Post by lust2hart on Sept 26, 2024 11:21:36 GMT -5
I don't know... I see why everyone is saying to tell John and then stay out of it, but OP is basically a witness to a crime at this point, don't you think? If Susie had told OP that she'd stolen $15k from someone OP didn't know, wouldn't we advise OP to go to the police?
Don't get me wrong, I would certainly WANT to tell John and then stay out of it, but I wonder if that's actually the most-right thing to do.
As all of this has been rolling around in my brain, I've been thinking this too. Which somehow makes it even worse.
Are you being misled as well? Like potentially the custody of kids and mom health and various other whoa is me stories are part of this web she's weaving.
That's a possibility. Our mutual group of people have been ready to step back from Susie because of lying, whoa is me, etc, this was just the nail in the coffin so to speak.
Post by wanderingback on Sept 26, 2024 11:25:59 GMT -5
The other factors don’t matter. I’m very liberal and hate the family regulation system cause it’s so fucked up but that has nothing to do with the fact that she stole from an individual, and from someone that trusted her. Plus she admitted to it. If she stole from the government or something I might feel different lol.
It sounds like OP was friends with Susie. Not sure if they have a relationship with John at all. I would say OP could potentially go straight to the police herself. That way, there is no John going to confront Susie and her mom. She could even ask that her report be kept anonymous from Susie and others.
Other thoughts: How much money is even left if the point was to use it to gamble while on vacation? I wouldn't worry about Susie's mom's health. We had a guy embezzle a lot of money here and they chose not to take him to trial because of his health, so it could even work out in her favor being in poor health. I would let the officials make that call. I am skeptical if police would even do anything or even if you are in the right jurisdiction, but at least if you report it you know you did all you could. John has other options like suing Susie in civil court for the money, right? So even if there is no criminal repercussions, he still has civil lawsuit options.
I would 100% report where the money is to the police if John goes that route, I would tell John that if he does make a report you have information you could provide.
IDK why but I am pausing at telling John directly. I get that he is the victim here but I would be concerned he would attempt to retrieve the money himself or that I would get tangled in the middle of their mess. To be clear, I would ultimately tell him because it's the right thing to do, but telling the police would be the scenario I am most comfortable with.
Post by rosiebear on Sept 26, 2024 12:11:53 GMT -5
It doesn’t matter where the money is. It could have gone up her nose, but it’s still theft and should be reported as such if John wants to do that.
If you think John might pressure the mom to hand it over instead of going to the police, I definitely would not advise that. He needs to either report it as theft or let it go.
Are you being misled as well? Like potentially the custody of kids and mom health and various other whoa is me stories are part of this web she's weaving.
That's a possibility. Our mutual group of people have been ready to step back from Susie because of lying, whoa is me, etc, this was just the nail in the coffin so to speak.
Okay, not the point, but it’s “woe is me”
Susie is a thief and not setting a good example for her kids.
Post by shopgirl07 on Sept 26, 2024 12:30:05 GMT -5
What does it matter where the money is? If she won’t give it back, and he doesn’t have access to whatever account it’s in, then he can’t get it. Unless you’re suggesting the money is under a mattress and he should go steal it back.
What does it matter where the money is? If she won’t give it back, and he doesn’t have access to whatever account it’s in, then he can’t get it. Unless you’re suggesting the money is under a mattress and he should go steal it back.
Yes I assumed OP was talking about cash because she mentioned the money has traveled to different places but is currently in the U.S. So telling John where Susie and the money is means John could likely have an easier time getting it back/reporting the theft to the police if that is what he wants to do.
What does it matter where the money is? If she won’t give it back, and he doesn’t have access to whatever account it’s in, then he can’t get it. Unless you’re suggesting the money is under a mattress and he should go steal it back.
The reason I mentioned it crossed state and international lines is because I wondered if that created a more complex crime that maybe made it Federal and if I were to report it, would I report to where the crime took place or where the money currently is? I'd definitely not suggest John go retrieve the money for safety reasons.
If Susie moved back in with her mom after breaking up with John, I think it would be pretty obvious to John both where the mom lives and where the cash might be anyway. He just wouldn't have confirmation of it.
