Totally fine or Bat shit crazy

[maudefindlay]

poof

[lavenderblue]

I have to say SS. If it was MY Mom, I'd be totally fine with. If it was exH's Mom (while we were married obviously) I'd probably have to move LOL Honestly though, it is weird, especially if they never even spoke to you about it beforehand.

[cjcouple]

It'll depends on the parents/in laws.

My in laws live 6 mins away and we never see them and they don't ever just stop by unannounced, so it would be fine in my situation.

[deadwing]

I think this is something that everyone is going to have a different opinion on, and that's OK.

I, for one, would be extremely pissed off. I need a buffer zone!

[ssmjlm]

My parents, we would be cool with it.

My ILs, nope.

[Susie]

Totally depends on the relationship.

My grandparents did this to my parents, and my mom cried.  Her ILs were never kind to her, she was pregnant, building a house, had a 4 yo (me)... and all of a sudden her ILs are moving from upstate to precisely that neighborhood, where my parents had just broken ground?  For real?  It was a line cross for sure.

But if my dad did it now in our neighborhood, I'd think it's great.

[spindle92]

ss here

this all depends on the type of relationship you have.
I bought the house across from my parents but I am also single and get along great with my parents.

[Roc A Bee]

I need more info. Like you found out AFTER the purchase? Like surprise!! That would be bat shit for me.

[TR]

My reaction would depend on so many different factors.
- do I like them?
- Have we ever discussed living near each other before?
- When did I find out this information?
- when am I moving into the lot and when are they moving into their lot? Like is this a right now thing or is this a “I bought this for the future” thing.

[cmeon]

Yeah, did they ask? I don't have parents I like (or in-laws who are alive), so I would be unhappy either way- but if they asked first amd I liked them it's fine. Otherwise... not great.

[abs]

Totally depends. If it was my mom or MIL I’d be thrilled. FIL maybe not. If there was no conversation and just “surprise!” I’d be annoyed.

[wanderingback]

Yeah way too many variables.
Did they tell you before? Do they already live locally?

Both my parents live a few states away and my partner’s dad lives in a different country. My partner’s dad is "crazy" so I do think it would be crazy. We get along with both of my parents (divorced) but it would be a bit "crazy" if they just uprooted their lives and moved states without notice.

If either of my parents already lived locally and this had been a previously discussion that they’d be moving closer then it would be totally fine.

[jinkies]

Well I have some experience here bc my SIL moved into our neighborhood a few years ago, close enough that our kids are at the same bus stop.

But they had a unique situation to buy a house below cost from *her* in-laws, so it wasn't completely out of left field.

They did still talk it over with us first.

We also, honestly, have a disproportionate number of neighbors with family members who also live here (parents or siblings).

So I don't find it inherently weird to have family members in the neighborhood. I *would* find it weird if they sprung it in you as a surprise after the sale was already final.

[scm1011]

If its a surprise its INSANE.

[Patsy Baloney]

The close proximity would help me make it look more like a believable accident if I lose my shit and run them over so I’m fine with it.

[mcmel]

I had a rocky relationship, mainly with my mom, when my parents bought a house in the neighborhood over from us. It has only been beneficial.

When my dad got sick and passed away it made it so convenient to go check on them.

Checking on my mom’s dogs while she’s away and vice versa has been so insanely helpful. My mom just pulled a package off my porch for me 2 days ago bc I didn’t want it sitting out while I was at work all day.

I’ve only had a positive experience with having them close.

[shauni27]

I think that if it was not discussed at all then no matter what, it is batshit crazy.

Do I think it is crazy to live in the same neighborhood as your parents in general though? Not at all, as long as everyone feels like it will be a good fit

[emilyinchile]

The way the OP is written makes it sound like they just showed up with this plan fully formed (or even with the purchase already made) with no prior conversation or general understanding that it would be nice if you guys were neighbors. In that case, it's weird AF.

