Thursday randoms

[jinkies]

Nov 21, 2024 10:50:25 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

jinkies ignore if too personal, but what has improved for you? Sleep?

Brain fog/lack of focus was by far my worst symptom, and I already feel better able to focus and follow through on things.

Also just mood in general. Its been a really rough few years for me, and this week I am feeling hopeful and capable. I guess that could be a placebo effect, but I kind of doubt it (I didn't have the same perceived improvement when I tried Wellbutrin a few years ago).

[rosiebear]

OMG if my husband doesn’t stop buying things for himself … Christmas is almost here and he has a birthday in February. STOP BUYING YOURSELF SHIT! There should be a moratorium on buying yourself fun stuff after October 15.

[countthestars]

I'm home packing because we have a flight this evening and we lost power about an hour ago. It bumped back on so I was optimistic, but now it's off again. I have so much to do and don't really want to do it in the dark??? Also it's cold without the heat!

[fluffycookie]

Does anyone have the mango display app? I mentioned last night that I wanted to get the skylight calendar and I thought she said she had it, but she said they an app that is on their tv that shows the calendar which is all I really want. I know skylight does meals/recipe imports, but I don't really need that.

[lust2hart]

You all may remember that in January 2023, DH and I told our family we were changing our holiday travel plans: instead of staying home for Thanksgiving and traveling for Christmas, we are doing the opposite.

It has never been my intention that for my family, this means "Christmas is happening at Thanksgiving." My brother has been trying to make it so, both last year and this year. I have repeatedly told him that I'm not putting that pressure on my mom. If she decides on her own that she wants to decorate for Christmas, buy all her gifts, etc., a month early so that we can celebrate "Christmas" at Thanksgiving, that's fine, but I'm not going to suggest that. (My plan, which I communicated throughout the year last year, was to mail gifts in December. Thus, we did not bring any gifts with us last Thanksgiving, but my parents had cash for us (and Bro/SIL/niblings), which was unexpected. This year, for my own sanity, we are giving cash to all of the kids we usually buy gifts for. I told my family this, and that we'd bring our gifts with us this year. But I did not saying anything about it "being Christmas" at Thanksgiving - it's just, "we are bringing our gifts.")

I suspect that he and his family don't want to keep seeing my parents at Christmas, and he's trying to ride my coattails by putting out there "So are we doing Christmas on Thursday?" But the thing is, he's only been asking ME this. And I keep telling him, "The only thing I know is that DH and I are bringing our gifts. I have no idea what Mom has planned."

Finally today he put on his big boy pants and texted the family chat, "Wondering if we are exchanging gifts after lunch next Thursday." Mom replied, "Yes that is the plan, but we can have a gift to open for the kids at Christmas also - we plan to see you at Christmas."

Womp womp. Sorry bro. Guess you'll need to have that conversation yourself.

[sadlebred]

I've had two small side jobs this week. I finally ordered a couple of cheap things I needed at REI and used a coupon for one of them.

Now I need more side jobs for next week! I might have one-need more.

[somersault72]

TR since I work in an OB/Gyn office Brazillian waxes seems like such a tame topic! I don't think I'd do very well in the corporate world.

Congratulations followyourarrow and emilyinchile!!

[wildrice]

Last night, I went to a meeting for a new women's group in my county. For some reason the meeting was scheduled in this random smaller town (though it does have a big library) that was almost 30 minutes from my house, and of course it poured rain for the first time since September. It was really low visibility driving on these windy, poorly lit roads - it sucked. But I obviously did make it home. The meeting was interesting, I think the group could have potential but it's brand new so it's trying to be a lot of things at once. It is being formed as a reaction to the election so there is some combination of community/support, community service, desire to engage politically, etc. It will be interesting to see what direction it takes. I think it could easily end up being "white women navel gazing and not actually accomplishing anything", but we'll see. I found out about it on Nextdoor and it was open to any women, but only white women actually attended so that gives me pause (I mean I'm white too, but I always question when I show up somewhere without diversity in my diverse county).