What does it matter where the money is? If she won’t give it back, and he doesn’t have access to whatever account it’s in, then he can’t get it. Unless you’re suggesting the money is under a mattress and he should go steal it back.
The reason I mentioned it crossed state and international lines is because I wondered if that created a more complex crime that maybe made it Federal and if I were to report it, would I report to where the crime took place or where the money currently is? I'd definitely not suggest John go retrieve the money for safety reasons.
Report where the crime took place. They'll pass it on if needed.
how does a cash advance on a credit card work? Did she go to a bank with his credit card and walk out with $15k in cash??
I think you request it through the CC's online account and they deposit it into your bank account. She must have been able to do this because they were mingling their finances.
I would tell John, and then stay out of it. I don't think anyone owes Susie anything here- I'm sorry about her circumstances, but 15k is a LOT of money and it's never ok to steal (it's not ok to steal money, period, but I'd be a lot less pressed about $150 or even $1500 but 15k is several month's paychecks for most people so I would call that very serious).
I don't think I'd personally report it to any criminal agencies since I'd just be reporting hearsay and it's not my circus, not my monkeys so I really don't want to be legally involved.
Post by dexteroni on Sept 26, 2024 13:26:21 GMT -5
Yeah this is fraud and theft. I wouldn’t be surprised if Susie preyed on John to get access to his money and then split. I would report everything I knew to whatever authority needed to know it. Don’t leave out anything you think might not be relevant; that’s for them to judge. They’ll know what information is useful to them and what to do with it. Does John have an attorney? They can probably advise him on how any witnesses should proceed.
I would never speak to Susie again and would cut off all means of contact - block her phone number, all social media, etc. I will admit that I would be worried about being called to testify in a trial since Susie isn’t opposed to issuing threats. But I’d still do it. I feel for her kids for multiple reasons, but that doesn’t mean she should get away with this.
Post by livinitup on Sept 26, 2024 13:34:28 GMT -5
If Susie loses custody of her kids it’s because she is terrible at fraud and theft and really bad at covering her tracks. She’s got a good sob story, but that only gets you so far, Susie.
This is going to upset people, but there is no way of proving that the $15K is Susie’s mother’s sock draw is the same $15K distributed from John’s credit card. And out-of-state law enforcement/police are not going to knock on Susie’s mother’s door and investigate and find the envelope of cash and then handcuff Susie and bring to the station and book her. Where she doesn’t get released pending trial, so CPS shows up, deems the grandmother unfit and gets a judge to grant a foster care placement. Cops aren’t knocking on her door, Susie is not letting anyone in, a judge is not issuing a warrant to search the apartment on the word of an ex-boyfriend.
”I gave that money to him before I left town!” Prove her wrong. What conversation with the OP?
John can make trouble for her and maybe, maybe if she has a warrant out, she can can get picked up on THAT charge. But this he said/she said story. Nah.
John got robbed by a ex-girlfriend. Not even by a good thief.
He should change all of his passwords and the locks on the apartment.
If Susie loses custody of her kids it’s because she is terrible at fraud and theft and really bad at covering her tracks. She’s got a good sob story, but that only gets you so far, Susie.
This is going to upset people, but there is no way of proving that the $15K is Susie’s mother’s sock draw is the same $15K distributed from John’s credit card. And out-of-state law enforcement/police are not going to knock on Susie’s mother’s door and investigate and find the envelope of cash and then handcuff Susie and bring to the station and book her. Where she doesn’t get released pending trial, so CPS shows up, deems the grandmother unfit and gets a judge to grant a foster care placement. Cops aren’t knocking on her door, Susie is not letting anyone in, a judge is not issuing a warrant to search the apartment on the word of an ex-boyfriend.
”I gave that money to him before I left town!” Prove her wrong. What conversation with the OP?
John can make trouble for her and maybe, maybe if she has a warrant out, she can can get picked up on THAT charge. But this he said/she said story. Nah.
John got robbed by a ex-girlfriend. Not even by a good thief.
He should change all of his passwords and the locks on the apartment.
