@ Don't tell America the Babysitter is dead

[underwaterrhymes]

I babysat a lot when I was younger. I had regular clients and I made pretty decent money. I was also a babysitter who played with the kids, cooked dinner, and cleaned up. I could afford to be picky. I remember babysitting for a family who was TERRIBLE. The kids actually showed me their mom’s vibrator. And the mom gave me something like $5 at the end of the night. I only sat for them the one time.

ETA - our sitter doesn’t really clean up aside from putting away what they’ve eaten (we usually order pizza or McDonald’s for her and the boys), but the kids are always still awake when we get home because we are early birds with our dates and it’s less stressful for the kids, so there isn’t a lot of time for her to tidy. She plays with the kids and does crafts with them, which is what we care about most.

[karinothing]

Honestly? My husband and I don't go out that much. I went to lunch with a friend the other day and he was mentioning how his wife and him went out every single Saturday night on a date, which is pretty much the complete opposite of me. I feel like we do so many activities and DH works a lot that we rarely get to see each other as a family that Friday or Saturday nights are really the only time we can get 100% family time. I don't know, I feel like sometimes people get weirdly judge about this.

DS is 12 now so when we do leave, they just stay home together without a sitter, which is nice. I think he could watch other people's kids except I have zero idea when he would fit it into his schedule (which I think others have mentioned).

[shauni27]

Apr 11, 2024 14:01:23 GMT -5 pugz said:

We use a teen across the street and her mom shadowed the first time or two when she was younger. Now she's a sophomore. I appreciate having a sitter that doesn't need a drive home! But we don't go out much and when we do we usually do it when the kids are at the grandparent's for a sleepover.

this is the worst part of hiring younger teens; having to drive them! I HATE IT, lol.

Apr 12, 2024 8:14:39 GMT -5 eddy said:

Also I babysat a ton as a kid. How many of us have memories of being driven home by the dad at the end of the night. In reflection you are like.... um what that guy drunk? they were out late.

So at the very least maybe we have moved away from that way of thinking.

When my kids were little we used college kids as they worked at their daycare. THey were more expensive but also more willing to babysit as they always needed money lol.

honestly, it was always the dad who drove me home and it always just felt so awkward, so now I always drive the babysitters home so these young women also do not have to feel the same way--quite frankly it is already awkward for me to drive them home!

We have two "regular" teenage sitters for when my mom or in laws are not available. One is just 13 (my goddaughter) and she is my favorite because she actually washes all the dishes, and, due to how far away she lives (30 minutes) and the fact that she is my goddaughter, she spends the night so no one has to drive her around late. She gets paid to babysit, she does a good job and then she gets the privilege of a night at her "aunties'" house which means her cell phone is allowed in her bedroom after a certain time, lol.

[Deleted]

Apr 15, 2024 10:24:55 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Honestly? My husband and I don't go out that much. I went to lunch with a friend the other day and he was mentioning how his wife and him went out every single Saturday night on a date, which is pretty much the complete opposite of me. I feel like we do so many activities and DH works a lot that we rarely get to see each other as a family that Friday or Saturday nights are really the only time we can get 100% family time. I don't know, I feel like sometimes people get weirdly judge about this.

DS is 12 now so when we do leave, they just stay home together without a sitter, which is nice. I think he could watch other people's kids except I have zero idea when he would fit it into his schedule (which I think others have mentioned).

Maybe this is an introvert/extrovert thing? The last thing I want to do every Saturday is get dressed up (read: real pants and a bra) to go out on a date. My husband and I are both homebodies, and we’d much rather chill on the couch in our sweats, order in, and stream a movie or watch sports. And going out is SO EXPENSIVE!!!

[karinothing]

Apr 15, 2024 13:16:02 GMT -5 @villainv said:

Apr 15, 2024 10:24:55 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Honestly? My husband and I don't go out that much. I went to lunch with a friend the other day and he was mentioning how his wife and him went out every single Saturday night on a date, which is pretty much the complete opposite of me. I feel like we do so many activities and DH works a lot that we rarely get to see each other as a family that Friday or Saturday nights are really the only time we can get 100% family time. I don't know, I feel like sometimes people get weirdly judge about this.

DS is 12 now so when we do leave, they just stay home together without a sitter, which is nice. I think he could watch other people's kids except I have zero idea when he would fit it into his schedule (which I think others have mentioned).

Maybe this is an introvert/extrovert thing? The last thing I want to do every Saturday is get dressed up (read: real pants and a bra) to go out on a date. My husband and I are both homebodies, and we’d much rather chill on the couch in our sweats, order in, and stream a movie or watch sports. And going out is SO EXPENSIVE!!!

