@ Don't tell America the Babysitter is dead

[Deleted]

Apr 11, 2024 14:55:02 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Apr 11, 2024 14:42:49 GMT -5 waverly said:

Good point.  Honestly, I think that DS would gain some skills in babysitting but he has zero interest, and I am sure that is a cultural gender thing.  

Maybe the male equivalent might be mowing lawns/ shoveling snow for that 14-18 age range.  

I see you point upthread about capitalism, but I can see executive function gains from a teen going through the process of aquiring a job and learning about the job.  If my son (using him because he is the oldest) is just sitting around playing video games all summer at age 16, then that time could be better spent doing practically almost anything else including a job.  Using summer here because, for him anyway, there isn't any sports/ school/ anything else that he would really be involved in.  

I'm not against teens having jobs. My main issue is crying about 12 yos not being allowed to babysit anymore. It's speaking to a lot of feminist issues such as seeing girls as being more responsible than boys at younger ages, having harder/more complicated jobs while being paid as a low cost laborer. We wouldn't blink about paying someone $20 to mow a lawn (per hourly wage), but we want to pay a babysitter less. Babysitting is a whole lot more complicated than starting a lawnmower and pushing it.

I think there's arguments to be made about letting kids grow, and I've said it before in other threads. Babysitting isn't a great shining example of this, though.

Yeah, I’m definitely not sad that we’ve moved past this aspect of exploiting young girls and women for cheap child care in the name of “preparing them for their futures” as wives or moms. But I think there’s still a case to be made that using older teens for occasional light childcare can be mutually beneficial for the teen and the parents, if done to today’s standards of pay and expectations.

FWIW, an equal number of the teens we use for babysitting are boys. Our large UMC neighborhood Facebook page has roughly equal numbers of adds for male and female teenage babysitters and male and female young business owners and entrepreneurs.

[icedcoffee]

Apr 11, 2024 15:15:45 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Apr 11, 2024 13:22:37 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

We rarely use a babysitter. For us it's because my kids are in daycare and/or aftercare all day.

We used a teenager once and honestly, it was kind of stressful. The teens I know in the neighborhood do seem a little immature.

IDK. I'm really looking forward to being able to leave the kids home for short periods of time alone.

This. We never go out. I say I’d like to, but finding babysitters has been so hard and it’s so expensive these days. It’s easier/cheaper to just get takeout and put a movie in for the kids.

I also think people are more protective of their kids. We hired a neighbor kid to babysit when she was 13 and a mom friend said she would be too scared to do that. We went to dinner in town and her parents live next door. I wasn’t nervous and actually was psyched to find someone. The kid plays several sports tho so she’s not available all that much.

I too am counting down until DD1 is old enough to watch DD2. I’ve been told 12 is reasonable? At that point DD2 will be 8.5. Only 3 years to go!

In my state they can be home alone at 8, but they need to be 13 to babysit.  So I need to wait until my kids are 8 and 11.  Depending on their personalities I'd be fine with that for running out quickly, but it would probably be a while after that until date nights!  

Ah well.

[penguingrrl]

I’ve hired teenage babysitters, but not nearly as often as I babysat as a teen. For me the difference is cost. I made less than minimum wage when I was babysitting because I didn’t pay taxes (only by a hair, I definitely still brought home more than I would have with the various deductions as I learned when I moved on to a grocery store job and my net went way down), now the teens near me who advertise are asking well above minimum wage, usually around $20/hour. Great for them as far as pricing themselves fairly, but it meant we couldn’t afford to use them and still have the money to go out.

[beerlover]

We've used lots of teen sitters, but I'm in a small town and H was the HS principal here for a long time so he knew most of the kids that were coming over. The issue I've found is that most of the kids that I would want to babysit are also in sports or other activities so they are frequently not available.

