Thursday Randoms

[snowflurry]

Oct 24, 2024 9:51:01 GMT -5 jinkies said:

Question for folks with older kids:

DS just got his driver's license this week. Did your kids start paying for a lot more of their own stuff once they were driving themselves?

DS has worked for few years and has his own money. But I still paid for things like his haircuts and clothes and dinner after an activity bc I was with him. We have never done an allowance.

When your kid started driving themselves, how did you handle paying for things? He doesn't need to pay for his own haircuts yet, and every Thursday night he picks up dinner on his way home from an activity. I was thinking of having him add the app for the restaurant he usually goes to, and loading my payment info? I don't make dinner on Thursday nights bc DD also has an activity so it's every man for himself. But we've always paid since we are with them.

Idk. How do other people handle this?

When DS turned 16, I bought him a nice truck with the stipulation that he needed to get a job.  Once he got a job, he had two options (1) pay $200/month towards his car insurance or (2) pay for gas and other incidentals (ex. activity with a friend, fast food, random things I wouldn't normally buy him).  Normal driving habits cost him maybe 1 tank of gas a month (so about $40).

Knowing that if he stays under $200 for all his incidentals makes him feel like he is saving money by choosing the second option.  That visual has helped him understand and keep up with budgeting.  He now thinks about whether its worth a tank of gas to constantly be driving his friends everywhere or if he really wants that mcdonalds run.

[majique]

Oct 24, 2024 9:51:01 GMT -5 jinkies said:

Question for folks with older kids:

DS just got his driver's license this week. Did your kids start paying for a lot more of their own stuff once they were driving themselves?

DS has worked for few years and has his own money. But I still paid for things like his haircuts and clothes and dinner after an activity bc I was with him. We have never done an allowance.

When your kid started driving themselves, how did you handle paying for things? He doesn't need to pay for his own haircuts yet, and every Thursday night he picks up dinner on his way home from an activity. I was thinking of having him add the app for the restaurant he usually goes to, and loading my payment info? I don't make dinner on Thursday nights bc DD also has an activity so it's every man for himself. But we've always paid since we are with them.

Idk. How do other people handle this?

My 16 year old DD has a debit card for her bank account. However, she’s going to Ireland with school next summer and we don’t like paying for things with debit. We use credit and pay it off each month. So we made her an authorized user in our credit card and got her her own card. She pays for things with that and if it’s something I think she should pay for I transfer the money from her bank account to mine, but I rarely do that. She pays for gas and food and that kind of stuff with the credit card. It should supposedly help establish her credit too. It’s worked out great.

[EvieEthelGarland]

I don't know about the money thing with my 16yo. We're feeling it out as we go along. I got him a card that I pay and so far it has not been an issue for things like gas and some stuff at school. He's gotten very into fishing this summer and we've paid a few hundred for gear and called it his birthday gift. If he was still playing soccer we'd be paying for that so we're ok with it. He has bought a lot of his own gear as well. As someone traumatized by uniforms as a kid, I care more about his clothes than he does so if he's smart, he'll continue to play into that and let me pay for his clothing.

He is wanting to get a job in the new year so we'll see how things change if he does.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Oct 24, 2024 9:49:43 GMT -5 bbdoll said:

Oct 24, 2024 9:36:46 GMT -5 calamity said:

I'm worried about DS15. It is his friend's birthday that passed away. He texted me that he was crying in school. He's hanging out with (in my opinion) these jocky asshole "popular" kids. He has expressed how hard it would be to switch friend groups and I think that's keeping him in it. Lots of toxic 'bro' culture.

I'm going home early and taking him out on a hike to get outside for a little. I wish I could make it all easier for him

Maybe tell him to go the guidance counselor.  I know my daughter has went there to cry in private before.

My daughter too. She loves “her office” as she calls it

[followyourarrow]

I go home tomorrow from my work trip. This has been a rough one. 12-13 hour days, lots of learning, and if I'm not learning, I'm teaching. There's been some really rough conversations about what is going on with my boss. My boss's boss is coming to my location in a few weeks and promised he'd take care of it, but I'm not sure how much faith to put into it. One of the higher ups flat out told me that they're shocked I've lasted as long as I have because of my boss. On one hand I appreciate that he understands it's tough, but on the other, wtf, they know my boss is a problem and have done nothing.

