If you married your HS sweetheart

[Jalapeñomel]

I had to experience sex with more than one person, so it wasn't for me.


But I did get married young and have been married for 20 years. It was a lot of work...we had a lot of growing up to do, individually and together. Some days I'm surprised we have made it this far.

[twinmomma]

I did. It was stupid. We're divorced now. He was my only boyfriend and I was his only girlfriend. After graduating high school we went to the same college, got engaged at 20, married at 23, had kids at 25, divorced at 32. I didn't realize how much he cut me off from the world and how much I missed out on during all those formative years because I was so busy "playing house" and fast forwarding my life to get married and have kids until I was divorced and free from it. (Not saying I regret my kids AT ALL but I was a baby having babies when I look back)

[heygrey]

Not high school, but H and I were each other's first serious relationship. Met at 18 and married at 21/22. We've been married almost 16 years and have a great relationship. We have a solid friendship and partnership that carries us through the crappier parts of adulthood. I would choose him again today.

But my god, we were babies and had no business making those kind of decisions at that age. We are both very different people now than we were then and we are just damn lucky that we changed in the same direction. Sometimes we reflect on the early years of our marriage and it's like looking at two completely different people in a different relationship.

Even though it has worked out well for us, we will absolutely encourage DS to date and experience life more before settling down.

[jinkies]

Oh hi. We broke up while I was in college, so we both had other dating experiences, but we got back together after running into each other at a party a few months after I graduated and returned home.

Our 21st wedding anniversary was last week.

I don't think our marriage has been any harder than average, but I do attribute the college-years breakup to helping us not feel restless as we got older.

ETA: I think my son is a similar age as yours and he dated his first girlfriend for a year. I honestly thought they would likely be together at least through high school. They were both serious, mature kids and I couldn't imagine something dramatic happening. He was all in until he wasn't... I was completely shocked when they broke up. So you never know, even if they seem serious now, things change so quickly with teenagers.

[TR]

Other view - I definitely thought I was going to marry my HS boyfriend. We were on and off into college and didn't fully break up until I was 24. So just because he feels that way now doesn't mean he always will. That first love is so, so intense.

[W.T.Faulkner]

I have a cousin whose fourteen year-old daughter just started at the high school where I work now. There's a dance tomorrow night, and I'm not sure if she's bringing a date, but I did remind both of her parents that if she does, they can't dismiss it -- they've been together since THEIR freshman year of high school.

The older I get, the more wild it is to think about.

[HRH Queen Dick I]

Oct 25, 2024 10:14:52 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Is your son talking about getting married? omg

Holy fuck YES. It's WHEN not IF. They've got baby names picked out and he's open to converting to Catholicism, although I told him he doesn't need to convert to get married in the church.

She's sweet and gentle (so, not like us 😂), sings in the church choir, does well in school, wants to be a lawyer, so that's all good.

But she's a senior so we shall see how it plays out if they are still together when she goes to college.

I guess the gist is that sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. I can't cope though.

[pinkdutchtulips]

I didn't as I barely dated in HS. The people I know who DID marry their HS sweetheart, ended up divorced in their late 30's/early 40's.

It was wild as we were all getting divorced at the same time. They were lamenting 'missed opportunities' ex - going AWAY to college, moving AWAY, dating other people, exploring other interests. I did all those things (I also got married at 32) so I just nodded my head grateful I got to do all of that before marriage.

I, for a brief time, lived in a town where it was expected for girls to marry their HS sweetheart, maybe go to a JC to kill time before kids but when kids came it was time to be a sahm and live in the same town they grew up in. It drove me bonkers bc that's NOT how I was raised nor how I lived - growing up in 3 different places across the country, NOT having a HS sweetheart, going AWAY to school, having a career before getting married, and once married and having a kid continue to work.

[mrsslocombe]

HRH Queen Dick I, if you are looking for a glimmer of hope...I was convinced I was going to marry my high school boyfriend. We were together from 16-21. I went to college 4 hours away, and we survived long distance for awhile. And then some life stuff happened, he fell for a coworker and dumped me to be with her.

My high school classmates that got married never went away for college. They either didn't go at all, or went to a local school so they were never apart from their partner. So hopefully they will choose a school based on fit/program/etc vs where their partner is.

[brooke77]

Both of my siblings married their HS sweethearts.

My sister - They have been together for nearly 30 years and have 3 kids. She was in school for a long time (doctor) and he didn’t get education beyond HS. He is a stay at home dad. They never broke up and he pretty much followed her around during her education/career. I LOVE my BIL, but I am not sure if they would have chosen each other as adults. They have very different personalities and life goals. They fight a lot. I truly believe they are deeply in love, but mismatched. IMO they will be together forever, but I think if they had chosen life partners as non-teens, they would not have chosen each other and been happier.

