Would this be off putting at a baby shower

[jobae1234]

Yes, I would be put off. For one thing I wear custom orthotics so there’s a medical/pain issue at play. For another I don’t want to walk around someone else’s house barefoot unless I know them well.

My unpopular opinion is that people who are ultra rigid about shoes on in the house shouldn’t host parties.

[bittybomb]

This isn't really a thing where I live, so I would be taken aback by such a request.  I also do plan my shoes with my outfits.  I guess as long as I knew in advance I'd be alright with it, but probably would think it weird.  And if not warned and hadn't had a recent pedicure, I'd probably feel self conscious if left without socks.

We would never ask guests to remove shoes in our house.  My husband is squicked out by other people's bare feet - like once I took a super cute pic of my kids and one of our sons had bare feet.  My husband was like please crop the feet, lolololol.  But I also mop and wash my floors regularly.  We also have a dog.  And I honestly cannot imagine having a party and requesting people remove a piece of their outfit.

Kids do remove their sneakers by our front door but that is moreso so the shoes don't get lost throughout the house.

[rubytue]

Sept 23, 2024 11:06:37 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

I've been to parties with both. Here's thing - I feel like such a damned weenie wandering around someone's party that they spend substantial time planning, in my bare feet. Also, no guarantees that a) I'm wearing socks b) my socks don't have holes in them. BECAUSE THE SOCKS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE COVERED BY MY SHOES. And my feet get weirdly cold without shoes on. I always wipe my shoes at the door to avoid unnecessary dirt tracking.

If you're that uncomfortable with people walking on your floors, I'd say you're not ready to host events at your house yet. Do the restaraunt or a different friend's house.

Seriously. Despite my annoyance, I do see both sides here. Like I get why people don’t wear shoes in the house, but it’s never been super common anywhere I’ve lived. But, I also believe that a hosts job is to make their guest comfortable, and there is a portion of the population that would be uncomfortable. Even just in this thread, maybe each side is giving the side eye to the other, but at the same time, it shows that people are uncomfortable with it. 

But really, floors are made for walking. If your brand new floors can’t handle foot traffic, talk to your installer if these are the floors that should be used when people walk on them. Are they unfinished southern white pine or something?

[rhian]

I'm confused by people who think it's grosser to be barefoot inside. Do what you want in your own home, but this is objectively not true! The ground outside is dirty af and when you wear shoes inside, you bring all that into your home. Even Southern Living thinks you should take your shoes off! www.southernliving.com/shoes-off-inside-house-8553503

Also, nothing says "I don't have any Asian friends" more than "no one I know takes their shoes off at home" lol

[felicity]

For some reason I think more people in FL might not take as kindly to this as in some other places, because FL lol. I'd guess it depends on the crowd coming?

I don't think I know anyone who wears shoes in the house where we live, so I wouldn't expect it to be a problem here. It's more of a cultural, germ, and cleanliness thing than because of the weather here. I've included it on an invite once when we were having people I didn't know well.

We regularly host family that includes elderly and they still take their outside shoes off because they don't wear shoes in their own homes either.

[rhian]

Sept 23, 2024 8:40:50 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

Sept 23, 2024 8:33:19 GMT -5 heygrey said:

Cue the Canadians who are horrified this is even a question. Of course you can ask people to take their shoes off. If you need to give them a heads up, do that.

Serious question: what do older Canadians do? My house in shoe free, however my parents and grandma need the support shoes give and/or have a hard time taking shoes off/putting them on. So they are the only people who wear shoes in my house.

Not Canadian, but my parents put a bench by their front door to sit on for putting shoes on/off. My dad has indoor shoes that he changes into for support. We don't have space for seating in our entryway but put a folding chair there when my parents visit.

