What's your evening schedule?

[froggy76]

Can you please share what your evenings look like, especially if you work? I just feel like there's not enough time to do anything before DD goes to bed.

This is what our evenings look like:
5:45pm - Home with DD, put away pumped milk and make bottles for next day
6:00pm - Nurse
6:30pm - Try to cram in play, feeding solids and bath every other day
7:00pm - Get DD ready for bed, nurse
7:30pm - Put DD in crib

I feel like I don't get to see her at all. Now that she's eating solids, I would love us all to sit and eat dinner together, but there's no time to cook anything before she needs to go to bed (DH cooks while I'm putting DD to bed.) I have a <10 min commute and leave work around 5:15-5:30pm to pick her up at daycare.

I could shift my work hours earlier, but then the mornings would be so rushed since DD sleeps until 7 or 7:30 and I nurse her for a half hour in the morning.

What am I doing wrong?!

[mrshandy]

Ours is very rushed as well

5:00 - Me home from work start dinner if needed
5:25- DH and DS home from DC, DH finishes dinner while I usually nurse DS (he demands a boob as soon as he walks in the door)
5:35 - Eat dinner
6:10 - Play outside/inside, wash CDs, soak sippy cups
6:30 - Start bathtime
6:45 - Diaper, Jammies, Book
7:00 - DH leaves after we read a book book and I nurse until DS is sleepy and put him in his crib

Things that maximize time with DS
- making enough to have leftovers so we only cook every other day
- save all prep work for tomorrow until after DS goes to bed
-simple easy to cook dinners, we make a lot of vegetarian dishes so they require less cooking
-I have one telework day a week that is awesome! I prep dinner before he gets home and I get a ton of time with him in the morning.

[Deleted]

Leave for work: 7:05 am. Work 7:30 - 3:30 (although I've been leaving at about 3:10 because no one cares if I'm here yet).
4:00 pick up DS, drive 5 min home
4:05 - Nurse, cuddle, play
4:30 - Repack daycare bag, repack my work bag, etc. (DH gets home between 4 and 5)
5:30 - Cook dinner (meal plan on weekends, some are freezer meals, minimal prep)
6:00 - All eat together
7:15 - Bath, brush teeth
7:30 - Diaper, jammmies, nurse
7:45 - DS in crib

He was sleeping until 7 or 7:30, but since I started getting up at 630 and we seem to always end up in the same bed by morning, he's getting up with me. So I end up changing him and getting him dressed, then he follows me around and eats some breakfast to me before I hand him off to DH (who drops him at daycare about 8:10).

Your nursing times will get shorter as she gets older. For us, it works for me to have early hours because DH has set hours that start later. Meal planning and doing most of the prep for tomorrow's supper the night before after DS is in bed is helping a lot, too.

[jenny1223]

I just started working full days from the office last week and it's hard.

My schedule:
4:30 Get home from work, nurse
5-6 Make dinner or DH makes dinner while I entertain DS
6-7 Bath time, get DS ready for bed, bottle
7-7:30 DS goes down for the night

[Deleted]

We transitioned DD to go to sleep at 8:3-/9, so that way I would have some time with her. However, I get home at 7/7:30, so a 7:30 bedtime was impossible anyway. We usually do a lot of takeout, because if I start to cook when I get home, we don't eat until 8.

I never get to play with her outside unless I leave work at 5.

7-7:30 home; eat dinner
8:15 - bath and play in bed, read books
9- bed.

sucks but it is what it is.


DH picks up DD from daycare at 6, and they get to play for a while before I get home, so at least she is getting a bit of parent time.

[h]

My kids are 2 and almost 5, and they are total night owls and will not fall asleep before 9:30 no matter what time we start the bedtime routine. Obviously, this schedule varies some but here is our general pattern:

5:30 -- I pick up kids from day care/preschool
5:50 -- We get home, and the kids get a snack (usually fruit or veggies and dip) in front of a show while I get dinner ready
6:20 -- Kids and I play in the backyard and wait for DH to get home if he is expected for dinner. If DH is going to be late, the kids and I go ahead and eat.
6:45ish -- DH arrives. We all eat dinner.
7:15 -- Bathtime
7:45 -- Family play time (usually something like board games, scavenger hunts, hide and seek, or, more recently, the 2 year old and I play while the 4 year old and my DH recreate entire Star Wars movies out of Legos)
8:30/8:45 -- Brush teeth and read books
9:00/9:15 -- Lights out

