Teen anxiety is not something I’d wish on anyone. We are definitely seeing improvement but it will be a lifelong thing with ups and downs I’m sure. I have told DD I have no idea what I’m doing since we were told to just ignore our feelings in the 90s but that I’m committed to doing better for her. I think that alone helps…being taken seriously. It all sucks though and I hate it.
Post by lavenderblue on Apr 4, 2024 10:38:47 GMT -5
I accidentally made a substantial overpayment when paying off my credit card. How does that work? Does the credit just stay on there and basically get eaten up as I use the card?
Post by lilypad1126 on Apr 4, 2024 10:49:15 GMT -5
My boss is back from vacation and in my first meeting with him today he asked me if I'd heard anything about my promotion. No, sir, I haven't, what's going on with it? He literally had no idea, he thought for sure someone would have told me. So he followed up and now we've been told it's all with the CEO for approval we should know by Monday. So, more anxious waiting, lol.
Regardless of when I hear, all changes go on the current payroll, so that's good at least.
I accidentally made a substantial overpayment when paying off my credit card. How does that work? Does the credit just stay on there and basically get eaten up as I use the card?
I accidentally made a substantial overpayment when paying off my credit card. How does that work? Does the credit just stay on there and basically get eaten up as I use the card?
Yes. Unless it goes unused for a period of time, then they issue a check back to you - but it's months.
It's snowing, DD has a snow day after being sick since Monday. I'm going to try to work from home and if it lets up go in later. I really need spring to come back.
I fixed my leaking tub faucet, it only took about 6 different youtube videos, and $80 at the hardware store. I can't find my wrench, so I had to buy wrenches, a handle remover, and assorted washers. There is a tiny screw holding the washer in place and it wasn't staying, once I figured that out the leak finally stopped! I feel very accomplished that I didn't have to spend $300 on a plumber.
Salute to all of us trying our best to be good parents.
ETA: My mom, recently, was like, huh, we could've done more to help you when you were struggling so much in middle school and early high school, sorry about that. I was like, um, yes that would have been great and a lot better than… [deleted in case you don’t want it out there]
I did not say those things. Instead I said that yes, it would have been better not to have struggled alone, know better/do better, etc.
A huge round of applause to all you parents out there. For this exact reason. I read these posts and think “wow, I wish my parents had recognized my anxiety and ADHD, and said she’s just expressing it poorly, instead of you are such a little bitch.” Or things like that. Bravo to you! For real!
I accidentally made a substantial overpayment when paying off my credit card. How does that work? Does the credit just stay on there and basically get eaten up as I use the card?
When I accidentally made two substantial payments to my Discover card I just chatted customer service and they mailed me a check within a couple of days.
cville and gummybear, I feel the conflicting feelings too when I can totally empathize with DD when she's going through anxiety because she is JUST LIKE ME and I can understand exactly what she's dealing with. It sucks that she got it from me, it's weird seeing it from this side, it sucks knowing that no one noticed/bothered to help me when I was dealing with the same stuff at her age, but it is helpful in at least understanding why she's acting the way she is and having at least a few tools I can try to pass on even if I'm not her favorite person to learn them from. And I will also say, it's completely different for me with ds. His ADHD isn't 'from' anyone in our family that we know of, and he is just SO different from both dh and I, and knowing how to help him and how to deal with him has been like learning a foreign language for me. And it's sad to admit, but I find dealing with DD and her struggles easier for that reason alone.
We made the decision to pull Wesley out of school and homeschool him. He’s going to start the second half of 5th grade over again bc I I don’t think he’s really learned anything since January.
We got his most recent report card two days ago. There were notes of “missing work” and “below grade level” which was news to me as far as I knew in the grade book he had caught up all the missing work (that was entered 7 days before quarter end, some assignments over 2 months old)
Then there was a standardized test sent home where he got a zero. A literal zero. No note from the teacher or anything. Just the result. I’ve met with them in the past and they just blame him for not paying attention or trying. He’s got adhd and we cannot get him medicated bc of the shortage, so difficultly paying attention is all our problems! I have him with a therapist and a tutor spending $1000/mo trying to help him but unfortunately his school isn’t in a place to help those who need extra assistance.
I can’t just let him drown, barely get by and then hope for success in middle school. It’s hard having a kid that learns differently, im sad for him too bc he feels like he can’t do anything right at school.
