I just want to vomit and cry

[lauranicole91]

We just finished up at Peyton's weight check. She lost 1oz since her 15 month well check that was 5 weeks ago. So she is 16lbs 12oz.

So her Dr went and consulted with another Dr within the practice. They are now concerned that at this rate her lack of weight gain is going to start effecting her brain development. And if she doesn't start gaining they are going to hospitalize her and pump her with calories via IV/tube feeding.

She's only gained 3lbs in the last 10 months.

They have decided to blame breast feeding. I couldn't even look the Dr in her face. I was doing everything I could not to cry in that room.

They agree that breast milk nutrition is great, but they want her off my breasts. It's causing her to snack too much instead of fill up. They want me to fucking exclusively pump. I told them she refuses sippy cups and bottles when I am home. She said "well it will be a tough transition, but once she realizes you are not going to give her the breast she will give in and take the cup"

I REFUSE to do that. I'm sorry. I will not take my child's only comfort away from her.

It makes me sick how much she was threatening sending her to the hospital. Her Dr has been pretty kind in the past, but now she is using scare tactics and threats.

They are setting us up with a nutritionalist and speech therapy. The nutritionalist will help us find the best foods to fatten her up and how to disguise tastes etc. The speech therapy will help find out if she has texture issues and help train her not to "need the breast" and take to sippy cups better.

I don't know what to do guys. I mean other than cry my eyes out.

[rubber pants]

oh no!!!!

Can you get a second opinion from a different pediatric practice? It seems like they really arent listening to you at all. Im sure there has to be SOME sort of other options, right??

I want to give you a giant hug right now. It just seems so wrong to tube feed a healthy thriving child.

[katfco]

I'm sorry. Can you see another doctor and get a second opinion? If she is snacking a lot, weaning might be what she needs to do, but I'd get a second opinion first. Or maybe the nutritionist will have a better solution.

[vthokie]

(hug)Aww... Hugs mama. I don't have much advice, but hopefully the nutritionist can help you out. I don't blame you for not wanting to cut her off from the boob, and it's not cool for the Dr to make you feel like this is your fault. Some kids just don't eat well. And, some kids are just small. I wish I had more insightful words for you. I'll just give you more hugs. (hug2)

[bebeetmoi]

Oh my goodness I am so sorry you are dealing with this. What a nightmare. Is Peyton a very picky eater? And their lack if BFing support would infuriate me too, though it does sound like they do have her best interests in mind. Hang in there mama- you are doing great.

[raynes]

WHAT?!?! Fuck them and all of that noise. Get thee to a lactation consultant!! Where's mrsteddy?

I'm so sorry that they're scaring you like that.  I agree, get a second opinion.  I think it would be good to talk with a nutritionist, especially one that's pro-BFing. 

[lauranicole91]

Jul 30, 2013 8:36:11 GMT -5 rubber pants said:

oh no!!!!

Can you get a second opinion from a different pediatric practice? It seems like they really arent listening to you at all. Im sure there has to be SOME sort of other options, right??

I want to give you a giant hug right now. It just seems so wrong to tube feed a healthy thriving child.

It's stupid. They are saying she is NOT thriving anymore.

[dixeedeluxe]

Before you accept this opinion, I'd definitely take her to a pediatric GI. I also don't think going to a PEDIATRIC nutritionist is a bad idea.

Even though it's hard to hear that everything isn't right, there are steps you can take to do the best thing for your daughter. And, she's not thriving. So, you can accept that, and move on to get her more help. That may mean giving up the breast. It does NOT mean giving up comfort. Because she still has you and your H to snuggle the daylights out of her!

You're a really awesome and present parent. I know your H is too! Peyton is a really happy little lady and you guys can get through this!

[irishsara]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this! I imagine it is so stressful!

I would definitely get a second opinion if you don't agree with what they are saying.

I do see what they are trying to do though. I hope you guys, with the different therapies and nutritionists, can figure something out that works for all of you.

When you aren't there though, does Peyton have a different way to comfort herself? Because if breastfeeding isn't her ONLY comfort, perhaps you can push another method before offering the breast?

Hugs!

[lauranicole91]

I'm afraid of what a second opinion would say. All they are going to see is a tiny child. They are going to KNOW Peyton. They won't have any attachments to her as a person. Does that make sense?