[mofongo]

Sept 23, 2024 12:04:13 GMT -5 rhian said:

I'm confused by people who think it's grosser to be barefoot inside. Do what you want in your own home, but this is objectively not true! The ground outside is dirty af and when you wear shoes inside, you bring all that into your home. Even Southern Living thinks you should take your shoes off! www.southernliving.com/shoes-off-inside-house-8553503

Also, nothing says "I don't have any Asian friends" more than "no one I know takes their shoes off at home" lol

I def don’t think it’s gross, it’s just not my preference, I don’t like to be barefoot. H and I do have house shoes, I have some thick slide type shoes that are super comfortable and he has a pair of flip flops. They’re not the kind of shoes you’d wear in public 😅 

Asian households are the only times I’ve taken shoes off in a home in New Orleans, I have zero issue with that.

[mommyatty]

Sept 23, 2024 11:04:10 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Sept 23, 2024 10:07:55 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Yes. I do wear shoes in the house. In part because while I’ve never had a doctor tell me not to walk around with shoes on in my house, I’ve had several doctors tell me not to walk around barefoot where other people are walking around or have walked around barefoot. I’m kind of grossed out when I have to take off my shoes in other people’s houses unless I knew ahead of time and can protect my feet with socks or slippers. I also pay for TSA Pre-Check so I don’t have to be barefoot in the airport.

I def never learned that in medical school! What is the reason for not walking around barefoot in your house where others also walk around barefoot?

Also, I feel like unfortunately cultural competency is lacking in medical and health education. In many cultures and religions it is common practice to take off shoes to enter homes and houses of worship. So to tell someone it will make you sick or is gross to take off your shoes is really out of touch with people’s lives.

Really? You never learned about Athlete’s foot fungus? In most cultures where it’s common to take off shoes, it’s also common to have other shoes you change into indoors. We have a lot of Asian friends and none of them walk around barefoot indoors. They all change into indoor slippers and most have a basket of indoor slippers for guests by the door.

[wanderingback]

Fwiw, we used to host big type parties like 25+ people (and often it spread by word of mouth so people we didn’t directly invite would show up) and no we did not ask everyone to take off their shoes, we wouldn’t even have room for people to put that many shoes. Plus we’re going to have to clean up afterwards anyway so the cleanliness aspect doesn’t matter.

But if we’re having 10 or less people over, which are most likely very close friends or family for a regular hang out, yes we do kindly ask they take off their shoes. Most people are already on their way to taking off their shoes anyway before we say anything.

Plus, now that we have a baby/toddler people often ask where they can wash their hands when they come over. Win win!

[mcsangel2]

I'd hate being asked to take off my shoes. It's uncommon where I am (AZ), and the only two households I've ever been asked to remove them had owners from other regions (NJ), and the rest of H's family is also from NJ and they don't take shoes off indoors.

Plus, H has had issues with athlete's foot off and on for years, so I'm not having him track it all over the house barefoot!

[cjcouple]

Yes, its off putting.

We don't remove shoes in my house because 2 of the 4 of us (DH and DS2) have plantar fascititus and it's painful to walk barefoot. I also dont like walking around. someone else's home barefoot or in stocking.

I agree that it sounds like your not ready to host. I'd make another plan.

[wanderingback]

Sept 23, 2024 12:22:34 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Sept 23, 2024 11:04:10 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

I def never learned that in medical school! What is the reason for not walking around barefoot in your house where others also walk around barefoot?

Also, I feel like unfortunately cultural competency is lacking in medical and health education. In many cultures and religions it is common practice to take off shoes to enter homes and houses of worship. So to tell someone it will make you sick or is gross to take off your shoes is really out of touch with people’s lives.

Really? You never learned about Athlete’s foot fungus? In most cultures where it’s common to take off shoes, it’s also common to have other shoes you change into indoors. We have a lot of Asian friends and none of them walk around barefoot indoors. They all change into indoor slippers and most have a basket of indoor slippers for guests by the door.

Yes I’ve learned about athlete’s foot. I meant to give the advice to tell people to not walk around barefoot in your house. My whole specialty is about preventive care, so I def have had a lot of education and learning on "general advice" to people based on their age and health conditions and that being barefoot just has never come up as a specific health related advice to give to the general public. But maybe in other part’s of the country that advice is more needed since you said multiple doctors have mentioned it? There are definitely regional variations to some public health advice.