We currently use a 12 year old sitter a lot, but we're really close with her parents. So if we're going out with them, she'll babysit DS, and they're in frequent communication with her as to how things are going. I just need someone older here basically to watch TV with him, play games with him, and makes sure he eats some pizza, lol.

I do notice like janegold mentioned that teens these days don't seem to do much cleaning up. It seems like that should be a given and it isn't. Not that things are bad when we get home, but there's definitely room for improvement.

[fancynewbeesly]

Apr 11, 2024 15:15:45 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Apr 11, 2024 13:22:37 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

We rarely use a babysitter. For us it's because my kids are in daycare and/or aftercare all day.

We used a teenager once and honestly, it was kind of stressful. The teens I know in the neighborhood do seem a little immature.

IDK. I'm really looking forward to being able to leave the kids home for short periods of time alone.

This. We never go out. I say I’d like to, but finding babysitters has been so hard and it’s so expensive these days. It’s easier/cheaper to just get takeout and put a movie in for the kids.

I also think people are more protective of their kids. We hired a neighbor kid to babysit when she was 13 and a mom friend said she would be too scared to do that. We went to dinner in town and her parents live next door. I wasn’t nervous and actually was psyched to find someone. The kid plays several sports tho so she’s not available all that much.

I too am counting down until DD1 is old enough to watch DD2. I’ve been told 12 is reasonable? At that point DD2 will be 8.5. Only 3 years to go!

DD started watching DD2 briefly last year---usually if we had back to school night or something. At that time DD was 11 and DD2 was 4. Now, in 7th grade DD1 picks up her sister at the bus stop every afternoon and watches her for about 45-60 minutes until I get in. (They are 12 and 5) now. 

However DD1 has ZERO interest in actually babysitting---she is anxious and way to nervous about a kid choking or a fire or something that. She doesn't like watching DD2 for long periods of time because she is worried about her choking so doesn't want to feed her. I think the longest she has watched her independently was 3 hours during the morning. Because they had a delayed opening for school. She hasn't watched her at night yet except for conferences or something school related that was quick. 

[zarapipe]

I have a 14 year old and she got a job as a host at a breakfast restaurant. She loves it. She has no desire to babysit. And I think she learns a lot more skills at a restaurant with a lot less stress (kids stress her out). She will watch her 4 and 9 year old sisters for short period of times but only for errands, not like dinner and a movie. 4 year old is wild though and dd1 has a hard time handling her.

Like others, we rarely go out. It’s $$ with sitters. We have used teens before. One was horrible and one was fantastic but she got busier the older she got and I don’t think she babysits anymore. Last I heard she is working at subway.

I babysat a lot as a kid and made soooo little. We pay a sitter $20 an hour now and we save them for “must haves” instead of socializing. We had a sitter yesterday all day bc it was spring break and it was $200 for the kids. Painful.

[macmars45]

We had a 15/16 year old watch DS when he was 3. She was excellent. We would've kept using her but covid happened and we moved away.

Our 15/16 year old next door neighbor babysat DS(7) for a few days last August. H WFH so he was physically in the house the whole time. DS got an autism diagnosis at 5 years old so we mostly use my sisters and my parents to watch DS. He's a very different kid now so it's hard to find people DS feels comfortable with and that we feel comfortable leaving him with knowing his struggles and challenges.

We pay minimum wage ($15/hour) for our teenager babysitters, fwiw.

I babysat from age 11-18. I had two regular families I sat for 1-2x/every 6-8 weeks). A family with twin boys and one with two girls two years apart in age. Both were pretty chill jobs as all the kids were school aged.

[sent]

Our culture has changed. There are still opportunities for enterprising tweens and teens to babysit if they want to do it and earn money. I get little flyers at home and see posts periodically for mother's helpers and baby sitters.

This article feels like it's pining for times that no longer exist.

[konapoppy]

Apr 11, 2024 13:50:06 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

The article felt like the long form of the social media meme, "I never wore a bike helmet or a seatbelt as a kid and I turned out fine!"

