Thursday Randoms

[CurlyQ284]

I burned out and really pulled back to just my state. I can't do much about every problem everywhere. I have zero impact on Gaza or Ukraine, but I can do stuff in my own state. ((Hugs to everyone struggling today))

[rubytue]

Nov 7, 2024 10:19:44 GMT -5 bears said:

Nov 7, 2024 9:33:09 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

.

Living in an informed place of rage and anxiety didn't help a soul. I need to figure out how to navigate the future, but I'm dedicating my time to focusing on what I can control in life and choosing joy..

OMG this. Granted, I learned my lesson with the 2004 election. But that is such a good description of it. And yeah, I need to back down from what little I do now. Which I think I’ll stick to nightly news and one paper, that I read mostly for advice columns. I had to tell me friend to stop texting me stuff Monday because of the anxiety.

[ssmjlm]

DH thanked me for planning our weekend away last night. I know it's not much, but I'm thankful he recognizes that part. It was such a fun weekend and we had a great balance of being on the go and having down time for all of us.

I needed a little bright spot in the middle of so much...

[maudefindlay]

followyourarrow definitely go talk to big boss ASAP. You need to figure out what is best for you ND makes the most sense for you. You took this job with the impression that boss would retire and you would take his role, not that he would go part time and you'd do his role, but still essentially be number 2 for an indefinite amount of time. You do the job you need the title and the pay and a clear transition plan. You two have very different work styles and he is going to drive you bonkers.

jane6672 you are right and she is wrong.

Happy Anniversary gummybear!

emilyinchile congrats and I hope your new project is a good fit for you.

[wildrice]

Nov 7, 2024 10:39:40 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

I'm also trying to distract myself with random house tasks I've been putting off, and I have a random stupid question.

How do you dispose of dead plants? I had 2 mums in planters on our front doorstep that have bit the dust (I can't keep anything alive for more than a week, I swear). In the past I've dumped them in our big toter garbage can, but we have new rules and can't have any 'loose' garbage in the cans anymore. It seems, I don't know, weird and extra unenviromentally friendly to take out a garbage bag and use extra plastic to throw away a dead plant. We have a wooded area in our back yard...can I just toss them back there and let them naturally decompose? That is what we've done with other organic matter like the jack-o-lanterns after Halloween, but then there was stuff circulating about how the pumpkins AREN'T actually good for wildlife to eat because it's not part of their usual diet, and they give off methane as they decompose, etc. etc.

In my city, you can buy brown paper bags at places like Lowes and then fill them with yard waste and they are picked up on recycling day. Your town likely has something like that - what do you do with weeds or other yard debris?

I think we can also get a plastic can from the city that is specifically for yard waste, but I haven't personally done that since storage is an issue for my townhouse.

[lucybrown]

I liked a bunch in solidarity, not because I like what you (we)'re experiencing. I'm right there with you.

[maudefindlay]

This morning I volunteered as cashier at our middle school's book fair. The librarian said now that the kids cannot have their phones on themselves they are talking more to each other and they are louder. She wasn't wrong! I had 4 big groups come thru, they were all pretty good. When it was over I loaded up on books etc for stocking stuffers.

In the midst of these terrible times I did have something very nice and unexpected happen. A month or so ago an acquaintance (mother of a friend of DS1) approached me about something and was really rude and aggressive about it. On Tuesday out of nowhere she called and apologized. Made no excuses and let me know it had been weighing on her. Very sincere and genuine. I forgave her and really appreciate that she did that. I'm still in the avoiding the news stage, but this gave me some light in all this darkness. I'm so glad she called.

[calamity]

maudefindlay, sometimes those little rays of light are what can help us carry through ((hugs))

[circa1978]

Last night I thought, at least my dad didn't live to see Trump president again. Then this morning I realized that my mother is very unlikely to live to see a woman president. Maybe I won't. I need more butter.

[Susie]

Nov 7, 2024 7:01:22 GMT -5 fernweh said:

I don’t follow them but a bunch of Sesame Street posts have been showing up on my instagram feed. I find them oddly comforting.