Im sad but excited to build up his confidence and show him that he’s incredibly smart and capable.
Pulling our kids to homeschool was one of the best decisions we’ve made for our family. They are thriving and constantly amaze me with how well they’re doing with their studies.
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Apr 4, 2024 11:53:30 GMT -5
Add me to the list of people trying to counteract the genes we gave our kids, lol. Between their dad and me, they are destined to spin a wheel of misfortune when it comes to mental health.
Leeham Rimes It sounds like this might be the best option. I sympathize. I also have a 5th grader with ADHD and who frequently has missed assignments. We are currently working on a science project that the rest of the class turned in 2 weeks ago. I can’t imagine what I would do without school support.
I’m so frustrated with ds2 and I expressed my frustration this morning and made him cry. He is such a picky eater and he used to eat sunbutter sandwiches every day, but no longer wants that in his lunch. He asked me what I was packing today and I said bagels and cream cheese and he sighed and said he didn’t want bagels and cream cheese. The only other thing he will eat in his lunch at this point is pizza and we don’t have pizza right now, and then he ate part of his bagel and cream cheese lunch this morning because he didn’t want the pancakes I made. I don’t know what else to give you kid! I ask and I ask and he can never come up with anything he would want to eat besides pizza, fruit, and potato chips.
DS2 is also having anxiety issues. He was having an issue with a kid bullying him the other month - school response was swift and effective and things seemed ok. But he had a mini breakdown with the guidance counselor the other day over it (and we confirmed through various sources it’s not continuing, so he’s still just thinking about it a lot poor kiddo). Plus he apparently told his guidance counselor he needs to go to a “special school” because he’s failing. He’s not failing by any stretch. He has pretty good grades, plus he’s only in 6th and DH and I are pretty laid back about grades in general so unclear where this stress is coming from.
Then I realized I lost my credit card and had to deal with that. DH has been sick, there is teen angst with DS1, I had a meeting until 9 pm last night, and the weather is horrifyingly bad. BUT I just had my lashes done and at the end (after I had woken myself up snoring lol) the tech told me I had beautiful skin, and it was one of those random compliments that made my day
I taught my cat to play fetch which is adorable, but now he wants to play all.the.time. My last three cats were super lazy but this one is built different.
The school secretary at my kid's school is leaving at the end of the school year and I am weirdly relieved. EVERY single email she sends has errors or attachments missing so she sends another one to correct the first one, sometimes she needs to send a 3rd correction email. She just sent one this morning reminding parents there is no school tomorrow, November 5th. It's just 1 line. Proofreading isn't her strong suit.
Post by mysteriouswife on Apr 4, 2024 12:19:19 GMT -5
Whoever mentioned strep above made me question DS odd behaviors. He isn’t great at explaining what is ailing him. I know it’s going around his class. It makes sense he has fevers and chills.
H and I were going to a charity event tonight. With DS being sick I may not go. DD swears they will be fine if he stays with her. I just hate leaving a sick kid with their sibling to take care of. I’ll see how they are doing around 4.
The school secretary at my kid's school is leaving at the end of the school year and I am weirdly relieved. EVERY single email she sends has errors or attachments missing so she sends another one to correct the first one, sometimes she needs to send a 3rd correction email. She just sent one this morning reminding parents there is no school tomorrow, November 5th. It's just 1 line. Proofreading isn't her strong suit.
David’s school has a new principal, and it’s SO nice to not have cringe worthy communications from the previous one. She needed a proofreader and an editor. And the parents all laugh bc the new principal speaks English as her third or fourth language. So her mistakes would be so much more understandable
I ask and I ask and he can never come up with anything he would want to eat besides pizza, fruit, and potato chips.
Ugh I feel this frustation. The other night we went out to eat with friends (so we didn't choose the restaurant) and my kid didn't want anything they had. Which they had plenty of normal options, but the mac and cheese was the wrong shaped pasta, the chips weren't lays, the plain beans were too spicy... After dinner she was so sad asking why the restaurant didn't have any food for her to eat and it's like because you don't eat anything! This is the difficulty of being so limited.
Salute to all of us trying our best to be good parents.
ETA: My mom, recently, was like, huh, we could've done more to help you when you were struggling so much in middle school and early high school, sorry about that. I was like, um, yes that would have been great and a lot better than… [deleted in case you don’t want it out there]
I did not say those things. Instead I said that yes, it would have been better not to have struggled alone, know better/do better, etc.