I work in manufacturing and it's very much a man's world. I got asked to go out on the manufacturing floor yesterday, which is totally fine with me. I put on my steel toe shoes, a hard hat, ear protection, and eye protection. I asked a few questions while I was out there and helped them try to problem solve what was going on. One of my coworkers told me he was surprised that I went out there and actually knew what I was doing. I'm still mad about it.

Stepdaughter isn't healing with her knee and ankle. The ortho wants her to get an MRI but the soonest they can get her in is 2 weeks. That seems insane. FI is offshore and stepdaughter has some executive functioning issues and isn't capable of doing all of this herself. So I'm trying to help with all this from out of town.

In summary I'm tired and overwhelmed.

[fluffycookie]

jinkies, DS isn't driving yet (still has his permit), but he works and has a debit card that can be used at stores/restaurants. Typically we pay for the essentials - shampoo, conditioner, groceries, clothes, haircuts, etc and he pays for anything extra - going out with his friends, extra snacks. There have been times that we have split/shared costs for things. He needed a new goalie helmet last spring and wanted to have it wrapped so we paid for the helmet and he paid for the wrap.

[tacokick]

I ordered a half bushel of my favorite apples really cheaply from this place that sells & distributes food from local farms mostly to restaurants but also regular people with a fairly high minimum order. I had to order a ton more produce to make that minimum so if anyone needs a winter squash…

At least I got them and don’t have to keep looking for them. Soon enough I will have my annual tangerine hunt to deal with lol

[beerlover]

It's an absolutely gorgeous (cooler, 66 degrees as opposed to 80 the past two days) day here in central PA today and the leaves are beautiful. I've been sneaking away from my desk for as many walks as possible.

We're getting some HVAC work done right now, just a couple upgrades to make our old-ass boiler safer. The boiler itself is in great condition though. I knew this work was going to be about 1K, and I was fine with that when I accepted the quote, and then we ended up having to spend money on a bunch of other shit so now I'm dreading the bill. Fun times especially when the holidays are approaching.

H has something for grad school tonight. That makes 4 nights in a row he's had something in the evening and I've had to do the pickup, dinner, homework, shower, bedtime stuff. I am increasingly annoyed and told him as such. Maybe I'll do what I did last Friday tomorrow and go to the bar for 6 hours and escape again, lol (jk, I probably won't..).

[bbdoll]

Oct 24, 2024 12:55:44 GMT -5 beerlover said:

It's an absolutely gorgeous (cooler, 66 degrees as opposed to 80 the past two days) day here in central PA today and the leaves are beautiful. I've been sneaking away from my desk for as many walks as possible.

We're heading to Knoebel's this weekend with another family.  It's looking like the weather will be gorgeous all weekend, if not chilly at night.

[emilyinchile]

Oct 24, 2024 12:53:33 GMT -5 tacokick said:

I ordered a half bushel of my favorite apples really cheaply from this place that sells & distributes food from local farms mostly to restaurants but also regular people with a fairly high minimum order. I had to order a ton more produce to make that minimum so if anyone needs a winter squash…

At least I got them and don’t have to keep looking for them. Soon enough I will have my annual tangerine hunt to deal with lol

Ha! I remember your struggles last year - hoping you get them easily and on the first try this time, but please bring us along for the frustrating-yet-wholesome ride again this year if not.

[beerlover]

bbdoll, have fun! Should be great weather for that. I've never been to Knoebels. Where I grew up we were about 2 hours from both Kennywood and Hershey so always did those for trips as a kid.

[dancingnancy]

DD has one week left of drivers ed and her teacher told her last night that she is not ready for the driving test 😥 DD has anxiety and due to long wait lists in our area I signed her up over a year ago. I thought this would be a good way to have her face her anxiety and learn ways to cope, face fears, etc. there were a lot of tears after her driving time with her teacher last night and wanting to quit. I told her she would see the next week through and if she fails she fails, but my heart breaks for her. She has such low self esteem and this is not helping.