[irishsara]

Jul 30, 2013 8:42:40 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I'm afraid of what a second opinion would say. All they are going to see is a tiny child. They are going to KNOW Peyton. They won't have any attachments to her as a person. Does that make sense?

It totally makes sense.  But you have to do something, right? 

[sunshineluv]

Big hugs!! Do they have any reason other than weight to say she isn't thriving?

I hope you can get some more answers soon. Were you able to talk to them about how you tried to get her to eat more, but she wouldn't? And that she gets a lot of her nutrition from the breast milk? Or were the doctors just barking at you and not really listening? Doctors aren't always known for their bedside manner, I hope soon you can get some clarity about next steps.

Again, big huge hugs!!! You are doing such a wonderful job being Pey's mom!!!

[raynes]

From Kellymom on BFing toddlers and solid foods:

Some toddlers are eating very few solids, or even no solids, at 12 months. This is not unusual and really depends on your child – there is quite a big variation. We like to see breastmilk making up the majority (around 75%) of baby’s diet at 12 months. Some babies will be taking more solids by 12 months, but others will still be exclusively or almost-exclusively breastfed at this point. It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer. An example of a nice gradual increase in solids would be 25% solids at 12 months, 50% solids at 18 months, and 80% solids at 24 months.



Now, that being said, if she's not gaining and even losing then it's probably worth having things looked at more. 

Don't fear a second opinion, just make sure to be her advocate.  If there is something amiss, you'll be doing the very best thing for Pey, which is loving her and caring about her wellbeing. 

[lauranicole91]

Jul 30, 2013 8:45:13 GMT -5 irishsara said:

Jul 30, 2013 8:42:40 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I'm afraid of what a second opinion would say. All they are going to see is a tiny child. They are going to KNOW Peyton. They won't have any attachments to her as a person. Does that make sense?

It totally makes sense.  But you have to do something, right? 

Yeah. True. I'm not sure whether to get the second opinion now or wait till after the nutritional and speech help?

[dixeedeluxe]

Jul 30, 2013 8:42:40 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I'm afraid of what a second opinion would say. All they are going to see is a tiny child. They are going to KNOW Peyton. They won't have any attachments to her as a person. Does that make sense?

I know it's hard, but it's something you have to do.  It's their job to make her thrive, medically.  Is there anyone you can take with you that can kind of be a liason between you and a doctor?

[vthokie]

Jul 30, 2013 8:42:40 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I'm afraid of what a second opinion would say. All they are going to see is a tiny child. They are going to KNOW Peyton. They won't have any attachments to her as a person. Does that make sense?

True. But, they're used to seeing children for special reasons. They'll get your background and see that she's obviously not going to be a huge person in the long run. And, they deal with this type of thing all the time, so they'll have all kinds of ideas for you. Better to get another professional opinion than to beat yourself up over something.

[irishsara]

Jul 30, 2013 8:46:59 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Jul 30, 2013 8:45:13 GMT -5 irishsara said:

It totally makes sense.  But you have to do something, right? 

Yeah. True. I'm not sure whether to get the second opinion now or wait till after the nutritional and speech help?

I would honestly do both at the same time, if you can?  Set up appointments at both and see what each say? 

Ugh, I hate this for you!  I'm sure its super stressful!

[sunshineluv]

Jul 30, 2013 8:42:40 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I'm afraid of what a second opinion would say. All they are going to see is a tiny child. They are going to KNOW Peyton. They won't have any attachments to her as a person. Does that make sense?

That makes sense to me, she is your little girl.

What I don't understand is when does no weight gain equal not developing? There are small people, not everyone grows at the same rate. But don't not get a second opinion out of fear, information is power (I know I know, cliche)

[rjamz]

Jul 30, 2013 8:40:36 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Before you accept this opinion, I'd definitely take her to a pediatric GI. I also don't think going to a PEDIATRIC nutritionist is a bad idea.

Even though it's hard to hear that everything isn't right, there are steps you can take to do the best thing for your daughter. And, she's not thriving. So, you can accept that, and move on to get her more help. That may mean giving up the breast. It does NOT mean giving up comfort. Because she still has you and your H to snuggle the daylights out of her!

You're a really awesome and present parent. I know your H is too! Peyton is a really happy little lady and you guys can get through this!