Ha, maybe. I am a big extrovert but don't feel the need to go out every weekend. I also think my kids would be kind of annoyed with us?  lol. 

We are going to see Bad Religion soon and I haven't been to a concert in a million years and I am somewhere nervous because its standing room only and i am 400 years old. BUT we don't need a babysitter because I will just order pizza nad put on a movie and the kids will be happy. 

[wildrice]

Apr 12, 2024 10:20:50 GMT -5 glw said:

It seems like there's been a shift in what we expect a babysitter to be. When I was a kid, our teen babysitter was there to function only as a slightly-older human with the ability to make a phone call in case of emergency. There was no expectation that they play with or entertain us, make food, clean up, etc. Literally just to be a live human in the house and to perhaps intervene if the house was on fire, we were about to kill ourselves/each other, or we attempted to run away. I see this as different then a "professional childcare provider" who has actual skills and responsibilities and thus pay. Teen babysitters were paid very little to watch tv and occasionally yell at us to stop making so much noise as we rode down the stairs in a laundry basket. They served a function for an occasional night out for parents, as opposed to actual childcare after school or during school breaks.

Maybe it's #regional? I babysat a lot between 11-15 and I definitely was expected to play with, make basic meals for, and clean up after kids that I sat for. The summer I was 14 I was paid a whopping $25 a day to watch the neighbor kids all day while their parents were at work. We did frequently go over to play at my house since I had younger sisters and one of them was bffs with one of the kids in my charge, so maybe my mom helped out more than I remember. But I also remember a lot of LONG days trying to keep them entertained and figuring out WTF to have for lunch when they didn't leave very well planned meals. I guess this would have been 199-1996ish. I remember watching a lot of Space Jam that summer.

I actually don't like kids much - maybe this is why lol. I don't know if I ever liked kids, it was just the only way to make your own money at that age. Places near me didn't hire kids until they were 15 so if you wanted spending money you had to earn it somehow. I changed diapers and watched families of 3+ kids who were all under 10. It's pretty wild when I think about it - I see my nephew who is 10 and he's responsible enough for his age but I can't imagine leaving a baby with him in 9 months when he turns 11! He is still such a kid himself.

I do have mixed feelings about not having kids babysit though. Other than maybe turning me off of childbearing forever (not a bad thing IMO) I don't think I was harmed by it. I was not overscheduled and enjoyed the responsibility and the money. If anything it probably did make me better prepared for more typical jobs later. It would have been nice if my parents could have just given me spending money and I wouldn't have had to work at all, but that wasn't possible. They always provided for needs but it was nice to be able to have control over obtaining "wants", too.

[ssmjlm]

Apr 15, 2024 13:16:02 GMT -5 @villainv said:

Apr 15, 2024 10:24:55 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Honestly? My husband and I don't go out that much. I went to lunch with a friend the other day and he was mentioning how his wife and him went out every single Saturday night on a date, which is pretty much the complete opposite of me. I feel like we do so many activities and DH works a lot that we rarely get to see each other as a family that Friday or Saturday nights are really the only time we can get 100% family time. I don't know, I feel like sometimes people get weirdly judge about this.

DS is 12 now so when we do leave, they just stay home together without a sitter, which is nice. I think he could watch other people's kids except I have zero idea when he would fit it into his schedule (which I think others have mentioned).

Maybe this is an introvert/extrovert thing? The last thing I want to do every Saturday is get dressed up (read: real pants and a bra) to go out on a date. My husband and I are both homebodies, and we’d much rather chill on the couch in our sweats, order in, and stream a movie or watch sports. And going out is SO EXPENSIVE!!!

My kid spends a huge chunk of time with my parents and it's 50/50 if we go out. Usually we get take out and catch up on tv/movies.

She used to ask us what we did and I guess was getting disappointed with our boringness.


I also know having family locally (that will watch her of course) means we don't need other babysitters. Growing up we did not live near any family, closest was 45 mins away.

[karinothing]

I honestly have zero desire to have my kid babysit other kids or have my kids be watched by teenagers. Its not that I don't trust them, it just doesn't seem like it should be their job to take care of kids.

[heygrey]

I babysat all the time as a teenager. Living in a rural area meant jobs were far away. Babysitting or working on a farm was the only thing local. Looking back I am horrified at some of the stuff I was left to manage. Potting training a 2.5 year old?? I was 13! The summer I was 15, I babysat everyday from 7:30-4:30 and made $60 A WEEK. This was in 2001.