A huge round of applause to all you parents out there. For this exact reason. I read these posts and think “wow, I wish my parents had recognized my anxiety and ADHD, and said she’s just expressing it poorly, instead of you are such a little bitch.” Or things like that. Bravo to you! For real!
Mine didn't call me names (and I'm sorry yours did!) but I think the same thing otherwise - life could have been so much easier had I received the interventions and support I needed when I was a kid. I think parents these days - at least on these boards, which is where I get the majority of my exposure to parents - are killing it in regards to supporting their kids. Mental health is hard, but with parents who are actively engaged in finding the right interventions they are going to be so much better off!
My parents weren't unsupportive, they were just clueless about all of it so no shade to them, though.
wildrice, so I know y’all don’t get the guy I call my nephew, primarily bc my first story was not the most flattering. But, he has been so helpful with this. He is like the first person in my life that pegged my quirks as ADHD related and just accepts them. Granted, he also says I need lots of therapy, but in a supportive, not judgy, way.
My supervisor's last day is next week, and I'm having a lot of feelings about it. She's the first supervisor I've had in my entire career that I've had a truly good relationship with - not that I haven't gotten along with all of the others, but they have never made me or my work feel like a priority. I also just really like my supervisor as a human and will miss interacting with her. I hate how frequently people come and go out of your life as an adult. It feels like every time I start to feel like I have a deeper connection with someone, something changes where we end up going separate ways. One thing I've really struggled with ever since I moved here almost 6 years ago is making work friends - and I miss that. Other friends are great but they are not a part of your day to day so I end up feeling kind of lonely without someone to just chit chat with about whatever I am thinking about at that moment. Anyway, my supervisor isn't a traditional work friend anyway but I will miss her a lot. I really like the woman who will be supervising me after she leaves, but this woman was my supervisor when I started here and she was far less engaged in what I am working on so I don't have high hopes about this change.
wildrice , so I know y’all don’t get the guy I call my nephew, primarily bc my first story was not the most flattering. But, he has been so helpful with this. He is like the first person in my life that pegged my quirks as ADHD related and just accepts them. Granted, he also says I need lots of therapy, but in a supportive, not judgy, way.
That's so great! After hanging out with a bunch of 20 somethings in Italy for a week, I actually felt a lot of hope for the future of humanity - they are so much more empathetic about mental health and open about talking about feelings that I remember myself and my peers being at that age. Like I had some really wonderful conversations with a 24 year old guy that just shocked me at his emotional maturity compared to what I remember 24 year old boys being like. I'm glad you have a younger friend who it sounds like has a similar approach.
Post by Leeham Rimes on Apr 4, 2024 13:18:49 GMT -5
Thank you everyone for all the kind words. Got all paperwork done today and Wesley is set up for homeschool tomorrow.
We had done this in 2020/2021 due to the pandemic so I know that the quality of the education he’ll receive from this program is far superior to our current local schools. And that he’ll be one on one is exactly what he needs to succeed. I am mostly scared for me bc I work from home and have shit abilities for time management but I’m going to go back to my adhd coach to help me through this. I’ll likely have to quit my dog walking side gig if I can’t manage my work. Which will be a bummer bc I love the dogs and the extra j come.
There’s also a beautiful program near us that lets him go “to school” once a week for a few hours with classes like gardening and yoga so he can have some classmates still. But that’s not til next school year.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Post by basilosaurus on Apr 4, 2024 13:25:24 GMT -5
Has anyone tried coconut water powder? It's my favorite non-water drink (and I drink a lot of it b/c it's flipping hot, and I'm always sweating), but sometimes it's difficult to find, and it's even a regional product. Plus, I can't get multipacks like at Costco. It would be nice to just always have it available, and powder seems to fit that. But I'm dubious.
Re: mental health and supports, my dad's wife made multiple comments about how lucky I was to be at a school that wasn't likely me to slap me with a label of adhd because I showed many signs. Well, yeah, that's kind of a problem. I got excellent grades until college hit, then I was pretty paralyzed and could no longer coast on just reading a textbook on occasion. I still struggle with some of the same aspects, although I've not felt it bad enough to seek diagnosis or treatment. Imagine, bragging to your child she didn't get evaluated and not treated. I'm so glad that despite all your parenting struggles you share that at least there's been a massive cultural shift even if needs aren't always met.