The kids usually fall asleep somewhere between 9:30 and 10:00

[Deleted]

4:00 - leave work and drive to daycare to pick up DD#2 and DS
4:15 - pick up DD#2 and DS
4:30 - pick up DD#1 from after school program
4:45 - get home, unloade everyone and everything.
4:50 - nurse DS
5:10 - empty diswasher, put pump parts in dishwasher, make new bottles, put lunch dishes in dishwasher, get small snack for DDs if needed
5:30 - start working on dinner, get interrupted 17 billion times to take someone potty, break up a fight, nurse the baby again, etc.
6:00ish - DH gets home and takes baby and I finish up with dinner
6:15 - eat dinner
6:45 - DH cleans up after dinner, I take baby upstairs to nurse and put to bed, DDs play outside or in the playroom. If it is bath night all 3 kids get taken up for baths at 7.
7:30 - DS is usually asleep and put down around then. DH brings older kids upstairs to brush teeth, put on jammies, read stories,etc. If DS is asleep then I run downstairs and wipe down kitchen (DH does the dishes and puts stuff away, but doesn't wipe the counters) and pick up quickly and start the Roomba. And if it is a diaper washing night throw in a load of diapers.
8:00 - DH puts DDs into their beds and I go snuggle with each one separately and read another quick story to each girl.
8:30 - I usually go for a walk with my mom and the dog. DH stays home and messes around on the computer.
9:15 - I return from my walk and plop in front of the TV while I think about what I should be doing to get ready for the next day.
9:30 - I usually fall asleep on the couch.
10:30 - I usually wake up and go to bed. Sometimes DH comes to bed with me sometimes he stays up later.

[Deleted]

and these insanely detailed schedules freak me out. Do you actually follow them to a T?

[h]

May 23, 2012 11:27:33 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

and these insanely detailed schedules freak me out. Do you actually follow them to a T?

God no. Mine is more or less aspirational.

[nabum]

4pm home, nurse, play
5pm-5:30 or 6 - walk with H and dog
6-7 - dinner, play
7 - bath, nurse, bed @ 7:30 or 8

[Deleted]

May 23, 2012 11:27:33 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

and these insanely detailed schedules freak me out. Do you actually follow them to a T?

Nope, that's the general jist though and it doesn't really change much night to night.

[madringal]

I'm so jealous of all of you that are home by 4 (or even 5)! I'm lucky to get home by 630.

[nonsenseabound]

heh, my kids always seem to go to bed later than other kids. They are getting enough sleep and they both nap great.

Evening
5:00 PM pick up
5:30/6 nurse
6/630 eat solids
7 play time
8 nurse
9/930 nurse and bed

My DD eats dinner at 6:30ish and then we put her down around 830. Rest of time is spent playing or working on sign language skills or just spending time with family. She is three.

[cjeanette]

Mine is not the same everynight with kids activities, but on a night when there is none-

4:15-5- get home, check mail, play with kids, spend a few minutes relaxing on the computer
5-6- kid's homework, clean, make dinner, eat
6-7- kids play on their own, clean up kitchen, pack lunches, do whatever needs to be done, sometimes go on a family walk
7-8 bedtime routine, baths if needed
8-11 my time to do what I want or catch up on what I need to

[bunch]

I sah so this obviously changes things...

5:30 start dinner
6: h gets home, plays with dd while I finish up
6:30 dinner
7 bath, baby massage, Jammie's
730 Walk around neighborhood
8 bottle or boob and bed

[Ashley&Scott]

This is a general idea of how a night at our house goes:

5pm- get home with DS, unpack work & daycare bags
5:15 DH gets home
5:15-540-change DS & nurse
5:15-6:30- DH cook dinner, clean bottles & pump parts
6:30-nurse
6:45ish- eat dinner
6:45-7:30 play (bath some nights)
7:30-nurse
7:45- DS falls asleep, he is held by one of us until we are ready for bed otherwise he will wake up
9:00-10pm-we all go go to bed

DS cluster feds in the evenings as you can see. Poor DH gets stuck with most of the cooking & dishes because I'm busy nursing. Whenever we can we bring DS into the kitchen in his high chair so we can both clean/prep for the next day or DH plays with him while I clean/prep.