We've learned a lot about child development and age appropriate activities. I'm fine with 12 and 13 yos not babysitting.

There is something off to me about how this article is structured in general. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I do think this correlates with other societal changes - decrease in religious affiliation, teenagers not being eager to get their license, decrease in birth rates, decrease in minor abduction cases.

Anecdotally we tried to have a neighbor hs junior babysit (we had her first be a mothers helper) and she was so overwhelmed she wanted to bring her sister next time. I’m not paying two of you for this job!

[ssmjlm]

I didn't want to babysit because I didn't like kids. Not because I didn't want to work.

I think besides the overscheduling culture of teens now, a lot more aren't necessarily into traditional thoughts of family, kids etc. I've met a lot of 20 somethings who are no kids or ver much fence sitters in starting a family. And they're married or in long term relationships.


ETA: I thought this was going to be about the horrible remake of the movie. LOL

[circa1978]

I had so much anxiety being left to watch my little brother at 10 and being expected to babysit when I was 14. I barely felt qualified to care for my OWN infant at 32. I'm fine with my 13 year old not entering the workforce.

[eddy]

I edited my post because I didn't want to make a whole discussion outside of the babysitting talk. As a parent with a 16 year old I am surprised at how so many things that encourage independence are different for this generation. It feels like a big shift, but I have only parented once so many this is how it is for all generations. 

[eddy]

Also I babysat a ton as a kid. How many of us have memories of being driven home by the dad at the end of the night. In reflection you are like.... um what that guy drunk? they were out late.

So at the very least maybe we have moved away from that way of thinking.

When my kids were little we used college kids as they worked at their daycare. THey were more expensive but also more willing to babysit as they always needed money lol.

[Patsy Baloney]

Apr 12, 2024 8:09:24 GMT -5 eddy said:

I edited my post because I didn't want to make a whole discussion outside of the babysitting talk. As a parent with a 16 year old I am surprised at how so many things that encourage independence are different for this generation. It feels like a big shift, but I have only parented once so many this is how it is for all generations. 

I’m wondering what the replacement activities are regarding independence. Not that I think babysitting is the be-all, end-all of independence, but it’s one of many things that have faded.

My oldest is 11, so I haven’t had much experience in tweens and teens. But, for instance - sleepovers. Almost no one does sleep overs anymore. We hosted one and got 4 kids to come, 3 to stay the night. It was nice, but parents were very wary and I felt like I had to send updates often to achieve their comfort level and be trusted. It is similar in campouts that I’ve hosted for GSs.

What do kids do instead to foster independence? Are there modern equivalents, or are we just really, really tethered to our kids now?

[wawa]

Apr 11, 2024 16:57:00 GMT -5 beerlover said:

We've used lots of teen sitters, but I'm in a small town and H was the HS principal here for a long time so he knew most of the kids that were coming over. The issue I've found is that most of the kids that I would want to babysit are also in sports or other activities so they are frequently not available.

We currently use a 12 year old sitter a lot, but we're really close with her parents. So if we're going out with them, she'll babysit DS, and they're in frequent communication with her as to how things are going. I just need someone older here basically to watch TV with him, play games with him, and makes sure he eats some pizza, lol.

I do notice like janegold mentioned that teens these days don't seem to do much cleaning up. It seems like that should be a given and it isn't. Not that things are bad when we get home, but there's definitely room for improvement.

I give zero fucks if my teen babysitters don't clean?  Like, i don't want to come home to chicken nuggets tossed like confetti around the living room, but if there are dishes in the sink and some toys or a board game sitting out...I don't care?  I didn't hire them to clean.  I hired them to ensure safe, fed, content children when I return.

Are we talking about something else here? 

[beerlover]

wawa, I'm not really talking about cleaning - mainly just talking about food and cups being left out, or crumbs everywhere, stuff like that. I don't expect anyone to do dishes but like at least put the snacks away that you had and put the pizza back in the fridge and put the cups on the counter, maybe throw out any large pieces of food still left? Like one time, I came home and DS had eaten a bunch of strawberries and left the little green parts on the table in the living room. Maybe throw those out? IDK, is that too much?