I personally wouldn't mind if either set of parents lived that close to us, but it would still be weird if they presented it as fait accompli.

[cap]

I would be fine if my parents did that, but I would not be fine if my IL's did that. My IL's are separated, and my MIL and SIL have just shown up on our doorstep about 5 times completely unannounced. At dinnertime. They live a couple of hours away and were down in our area for medical appointment. And then I can't stand my FIL, but I know he wouldn't ever just show up at our house b/c he'd expect us to be at his to fawn over him.

[sillygoosegirl]

I don't think it's crazy, but it definitely would have been polite for them to ask how you felt about it first!

I'd be thrilled if my parents moved in next door. My in-laws... less excited, especially now that MIL has dementia, but in many ways it wouldn't be a terrible thing, IMO.

[Jalapeñomel]

I would love it if my in laws could do this.


My parents would drive me bananas.

[underwaterrhymes]

Sept 12, 2024 14:23:27 GMT -5 TR said:

My reaction would depend on so many different factors.
- do I like them?
- Have we ever discussed living near each other before?
- When did I find out this information?
- when am I moving into the lot and when are they moving into their lot? Like is this a right now thing or is this a “I bought this for the future” thing.

This exactly. We have four sets of parents who live in four very different locations around the country (and one parent who lives out of the country), so we would be absolutely shocked.

[CrazyLucky]

My MIL is amazing. I love here. The kids love her. She is the perfect kind of MIL in that she doesn't break the rules we have for the kids. She's a retired teacher and is always helping them with homework, even from afar. She isn't the type to just pop over because she feels like it. I would love to have MIL in our neighborhood. No problem at all.
My dad sticks to himself unless you pretty much beg him to come over or make up some reason (Can you help me figure out what's wrong with the dishwasher?) So I wouldn't mind him either. When my mom was still alive, God love her, I would have needed much more space.

[fluffycookie]

Did they tell you beforehand?

We need a buffer zone because my dad can be a bit much at times. He wanted us to look at the house across the street from him years ago and then my grandmother's which was 4 houses down from his and both times MH said nope and I agreed.

[maudefindlay]

poof

[jackie011]

This literally happened to me. I was 4 months pregnant, we’d been in our house about 4 years and the ILs came to visit. I came home from work and my DH looked out the back door and said “mom and dad just bought that lot” pointing caddy corner to our yard. 10 years later, I cannot imagine our life any other way.

[flygirl]

It’s bat shit to not even discuss it with you. Like you said, you don’t own the neighborhood but the fact that they did it without saying anything is sketch.

Eta: I see how it happened now-do you think he actually will follow through?  I mean, if the person respects boundaries it’s probably ok, but if they don’t, I’d be super annoyed.  But I need a buffer too…I don’t need my neighbor coming up to me and knowing all of my business because that’s for sure what would happen with either ILs or my own parents.  

[fivechickens]

My inlaws bought property from FIL’s parents (they had 80 acres, IIRC). They moved next door (or if you live in a subdivision the equivalent of 5 houses away). FIL’s mom would get binoculars and spy on FIL/MIL (mostly MIL) so they planted pine trees to block their view. FIL’s mom was pissed when they got tall enough to block the view. Lol

I don’t think I’d mind if MIL moved in the sub with us. I certainly would drop the kid’s off a lot.

[ssmjlm]

Oh wow, anyway your DH can convince him otherwise.

We're trying to convice MIL and her husband to move into an independent step down community and they're spending $60k on a sunroom for a cat that isn't theirs, so I do realize that there may be no listening from the boomers.

[livinitup]

I am voting BSC for the fact that it was a surprise & house money changed hands before you were asked/told.

That’s the crazy part. Not the “Hey, we can afford this and here are our expectations. What do you think?”





Also, it might not be “crazy” but it’s really grating they are playing the part of “parent” with their money as they don’t have to consult you even though it’s obviously about you and expectations they have formed about them/you.