I recently started following Sesame Street on IG even though my kids are aging out of that bracket because they consistently hit the right notes and yes, it's really comforting.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Nov 7, 2024 11:00:50 GMT -5 wildrice said:

Nov 7, 2024 10:39:40 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

I'm also trying to distract myself with random house tasks I've been putting off, and I have a random stupid question.

How do you dispose of dead plants? I had 2 mums in planters on our front doorstep that have bit the dust (I can't keep anything alive for more than a week, I swear). In the past I've dumped them in our big toter garbage can, but we have new rules and can't have any 'loose' garbage in the cans anymore. It seems, I don't know, weird and extra unenviromentally friendly to take out a garbage bag and use extra plastic to throw away a dead plant. We have a wooded area in our back yard...can I just toss them back there and let them naturally decompose? That is what we've done with other organic matter like the jack-o-lanterns after Halloween, but then there was stuff circulating about how the pumpkins AREN'T actually good for wildlife to eat because it's not part of their usual diet, and they give off methane as they decompose, etc. etc.

In my city, you can buy brown paper bags at places like Lowes and then fill them with yard waste and they are picked up on recycling day. Your town likely has something like that - what do you do with weeds or other yard debris?

I think we can also get a plastic can from the city that is specifically for yard waste, but I haven't personally done that since storage is an issue for my townhouse.

We do have yard waste pick up days once a month, but it's contentious in my town because it's on a weekend morning, and then they often just don't come when they're supposed to, so people leave the bags out, and then they get picked up by the regular garbage so people complain about how they are trying to recycle the yard waste and following directions and it still doesn't happen. 
We have landscapers who bag the grass and when they weed/trim, those go into the back of their truck.  I'm sure they'd let me throw my dead mums in there too, but I never know when they are coming.  I do have brown yard waste bags in the garage from before we moved so I could try to recycle them at least though.

[devonpow]

Nov 7, 2024 10:39:40 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

I'm also trying to distract myself with random house tasks I've been putting off, and I have a random stupid question.

How do you dispose of dead plants? I had 2 mums in planters on our front doorstep that have bit the dust (I can't keep anything alive for more than a week, I swear). In the past I've dumped them in our big toter garbage can, but we have new rules and can't have any 'loose' garbage in the cans anymore. It seems, I don't know, weird and extra unenviromentally friendly to take out a garbage bag and use extra plastic to throw away a dead plant. We have a wooded area in our back yard...can I just toss them back there and let them naturally decompose? That is what we've done with other organic matter like the jack-o-lanterns after Halloween, but then there was stuff circulating about how the pumpkins AREN'T actually good for wildlife to eat because it's not part of their usual diet, and they give off methane as they decompose, etc. etc.

your town doesn’t do yard waste pick up? Ours does from may through December - you just need to put it in a brown lawn bag or special container from the town. I toss all old plants in that. You can also add them to compost

[Roc A Bee]

Due to my sadness yesterday, I purchased another Christmas tree. That brings the house total to 6. And I don’t give a fuck.

[jinkies]

DS has to write an essay on overcoming a challenge as part of a summer program application.

He asked me to edit his draft. It's a good start, but needs so much more detail, and some better organization. I am really struggling with how to provide constructive feedback without just completely rewriting it.

I don't know how English teachers do it.

[sunshineandpinot]

Hosting a few parties and as much as it kills my tree hugging heart, I think I want to put out the nicer disposable "linen" hand towels. Does anyone have a rec with a holder? Like this, but wtf is this $140?? (yes, I know, frontgate)

www.frontgate.com/frontgate-resort-collection-26trade-3b-personalized-vanity-trays/bed-bath/resort-collection/20938?isCrossSell=true&strategy=2214&cm_vc=CartOverlay>mPageName=May%20We%20Suggest-PDP

[tacokick]

Nov 7, 2024 11:16:21 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

Nov 7, 2024 11:00:50 GMT -5 wildrice said:

In my city, you can buy brown paper bags at places like Lowes and then fill them with yard waste and they are picked up on recycling day. Your town likely has something like that - what do you do with weeds or other yard debris?