On a related note, does anyone have thoughts about how to be inclusive to our trans friends when we form a "women's group"? I would hope it's implied that trans women are welcome, but what about those who identify as non-binary? I think the point is more to EXCLUDE men to make it a safe space/work on issues that impact us, but calling it a women's group seems exclusionary to those who don't identify as women but might be dealing with a lot of the same kinds of BS.

[cville]

Nov 21, 2024 9:50:23 GMT -5 TR said:

Nov 21, 2024 9:38:47 GMT -5 lust2hart said:

Yikes TR! Are the others in trouble too?

Nov 21, 2024 9:42:46 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

TR is your friend shocked those were not appropriate topics? Are friends responding telling her she was out of line?

The others weren’t discussing it, she brought it up and was asking for referrals and explaining why she didn’t want to do x,y,x and all.

Yes, we’ve all responded basically with “Wow, that’s a hard thing to deal with but you can’t say that stuff at work. Just because you talked about Botox with someone doesn’t mean they want to hear about how painful you find Brazilian waxes because you “have Jewish heritage and dark, thick hair follicles” 😐 (quote taken from the email she sent HR)

Meanwhile, today I thought about describing my excellent polite proding of people to get results skills as "gentle harassment" during a call and rephrased midsentence because I didn't want to say the word harassment.

[eb777888]

Nov 21, 2024 12:48:53 GMT -5 somersault72 said:

TR since I work in an 

Maybe there's more to the story or I'm missing something? Someone went to HR with this? lol. I'd just be like, wow that lady is a major oversharer and move on with my day. 

[TR]

Nov 21, 2024 13:06:44 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Nov 21, 2024 12:48:53 GMT -5 somersault72 said:

TR since I work in an 

Maybe there's more to the story or I'm missing something? Someone went to HR with this? lol. I'd just be like, wow that lady is a major oversharer and move on with my day. 

Knowing this person, I’m sure she was talking about things in a fairly graphic way. And she was already on warning for inappropriate comments and cursing. And the company is a well-known family-owned Texas company, so probably a bit more buttoned-up culture than some other companies in the first place.

[minzy]

It’s the week between my father’s death and our celebration of his life. I am trying to get some work done so I can leave town to get back over “there”, but it’s very hard to concentrate. We are sorting tons of logistics and I’m getting pinged every few minutes from a well wisher or someone making a donation in his memory. Lots of people are coming in from all over. Aside from the stress of his passing and playing host, I am actually really looking forward to seeing so many faces.

[scm1011]

Nov 21, 2024 12:55:49 GMT -5 wildrice said:

On a related note, does anyone have thoughts about how to be inclusive to our trans friends when we form a "women's group"? I would hope it's implied that trans women are welcome, but what about those who identify as non-binary? I think the point is more to EXCLUDE men to make it a safe space/work on issues that impact us, but calling it a women's group seems exclusionary to those who don't identify as women but might be dealing with a lot of the same kinds of BS.

I coach for Girls on the Run and we have a similar issue. The literature/website says "We welcome children who identify as girls, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming". Two of my middle school runners last year identified as nonbinary. 

[lust2hart]

minzy, I hadn't seen that your father had passed. I'm sorry. I recall how exhausting (in every way) the last several months have been. I hope you can rest soon.

[wildrice]

Nov 21, 2024 14:26:57 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Nov 21, 2024 12:55:49 GMT -5 wildrice said:

On a related note, does anyone have thoughts about how to be inclusive to our trans friends when we form a "women's group"? I would hope it's implied that trans women are welcome, but what about those who identify as non-binary? I think the point is more to EXCLUDE men to make it a safe space/work on issues that impact us, but calling it a women's group seems exclusionary to those who don't identify as women but might be dealing with a lot of the same kinds of BS.

I coach for Girls on the Run and we have a similar issue. The literature/website says "We welcome children who identify as girls, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming". Two of my middle school runners last year identified as nonbinary. 

Thanks, that's helpful! I will suggest that language.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Nov 21, 2024 13:30:42 GMT -5 TR said:

Nov 21, 2024 13:06:44 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Maybe there's more to the story or I'm missing something? Someone went to HR with this? lol. I'd just be like, wow that lady is a major oversharer and move on with my day. 