[dexteroni]

I don’t wear shoes inside my house, but I don’t ask that of guests, and especially not at a dressier get together (not that baby showers are dressy, but you mentioned there may be high heels). If you are going to require it, *please* include it in the invitations and remind people when they RSVP. Showing up and then being asked to remove my shoes without notice is the worst possible option.

If you really can’t bring yourself to allow shoes inside your house for two hours, then I would say don’t have it there. What if someone drops a bowl or slides a chair? Those can do just as much damage than a shoe, if not more. An event where the host is hovering about and worrying over her new floors isn’t fun for anyone. So even though a house shower is what the guest of honor wants, hosting elsewhere is probably best for you and the other guests.

[noodleoo]

Sept 23, 2024 11:47:13 GMT -5 jobae1234 said:

Yes, I would be put off. For one thing I wear custom orthotics so there’s a medical/pain issue at play. For another I don’t want to walk around someone else’s house barefoot unless I know them well.

My unpopular opinion is that people who are ultra rigid about shoes on in the house shouldn’t host parties.

So like all Canadians and Asians shouldn’t have parties?

LOL I knew this thread would get heated. It always does when this topic comes up. People need to step outside their self centered bubbles.

We’re Indian/Asian and shoes are not worn in our house for cultural reasons. I do warn new people when they come over. If someone has a problem with it, we probably aren’t meant to be friends anyway because I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who can’t respect other cultures. And yes, we have plenty of parties.

[Deleted]

As a guest, I’d absolutely remove my shoes if expected to, but I do get a lot of foot pain if I stand for too long in bare feet (or even stocking feet) so I’d hope for adequate seating. I would probably not want to wear guest slippers that had been worn by others.

At home we are mostly a shoes off house. Kids in our neighborhood always take shoes off when going into houses. I mean, adults do too, but we have way more random kids coming in and out. If someone asks if we’d like them to remove shoes, we tell them it’s their choice. If they don’t ask for our preference, I assume they’re more comfortable keeping shoes on and don’t ask them to be removed. We do have a few people like C’s tutor or my guitar teacher who come to the house and wear shoes, and I wouldn’t dream of asking them to take their shoes off. But they also take about ten steps in to the dining room on hard floors that are cleaned very often.

Ultimately, while I get that shoes worn outside are gross and bring in germs and dirt, we just resign ourselves to cleaning frequently. If we obsessed about every germ that came into our house, we’d go crazy, so we do what we can to reduce risk by cleaning. We’ll never eliminate every single source or dirt or germs, so we try not to get too obsessive about it.

If we had a party (which, lol, we’re introverts, we don’t have parties), we would allow guests to choose shoes or no shoes, and we’d clean thoroughly both before and after.

[mofongo]

Sept 23, 2024 12:29:39 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Sept 23, 2024 12:22:34 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Really? You never learned about Athlete’s foot fungus? In most cultures where it’s common to take off shoes, it’s also common to have other shoes you change into indoors. We have a lot of Asian friends and none of them walk around barefoot indoors. They all change into indoor slippers and most have a basket of indoor slippers for guests by the door.

Yes I’ve learned about athlete’s foot. I meant to give the advice to tell people to not walk around barefoot in your house. My whole specialty is about preventive care, so I def have had a lot of education and learning on "general advice" to people based on their age and health conditions and that being barefoot just has never come up as a specific health related advice to give to the general public. But maybe in other part’s of the country that advice is more needed since you said multiple doctors have mentioned it? There are definitely regional variations to some public health advice.

It’s definitely a thing, my PCP has recommended not being barefoot to me as well. Supportive shoes are part of the treatment for plantar fasciitis. I imagine having supportive shoes is good for many physical issues. This is why I have a large Birkenstock collection!

[somersault72]

Another vote for if you feel that strongly about people not wearing shoes in your home, don't host. And this is coming from someone who doesn't wear shoes in people's homes. You got enough feedback from people WTFing this that it seems offputting.

[tacokick]

I don’t know anyone who isn’t shoes off at home at this point in my life.

I normally bring grippy socks in colder weather and my husband sometimes brings supportive indoor only shoes if we are going to be there a long time or doing a lot of standing because of his feet issues.