I think we can also get a plastic can from the city that is specifically for yard waste, but I haven't personally done that since storage is an issue for my townhouse.

We do have yard waste pick up days once a month, but it's contentious in my town because it's on a weekend morning, and then they often just don't come when they're supposed to, so people leave the bags out, and then they get picked up by the regular garbage so people complain about how they are trying to recycle the yard waste and following directions and it still doesn't happen. 
We have landscapers who bag the grass and when they weed/trim, those go into the back of their truck.  I'm sure they'd let me throw my dead mums in there too, but I never know when they are coming.  I do have brown yard waste bags in the garage from before we moved so I could try to recycle them at least though.

Just toss them in the woods! They probably can grow naturally in your area anyway so you aren’t introducing some invasive species.

[lucybrown]

Nov 7, 2024 10:39:40 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

I'm also trying to distract myself with random house tasks I've been putting off, and I have a random stupid question.

How do you dispose of dead plants? I had 2 mums in planters on our front doorstep that have bit the dust (I can't keep anything alive for more than a week, I swear). In the past I've dumped them in our big toter garbage can, but we have new rules and can't have any 'loose' garbage in the cans anymore. It seems, I don't know, weird and extra unenviromentally friendly to take out a garbage bag and use extra plastic to throw away a dead plant. We have a wooded area in our back yard...can I just toss them back there and let them naturally decompose? That is what we've done with other organic matter like the jack-o-lanterns after Halloween, but then there was stuff circulating about how the pumpkins AREN'T actually good for wildlife to eat because it's not part of their usual diet, and they give off methane as they decompose, etc. etc.

I'd 100% toss them in the woods to decompose.  Flowers and potting soil decompose pretty quickly.  You can chop them smaller or mow over them to speed up the process.  This is the most ecofriendly option.

We grow a small pumpkin patch next to our vegetable gardens.  I generally toss the old pumpkins there and they're gone by spring.  They often reseed themselves, which is why I put them where we want them to grow next year.  My other potted plants either get tossed into a flower bed or behind the garage where grass doesn't really grow.  

Also, mums are perennial plants.  If you put them in the ground, they'll come back next year.   

[eb777888]

Nov 7, 2024 11:40:40 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

Hosting a few parties and as much as it kills my tree hugging heart, I think I want to put out the nicer disposable "linen" hand towels. Does anyone have a rec with a holder? Like this, but wtf is this $140?? (yes, I know, frontgate)

www.frontgate.com/frontgate-resort-collection-26trade-3b-personalized-vanity-trays/bed-bath/resort-collection/20938?isCrossSell=true&strategy=2214&cm_vc=CartOverlay>mPageName=May%20We%20Suggest-PDP

Does it have to be a tray specific for this? Home Goods has a variety of fancy-looking mirrored trays like this for cheap (I have one!). I'd measure the size of the hand towels and see if there's something that would work. 

[jamaicam]

wanderingback you are especially in my thoughts at the moment. Your work is so important. Please take care of yourself and hug your baby (who isn't a baby) lots 

[followyourarrow]

Follow up to my earlier post. I did talk to the head boss about compensation and title. He said nothing is changing right now, but yes, as my boss goes part-time and I take over more, they will make changes to my title and salary. Unfortunately there's no timetable to this, so I'm going to have to set an internal end date for putting up with this.

[bex1973]

Nov 7, 2024 11:54:17 GMT -5 lucybrown said:

Nov 7, 2024 10:39:40 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

I'm also trying to distract myself with random house tasks I've been putting off, and I have a random stupid question.

How do you dispose of dead plants? I had 2 mums in planters on our front doorstep that have bit the dust (I can't keep anything alive for more than a week, I swear). In the past I've dumped them in our big toter garbage can, but we have new rules and can't have any 'loose' garbage in the cans anymore. It seems, I don't know, weird and extra unenviromentally friendly to take out a garbage bag and use extra plastic to throw away a dead plant. We have a wooded area in our back yard...can I just toss them back there and let them naturally decompose? That is what we've done with other organic matter like the jack-o-lanterns after Halloween, but then there was stuff circulating about how the pumpkins AREN'T actually good for wildlife to eat because it's not part of their usual diet, and they give off methane as they decompose, etc. etc.