My brother - They have also been together for nearly 30 years, but broke up in college for about 8 months. They are both professionals with 1 kid. They are extremely well matched and I think they belong together/have grown together. I adore my SIL and think my brother was lucky to find “his person” so young. I also think they will be together forever, happily.

I would have never ever ever married my HS BF and laughed when he thought we would end up together.

[shauni27]

Oct 25, 2024 10:27:30 GMT -5 sproctopus said:

If I had, I'd be spending a lot of money on the prison phone system and possibly featured on Dateline. It's embarrassing enough to be married to a man in 2024, but a good reminder that it could always be worse.

I am dead. 

[cville]

I know 3 people who did. The 2 who are still together each didn't make any commitments or life plans based on one another. Like, chose the best college/first job for them and if it was close or far or whatever, so be it. They specifically resolved/planned not to get married until mid 20s at earliest. 1 actually ended up at the same college.

The 1 I know who didn't just was living her life and her HS boyfriend was the tail on her kite for years. I met her in college and our group of friends all saw it as like, dude, get a life, and she saw it as romantic devotion. He is a nice person but had nothing of his own and didn't seem to want to DO or not do anything other than be around her. Eventually, she realized they were together out of habit.

[spindle92]

I went to school with this obnoxious couple who started dating in junior high and always said they would get married.
Well they did, literally hours after our High school graduation ceremony.
They grabbed their diplomas and headed to the court house.
Both sets of parents were there and supported them, it was all weird.

and no she was not pregnant.

They are still married but they are those people who post all this lovey-dovey shit on social media. so we are all pretty sure they each have a side piece or two.

[ellipses84]

My sister kind of did… It was not her long term HS boyfriend but the guy she dated the last part of Sr year and married right after graduation. Now after 30 years of marriage he’s having a mid-life crisis and they are getting an ugly divorce 🥀

Previous to this they always said they never had any regrets. They waited a long time to have kids, so while they didn’t go off to college and have their single 20s, they did have fun in their 20s and both completed masters degrees+ educations while working, which was easier to do as a team (with none of our parents being able to pay for college).

[HRH Queen Dick I]

Oct 25, 2024 10:17:00 GMT -5 mcmel said:

We recently divorced and it’s been so wonderful.

Wait what. I haven't followed your story. Your divorce is wonderful because it's amicable or you're just happy to be divorced.

[mcmel]

Oct 25, 2024 12:28:04 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I said:

Oct 25, 2024 10:17:00 GMT -5 mcmel said:

We recently divorced and it’s been so wonderful.

Wait what. I haven't followed your story. Your divorce is wonderful because it's amicable or you're just happy to be divorced.

Both, but mainly I love not being married to that man lol.

[joy]

I married my college boyfriend. We messed around junior year (20 years old), dated senior year and the year after (21 - 22 years old), then broke up. We were entirely too young to be so serious.

I can’t describe it well, but there was a feeling of being “home” when I was with him. I felt safe, happy, loved, appreciated, and calm. That feeling was always there - from when we started dating, during our time broken up, and it’s still there now.

We tried to be adults, but when he called me to say he started dating someone else (~25 years old) something broke inside me. I told him that I was happy for him on the phone, but a few hours later I was a MESS. I called him and spilled how I really felt. He said “Okay, thank you. I have to go now.”

…24hrs…

He called me the following night. “I broke up with her. I’m coming to you this weekend.” I hadn’t seen him in long time by that point. We met up a friend’s wedding and basically ran across a hotel lobby to each other. It was that *feeling* of being home that made me go back.

Another guy just never made me feel that way. But, I am glad that I looked to see if anyone else could before getting married.

[rosiebear]

Dick, I feel your pain. My daughter isn’t as young (she turned 23 last week) but she is wildly in love with her very first boyfriend, and they are looking to get married as soon as he graduates. I would prefer that she date other people before deciding. But I also realize this is not my call.

I did marry my high school sweetheart, and it was a total fucking disaster, lol. On the other hand, two of my sisters also did and have been married for about 50 years. And the other other hand, I married and then divorced my kids dad when I was well into my 30s, so it goes to show you never can tell.

[kdubs923]

Oh hey. Started dating sophomore year. Stayed together through the rest of high school and part of college. Broke up for a couple years, so we both dated other people. Ran into each other on Christmas Eve at a CVS running last minute errands. Stood in the deodorant aisle and talked for like 2 hours. We exchanged numbers. I had been seeing someone at the time, broke up with him, and was back with the high school ex by New Years Eve lol

Once we were back together, we dated for a very long time. We wanted to finish school, get settled in our careers, get a house, etc so we only actually got married at 28. Next month makes 13 years married.

Our marriage is not in a good place and I spend a lot of time reading the newly separated/divorced thread and dream of better days lol. Someday...

