Would this be off putting at a baby shower

[pixy0stix]

Sept 23, 2024 9:38:23 GMT -5 TR said:

Sept 23, 2024 9:37:39 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I'm more concerned that a majority of people don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom then I am about where my shoes have been.

Also, aren't you concerned about picking up foot fungus?

(Honestly I don't really care about this issue, but it's fun to rile people up.)

Wait WHAT? A majority? Was this a poll here or something? Barf

There was a thread where this was talked about in general. I can't remember if it was associated with a news article, but the upshot was that a large number of people don't wash their hands, or do so in a not very effective manner. Not specifically here, but in general.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Sept 23, 2024 9:22:01 GMT -5 flygirl said:

I have never understood this. Do you all wear shoes in your own house? Why do you want shoes that have walked who knows where walking all over your floors/carpets?
I never wear shoes in other peoples houses even if they tell me it’s ok.

I’d do what the other poster suggested and get punk and blue socks or something shower themed or tell people to bring something else as you just got new floors and are shoe free

Yes, I wear shoes in my own house almost all day...I have feet issues and need the support.  If I'm not wearing shoes, I'm wearing orthodic slippers.  We also have a dog door and 2 dogs that go in and out on a whim all day long, so our floors are not clean unless I've just vacuumed, mopped, and shut the dog door.  I do vacuum and mop before hosting a gathering, but the dogs are likely still going to be going in and out (unless it's a gathering where I've boarded the dogs to avoid this), so I don't care if people leave shoes on.
My kids are also well past the crawling on the floor stage.  Kids in general do take their shoes off when they come in, but I don't ask them to or force them to.  

BUT I totally get wanting to keep new floors nice in someone else's house.  Like others, I'd appreciate knowing ahead of time.  I have made a mental note of which book club members like shoes off at their house, and I definitely wear different shoes and socks to those houses than I do to ones when I know I can keep my shoes on.  

I also kinda like the idea of having pink/blue socks for them to choose from if it's a surprise whether the baby will be boy or girl.  I'm not usually a fan of gendering pink and blue, but at a baby shower it's still pretty standard.  

[rhian]

I'm Asian so we're 100 percent shoes off, and I honestly feel weird and gross wearing shoes in anyone's house, even if they tel me I can leave them on. I ask all guests to take off shoes. I still host parties, and if any guests are mad about that, that's on them 🤷🏻‍♀️

[nicolewi]

I agree that people should have a heads up if you plan to do this. And also keep in mind that can be very hard for older guests to get the shoes on and off and it can be embarrassing for them to have to struggle. Also, some older guests may need their shoes for stability or foot problems. As people get older, they are more prone to bunions, corns, funky toenails, or all kinds of things they might not want to expose to the world. So I think you would have to be prepared for some exceptions.

I have zero issue taking my shoes off for a casual gathering, but it is sometimes annoying when you are dressed up and your shoes are part of your outfit and then you have to go barefoot or put on socks that look goofy.

Could you be a little flexible and say something like, “we have new floors so please no spiky heels. We are typically a shoes-off house but feel free to keep your shoes if you are more comfortable.”

Honestly, if you can’t be flexible about this at all, then I do think you should have it somewhere else. I think it’s fine to invite people to remove shoes or encourage it, but there are a lot of reasons some people might not want to do that or be able to do that.

[sunshineandpinot]

This must be regional. I live in the south and I cannot remember a time where I was asked to remove my shoes. I'm pretty social and am in and out of homes often and I cannot think of one time.
I get it, and I understand why but it's just not a thing where I live. I would do it, but I would like a heads up (maybe after I rsvp) and I would also expect really clean floors. (op, not an issue as it sounds like your floors will be new and clean and you probably keep a very clean house anyway
ETA- I really do get it. After we moved in, we hosted a Christmas party and my high school bff wore spiky heels and left marks on my wood floors. I also bet there won't be many spiky heels at a small baby shower.