I'd 100% toss them in the woods to decompose.  Flowers and potting soil decompose pretty quickly.  You can chop them smaller or mow over them to speed up the process.  This is the most ecofriendly option.

We grow a small pumpkin patch next to our vegetable gardens.  I generally toss the old pumpkins there and they're gone by spring.  They often reseed themselves, which is why I put them where we want them to grow next year.  My other potted plants either get tossed into a flower bed or behind the garage where grass doesn't really grow.  

Also, mums are perennial plants.  If you put them in the ground, they'll come back next year.   

Was coming to say this. We've done this multiple times and it's always worked well. This year I have 4 that I'm not sure where I want them to live so we planted them in our garden and will move in the Spring.  

[sunshineandpinot]

Please tell me if I should call our ortho practice and apologize. I know we were all a little on edge yesterday and I may have taken it out on the bitchy lady that works in their billing or she may have deserved it. IDK. And for the record, I intend to fully pay my bill. sent maybe you have an opinion

My two daughters and myself are all in Invisalign. Well, one is done. I got my retainer yesterday, and dd#2 has a while.

After our initial exam, the billing lady (idk what I should call her, she handles the payments) came in and said our insurance would cover $2,500 pp so our oop was ~$3650, (per person, x 3) I have this quote at home.

I paid in full for all three of us to get the "cash discount." So it was like $11K, a large amount at once. But it was done. This was June of 2023 and nothing more has ben mentioned.

Yesterday as I'm leaving with my retainer, she gets in front of me, with a bitchy attitude and informs me I have a $1800 balance. I said that was impossible bc we paid in full. She told me clearly not and handled me my statement. I am pissed and not prepared. I got to my car and cannot make sense of the statement. I come back up and ask for an explanation, why we would owe more.
DD#1 $500
DD#2 680
me $620

After a bunch of sighs and highlights she thinks that maybe our deductible is only $2K. Which, after I call, it turns out it is. Yes, this was on me to verify but I don't know where they got the $2500 from. I feel like she owes me an apology for getting this wrong and surprising me with a $1500 bill. (They'll get the remaining $300 from insurance.)

I was pretty pissed and don't know if I should apologize for losing my cool when I go in there to pay or just pay. (which I'm going to use prepaid visa gift cards as debit cards for the CC points and I can't wait to tell her it's against the law to charge a surcharge on debit cards.)

Should I eat humble pie and apologize or pay and be done with it?

[bex1973]

sunshineandpinot, I'd just pay and move on. Sounds like both sides bear some responsibility. She's likely not even thinking about it as much as you are.

[lavenderblue]

Nov 7, 2024 11:40:40 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

Hosting a few parties and as much as it kills my tree hugging heart, I think I want to put out the nicer disposable "linen" hand towels. Does anyone have a rec with a holder? Like this, but wtf is this $140?? (yes, I know, frontgate)

www.frontgate.com/frontgate-resort-collection-26trade-3b-personalized-vanity-trays/bed-bath/resort-collection/20938?isCrossSell=true&strategy=2214&cm_vc=CartOverlay>mPageName=May%20We%20Suggest-PDP

This is the one I use, though it looks like it's currently unavailable. I like that it is simple, and that I can just stick it in a drawer when I'm not using it. 

a.co/d/aEoFF7f  

[TR]

sunshineandpinot - I guess it depends on what you mean by "losing your cool". If you were just curt or abrupt or appeared angry about the situation, I'd just pay and move on. If you raised your voice or called her names or blamed her outright, I'd apologize.

[sunshineandpinot]

Nov 7, 2024 12:14:56 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

sunshineandpinot , I'd just pay and move on. Sounds like both sides bear some responsibility. She's likely not even thinking about it as much as you are.