Knowing this person, I’m sure she was talking about things in a fairly graphic way. And she was already on warning for inappropriate comments and cursing. And the company is a well-known family-owned Texas company, so probably a bit more buttoned-up culture than some other companies in the first place.

I'm curious, do you think a man would be written up for making similar type comments?  For swearing and talking about having sweaty balls or something? 

My only work experience is as a teacher, where I heard all kinds of things in the lunch room, although I guess most of the worst of it was repeating stuff the students said or worse, the parents said.  But I can't imagine an employee being fired for just talking about their life to their co-workers.  I mean, talking to clients inappropriately, yes, or being racist/sexist/-phobic, yes, but just oversharing?  It's wild to me.

[1confused1]

I posted yesterday how my new manager added more work to my already full plate. I have now told him three times that I can not handle the added work in addition to what I am already responsible for. His response: let me think on it. I can’t guarantee I’ll take it off your plate.

So basically he is setting me up to fail. I don’t know what to do at this point.

[scm1011]

Nov 21, 2024 15:10:24 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I posted yesterday how my new manager added more work to my already full plate. I have now told him three times that I can not handle the added work in addition to what I am already responsible for. His response: let me think on it. I can’t guarantee I’ll take it off your plate.

So basically he is setting me up to fail. I don’t know what to do at this point.

"Understood. In that case, let me know what I should de-prioritize to accommodate." 

[spindle92]

I live on a dead-end street, so every vehicle that comes by, has to come by twice.
Well, I've been hearing loud industrial-style trucks and what sounds like vacuuming all morning.
Turns out they are restoration company trucks and it is a large vacuum, sucking up tons of water from my neighbor's basement.

Neighbor's adult-aged granddaughter turned on the bathtub last night and then FORGOT and went to bed.
It flooded his entire main floor bathroom and then of course leaked down below to the finished basement below it.

Major water damage.

[loira]

I'm living in a state of low-grade medical anxiety because I have a swollen thyroid and my TSH levels are "within the normal range". I didn't even notice it until my dentist pointed it out to me, so who even knows how long I have had this problem? Of course, now I notice it all the time. I have an ultrasound scheduled for next week, along with more bloodwork to check things like T3s and 4s (which wasn't done initially because labs here won't bother testing them if TSH is normal). I hate waiting.

[beerlover]

Well $300 later we're all caught up on appointments, vaccines, nail trims, and flea meds. Eek. The vet didn't seem to have too many ideas on how to keep these cats from murdering each other though. I guess I should invest in some of these stupid diffusers.

[wanderlustmom]

Nov 21, 2024 15:48:42 GMT -5 beerlover said:

Well $300 later we're all caught up on appointments, vaccines, nail trims, and flea meds. Eek. The vet didn't seem to have too many ideas on how to keep these cats from murdering each other though. I guess I should invest in some of these stupid diffusers.

uggh, I know veterinarian services are so expensive. My neighbor had cat fight issues and the diffuser did its job and one of her cats takes an antidepressant.  She said for her individual situation both were needed.  She did say cat prozac was surprisingly not expensive and peace is restored 

[wanderlustmom]

Nov 21, 2024 15:48:10 GMT -5 loira said:

I'm living in a state of low-grade medical anxiety because I have a swollen thyroid and my TSH levels are "within the normal range". I didn't even notice it until my dentist pointed it out to me, so who even knows how long I have had this problem? Of course, now I notice it all the time. I have an ultrasound scheduled for next week, along with more bloodwork to check things like T3s and 4s (which wasn't done initially because labs here won't bother testing them if TSH is normal). I hate waiting.

I am so sorry, I know all too well about thyroid issues and medical anxiety. My hashimotos autoimmune was found when I was 25 and by the college doctor I had when she felt a lump. Yes the full panel helps so much. I did get a biopsy at 28 after my older sister had thyroid cancer so they wanted to check mine.  All was well and my older sister did very well with her treatment. I still have my goiter and can feel it.  I did find the biopsy painful but hopefully they will just need an ultrasound which is NBD at all.  I love my endocrinologist so I hope you get one you like too if you don't have one already.