Post by ellipses84 on Sept 26, 2024 14:25:14 GMT -5
You are getting different stories from both of them and I think the police are going to take it as “he said, she said.” He can choose to contact the police or take her to small claims court. You don’t need to go out of your way to do anything more unless asked by authorities. You don’t know if he’s lying about anything and everything that has happened either unless you have witnessed it. I know toxic people like this, and I’ve learned that if you get involved, you get burned, and the best thing you can do is distance yourself from all of it, unless you are 💯 sure this dude was an innocent bystander who was horribly scammed by your friend and won’t recover without your help and you want to help.
Unless you saw the money with your own eyes, I wouldn’t assume anything you know is correct tbh
These people seem messy. He doesn’t need to know where the money is to try and get the police to help so if he wanted to do that, I’d think he’d be doing that already? I would also think the obvious place it would be if it wasn’t with her, would be her mother. People aren’t that smart or creative.
You are getting different stories from both of them and I think the police are going to take it as “he said, she said.” He can choose to contact the police or take her to small claims court. You don’t need to go out of your way to do anything more unless asked by authorities. You don’t know if he’s lying about anything and everything that has happened either unless you have witnessed it. I know toxic people like this, and I’ve learned that if you get involved, you get burned, and the best thing you can do is distance yourself from all of it, unless you are 💯 sure this dude was an innocent bystander who was horribly scammed by your friend and won’t recover without your help and you want to help.
Most crimes are a "he said, she said" until the police starts to investigate and gather evidence. For example, since the card is in John's name and if John gave no authorization and they aren't married, then Susie will have a hard time proving John gave it to her.
I want to emphasize this point because my grandma didn't want to go to the police when some man pretending to be from the phone company entered her home and demanded money. My grandma played the dumb old lady card and said her son kept all her money (a lie) so the guy would leave ASAP. She didn't want to go to the police because she said she had no proof the guy came. I told her she didn't have to prove to the police this happened. Report it and let them investigate and corroborate similar testimonies.
This all feels really messy. I would stay out of it.
He can go to the police and pursue legal action without your involvement (or knowing where the money currently is).
In contrast, inserting yourself and saying that mom is holding $15K could go terribly wrong. What if he decides to confront her (or even threaten or menace her) to try and get the money back? Men who feel wronged emotionally and financially may not be level headed.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I don't think there is anything for you to do here. John is the victim and he knows that Susie is the one who took the money. I'm not sure what there is for you to report that isn't already known.
It is on him to report the crime.
If you really wanted to insert yourself, you could tell John that you'd be willing to testify to your conversation with Susie.
But otherwise I would just stay out of it. It's not your place to report it if John doesn't want to. And if he *does* want to, he already has all the information he needs.
I’m curious to know how you know where the money is. Unless you saw it with your own eyes, like recently, you might not really know?
I dunno. I don’t think you have anything to lose by telling John. “Susie told me where the money is. I have no idea if she was being truthful, or if the money is still there, if it was even there to begin with. I’m happy to talk to police about my convo with her.”
Where the money is now or what Susie’s sob story is doesn’t remotely matter. The crux is: Susie took John’s card and withdrew $15,000. Was she allowed to do that or no?
I do not believe she had permission from John to do this for 100 reasons, but that’s not your job to figure out.
Post by HRH Queen Dick I on Sept 27, 2024 10:08:14 GMT -5
What in the Jerry Springer is this mess.
ETA: Credit to followyourarrow for saying she washed her hands of this person when so many of you give the benefit of the doubt in the messiest of situations. Now please stick to it, forget they ever existed.
Post by followyourarrow on Sept 27, 2024 10:33:56 GMT -5
Minor update - John called last night. I encouraged him to work with his credit card company and local law enforcement. I told him that I can no longer be involved in the situation and that I'm no longer dealing with Susie. He said he'd think about it, but he's worried about what it will do to Susie's kids, he's still hoping Susie will do the right thing. I'm honestly hoping I never hear about the situation again, but if I do, I'll keep you posted. I appreciate you all giving your two cents and helping me think through what the right thing is.