She said, "It's just a small balance." I said Ma'am $1500 is not a small balance.
I'm still mad lol. I don't like being surprised, especially since I *thought* I had paid in full. 

[expectantsteelerfan]

Nov 7, 2024 12:09:13 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

Nov 7, 2024 11:54:17 GMT -5 lucybrown said:

I'd 100% toss them in the woods to decompose.  Flowers and potting soil decompose pretty quickly.  You can chop them smaller or mow over them to speed up the process.  This is the most ecofriendly option.

We grow a small pumpkin patch next to our vegetable gardens.  I generally toss the old pumpkins there and they're gone by spring.  They often reseed themselves, which is why I put them where we want them to grow next year.  My other potted plants either get tossed into a flower bed or behind the garage where grass doesn't really grow.  

Also, mums are perennial plants.  If you put them in the ground, they'll come back next year.   

Was coming to say this. We've done this multiple times and it's always worked well. This year I have 4 that I'm not sure where I want them to live so we planted them in our garden and will move in the Spring.  

Ok, so say I plant the already dead mums somewhere...do I DO anything after that until next year?  I should probably just google, but even that feels like too much effort.
I seriously can't grow anything and kill everything, usually quicker the more I try.  I had to take out rosebushes from our front bed because I couldn't maintain them.  I'm also allergic to everything, including grass, so I don't spend a lot of time 'gardening' because I end up miserable.  But I COULD dig a hole and stick these mums in the ground and leave them if that means they'll come back next year and they don't need tending to at this point.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Nov 7, 2024 12:30:22 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

Nov 7, 2024 12:14:56 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

sunshineandpinot , I'd just pay and move on. Sounds like both sides bear some responsibility. She's likely not even thinking about it as much as you are.

She said, "It's just a small balance." I said Ma'am $1500 is not a small balance.
I'm still mad lol. I don't like being surprised, especially since I *thought* I had paid in full. 

I would just pay and move on.  Agree that she could have handled it more tactfully since it was totally unexpected, but if she wasn't aware she was catching you off guard she might have just been prepared for someone who was going to try to get out of or at least complain about the bill.  But also agree she probably didn't think anything of it after your interaction.


followyourarrow, it sucks that your boss's boss sprung this on you but without any concrete timeline details.  I'm glad you tried to get clarification, but it really sucks to be put in a position of expecting to take on more of a role without the title and compensation coming with it immediately.  I get wanting to hope that they will compensate you appropriately when the time comes, but I think I'd be looking for a new position too as much as that sucks.

[bex1973]

Nov 7, 2024 12:30:22 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

Nov 7, 2024 12:14:56 GMT -5 bex1973 said:

sunshineandpinot , I'd just pay and move on. Sounds like both sides bear some responsibility. She's likely not even thinking about it as much as you are.

She said, "It's just a small balance." I said Ma'am $1500 is not a small balance.
I'm still mad lol. I don't like being surprised, especially since I *thought* I had paid in full. 

I agree. Seems like they do need to do better with keeping folks updated with balances at the very least! 

The statement we get after every payment to our ortho has the remaining balance and I find that helpful. Which I know is not helpful in this scenario  

[sofamonkey]

Nov 7, 2024 11:59:21 GMT -5 followyourarrow said:

Follow up to my earlier post. I did talk to the head boss about compensation and title. He said nothing is changing right now, but yes, as my boss goes part-time and I take over more, they will make changes to my title and salary. Unfortunately there's no timetable to this, so I'm going to have to set an internal end date for putting up with this.

So, let me ask some questions for clarity.

At some point, your boss will decide to be part time, and then you’ll slowly start to take over his work and slowly get a title change? And this is all at the whim of a man who is a meddler, and toxic. Am I missing any details?

If I’m correct, or close enough, I’d push back and really truly not be ok with that. You were hired with this carrot dangling on a stick, and they’re pulling it away. I’d be very clear about wanting a timeline, and that their hokey ass plan is absurd. But professionally, of course. Because this is complete and utter madness and nonsense. No man would be expected to do this.