[eb777888]

I would appreciate a heads up. I went to a gender reveal party that asked for shoes off when we got there, and I was barefoot. I felt so awkward and of course that stupid boring party went on and on and on. Unrelated to the shoes thing, but that whole experience turned out weird.

We are a no-shoes household. We do not ask guests to take off their shoes.

[TR]

Is there another close friend who could cohost at their house with you doing the bulk of the actual planning/setup?

[rubytue]

Sept 23, 2024 9:51:01 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

I agree that people should have a heads up if you plan to do this. And also keep in mind that can be very hard for older guests to get the shoes on and off and it can be embarrassing for them to have to struggle. Also, some older gas may need their shoes for stability or foot problems. As people get older, they’re in more and more with bunions, corns, funky, toenails, or all kinds of things, they might not want to expose to the world. So I think you would have to be prepared for some exceptions.

not just older! This is one of those hidden disability things. I lost much of my proprioception in my left foot from chemo at 45. I have a real hard time maintaining my balance barefoot. And, I’d like to think 45 (when it happened) or 50 (now) isn’t the older you are talking about. 

[mommyatty]

Sept 23, 2024 9:22:01 GMT -5 flygirl said:

I have never understood this. Do you all wear shoes in your own house? Why do you want shoes that have walked who knows where walking all over your floors/carpets?
I never wear shoes in other peoples houses even if they tell me it’s ok.

I’d do what the other poster suggested and get punk and blue socks or something shower themed or tell people to bring something else as you just got new floors and are shoe free

Yes. I do wear shoes in the house. In part because while I’ve never had a doctor tell me not to walk around with shoes on in my house, I’ve had several doctors tell me not to walk around barefoot where other people are walking around or have walked around barefoot. I’m kind of grossed out when I have to take off my shoes in other people’s houses unless I knew ahead of time and can protect my feet with socks or slippers. I also pay for TSA Pre-Check so I don’t have to be barefoot in the airport.

[soccermama]

If you host and ask people to take their shoes off, just make sure no one's Manolo's go missing.....

[expectantsteelerfan]

Sept 23, 2024 10:09:27 GMT -5 soccermama said:

If you host and ask people to take their shoes off, just make sure no one's Manolo's go missing.....

I wondered who else was thinking about this!

[waverly]

I would ask your friend what she thinkgs. I am in the Midwest, so it is more common to ask people to take off their shoes, but the places I go to the people are kind of militant about it, and it is kind of off putting to welcome someone into your home and then immediately tell them they are dirty. Of course if it is winter and my shoes are a mess, it is no problem, but generally my shoes are totally fine.

So I personally think it is fine to ask but give a heads up in the invitation so people can choose if they want to bring socks or slippers.  From a hosting standpoint, a private room at a restaurant would be much much easier if maybe a little pricier. 

[orval]

Sept 23, 2024 10:19:10 GMT -5 waverly said:

I would ask your friend what she thinkgs. I am in the Midwest, so it is more common to ask people to take off their shoes, but the places I go to the people are kind of militant about it, and it is kind of off putting to welcome someone into your home and then immediately tell them they are dirty. Of course if it is winter and my shoes are a mess, it is no problem, but generally my shoes are totally fine.

So I personally think it is fine to ask but give a heads up in the invitation so people can choose if they want to bring socks or slippers.  From a hosting standpoint, a private room at a restaurant would be much much easier if maybe a little pricier. 

But there is nothing worse than taking off your wet/snowy shoes and stepping in a wet spot in your socks! 

[waverly]

orval, so true. One of the many fun things about winter!

[litskispeciality]

Sept 23, 2024 10:02:43 GMT -5 TR said:

Is there another close friend who could cohost at their house with you doing the bulk of the actual planning/setup?

While moving to another friends house or a restaurant would be more effort and/or money this may be the best way to go. I've been to parties where I've been asked to remove my shoes (in the winter), but was annoyed as I planned an outfit around knee high boots to look fancy. I also hate socks, so I'd def need a heads up if I'm expected to remove my shoes as I assume the host wouldn't want my bare feet on their floors.