No shoes doesn’t mean no socks if you are scared of athlete’s foot or whatever.

[pixy0stix]

Sept 23, 2024 12:04:13 GMT -5 rhian said:

I'm confused by people who think it's grosser to be barefoot inside. Do what you want in your own home, but this is objectively not true! The ground outside is dirty af and when you wear shoes inside, you bring all that into your home. Even Southern Living thinks you should take your shoes off! www.southernliving.com/shoes-off-inside-house-8553503

Also, nothing says "I don't have any Asian friends" more than "no one I know takes their shoes off at home" lol

I really hope people aren't using antibacterial soap in their home all the time to clean their floors like this article suggests. This is how superbugs form!

Cleaning with regular whatever floor cleaner should be fine.

[starburst604]

Sept 23, 2024 12:55:14 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Sept 23, 2024 11:47:13 GMT -5 jobae1234 said:

Yes, I would be put off. For one thing I wear custom orthotics so there’s a medical/pain issue at play. For another I don’t want to walk around someone else’s house barefoot unless I know them well.

My unpopular opinion is that people who are ultra rigid about shoes on in the house shouldn’t host parties.

So like all Canadians and Asians shouldn’t have parties?

LOL I knew this thread would get heated. It always does when this topic comes up. People need to step outside their self centered bubbles.

We’re Asian and shoes are not worn in our house for cultural reasons. I do warn new people when they come over. If someone has a problem with it, we probably aren’t meant to be friends anyway because I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who can’t respect other cultures. And yes, we have plenty of parties.

I don't enjoy taking off my shoes and exposing my usually cracked/dry feet at someone's house, but I absolutely do it without issue when it's cultural. If I am going to an Asian person's home, I know to expect it and will plan accordingly. But when it's Germaphobe Gerri saying no shoes on the wood floor at a party, I can't help but roll my eyes because they're going to need to clean the floors of dropped food and spilled drinks after anyway.  I know that's not the thing here, it's the new floors and I can understand not feeling quite ready for a scuff to potentially appear that quickly. I have just been holding this barefooted grudge since suffering through that NYE party with freezing feet that hadn't seen a pedicure in months lol. 

Side note here that living in New England, I absolutely wouldn't walk into someone's house with snowy/muddy/wet boots though. That's a no-brainer. 

[jinkies]

Wow you guys are really passionate about shoes.

I will do whatever the host tells me and never think about it again. But if I don't know the host I would prefer a heads up so that my bare feet are party-ready (either making sure I'm wearing nice socks, or have a pedicure). I think just having something on the invitation that says "Please be aware that we are a no-shoes house" would be completely sufficient.

If there is a situation like an elderly relative who needs the stability of shoes, hopefully either the guest of honor can let them know to bring house shoes, or you can be flexible if there isn't a safe way for them to remove their shoes at the door.

[wanderingback]

Sept 23, 2024 13:00:22 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Sept 23, 2024 12:29:39 GMT -5 wanderingback said:

Yes I’ve learned about athlete’s foot. I meant to give the advice to tell people to not walk around barefoot in your house. My whole specialty is about preventive care, so I def have had a lot of education and learning on "general advice" to people based on their age and health conditions and that being barefoot just has never come up as a specific health related advice to give to the general public. But maybe in other part’s of the country that advice is more needed since you said multiple doctors have mentioned it? There are definitely regional variations to some public health advice.

It’s definitely a thing, my PCP has recommended not being barefoot to me as well. Supportive shoes are part of the treatment for plantar fasciitis. I imagine having supportive shoes is good for many physical issues. This is why I have a large Birkenstock collection!

Yeah for people who have foot problems. It’s def never been on any lists I’ve seen for general public health re: athlete’s foot.

The whole shoe thing seems to go back and forth re: support in the general population (not people with problems). Some "experts" say shoes are better and others argue that shoes make our feet less stable so better to be barefoot at home. Who knows!

[sent]

Sept 23, 2024 12:27:54 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

I'd hate being asked to take off my shoes. It's uncommon where I am (AZ), and the only two households I've ever been asked to remove them had owners from other regions (NJ), and the rest of H's family is also from NJ and they don't take shoes off indoors.