[emilyinchile]

Oct 24, 2024 12:55:44 GMT -5 beerlover said:

H has something for grad school tonight. That makes 4 nights in a row he's had something in the evening and I've had to do the pickup, dinner, homework, shower, bedtime stuff. I am increasingly annoyed and told him as such. Maybe I'll do what I did last Friday tomorrow and go to the bar for 6 hours and escape again, lol (jk, I probably won't..).

Girl, I feel you. H has started working at least 3 days a week (sometimes more) at a time that means at least dinner, dog walk, bath and bedtime are on me. It's work, and I support him, but I am definitely feeling a little run down. Last night Cookie peed inside because L was exhausted, and I decided to take the risk of an accident over trying to get a toddler and a new dog out the door for the usual after dinner walk.

And I don't know about you, but if he's gone for the whole evening then I at least enjoy having some alone time once L is in bed. But H "conveniently" gets home right about when I'm leaving L's room, ready to interact. Worst of both worlds!

[tacokick]

Oct 24, 2024 12:59:39 GMT -5 emilyinchile said:

Oct 24, 2024 12:53:33 GMT -5 tacokick said:

I ordered a half bushel of my favorite apples really cheaply from this place that sells & distributes food from local farms mostly to restaurants but also regular people with a fairly high minimum order. I had to order a ton more produce to make that minimum so if anyone needs a winter squash…

At least I got them and don’t have to keep looking for them. Soon enough I will have my annual tangerine hunt to deal with lol

Ha! I remember your struggles last year - hoping you get them easily and on the first try this time, but please bring us along for the frustrating-yet-wholesome ride again this year if not.

Will do. I’m just glad that my summer produce tastes are easier so I get a break.

Although, it was harder than usual to find a nectarine this year…

[cjcouple]

Oct 24, 2024 9:51:01 GMT -5 jinkies said:

Question for folks with older kids:

DS just got his driver's license this week. Did your kids start paying for a lot more of their own stuff once they were driving themselves?

DS has worked for few years and has his own money. But I still paid for things like his haircuts and clothes and dinner after an activity bc I was with him. We have never done an allowance.

When your kid started driving themselves, how did you handle paying for things? He doesn't need to pay for his own haircuts yet, and every Thursday night he picks up dinner on his way home from an activity. I was thinking of having him add the app for the restaurant he usually goes to, and loading my payment info? I don't make dinner on Thursday nights bc DD also has an activity so it's every man for himself. But we've always paid since we are with them.

Idk. How do other people handle this?

I pay for clothes and haircuts and any takeout we get as a family or if I'm getting a coffee, I pay for us both. But if he is going out with his friends, he uses his money mostly.

I do get and suggest gift cards to others for bday and christmas tonlkcws he goes: Chilis, movies, coffee shop, KFC (he loves it).

[rootbeerfloat]

Oct 24, 2024 9:51:01 GMT -5 jinkies said:

Question for folks with older kids:

DS just got his driver's license this week. Did your kids start paying for a lot more of their own stuff once they were driving themselves?

DS has worked for few years and has his own money. But I still paid for things like his haircuts and clothes and dinner after an activity bc I was with him. We have never done an allowance.

When your kid started driving themselves, how did you handle paying for things? He doesn't need to pay for his own haircuts yet, and every Thursday night he picks up dinner on his way home from an activity. I was thinking of having him add the app for the restaurant he usually goes to, and loading my payment info? I don't make dinner on Thursday nights bc DD also has an activity so it's every man for himself. But we've always paid since we are with them.

Idk. How do other people handle this?

I added DS to a credit card, so he uses that to pay for food, etc. He doesn't have a job yet (working on it), but also doesn't have a very active social life, so he mainly uses the card to purchase food for himself and/or the rest of the family, which I'd be paying for anyway.

He still likes me to take him to his haircuts. And I usually get gas at Costco, which he can't do, so I'm trying to figure that one out. He could go to non-Costco stations (and has), but Costco is so much cheaper.

[maudefindlay]

DS2 left for the 8th grade trip to DC yesterday early AM. Unlike DS1 we are actually getting photos....of monuments. I asked him to be sure to get in some photos (meaning have someone else take a photo of him and him and his friends)....so now we are getting so bad they are good selifies...in front of monuments. He is so sweet.

[1confused1]

jinkies probably not helpful, but I pay for everything. My son doesn’t have a job and my daughter won’t make enough at her job to really contribute anything. I’m fine with it. After they are 18, that may be different.