[oregonpachey]

Here is our schedule. I WFH and my DH stays home with the boys:

4:00: Log off from work and immediately go pump
4:15: Baby gets his pill and then some cereal
4:30: Play with boys until it's dinner time. I usually do a small task here like put away some laundry.
5:00 ish: Start prepping and making dinner
6:00: Eat and then clean up
6:30 to 7:15: Play with boys and maybe do a small chore.
7:15 (if it's bath night): Baths and get the baby ready for bed.
7:45 (if it's not bath night): Get older son ready for bed
8:00: Bed for both kiddos
8:15: Pump and be lazy. I usually read a magazine or watch tv.
9:30 ish: Bed time for Mama

[starlily]

5:30-6:00 Eat dinner w/ DD. We usually have leftovers on hand from the previous night's meal for her, since she is starving when we get home. We sit with her and "chat" even though we're not eating.

6:00-7:30 Playtime

7:30-8:00 H gets DD ready for bedtime and I start cooking our dinner.

8:00 DD goes to bed. H&I eat dinner afterward.

[kittycatlove]

Ours were pretty rushed as well, but as DS is getting older we've been able to push his bedtime back a bit which gives us more play time in the evenings. Dinners are still hard, and every other night we eat w/o DS, and then do leftovers as a family on the others.

5:30 get home/play with DH while I prep dinner
6:00 dinner
6:30 bath - this is most nights as he is still a really messy eater
7:00 play time/go for short walk if nice
7:30 jammies get ready for bed
7:45-8:00 DS gets bottle before bed then put in crib

[dcrunnergirl]

Here's ours:

4:55pm: Pick up kids at daycare
5:05pm: Arrive home
5:30pm: Family dinner (we only started doing this around 18 months. Before that, either the kids were too little for solids, or we just fed them dinner and then DH and I ate after they went to bed)
6:30pm-6:45pm: Bedtime routine (baths, PJs, brush teeth, books, milk, bed)
7pm: They're in bed and asleep (hopefully)

Before about 15 months, they needed to go to sleep at 6:30pm, so the schedule was even more compressed. It's very rushed but my kids need an early bedtime. I'd rather have 90 minutes of quality, happy time with them then 3 hours of cranky time b/c we didn't put them to bed when they're biological clocks wanted them to sleep.

[definitelyO]

May 23, 2012 11:02:36 GMT -5 froggy76 said:

Can you please share what your evenings look like, especially if you work? I just feel like there's not enough time to do anything before DD goes to bed.

This is what our evenings look like:
5:45pm - Home with DD, put away pumped milk and make bottles for next day
6:00pm - Nurse
6:30pm - Try to cram in play, feeding solids and bath every other day
7:00pm - Get DD ready for bed, nurse
7:30pm - Put DD in crib

I feel like I don't get to see her at all. Now that she's eating solids, I would love us all to sit and eat dinner together, but there's no time to cook anything before she needs to go to bed (DH cooks while I'm putting DD to bed.) I have a <10 min commute and leave work around 5:15-5:30pm to pick her up at daycare.

I could shift my work hours earlier, but then the mornings would be so rushed since DD sleeps until 7 or 7:30 and I nurse her for a half hour in the morning.

What am I doing wrong?!

IMO you aren't doing anything wrong - but what does your DH do other than make dinner while you're putting DD to bed? what time does he get home? can he pick her up at all?

I do remember that the first 2 years the evenings were so tight because DS was going to bed so early. Now DS is 6 and while he still goes to bed at 7:30 the nights are a little more relaxed.

our nights (general approx. of time frames)

4pm - DH picks up DS from afterschool care - they start homework or play
5pm - I get home and start dinner
6pm - eat dinner
6:30 - bath/shower for DS and some play time
7:30 - brush teeth, pajamas, books in bed.

[pescalita]

Ours feels full, but not rushed. Thinking about it makes it seemed more rushed than it is. He's not even 6 mos, so play time is a lot of silly giggles, which can get in a lot of quality in a short amount of time.

4:45 MrP picks A up from DC, comes home and hangs out with him
5-5:20 leave work, pump on the way home
5:45 get home, put away milk, rinse pump parts, get stuff ready for the next day
6:00 play until he gets fussy, nurse while MrP gets dinner ready, then change diaper
6:45 eat together, A sits in the high chair
7:15 walk dogs
8:00 change, PJs, book, nurse, bed
8:45 finish anything we need for the next day, watch TV & relax
9:30 bed

He's still up once-twice/night, and then in the morning its this:
5:00 MrP gets up and ready
5:45 breakfast, A usually wakes up around 6
6:15 MrP leaves, I get dressed
6:45 get A dressed and nursed
7:20 walk the dogs
7:45 leave the house

[froggy76]

Thanks, everyone. It sounds like I'm not the only one with a rushed evening!