Plus, H has had issues with athlete's foot off and on for years, so I'm not having him track it all over the house barefoot!

I grew up in NJ taking my shoes off at every random person's house where my parents took us. As someone mentioned above, this is an Asian family thing of which my parents and 100% of their friends back in the day were all Asian-Indian.

These threads are always funny. 

[lavenderblue]

I can't speak for my "region" but in my family and circle of friends, no one has a no-shoes rule in their house. I'm actually sitting at my desk right now wearing my sneakers, and I've already gone out once today to take my dog to the Vet and I'm running to the market in a little bit. If I'm wearing dressier shoes, I generally take them off and put on slippers, but that is more of a comfort thing than anything else. I have 3 dogs and they are tracking who knows what in to my house, so I just clean regularly. It's not like I'm eating off of the floor, and I don't have small children so crawling on the floor isn't an issue.

All of that to say, I would be off-put if I showed up someone's house and they asked me to remove my shoes. If I knew in advance I'd be fine with it, but most of the time I don't wear socks, and I would feel weird being barefoot in someone else's home, especially someone that presumably I don't know very well.

[gummy]

I live in a dry climate, but with a very high population of Asians so it's very common to remove shoes here. Outside shoes in the house is disgusting no matter how you want to spin it.

[laurack]

If it’s snowy out usually we remove our snow boots at the door but during normal life we all wear shoes in the house. Most people around here don’t seem to ask you to remove shoes. If they do I of course take the shoes off but I prefer to wear shoes partly because I have lame feet/ankles and walking barefoot causes my tendonitis to flare up. In my house if I take off my shoes I pop on a pair of crocs to walk around in.

So I think no shoe rule is fine but give a heads up maybe (although the heads up may also make you look uptight so people might get a weird vibe from the invite)

[wildrice]

I personally would not want to buy flooring that people can't walk on without damaging it. That seems highly impractical - if people leave scuffs, can't you just clean them?

I am a shoes off household and generally take my shoes off in others' houses just because it feels so odd to be wearing them indoors. I also prefer being shoeless. HOWEVER if someone comes over and asks if they should take their shoes off, I always say "totally up to you!" and have never asked someone to do so. The idea of shoes on my carpets/rugs grosses me out (hard flooring less so since you can easily mop) but I figure I'm running into gross stuff everywhere all the time, so I try to just not think about it. Certainly I don't want someone to be uncomfortable or have disability related problems as a guest in my home.

I will say that the bottom of most peoples' shoes is going to be much more gross than most animal feet. Unless your pets walk around in public bathrooms where there is likely pee on the floor, walk around city streets or public transit, businesses, etc.

To answer the actual question - I think with only 10 people I would just give them a heads up ahead of time and they can plan accordingly. Maybe ask the guest of honor if they are aware of any disability/pain issues that might be a problem for any of their guests and figure out something to accommodate that person. If it's only a 10 person guest list, I'm guessing they will know them all well enough to be able to weigh in on that.

[vamoose]

To me, a party is different than a casual hang out. I’m happy to take my shoes off when just hanging out (and have many times in shoe free houses), but even those homes have not asked guests to remove shoes for parties. They just clean their floors and shampoo their rugs after the party. I would be happy to take my shoes off for a party if necessary but would definitely want a heads up to plan my outfit accordingly.

[icedcoffee]

Being worried about athlete's foot in someone's house is a ridiculous stretch. Come on guys. LOL

We're a shoes off household. I don't mind being asked to take off shoes. I do like a warning though because like once it was the dead of winter and I was wearing ballet flats so my feet were cold AF.

We personally don't ask people to do it at our house for large parties. Unless we had a party in a snow storm or huge rain storm. Then I'd leave towels at the door and expect them to remove them.

[smock]

I don't know any "shoes on indoors" households in my corner of the PNW. As someone who prefers being barefoot, that's fine with me!

And yes, guests often bring indoor slippers/flip-flops or indoor-only shoes over to people's houses. My parents often show up with a reusable grocery bag full of slippers. At this point, I'd legit be confused if someone told me to leave my shoes on in their house.