[wawa]

Apr 12, 2024 9:56:36 GMT -5 beerlover said:

wawa , I'm not really talking about cleaning - mainly just talking about food and cups being left out, or crumbs everywhere, stuff like that. I don't expect anyone to do dishes but like at least put the snacks away that you had and put the pizza back in the fridge and put the cups on the counter, maybe throw out any large pieces of food still left? Like one time, I came home and DS had eaten a bunch of strawberries and left the little green parts on the table in the living room. Maybe throw those out? IDK, is that too much?

I think for me it depends on your expectations for your own kids on cleaning.
If that's stuff that your kids knew better on and the babysitter would have just had to prompt them to clean up after themselves, or they could do it together, then no I dont think that's too much. You might need to say something "please remind the kids to clean up their toys/crumbs/snacks as they go" as part of your general instructions, but it's not unreasonable. But if your kids never clean up after themselves, then I wouldn't expect a teen to scurry behind them straightening while your kid is off doing something else.

Like if your kid ate those strawberries, and then hopped off the chair and dashed off to play...a teen choosing staying with the kid is a pretty understandable thing for them to do.

[glw]

It seems like there's been a shift in what we expect a babysitter to be. When I was a kid, our teen babysitter was there to function only as a slightly-older human with the ability to make a phone call in case of emergency. There was no expectation that they play with or entertain us, make food, clean up, etc. Literally just to be a live human in the house and to perhaps intervene if the house was on fire, we were about to kill ourselves/each other, or we attempted to run away. I see this as different then a "professional childcare provider" who has actual skills and responsibilities and thus pay. Teen babysitters were paid very little to watch tv and occasionally yell at us to stop making so much noise as we rode down the stairs in a laundry basket. They served a function for an occasional night out for parents, as opposed to actual childcare after school or during school breaks.

[beerlover]

wawa, that's fair! You're right, I guess it's more about her prompting him or asking him to help her than cleaning herself. B/c he's certainly capable and just needs a lot of reminders.

[basilosaurus]

Apr 12, 2024 8:14:39 GMT -5 eddy said:

Also I babysat a ton as a kid. How many of us have memories of being driven home by the dad at the end of the night. In reflection you are like.... um what that guy drunk? they were out late.

So at the very least maybe we have moved away from that way of thinking.

When my kids were little we used college kids as they worked at their daycare. THey were more expensive but also more willing to babysit as they always needed money lol.

Oh, absolutely. You could smell the smoke and whiskey. Meanwhile, your parents are telling you never to accept a ride from a friend who's been drinking, and it's total immunity to call if you every need a lift.

[erbear]

My kids are old enough to babysit but don’t because they don’t like children. But they want to make some money but aren’t really old enough for most other jobs yet. It’s tough.

I happily left them with young teen babysitter when they were 5-10 years old. I’m a teacher and often had 2-3 kids I trusted because I taught them babysit once they were in 9th grade and not my student anymore. They did fine and my kids liked them. Their favorite was a boy.

[basilosaurus]

I have so many anecdotes of when I was given far more responsibility than I should have, and that's not a special snowflake moment. So I'm not going to lament that maybe parents are thinking otherwise about leaving such responsibilities with teens.

There was a nonverbal non-potty trained 7 year old with severe CP and her toddler brother. There was the 3 under 5 with a puppy and hellion oldest. These were walking distance from home, but I never called my parents for help. I'm not even sure dad's wife, "mom," would have been capable of helping. I was the primary sitter with my cousin when I was 11 because she told me she had never changed a diaper.

Most were chill easy money. But there were definitly parents that put a whole lot of trust in a kid.