[rosiebear]

Our nightmare home reno saga continues, sort of. They are finally making progress, but this morning the general contractor states that they are going to reach a certain milestone point in the construction tomorrow and he needs a check for $10,000. Cool dude, I don’t have $10,000 just sitting in my checking account – it’ll take some time to transfer it from another account. He wasn’t happy about it, but honestly, we need a bit more of a heads up than one day.

In other news, my sister is continuing to recover from her liver transplant, but unfortunately, she is experiencing fairly severe delirium and paranoia. I have been reading about this phenomenon and holy cow! It is very common and very, very terrible. I hope she passes through this very quickly.

[Saudade]

My property taxes are increasing by 20% next year. I am beyond livid. I have never been a complainer about taxes. I don't usually think anything about it really. But this is just ridiculous.

[Susie]

In the past when my family has visited for holidays, my dad gets the guest room, my son gets displaced, and my brother/SIL/kid get my son's room.  My son ends up either sharing with his sister or with us.

I think for TG this year, rather than displace my son, I'm going to offer them an air bed in the basement, and they can choose if they want their toddler's PNP to go in the basement with them, my DD (9)'s room, or my DS (5)'s room.  The basement isn't finished, but it's dry, there's floor coverings, a TV, a glider chair and bean bags, etc.  It's not gross or anything.

I think they might not love being on a different floor from their toddler (almost 3), but man it stresses me out to lose access to my 5 yo's room for 5 days, having to have all his stuff out of there, him sleeping in different places, etc.  Plus if they aren't as comfortable in the basement... maybe they'll come to it on their own that 4 nights/5 days is a bit long?

[mccallister84]

Nov 21, 2024 18:33:06 GMT -5 Susie said:

In the past when my family has visited for holidays, my dad gets the guest room, my son gets displaced, and my brother/SIL/kid get my son's room.  My son ends up either sharing with his sister or with us.

I think for TG this year, rather than displace my son, I'm going to offer them an air bed in the basement, and they can choose if they want their toddler's PNP to go in the basement with them, my DD (9)'s room, or my DS (5)'s room.  The basement isn't finished, but it's dry, there's floor coverings, a TV, a glider chair and bean bags, etc.  It's not gross or anything.

I think they might not love being on a different floor from their toddler (almost 3), but man it stresses me out to lose access to my 5 yo's room for 5 days, having to have all his stuff out of there, him sleeping in different places, etc.  Plus if they aren't as comfortable in the basement... maybe they'll come to it on their own that 4 nights/5 days is a bit long?

I would just give them a heads up before they arrive. Honestly anything more than a night is too much for me on an air mattress - if they know in advance they might make alternative arrangements.

[deadwing]

Susie - 5 says! That's a loooong time to host guests.

[thebreakfastclub]

Nov 21, 2024 14:57:04 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

Nov 21, 2024 13:30:42 GMT -5 TR said:

Knowing this person, I’m sure she was talking about things in a fairly graphic way. And she was already on warning for inappropriate comments and cursing. And the company is a well-known family-owned Texas company, so probably a bit more buttoned-up culture than some other companies in the first place.

I'm curious, do you think a man would be written up for making similar type comments?  For swearing and talking about having sweaty balls or something? 

My only work experience is as a teacher, where I heard all kinds of things in the lunch room, although I guess most of the worst of it was repeating stuff the students said or worse, the parents said.  But I can't imagine an employee being fired for just talking about their life to their co-workers.  I mean, talking to clients inappropriately, yes, or being racist/sexist/-phobic, yes, but just oversharing?  It's wild to me.

I don't consider a man talking about his sweaty balls to be "just talking about his life" omg.

Do people not know that some topics are not workplace appropriate?

[momin2013]

minzy, I’m so sorry for your loss.

Susie, 5 nights?! That’s bonkers - the only time I’ve had a houseguest stay more than a couple of nights was when my in-laws travelled to visit FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD. I’d absolutely proceed with the air mattress plan and yes I would give them a heads up in advance so they know what to expect (and hopefully, clue in that that’s way too long of a visit and revise their plan).