in their car, about 8.

On a school bus for a field trip, preschool age so about 3.5.

[nicolewi]

I was working when my first three were little, so Grandma drove them quite a bit as she would babysit some of the time. And then sometimes nannies. After that, I guess early elementary we carpool for some activities and birthday parties. And, of course, the school bus!

I guess I didn’t think a whole lot about it. Mostly it just seemed like a necessity, so there wasn’t much of a decision to be made.

My seventh grade son has one friend who only recently started to be able to ride with others, but that’s the only time I’ve really heard this come up much in real life.

Driving with other kids hasn’t come up for us yet. I do think that will be more difficult to navigate. My daughter turns 15 this month. So we’re not quite there yet, but getting close.

[mrsGreeko]

Oh yeah I now have a 17.5 year old who drives and my middle kid who will get her permit this summer. The teenage years opens up a whole new world. My oldest made sure to find friends with licenses before she had her license. Older siblings drove. It happened so suddenly. You think you have tight control, but the teen years quickly show you that you don’t! Now she drives herself and sometimes her siblings and sometimes her siblings’ friends and of course she drives her own friends and rides with her friends. She starts college and moves into the dorms in 1.5 weeks and at that point I have literally no control whatsoever. Hahaha.

[pittpurple]

I live overseas and don't have anyone here besides my husband so I think my daughter was about 6 weeks old when a friend gave us a lift somewhere. It was trickier with carseats but there were plenty of times I carpooled with a friend / needed a hand / etc. Once they're in boosters it was even more frequent for playdates and such and now I regularly have other kids in our car or my kids are in someone else's car. Really not something I ever worried about.

(The only people I didn't like driving my kids are my inlaws. The rare times we are in the states I try to make sure my husband or I are driving as I know my inlaws will think nothing of having a drink - or more - and driving the kids and I have a lot of feelings about that.)

[dreamcrisp1]

Still haven’t. Others are so lax on car safety here and I’m the complete opposite.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I have a bff who lives nearby who has kids similar ages to mine, so from the time we moved here, things would come up where she would pick my dd up from preschool or I would pick one of her kids up for her, etc. and we'd meet up later. I knew she'd have the correct car seat available and trusted her (moreso than grandparents lol) to use them correctly.

I would say it was probably booster seat age that it became much easier and spontaneous, like one time I was picking dd up after school from an after school activity, and she and another kid had wanted to get together, and the other mom was like, why don't I just take them back to my house? and I grabbed dd's booster out of our car and sent it with her without really knowing the other mom really well or anything. I think dd was in 2nd grade at the time? But she is tiny and just stopped using a booster seat this year at 12, so it's been a while and it's hard to remember.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Jan 4, 2024 10:20:04 GMT -5 mrsGreeko said:

Oh yeah I now have a 17.5 year old who drives and my middle kid who will get her permit this summer. The teenage years opens up a whole new world. My oldest made sure to find friends with licenses before she had her license. Older siblings drove. It happened so suddenly. You think you have tight control, but the teen years quickly show you that you don’t! Now she drives herself and sometimes her siblings and sometimes her siblings’ friends and of course she drives her own friends and rides with her friends. She starts college and moves into the dorms in 1.5 weeks and at that point I have literally no control whatsoever. Hahaha.

Yeah I wasn't sure how I'd be about them with teenage drivers, but ds (14 and a freshman) did marching band this year, and there were section dinners every Friday before the game where I'd drop him off at the dinner, but we didn't know how long the dinner would last and then he'd need a ride from the dinner to school (either for the game or for the bus to the away game).  The first few, I stayed and sat in my car while waiting for him and drove him and a bunch of kids from the dinner to the high school.  But then one week I had plans after dropping him off and asked if he could get a ride with someone.  He said yes and I figured it would be with the parent of another freshman doing what I had done, but it turned out to be with an upperclassman in his section who had a car.  And then I was like, well, I guess that answers that question, and every week after that he just 'got a ride' with whoever had room in their car.  

[beerlover]

This has only come up a handful of times but now that he's booster age I'd be fine with sending a Bubblebum with whoever he's going with. Before with carseat logistics (like jinkies, I would be terrible at installing a seat lol) I'd just drive him. So glad to have more flexibility now.

[meowmaps]

My oldest has been driven by my parents and in-laws since she was 1+. My youngest has only ever been in the car with us.

DD1 is 5 and we've allowed her to be driven by my closest local friend since she was on the older end of 4. She has an extra booster seat that she throws in the back when our kids are playing together.

[waverly]

Once the kids were out of their car seats and into booster seats that you can easily swap then that’s when neighbors started driving them.

[melmel4854]

I watched my cousins son over night when he was 3 years old. They told me where the keys to their car was in case I needed/wanted to take him anywhere. I was surprised as my cousin is pretty strict about things like that. Obviously if there was an emergency that is a different story.

I ended up not taking him anywhere because we had so much fun at home.

[ECB]

Jan 4, 2024 8:32:52 GMT -5 lindyanne said:

Probably at whatever point they were in a booster because it would be easier for them to be in another car. I have several neighborhood friends and we would take each others kids to parties or the trampoline place or lunch frequently.

This.  I don't remember ever switching out carseats so that a friend could take DS somewhere, so we would have waited until it was a booster. 

[chedifuen]

umm, always. This isn't something I ever considered or thought of as a milestone of any sort. I know my sister drove my oldest places when he was younger than 3 months. As long as they're in the appropriate car seat/booster/seatbelt for their age, I'm not sure why it would matter.

[186momx]

Always...as long as she was in a car seat when she was little it didn't really matter to me. I needed a village to help so I couldn't be panicky about it. Now DD has some friends who are getting ready to turn 16. Once they pass all the state rules for passengers DD will be allowed to get rides from them. We've known these girls and families for years and they are all good kids. Mostly this will help with practice carpools.

[konapoppy]

Jan 4, 2024 15:41:55 GMT -5 chedifuen said:

umm, always. This isn't something I ever considered or thought of as a milestone of any sort. I know my sister drove my oldest places when he was younger than 3 months. As long as they're in the appropriate car seat/booster/seatbelt for their age, I'm not sure why it would matter.

There is more behind the question (obviously?) so it is helpful to me.

Thanks, all!

[redheadk]

Preschool age? It wouldn't have come up before that. She was definitely still in a carseat, I remember that much since that always required some coordination. She only ever went with close mom friends of mine, we never had a nanny or sitter drive her, it just never came up.

[wanderingback]

This hasn’t come up #cityliving but assuming I trust someone to watch my kid I’d be ok with them driving my kid. For example, if the need came up for any of my friends or family members needed to drive her I’d be fine with it. I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head that I wouldn’t allow her to drive with.

[niq]

Once they were in boosters, we'd sometimes have them catch rides with other daycare parents.

V's 2nd grade summer tutor drove him to camp. She would take the booster for the week and drop it off on Friday.