May 23, 2012 12:56:36 GMT -5 definitelyO said:

IMO you aren't doing anything wrong - but what does your DH do other than make dinner while you're putting DD to bed? what time does he get home? can he pick her up at all?

DH does everything- walk/feed dog, wash CDs, wash bottles, make baby food, make dinner. He gets home around 6pm. It makes more sense for me to pick up DD because I leave work earlier most days and her daycare is right next to my office.

I actually wish he would just focus on having some quality time with DD until she goes to bed.

[cheese]

5-5:30 - Pick up DS
5:45 - 6:00 - Get home
6:00 - Eat dinner (DH cooks)
6:15-7:00 - Clean-up, play, bath, brush teeth
7:00 - Nurse and go to bed

It sucks not having more quality time, but he is so exhausted by the time 7:00 hits. I hope this will eventually change.

[badtzmaru22]

I am getting hives just reading all of this! I've been back to work for two weeks now, and it's all I can do to get the bottles ready for the next day, wash the pump parts and get something to eat myself! LO likes to cluster feed at night, so usually we sit on the couch and do that all night. Sometimes she'll play on the playmat if I'm right next to her.
DH was on days last week, which helped, but he's been OOT this week, and usually will not get home until 9. (He works a split shift).

LO usually is out by 10, and I'm right behind her. She sometimes wakes to feed at 3, and I have to get up at 5:30 for work. I feed her again at 6:30, and I'm out the door by 7 if I have to drop her off at the sitter, 7:15 if DH does it. Our mornings are more rushed than the evenings, I think. I try to get one thing done per day as far as the household stuff- a load of laundry or what have you.

LO is 14wks and such a happy baby, so I'm lucky and i feel like our time together is fulfilling, albeit short (as opposed to the screaming colicky babies my friends have had). I still have no clue how people with more than one kid or who are actual single parents do it!

[Ashley&Scott]

May 23, 2012 13:30:04 GMT -5 froggy76 said:

Thanks, everyone. It sounds like I'm not the only one with a rushed evening!

May 23, 2012 12:56:36 GMT -5 definitelyO said:

IMO you aren't doing anything wrong - but what does your DH do other than make dinner while you're putting DD to bed? what time does he get home? can he pick her up at all?

DH does everything- walk/feed dog, wash CDs, wash bottles, make baby food, make dinner. He gets home around 6pm. It makes more sense for me to pick up DD because I leave work earlier most days and her daycare is right next to my office.

I actually wish he would just focus on having some quality time with DD until she goes to bed.

My DH does most of the cooking/cleaning/prep too because DS nurses so much in the evenings. I've been trying to trade with him when DS isn't nursing so I can do the chores & he can spend some time with DS. Would that work for you guys?

[Deleted]

May 23, 2012 13:47:22 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

When I go back to work FT I'll be getting home at 6pm to 630pm. I'm noticing MOST MM moms get home before this. Damn traffic/commute. Oh well.

not meeee

[Deleted]

I meant not me, as in, I dont get home at 6:30. I have a 30 min commute without traffic that can take 45-60 on bad days. I'm lucky when I get home by 7, which means I left "early" at 6:30.

[Wines Not Whines]

I shifted to an earlier work schedule and it's helped a lot with the evening routine. I work 7-4 most days, but sometimes I can leave as early as 3:30. I pick LO up from school and we're home around 4:45. We have time to play and I can make a quick dinner. We eat around 6 pm (DH gets home later and eats separately). After DH gets home, we take turns spending time with the kid and getting things done before bath and bed time. He goes to bed between 8-8:30 and wakes up at 6.

I go to bed around 10 pm, get up at 5:30 am, and leave the house at 6:45. LO wakes up around 6, so I still get to spend a good 30 minutes with him in the morning. DH leaves later and drops LO off.

[Deleted]

The partners said I can switch to 7:30-5 now. Problem is getting up early enough to actually do that schedule. I am up at 6 as it is, I don't want to get up at 5. I have tried to do it and the earliest I have been able to get in is at 8:15.

I'm hoping I can negotiate part time, honestly. But a) DH needs a raise and b) I don't know if my firm will let me.