work travel - go or stay home?

[raleighnc]

I also keep forgetting that you had to drag yourself upstairs to stop him from spanking your kid at bedtime while you cried downstairs during your own health crisis. You were way more disabled than he currently is, and while I'm sure he was overwhelmed, your genuine distress wasn't enough to change that small behavior. And now he wants you to disrupt your work so you can be his target for the silent treatment? Get the grandparents involved and go.

[maudefindlay]

Oh my gosh, I forgot about that raleighnc. Reading it again makes my heart sink. OP if you haven't already please tell someone irl what is going on. You need support.

[ssmjlm]

mpc while you're on the plane on your work trip, because you need to go, please read back through all the encouragement this community has given when you post.

Your DH is abusing you. Even if he's not hitting you, you are in an abusive relationship.

IT'S OK TO LEAVE. Protect yourself and your kids.

And then when you get back from the trip, find a lawyer and get the ball rolling.

[polarbearfans]

You will regret not going. Enjoy your trip. Keep a couple extra days for yourself. Have the kids stay with the grandparents. Don’t let him manipulate you into staying. There is no reason for you to skip your trip. He has local support, and no real issues that he needs someone 24/7, and even if he did, again there is local family support.

[pixy0stix]

Ok, with all the backstory. Are you absolutely sure that he's even having a medical crisis? Because this man sounds unhinged and you need to leave ASAP.

[lilac05]

It sounds like he's able to work just fine right now, so that should be of no concern. (And if something changes, that's between him and his employer and unrelated to where you are physically at the time.) I understand his concerns about driving, and if he has a lot of anxiety, thinking about the being solely responsible for the kids might feel overwhelming, especially as it's unknown if it'll continue to get worse.

Since you have grandparents in town, would it be possible for them to take the kids while you are gone so your H only needs to worry about himself? If there's an urgent situation, you *could* get home fairly quickly and the kids would already be safe and cared for.

Given everything else, I would make plans for the kids and then go on your trip. He can manage himself and call for assistance if needed.

[Nugget T. Brain, The OG]

OK so you're going though right?

RIGHT??

[nicolewi]

GO and enjoy it. There is no specific need for you to be home, and he needs to be a grown-up, too.