[beerlover]

Oct 24, 2024 13:10:07 GMT -5 emilyinchile said:

Oct 24, 2024 12:55:44 GMT -5 beerlover said:

H has something for grad school tonight. That makes 4 nights in a row he's had something in the evening and I've had to do the pickup, dinner, homework, shower, bedtime stuff. I am increasingly annoyed and told him as such. Maybe I'll do what I did last Friday tomorrow and go to the bar for 6 hours and escape again, lol (jk, I probably won't..).

Girl, I feel you. H has started working at least 3 days a week (sometimes more) at a time that means at least dinner, dog walk, bath and bedtime are on me. It's work, and I support him, but I am definitely feeling a little run down. Last night Cookie peed inside because L was exhausted, and I decided to take the risk of an accident over trying to get a toddler and a new dog out the door for the usual after dinner walk.

And I don't know about you, but if he's gone for the whole evening then I at least enjoy having some alone time once L is in bed. But H "conveniently" gets home right about when I'm leaving L's room, ready to interact. Worst of both worlds!

Sorry you can relate! That's definitely tough! Your kid is much younger than mine too. I did a lot of solo parenting when my H was a high school principal in DS's younger days and I must have blocked it out or something, lol.  My 8 year old is pretty easy overall now, but its a pain in the ass getting him to do homework and stuff sometimes.  He also doesn't get very tired so while I do get some couch time after he goes to bed, he frequently comes back downstairs or is loudly playing upstairs so it doesn't feel like true relaxation!

I feel the same way when H comes home and wants to go on about his grad school class or his classmates or something - dude, I just want to be silent now, ha.

[1confused1]

Tomorrow is my Friday off, it is amazing how much that has helped my mood!

[cjcouple]

I just fell carrying laundry in my basement. I dont think there is anything serious wrong. I am shaky and sore on my arm but I can move it easily. ugh.

[beerlover]

I just got a notice from our HVAC company that our bill that was due Oct 20th is 4 days over due. No sir, it is not. I have a screenshot saying I paid on October 14th, and also a screenshot of the money coming out of my bank account. This is why I always keep receipts.

I know mistakes get made, but this type of stuff annoys me and I will be on edge until they reply and say nevermind, you're right.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Oct 24, 2024 12:59:39 GMT -5 emilyinchile said:

Oct 24, 2024 12:53:33 GMT -5 tacokick said:

I ordered a half bushel of my favorite apples really cheaply from this place that sells & distributes food from local farms mostly to restaurants but also regular people with a fairly high minimum order. I had to order a ton more produce to make that minimum so if anyone needs a winter squash…

At least I got them and don’t have to keep looking for them. Soon enough I will have my annual tangerine hunt to deal with lol

Ha! I remember your struggles last year - hoping you get them easily and on the first try this time, but please bring us along for the frustrating-yet-wholesome ride again this year if not.

I’ve said it before, but I’d watch a reality show starring tacokick. Always something interesting going on 🤣

[meanie]

I am stalking our Amazon delivery, DD needs a hospital gown for her drama club haunted house tonight and it's on a truck somewhere...I'm going to be running to Spirit Halloween if it doesn't get here in time 😭

ETA - DD came home in a panic at 3 because she apparently needed to get ready (thing starts at 6) and go back to school. She then informed me that they could either go home to get ready or bring in the costumes to school and get ready there - which means she knew all about this before hand and didn't tell me. Cue me running around like a maniac grabbing first aid kit stuff, cutting up an old tshirt and making it bloody, and throwing makeup at her. OMG kid.

So I guess I will be returning the Amazon order after all that.

[maudefindlay]

tacokick 'n It. Yes, I'd watch that. Who will write the theme song? I really want those to come back.

[lavenderblue]

Oct 24, 2024 9:51:01 GMT -5 jinkies said:

Question for folks with older kids:

I pay for everything for my kids (17DD and 16DS). They both have a credit card as an authorized user on my account. They don't really spend a lot of money other than maybe snacks or the occasional fast food. Even if they worked, I wouldn't make them pay for anything like haircuts, clothes, toiletries, etc. As long as their in high school I won't make them work (they can if they want, but I don't push for it). I figure they have their whole lives to pay and work for things. 