FTR I got recommendations because of neighborhood, church, my parents' and grandparents' friends and friends of their friends spreading the word. Those are likely not networks the way they were.

[akayf]

Apr 11, 2024 13:33:25 GMT -5 ans1999 said:

Re: after/before care. I work in a K-8 school. It is astounding to me that parents complain about lack of after care for their middle schoolers. I would think that would be a good time practicing being home alone. We dismiss at 4:15 so not super early. My teens don't babysit but they do have jobs at the local grocery store. As a counselor, I get a little on my high horse at how little responsiblity we allow kids and how much I think that is associated with the lack of confidence/self-esteem/rise in anxiety that I see in the kids.

Every year in the local moms FB group, there are people complaining about no aftercare for middle school. Middle school is grades 6-8.

The hovering is insane. I pick up my 7th grader because we opted to send them to a different middle school than our zoned one and it is not walkable.(it’s about 5 miles from our house and part of that is a highway). And no bus since it’s not the zoned school. I park a couple blocks away. I see parents parking and walking to the doors to pick up their kid, like in elementary school. They don’t trust their kid to find the car! And DH sees parents walking their kids to the door at drop off(he stops a block away and kicks kid out of the car) I know a couple people who clutched their pearls because on days when I can’t get there at dismissal, my kid walks 2 blocks to the coffee shop and gets hot chocolate or lemonade(depending on the season) and does homework for 30 minutes until I get there. Sometimes my 10th grader walks from the high school to pick him up and keeps him company if he doesn’t have any after school activities. He loves the independence!

[erbear]

Apr 12, 2024 11:18:48 GMT -5 akayf said:

Apr 11, 2024 13:33:25 GMT -5 ans1999 said:

Re: after/before care. I work in a K-8 school. It is astounding to me that parents complain about lack of after care for their middle schoolers. I would think that would be a good time practicing being home alone. We dismiss at 4:15 so not super early. My teens don't babysit but they do have jobs at the local grocery store. As a counselor, I get a little on my high horse at how little responsiblity we allow kids and how much I think that is associated with the lack of confidence/self-esteem/rise in anxiety that I see in the kids.

Every year in the local moms FB group, there are people complaining about no aftercare for middle school. Middle school is grades 6-8.

The hovering is insane. I pick up my 7th grader because we opted to send them to a different middle school than our zoned one and it is not walkable.(it’s about 5 miles from our house and part of that is a highway). And no bus since it’s not the zoned school. I park a couple blocks away. I see parents parking and walking to the doors to pick up their kid, like in elementary school. They don’t trust their kid to find the car! And DH sees parents walking their kids to the door at drop off(he stops a block away and kicks kid out of the car) I know a couple people who clutched their pearls because on days when I can’t get there at dismissal, my kid walks 2 blocks to the coffee shop and gets hot chocolate or lemonade(depending on the season) and does homework for 30 minutes until I get there. Sometimes my 10th grader walks from the high school to pick him up and keeps him company if he doesn’t have any after school activities. He loves the independence!

Our middle school starts in 5th and some parents lose their minds about lack of aftercare. But...we don't have it. Kids can be at school, and lots stay until 5-5:30 but there isn't an adult in charge of them. It's important to give kids some confidence that you trust them, even when there isn't someone hovering.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Apr 12, 2024 11:18:48 GMT -5 akayf said:

Apr 11, 2024 13:33:25 GMT -5 ans1999 said:

Re: after/before care. I work in a K-8 school. It is astounding to me that parents complain about lack of after care for their middle schoolers. I would think that would be a good time practicing being home alone. We dismiss at 4:15 so not super early. My teens don't babysit but they do have jobs at the local grocery store. As a counselor, I get a little on my high horse at how little responsiblity we allow kids and how much I think that is associated with the lack of confidence/self-esteem/rise in anxiety that I see in the kids.

Every year in the local moms FB group, there are people complaining about no aftercare for middle school. Middle school is grades 6-8.