So TLDR, it works for some. I would not consider us a success story at the moment LOL

[killercupcake]

I will also add that we were not an unusual story in our circle and of the 12 or so couples that I know of who did this , I’d say about 2/3s were split within 5 years. So the odds weren’t great. Lol

[mysteriouswife]

H and I have been together since I was 15 and he was 17. We broke up for a few months and decided to try again. The rest is history.

We didn’t take the high school year seriously. We still had our friend groups and did our own thing a lot. It helped we went to different schools in different counties. We would see each other once or twice a week. Once I graduated we got more serious and moved in together. We broke up and I moved back home. The time apart really made us closer. We got married when I was 21. Had DD at 22.

Twice we had WTF are we doing moments. We worked it out and seem to be doing well. 18 year anniversary was last week


ETA: we were not each other’s first relationship or sex partners.

[eb777888]

My H didn't technically marry his HS sweetheart, but he was 19 when he married his ex. He said there's nothing their parents could say to talk them out of it, and it actually caused a rift between him and his dad because his dad knew he was making a mistake and would not let up (they divorced a few years later). Honestly, it would be SO HARD to keep my mouth shut in this situation. I have no idea what I'd do. Maybe it'll fizzle out when she goes to college. These things often do. So he's still a junior?

[wanderlustmom]

Three of my best friends from college married their high school sweethearts and are still happily married and we are all about 50.

[pugz]

I will say what was key for my husband and I meeting at 19 (summer after freshmen year) was that we didn't go to the same college. We were miles apart as he was in Cleveland and I was in Arkansas. We saw each other when we both came home for holidays and breaks and flew to see each other once per semester and once over the summer when we were in different cities then. Did this for 3 years while dating and then engaged. Married right after college graduation which was very common in my Christian college circle!

We had completely separate social lives and stayed busy with school stuff but talked every night on the phone and sent emails...and probably some AIM messages too, lol. He was the reason I got my first cell phone because calling cards were so expensive! I called him after whatever the time was when calls became free in the evenings, lol.

[fangoriagurkel]

rubytue I would like to buy two tickets to the movie premiere of your life / courtship! That was a fabulous story, and the Russian palm reader was the cherry on top!

[sdlaura]

DH and I are close friends with two couples who are high school sweethearts and in very good marriages in their mid- to late 40s. These are people who went off to great colleges in other cities, got married in their early 20s, and then pursued ivy league MBAs for the husbands (that's how we all met was in the guys' MBA program) and a doctorate of physical therapy in another city for one of the wives. So not a meet and stay in same small town where they grew up sort of situation (not that there's anything wrong with that). That would be my fear with a high school sweetheart marriage is just that my kid would miss out on things they would have done otherwise as young, unattached people, but it didn't feel like our friends really did miss out on much.

Personally, DH and I met post college and after dating other people, and I can't imagine having married my high school boyfriend. But it worked for our friends.

[1confused1]

My parents. Still married, will celebrate 55 years in 2025.

I dated my high school boyfriend from my junior year of high school to my junior year of college. I was convinced we were going to get married. Then he dumped me and it was one of the best things to happen.

My son was dating a girl who just left for college and they ended up breaking up. High school/college relationships are hard to hold on to.

[bee20]

My sibling and my partner's sibling both met their partners in middle school, but didn't date until their 20s.

I understand none of this, I never met anyone before the age of 25 that I felt like dating. I would have wondered if I was asexual if I knew that term existed, but turns out I just don't like immature guys, plenty were attractive when we were all order.

[sequins]

Oct 25, 2024 11:15:53 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I said:

Oct 25, 2024 10:14:52 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

That's simultaneously adorable and horrifying!!

[DotAndBuzz]

My parents did. Coming up on 50 years in July. My dad tells me all the time he has NO IDEA how/why my mom went out with him (she was the popular girl, on HOCO court, etc), he was brand new to the school his senior year. They're a year apart, so he went to college, and I know she went to dances with other guys, but then she went to the same college as him, and they got serious then I guess. I think his frat brothers also were like "dude, she's multiple levels out of your league, how did you get her to date you?" But here we are - they're mostly pretty happy. More-so now that they have a little cottage on a lake 45 minutes from their house where my dad can go to putter, and my mom can get some peace and quiet when he leaves, lol.

H and I are college sweethearts - met at 19. I dated other guys, but with him it just felt different literally from the 1st date. I knew the 2nd date I was going to marry him. Thankfully I didn't let him in on that personal "revelation" any time soon, lol. We broke up for a couple months before our senior year of college, and his mom tells me he was miserable, so she was like...um, then ask her to take you back? He did and we got married 3 years post-college. With the exception of a few hellish years during his training (with 2 kids under age 4), we've been pretty happy.