MOOKS: How would you feel about this?

[somersault72]

I think your DD's response was hilarious (and insightful). She was talking to her friend. IMO it wasn't the teacher's business. My oldest is very funny but sometimes doesn't know time/place (he also has ADHD), so while there are plenty of teachers that appreciate him and his humor he's had a few in middle/high school (especially middle) that did not care for him. That is the type of message I would have expected one of those teachers to send to him.

The message was inappropriate and it sounds like she doubled down instead of acknowledging that. It was kind of her to send the message about her ballet, maybe that's her version of an apology. Hopefully she gets through the rest of the year without any more negative messages from her.

[Covergirl82]

Oct 26, 2024 12:47:47 GMT -5 abs said:

For me it’s the title of the message. “I heard what you said.” Like is this a sequel to a 90s teen movie? That just seems so off. I can’t get past it to respond on any of what happened after.

This is what I was thinking as well.  I had to reread it at least once to make sure it really was the title of the message.  I am not pleased about the tone of the message either, but the tone of the message title is very aggressive, IMO.

[kath16]

i know i'm late to this thread, but i hate the idea of private messaging between teachers and students on principle. that email would have sent me directly to my kids principal on the next business day.

also i am clearly not ready for middle school and would like to keep my kids in elementary forever.

[abs]

The Schoology direct message doesn’t bother me too much. It’s no different than email which students/teachers use all the time. At least my DD does. She will set up tutoring sessions or get clarification on an assignment all the time. No big deal. It’s just the title. I’m still giggling about it honestly. It sounds like a good update though and I’m glad your DD is happier today!

[redheadk]

Oct 28, 2024 13:00:48 GMT -5 abs said:

The Schoology direct message doesn’t bother me too much. It’s no different than email which students/teachers use all the time. At least my DD does. She will set up tutoring sessions or get clarification on an assignment all the time. No big deal. It’s just the title. I’m still giggling about it honestly. It sounds like a good update though and I’m glad your DD is happier today!

It makes me uneasy that she took advantage of a method that I cannot access because I feel like she crossed a line beyond what a parent would reasonably expect their child to receive. While logically I know that the vast majority of teachers are safe people, not all of them are and this definitely brought some of that reality to my doorstop even closer than before (my niece attends the HS with the teacher that was trafficking students so this has already come up in our family recently). At the same time, it’s important that students can access safe people if they need them. Dd and I talked about this as well and why I did not request admin cc for all of her teachers, just this one. While I hope that she always feels like she can come to me or another adult she’s close to, I don’t want to take that avenue away from her or other kids, either. She knows that not everyone has a stable home with parents that will stand by them.

[abs]

redheadk I get it!! PDQ but DD is zoned to the high school you referenced so I truly get it. It’s a scary world and your fears are valid. These schools are so big and it’s easy to have something fall through the cracks. I honestly treat DD’s school stuff like I do her phone. Go through it as necessary. I have her Schoology password and will log in if grades slip or something else seems off. I would have done the same thing as you!

[redheadk]

Oct 28, 2024 12:55:56 GMT -5 kath16 said:

i know i'm late to this thread, but i hate the idea of private messaging between teachers and students on principle. that email would have sent me directly to my kids principal on the next business day.

also i am clearly not ready for middle school and would like to keep my kids in elementary forever.

Despite this, middle school has actually been pretty great overall. Dd has really blossomed as a motivated, responsible person. Her teachers have done a great job helping the kids navigate the changes from elementary to middle, including study skills, time management, how to plan ahead, etc. If Dd has a class/teacher she doesn’t love, it is just a short part of her day then she gets to move on to the next. This teacher is truly a 180 to all the rest of her teachers. I basically make her a lunch and get her to/from school with a very occasional request for special materials for a project. There is very little for me to do, she’s got it. I was nervous, too!

[meanie]

Oof the tone and method of the message are both super unprofessional. Using a direct message to reprimand a student instead of speaking with them directly feels....too personal? Not loving that at all.

However, if your DD was overheard making a flippant comment and the teacher is upset - yes, she owes the teacher an apology. I am guessing that the informal setting of the class lends itself to kids goofing around more and the teacher/student respect level needs to be revisited. This is a great opportunity for your DD to rise above the teacher's poor reaction and address things in the way you wish the teacher had - in person and without anger.

[lo]

I’m a teacher and can’t imagine getting so riled up over those flippant remarks. I’ve been cursed up and down and called basically every name in the book, lol. Totally agree the email was awful and unprofessional and it made me uneasy to read.