The hovering is insane. I pick up my 7th grader because we opted to send them to a different middle school than our zoned one and it is not walkable.(it’s about 5 miles from our house and part of that is a highway). And no bus since it’s not the zoned school. I park a couple blocks away. I see parents parking and walking to the doors to pick up their kid, like in elementary school. They don’t trust their kid to find the car! And DH sees parents walking their kids to the door at drop off(he stops a block away and kicks kid out of the car) I know a couple people who clutched their pearls because on days when I can’t get there at dismissal, my kid walks 2 blocks to the coffee shop and gets hot chocolate or lemonade(depending on the season) and does homework for 30 minutes until I get there. Sometimes my 10th grader walks from the high school to pick him up and keeps him company if he doesn’t have any after school activities. He loves the independence!

I always chuckle when I ask the grandparents to pick my kids up for me and they are all anxious about the 'pick up process' and want details and all I can tell them is that I park and sit in my car and let my kid find me.  My kids are 12 and 14 and both have phones.  They are fine to look for a car in a parking lot, even if you need to text them and tell them it's a different car than what they were expecting.  
Although I will admit, earlier this week I took ds to therapy.  I often sit in the waiting room for him while he's in with his therapist, but I decided to go pick up dinner this time.  I came back, and the door to the waiting room for the office was locked.  I called the office, and got their message that they were closed.  I then figured ds was the last appt. of the day and the secretary saw no one in the waiting room and locked up and left, so I texted ds and went and waited in the car.  It gave me pause, but then common sense kicked in and I was like, oh well, ds can find his way out of the building and find my car in the parking lot just like with any other activity.  

My dd is 12 and I will not be pushing her to babysit at all, but she does 'look after' her cousins at most family gatherings because she likes to (they are 2, 3, and 5 years old).  I think that is plenty of experience in terms of caretaking for her unless she wants more.  But I will expect both my kids to have summer jobs at some point during high school to learn more responsibility with things like being on time and whatnot.  But I also try to foster independence in them with things like checking in on their own for appointments and even making phone calls and things like that too.  I feel like there is a whole skill-set that has died out for this generation, not just babysitting.

[waverly]

I’m laughing because DS can find us in a moving car pick up line or after BB practice but doesn’t seem to know how to find my car in the parking lot after a school field trip. He literally shuffles back to the bus door like he’s waiting for a friend to exit the bus. He does have EF delays but dude do I really have to spell out how to walk around the bus, cross the driveway and look for my car in a parking lot? If I wait for him to figure it out it’s just him shuffling back and forth. I gave him a few minutes and then had to get out of my car. He wasn’t even looking at the parking lot. Sometimes I don’t understand what goes through his head. I would love suggestions for those kind of things but if it’s executive function coach then we do have a tutor for him.

[jane6672]

Ugh, my only (paid) babysitting job I was 15/16 and it was for a family of 6 kids, aged 2-12ish. It was NOT my idea, my mom pressured me into it bc the family “needed the help”. I don’t know what the situation was.

Those kids were WILD. I hated it so much. After a few times I finally talked my mom out of it.

[ESF]

Apr 12, 2024 7:09:14 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

I didn't want to babysit because I didn't like kids. Not because I didn't want to work.

I think besides the overscheduling culture of teens now, a lot more aren't necessarily into traditional thoughts of family, kids etc. I've met a lot of 20 somethings who are no kids or ver much fence sitters in starting a family. And they're married or in long term relationships.


ETA: I thought this was going to be about the horrible remake of the movie. LOL

This is the whole reason I came into this thread.  The original movie is a favorite of mine haha.

Now that I'm here, I'll play along.

We no longer force children to work in coal mines for pocket change so it's hardly weird that an 11 year olds aren't babysitting at below minumum wage rates anymore either.

Now an anecdote.

