Appropriate funeral attire for kids

[meowmaps]

The last time I went to a funeral it was pre-kids. In addition to likely needing to get clothes for myself, I will be going to my grandmother’s funeral next weekend with my kids (almost 6 and almost 3). How should I dress them? Both girls. My oldest loves color and “hates” neutrals. She has a gray dress with cats all over it that I could pair with black leggings. Would the cat design be inappropriate? Pretty sure I’ll have to buy something new for my toddler since she has nothing that would fit the bill. TIA

[lust2hart]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I truly think that whatever you put your girls in will be fine! The cat dress sounds great, and whatever your toddler/you pick out will be fine. I'd probably put the toddler in leggings/shirt just so she's not messing with a dress.

[VillainV]

The last few funerals I went to people were dressed in normal church clothes, not necessarily dark colors or neutrals. I think what you described is fine.

[simpsongal]

For my father’s funeral, kids were 3 and 6. Ds wore a button down shirt and pants. Dd wore a little cordoroy maroon jumper I bought at Walmart with like Mary Jane’s. I just wanted something in a neutral tone. Honestly, anything would have been fine. We had sitters whisk them away before the funeral started.

[wanderingback]

I’m sorry for your loss.
This hasn’t happened yet but I doubt I would go buy anything new for kids for a funeral. As long as they’re not in a bathing suit I think regular clothes are ok. jeans and a top is fine and what you describe sounds just fine.

[fivechickens]

The last two funerals we attended were for my aunt and uncle (they were married to each other and my kids were very close to). At both D3 wore what she wears to school which is athletic type clothes. I say, let them wear what they want.

[rachers]

I’m sorry for your loss. My DD was 5 last year for one and I did purchase a little black dress for her, but honestly anything will be fine. Our immediate family all wore black but there was everything from jeans to suits, for young and old. Let your kids wear what they feel comfortable in.

[sparty04]

No one is going to judge what a kid is wearing. If it were me I'd just put them in the nicest thing we already own that they won't object to wearing. Sorry for your loss

[W.T.Faulkner]

My daughter wore a black swing dress from Old Navy to my aunt’s funeral last year. It was comfortable for her.

[googled]

Very sorry for your loss. My son wore a navy cowl neck sweater and black dress pants to his dad’s funeral. I think the kid’s version of “business casual” is appropriate.

[jinkies]

Apr 26, 2024 21:20:50 GMT -5 sparty04 said:

No one is going to judge what a kid is wearing. If it were me I'd just put them in the nicest thing we already own that they won't object to wearing. Sorry for your loss

Agree with this. The gray cat dress sounds perfect.

[rennequin]

My girls were those ages & it was around this time of year when my dad died. They wore navy blue & white dresses because that’s what I could find in the post Easter sales. I should’ve focused more on comfort. Sorry for your loss.

[erbear]

I’m sorry for your loss.

I don’t think it matters. When my FIL died, my kids were 2 and 4. I couldn’t get it together to try to find dark clothes so they wore floral dresses and it was fine.

[sadlebred]

If she likes the grey cat dress, let her wear it. I'd let the 3 year old wear something comfortable and clean but not necessarily church clothes. If it's sneakers, so be it.

[Jalapeñomel]

I’m sorry for your loss.

I think people should wear whatever makes them comfortable, including children.

[meowmaps]

Thank you all. I agree that kids should be kids and be comfortable. I’ll do the cat dress for my oldest and go through my toddler’s clothes today to find something she’d like. Then I can focus on finding something for myself.

It’s been quite a week. We said goodbye to our 17 year old cat on Wednesday morning and then my grandmother passed in the afternoon. It was expected, but not necessarily that soon. My mom was able to fly out in time to say goodbye but I was otherwise engaged at home. For many reasons, the loss of our cat is felt more acutely, but it’s hard not having had any closure with my grandma. I’ll say goodbye next week.

[eddy]

I live in the Midwest and we tend to be a bit more casual sometimes. When my mom died it was unexpected. I think my kids just wore polos and kakis. I definitely didn’t shop for black clothing.