[noodleoo]

Oct 24, 2024 12:53:33 GMT -5 tacokick said:

I ordered a half bushel of my favorite apples really cheaply from this place that sells & distributes food from local farms mostly to restaurants but also regular people with a fairly high minimum order. I had to order a ton more produce to make that minimum so if anyone needs a winter squash…

At least I got them and don’t have to keep looking for them. Soon enough I will have my annual tangerine hunt to deal with lol

What kind of apples? 

We got to a local farm every year and I'm disappointed in the varieties they were picking this year (honeycrisp, ludacrisp and empire).  Last year the apples we got were so good, we ate 10 lbs of apples in like 2 weeks!  This year they are sitting in the fridge and no one wants them.  Which led to me finding this hilarious website that ranks apple varieties.  I do not agree with their rankings, but it was amusing.  Apparently I'm in the minority in not liking honeycrisps.  

applerankings.com/pick-an-apple/

[lavenderblue]

Oct 24, 2024 14:27:45 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Oct 24, 2024 12:53:33 GMT -5 tacokick said:

I ordered a half bushel of my favorite apples really cheaply from this place that sells & distributes food from local farms mostly to restaurants but also regular people with a fairly high minimum order. I had to order a ton more produce to make that minimum so if anyone needs a winter squash…

At least I got them and don’t have to keep looking for them. Soon enough I will have my annual tangerine hunt to deal with lol

What kind of apples? 

We got to a local farm every year and I'm disappointed in the varieties they were picking this year (honeycrisp, ludacrisp and empire).  Last year the apples we got were so good, we ate 10 lbs of apples in like 2 weeks!  This year they are sitting in the fridge and no one wants them.  Which led to me finding this hilarious website that ranks apple varieties.  I do not agree with their rankings, but it was amusing.  Apparently I'm in the minority in not liking honeycrisps.  

applerankings.com/pick-an-apple/

I am dying at that list because my kids will absolutely house a bag of Golden Delicious LOL

[noodleoo]

Oct 24, 2024 14:31:50 GMT -5 lavenderblue said:

Oct 24, 2024 14:27:45 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

What kind of apples? 

We got to a local farm every year and I'm disappointed in the varieties they were picking this year (honeycrisp, ludacrisp and empire).  Last year the apples we got were so good, we ate 10 lbs of apples in like 2 weeks!  This year they are sitting in the fridge and no one wants them.  Which led to me finding this hilarious website that ranks apple varieties.  I do not agree with their rankings, but it was amusing.  Apparently I'm in the minority in not liking honeycrisps.  

applerankings.com/pick-an-apple/

I am dying at that list because my kids will absolutely house a bag of Golden Delicious LOL

Same!  Their writeups are hilarious.  We love lots of "shit apples" including McIntosh and Autumn Glory. And the ones we got at the farm last year that everyone loved were JonaGold.

[tacokick]

Oct 24, 2024 14:27:45 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Oct 24, 2024 12:53:33 GMT -5 tacokick said:

I ordered a half bushel of my favorite apples really cheaply from this place that sells & distributes food from local farms mostly to restaurants but also regular people with a fairly high minimum order. I had to order a ton more produce to make that minimum so if anyone needs a winter squash…

At least I got them and don’t have to keep looking for them. Soon enough I will have my annual tangerine hunt to deal with lol

What kind of apples? 

We got to a local farm every year and I'm disappointed in the varieties they were picking this year (honeycrisp, ludacrisp and empire).  Last year the apples we got were so good, we ate 10 lbs of apples in like 2 weeks!  This year they are sitting in the fridge and no one wants them.  Which led to me finding this hilarious website that ranks apple varieties.  I do not agree with their rankings, but it was amusing.  Apparently I'm in the minority in not liking honeycrisps.  

applerankings.com/pick-an-apple/

Stayman-Winesap! My grandfather was a big fan too and would get a bushel and store them on the (enclosed) steps of his basement apartment all fall/winter.

They used to be pretty easy to find but like you said, the honeycrisp and their spin offs have taken over. They are fine but I think other varieties are more complex.

I did find winesap at a farm stand but they aren’t quite as good.

I never agree with the apple ranking guy but he does seem to reflect the market.