Growing up in the 80s, there was a period where my friends' parents and my parents used the same babysitter.  My friends' parents were early proponents of screen time limitations, so TV was severely restricted even when the babysitter was over. They also did not keep junk food in the house. I remember the babysitter stopped taking most jobs from them because it was too much work. 

Back then, $2/hour seemed great if the kids could watch TV and play Oregon Trail all night while you read a book and put a frozen pizza in, and raid the good snacks in their cupboard. 

But $2/hour was bullshit if you take away the screens and the potato chips.  There's no book reading when those are the rules. You are working.  Keeping kids entertained, actively watching them in outdoor games, cutting up apples and carrots.

My sense is that babysitting nowadays often has many more features of the latter scenario than the former. This is a good thing.  We are better aware of things like sensory issues, food intolerances, mental health, etc, and that results in more specialized instructions and job asks of babysitters.  Going outside is a bigger production - we're more concerned about sunscreen, helmets, etc.  The screen time rules no longer seem weird and irrational.   And even where screen time is allowed, it can require more active monitoring (especially on social media). 

Given that, it's not surprising to me that it costs more and is more regularly not being done by 12 year olds.

[Deleted]

Apr 14, 2024 11:21:31 GMT -5 ESF said:

Apr 12, 2024 7:09:14 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

I didn't want to babysit because I didn't like kids. Not because I didn't want to work.

I think besides the overscheduling culture of teens now, a lot more aren't necessarily into traditional thoughts of family, kids etc. I've met a lot of 20 somethings who are no kids or ver much fence sitters in starting a family. And they're married or in long term relationships.


ETA: I thought this was going to be about the horrible remake of the movie. LOL

This is the whole reason I came into this thread.  The original movie is a favorite of mine haha.

Now that I'm here, I'll play along.

We no longer force children to work in coal mines for pocket change so it's hardly weird that an 11 year olds aren't babysitting at below minumum wage rates anymore either.

Now an anecdote.

Growing up in the 80s, there was a period where my friends' parents and my parents used the same babysitter.  My friends' parents were early proponents of screen time limitations, so TV was severely restricted even when the babysitter was over. They also did not keep junk food in the house. I remember the babysitter stopped taking most jobs from them because it was too much work. 

Back then, $2/hour seemed great if the kids could watch TV and play Oregon Trail all night while you read a book and put a frozen pizza in, and raid the good snacks in their cupboard. 

But $2/hour was bullshit if you take away the screens and the potato chips.  There's no book reading when those are the rules. You are working.  Keeping kids entertained, actively watching them in outdoor games, cutting up apples and carrots.

My sense is that babysitting nowadays often has many more features of the latter scenario than the former. This is a good thing.  We are better aware of things like sensory issues, food intolerances, mental health, etc, and that results in more specialized instructions and job asks of babysitters.  Going outside is a bigger production - we're more concerned about sunscreen, helmets, etc.  The screen time rules no longer seem weird and irrational.   And even where screen time is allowed, it can require more active monitoring (especially on social media). 

Given that, it's not surprising to me that it costs more and is more regularly not being done by 12 year olds.

I guess could be a big difference between people who use babysitters regularly (ie: weekly?) and those of us who use them a few times a year. I’m very happy to relax every rule I have to make a babysitter’s night easier. Order pizza, have treats and snacks, all the screen time, stay up late….if H and k are going out, it’s a special night for us and we are treating ourselves, so we’re more than okay with it being a special night for our kid who stays home. But I probably wouldn’t do this if we needed care weekly.

[waverly]

I can’t really compare the time periods because growing up my parents rarely hired a babysitter. Maybe 3 times total, and I only babysat once.

We did have a weekly babysitter, so we did require more of her. I did hire a responsible 13/14 year old occasionally but her job was easier a little bit. Honestly the downside to that age was driving them home. I prefer a neighbor or someone who can drive themselves home because driving 15 minutes there and back is adding a lot of time to a night out.

DS will be 14 this summer/ early fall so I think we will increase the amount of time they can be home alone.