[maudefindlay]

Sept 23, 2024 9:38:23 GMT -5 TR said:

Sept 23, 2024 9:37:39 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I'm more concerned that a majority of people don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom then I am about where my shoes have been.

Also, aren't you concerned about picking up foot fungus?

(Honestly I don't really care about this issue, but it's fun to rile people up.)

Wait WHAT? A majority? Was this a poll here or something? Barf

Nothing surprises me about hygiene anymore. This board is where I learned people poop in dressing rooms.

[mcppalmbeach]

The differences are so interesting to me!

We are a no shoes house, but I have never asked a guest to remove them. At friends’ houses, I just kick them off at the door out of habjt and my friends do also here. However for larger parties where, for instance, people come wearing an “outfit,” shoes always seem to be worn. Presumably people are cleaning their floors after a party 🤷‍♀️

The only time I encountered a no shoes rule was at a birthday party was with my youngest son at a 3 year old birthday party. They had a cricut sign at the door about taking our shoes off. It was awkward because I didn’t know where to put our shoes. Like I said they normally got kicked off at the door, but that seemed weird to do at a structured party with 20 kids plus their adults and having a pile of 40 pairs of shoes at the door. The party was also indoor/outdoor with a playground and bounce house in the back. I didn’t know if o was supposed to go and grab shoes from the front door and bring them out or what. So I vote a heads up is nice and also a place to put shoes is good to. 10 people will be easier to manage though.

[Jalapeñomel]

Nobody around here wears shoes in the house, so everyone would expect that.


But clearly regional, because my parents/people in AZ never seem to take shoes off (probably because no rain or snow).

[mofongo]

Not a thing here, I'd feel naked without shoes on. I also have plantar fasciitis, so it's not great for me to be barefoot, and I wear birks 90% of the time.

Def give them a heads up, or move the party.

I'd honestly be annoyed.

[ellipses84]

I would let people know when they RSVP and have some socks or something on hand. We are a no shoes house in an indoor / outdoor climate and aren’t that strict with guests because it’s hard when you have a party where people are in and out a lot and people wear sandals and may be uncomfortable going barefoot. I like the idea of themed socks.

I saw for weddings on grass they have little plastic things that go on heels so the heels don’t sink. They make those shower cap like shoe covers for other shoes if people want to keep their shoes on (which aren’t a bad idea to have on hand for repair people or whoever if you just got new floors).

[ellipses84]

Another idea is to have the party outside and lay rugs down in the paths / areas people might be inside.

[sparkythelawyer]

Sept 23, 2024 9:22:01 GMT -5 flygirl said:

I have never understood this. Do you all wear shoes in your own house? Why do you want shoes that have walked who knows where walking all over your floors/carpets?
I never wear shoes in other peoples houses even if they tell me it’s ok.

I’d do what the other poster suggested and get punk and blue socks or something shower themed or tell people to bring something else as you just got new floors and are shoe free

Yes, Yes I do.  Because plantar fasciatis says so.  I also own vacuums and mops.

[wanderingback]

Sept 23, 2024 10:07:55 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Sept 23, 2024 9:22:01 GMT -5 flygirl said:

I have never understood this. Do you all wear shoes in your own house? Why do you want shoes that have walked who knows where walking all over your floors/carpets?
I never wear shoes in other peoples houses even if they tell me it’s ok.

I’d do what the other poster suggested and get punk and blue socks or something shower themed or tell people to bring something else as you just got new floors and are shoe free

Yes. I do wear shoes in the house. In part because while I’ve never had a doctor tell me not to walk around with shoes on in my house, I’ve had several doctors tell me not to walk around barefoot where other people are walking around or have walked around barefoot. I’m kind of grossed out when I have to take off my shoes in other people’s houses unless I knew ahead of time and can protect my feet with socks or slippers. I also pay for TSA Pre-Check so I don’t have to be barefoot in the airport.