H and I aren't against teenage babysitters, but the cost is a huge deterrent. $20/hr is the going rate even for a single child, so paying $80-100 + whatever costs from our night out? That really isn't in our budget regularly. I am very thankful that we have a few friends who are happy to trade babysitting so we do get the occasional night out.

[wanderingback]

In regards to going out, my partner and I do go out separately with friends probably once a week (him sometimes more).

When we get a babysitter it’s $28/hour so I do feel like we need to make the most of it and plan something, instead of doing something "regular" like going to dinner.

I certainly don’t feel the need to make specific plans for my partner and I to go out weekly. So far I haven’t felt the need to find a younger sitter that’s closer to $20/hour to go out more regularly with my partner.

I also feel lucky that we have a pretty chill toddler who usually goes to bed around 9pm. So we do take her out to eat and other activities so I don’t feel trapped at home like me and my partner never get to go out or anything.

[sakoro]

Apr 15, 2024 14:41:37 GMT -5 wildrice said:

Apr 12, 2024 10:20:50 GMT -5 glw said:

It seems like there's been a shift in what we expect a babysitter to be. When I was a kid, our teen babysitter was there to function only as a slightly-older human with the ability to make a phone call in case of emergency. There was no expectation that they play with or entertain us, make food, clean up, etc. Literally just to be a live human in the house and to perhaps intervene if the house was on fire, we were about to kill ourselves/each other, or we attempted to run away. I see this as different then a "professional childcare provider" who has actual skills and responsibilities and thus pay. Teen babysitters were paid very little to watch tv and occasionally yell at us to stop making so much noise as we rode down the stairs in a laundry basket. They served a function for an occasional night out for parents, as opposed to actual childcare after school or during school breaks.

Maybe it's #regional? I babysat a lot between 11-15 and I definitely was expected to play with, make basic meals for, and clean up after kids that I sat for... [snip] I do have mixed feelings about not having kids babysit though. Other than maybe turning me off of childbearing forever (not a bad thing IMO) I don't think I was harmed by it. I was not overscheduled and enjoyed the responsibility and the money. If anything it probably did make me better prepared for more typical jobs later. It would have been nice if my parents could have just given me spending money and I wouldn't have had to work at all, but that wasn't possible. They always provided for needs but it was nice to be able to have control over obtaining "wants", too.

I babysat older kids (5-8 years old) from age 13 or so. I was responsible for making simple meals like Kraft Mac & Cheese, playing Candyland, playing with them outside, supervising the kids on bikes, putting on videos, and making sure the kids brushed their teeth, changed into pajamas and went to bed on time.

I similarly don’t feel that I was harmed by those experiences and I liked the responsibility and extra spending money. ($3/hr in the 90s)

The summer that I turned 18, I provided full day childcare for a 15 month old and that was much harder. I had to change diapers and often couldn’t figure out what he wanted or needed especially in the beginning. He was a happy kid for the most part, but challenging to keep him entertained. I wasn’t allowed to drive him anywhere like the library for story time or meet up with other kids/ families (which I might have done if I’d been a SAHM). It convinced me that I didn’t want to be a SAHM.

[breezy8407]

Reading the article brought back memories. At age 11-12 I often babysat for a family with three kids with the youngest being a baby. I don't know how I did it. I wouldn't want to do that today as a mom of two in my forties. Definitely had the dad drive me home probably impaired situation. I got paid $3 an hour.

We've hired a paid babysitter all of one time. It was fine, but we usually had grandparents watch them if we needed someone during the early years. Now they are old enough to stay home alone, but we rarely go out. I also just want to hang out as a family on the rare Friday or Saturday night we are all home together.

[sent]

Apr 16, 2024 18:40:42 GMT -5 heygrey said:

I am very thankful that we have a few friends who are happy to trade babysitting so we do get the occasional night out.

I want to do this for our friends. I should ask around. 

[sunshineandpinot]

I used babysitters a lot when my girls were younger. My husband traveled and I really enjoyed my nights out with friends. I always had several to choose from. I had dinner ready but I did expect them to clean up after dinner, play with my kids, and leave my home in basically the condition they found it. The quickest way for me to take them off my list was coming home to a trashed house or to find out they didn't interact with my kids. I never had trouble securing babysitters. My kids were easy and always went to bed without issue. They looked forward having a babysitter.
I am glad that is behind me though, it did add up! $$$
My daughters are now starting to babysit and I stress playing with the kids and leaving the house tidy; in the condition they found it. It's a great way for them to make a little spending money but I don't think every teen *needs* to babysit. It's not for everyone; you need to want to do it.
I babysat a lot as a teen. I was in sports and couldn't commit to a job; it was a great way for me to make extra money when my schedule allowed.