[eddy]

And I am very sorry for your loss.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I'm sorry for your loss. The last funeral my kids attended, DD was 5, and everything she wore was twirly and sparkly. It was right after Christmas, and she had a dress that was mostly black and white with some gold stars and a gold sparkly elastic waistband. I was a little worried about the sparklyness of it being inappropriate, but really, no one cared what the kids were wearing, and having the kids there was a bit of a 'pick me up' during such a sad occasion. People were happy to be able to say to DD how pretty she looked as she twirled in her dress, a bit oblivious to what was going on. There were a bunch of kids there, and they ended up playing card games and other quiet games (this was during the viewing) in a room off to the side for most of the evening.

[dontlook]

I’m sorry for your loss.
When my grandma died I bought my kids clothes and they have never touched them again so I’d say let them wear something they already own. The cat dress with black tights sounds appropriate.

[waverly]

For my grandma’s funeral DS wore a white button down shirt and khakis and DD wore a black dress with flowers that I bought from Kohls. I definitely could have put them in anything but my Grandma loved shopping so I went shopping in honor of her.

[dancingirl21]

My grandfather’s funeral was last week. Most people didn’t wear black. I had a black dress so I wore that and some of my cousins were also in black. But their kids were in whatever. A couple of the boys had khaki pants and a dress shirt or polo. The girls had on cute little dresses. One was in green, one in blue.

[nicolewi]

I would do anything dark-ish colored, and the cat dress would be 100% fine. I think people even kind of like to see kids in something more lighthearted…helps the mood a bit.

FIL passed away in December a couple years ago. I looked at a picture. My son had a suit… I do remember that was a scramble, because he was a pallbearer, and we just bought an inexpensive suit at Kohl’s. My oldest had a black dress. Next daughter had an ivory and black checked dress from target with black tights and boots. Youngest actually wore a red dress, with a black furry cardigan on it. And black tights. I wasn’t sure about the red dress, but with it being Christmas time, everyone thought it would be OK and it was.

I’m sorry about your cat and your grandma.

[kdubs923]

I’m so sorry for your loss, what a tough week for you and your family.

I’d suggest Sunday best sort of clothes, but not necessarily black or neutrals. My kids were 5 and 7 for my dad’s funeral. It was May 1, so they just wore their Easter clothes from a few weeks earlier. DD’s dress was navy with colorful flowers and DS had navy pants and a checkered button up shirt. Agree with PP, most people were happy to see kids and have a bright spot in a crappy day. Nobody is judging if kids look somber.

Honestly, my dad’s funeral was in the early Covid times, I wore a bright Boston Bruins face mask. Because he loved the Bruins. I think a funeral/service is more about honoring the person who has passed instead of wearing all black to show everyone else you’re grieving.

[skidunks]

I’m sorry for your loss. When my mom passed away my boys wore black and white checkered shirts and jeans. Both things they already had. Everyone was just happy to meet them.

[hbomdiggity]

For my dad’s funeral I bought a $$ suit at Nordstrom for DS (8). I was already out of town and DH could do curbside pickup before flying out. He has actually worn it again so that’s a win. He literally had nothing but athletic clothes so I had to buy something.

But honestly, any nicer dress would be fine. Did your grandmother have a fav color she could honor her by wearing?

[meowmaps]

Apr 27, 2024 14:36:12 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

Did your grandmother have a fav color she could honor her by wearing?

Good question and suggestion.  She loved chartreuse!  She was one of those rare people who could pull it off.    

[basilosaurus]

Apr 27, 2024 15:06:48 GMT -5 meowmaps said:

Apr 27, 2024 14:36:12 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

Did your grandmother have a fav color she could honor her by wearing?

Good question and suggestion.  She loved chartreuse!  She was one of those rare people who could pull it off.    

I did this with my gramma as an adult. A bright blue shirt she loved . If it set old gossipy tongues wagging, sobeit. 

Kids are fine with whatever they're comfortable in. Don't sweat it. You have plent on your plate now.

[stemmie]

I'm sorry for your losses.

[meanie]

I'm sorry for your loss

We just had the kids wear their regular nice clothes. DD was in a floral dress and DS wore chinos and a sweater.