I def never learned that in medical school! What is the reason for not walking around barefoot in your house where others also walk around barefoot?

Also, I feel like unfortunately cultural competency is lacking in medical and health education. In many cultures and religions it is common practice to take off shoes to enter homes and houses of worship. So to tell someone it will make you sick or is gross to take off your shoes is really out of touch with people’s lives.

[sparkythelawyer]

I've been to parties with both. Here's thing - I feel like such a damned weenie wandering around someone's party that they spend substantial time planning, in my bare feet. Also, no guarantees that a) I'm wearing socks b) my socks don't have holes in them. BECAUSE THE SOCKS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE COVERED BY MY SHOES. And my feet get weirdly cold without shoes on. I always wipe my shoes at the door to avoid unnecessary dirt tracking.

If you're that uncomfortable with people walking on your floors, I'd say you're not ready to host events at your house yet. Do the restaraunt or a different friend's house.

[mofongo]

Sept 23, 2024 10:51:00 GMT -5 ellipses84 said:

Another idea is to have the party outside and lay rugs down in the paths / areas people might be inside.

It's still so hot and humid in the south.

[sparkythelawyer]

Sept 23, 2024 11:04:10 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Sept 23, 2024 10:07:55 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Yes. I do wear shoes in the house. In part because while I’ve never had a doctor tell me not to walk around with shoes on in my house, I’ve had several doctors tell me not to walk around barefoot where other people are walking around or have walked around barefoot. I’m kind of grossed out when I have to take off my shoes in other people’s houses unless I knew ahead of time and can protect my feet with socks or slippers. I also pay for TSA Pre-Check so I don’t have to be barefoot in the airport.

I def never learned that in medical school! What is the reason for not walking around barefoot in your house where others also walk around barefoot?

Also, I feel like unfortunately cultural competency is lacking in medical and health education. In many cultures and religions it is common practice to take off shoes to enter homes and houses of worship. So to tell someone it will make you sick or is gross to take off your shoes is really out of touch with people’s lives.

This is important in all sorts of medical community places.  My MIL did EI physical therapy for ages 0-3 and had to be mindful of the shoe topic in certain cultures (for example certain Asian cultures) where people don't wear shoes inside.  She would tell parents to get the baby shoes for inside so they could have the baby in good arch supported shoes at all times while they were going through therapy to adust his/her gait.

[Patsy Baloney]

As a guest in someone’s home, I would take shoes off and not think a thing about it. I wouldn’t need or want a warning either.

I am so type A it hurts. I finally found the thing I don’t care about, lol.

[loira]

Well now you're just giving the Canadian media free headlines: Americans wear shoes in the house and don't wash their hands!

[circa1978]

I envy people whose family are on the same page with shoes inside the house. Me and my DS - shoe free. I take mine off in the garage and he takes his off in the laundry room. DH also insists his doctors have told him he needs to wear shoes. He will not walk barefoot and it is has been a serious struggle over almost 20 years to get him to have indoor shoes. He grew up in Chicago so the cold/ice thing IDK did not stick on him.

[dontlook]

Sept 23, 2024 8:40:50 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

Sept 23, 2024 8:33:19 GMT -5 heygrey said:

Cue the Canadians who are horrified this is even a question. Of course you can ask people to take their shoes off. If you need to give them a heads up, do that.

Serious question: what do older Canadians do? My house in shoe free, however my parents and grandma need the support shoes give and/or have a hard time taking shoes off/putting them on. So they are the only people who wear shoes in my house.

I’m not Canadian but Minnesotan which is the same thing lol. We don’t wear shoes inside as a general rule. When my older relatives come over they wear shoes that are easy to slide off and on and bring inside shoes.

Our new house has hardwood floors so I’m less particular about shoes off. My kids are especially bad about it in the summer when they are running in and out all day. I just commit to mopping more often.

I wouldn’t think twice about no shoes but a heads up and cute socks or slippers might be nice if this isn’t your norm.