I agree. See a pediatric GI, but you need to realize the doctors aren't out to scare you. They see a real problem. It sucks and it's not a reflection on you as a mother, it happens sometimes. But you need to take what they're saying seriously. I don't mean to be harsh, but 3 lbs in 10 months is not enough weight. See a specialist or a nutritionist.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

[dixeedeluxe]

Jul 30, 2013 8:46:41 GMT -5 raynes said:

From Kellymom on BFing toddlers and solid foods:

Some toddlers are eating very few solids, or even no solids, at 12 months. This is not unusual and really depends on your child – there is quite a big variation. We like to see breastmilk making up the majority (around 75%) of baby’s diet at 12 months. Some babies will be taking more solids by 12 months, but others will still be exclusively or almost-exclusively breastfed at this point. It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer. An example of a nice gradual increase in solids would be 25% solids at 12 months, 50% solids at 18 months, and 80% solids at 24 months.



Now, that being said, if she's not gaining and even losing then it's probably worth having things looked at more. 

Don't fear a second opinion, just make sure to be her advocate.  If there is something amiss, you'll be doing the very best thing for Pey, which is loving her and caring about her wellbeing. 

Yeah, we have to remember that recommendations like this are taking into account the child isn't FTT. 

[fusion]

I wouldn't totally discount the doctor and say fuck 'em all, but I would get a second opinion. I'm sorry you have to add this concern to your plate. Jameson fell on his growth chart even though he was healthy and active and it ended up being a very serious thing that could have eventually led to life long problems and possible hospitalization. Once we found out the root cause for him (milk allergy and gluten sensitivity) and fixed it, he's much less picky, and has gained several pounds and several inches in just a few short months. Falling on a growth curve can for sure be serious and sends a huge red flag to most doctors (except my old pediatrician, fuck HIM). After my experience I prefer a more hands on approach than a wait and see approach.

[lauranicole91]

Jul 30, 2013 8:48:44 GMT -5 sunshineluv said:

Jul 30, 2013 8:42:40 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I'm afraid of what a second opinion would say. All they are going to see is a tiny child. They are going to KNOW Peyton. They won't have any attachments to her as a person. Does that make sense?

That makes sense to me, she is your little girl.

What I don't understand is when does no weight gain equal not developing? There are small people, not everyone grows at the same rate. But don't not get a second opinion out of fear, information is power (I know I know, cliche)

Do you really like your pedi, sunshine? Almost all the moms I know use my pedi office so I have no idea here to begin to look for others. Haha.

[kdrake8]

Jul 30, 2013 8:48:17 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

sunshineluv I feel like the doctors in this situation really do have her best interest at heart. They are worried about brain development which is a very big deal. They've also been worried about this for some time now.

I agree - @lauranicole I think you are an awesome mom!! And we all know you love Pey so so much and care for her with all your heart.

I think the doctors are not trying to misguide you - it seems like they are truly worried, especially since this has been an ongoing worry. I sincerely hope that the nutritionist is able to help and get her gaining, so that hospitalization isn't necessary at all.

[chasbride07]

Jul 30, 2013 8:49:01 GMT -5 rjamz said:

Jul 30, 2013 8:40:36 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Before you accept this opinion, I'd definitely take her to a pediatric GI. I also don't think going to a PEDIATRIC nutritionist is a bad idea.

Even though it's hard to hear that everything isn't right, there are steps you can take to do the best thing for your daughter. And, she's not thriving. So, you can accept that, and move on to get her more help. That may mean giving up the breast. It does NOT mean giving up comfort. Because she still has you and your H to snuggle the daylights out of her!

You're a really awesome and present parent. I know your H is too! Peyton is a really happy little lady and you guys can get through this!

I agree. See a pediatric GI, but you need to realize the doctors aren't out to scare you. They see a real problem. It sucks and it's not a reflection on you as a mother, it happens sometimes. But you need to take what they're saying seriously. I don't mean to be harsh, but 3 lbs in 10 months is not enough weight. See a specialist or a nutritionist.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using proboards

All of this - they are not saying you are a bad mom, they are letting you know what they are seeing in P isn't on their curve for "normal" development and are giving you tools to get her to a better place that is in her best interest.  I know it's so easy for it to seem personal especially if the bedside manner of the pedi isn't the greatest.

You guys will all get through it, but get some help and other opinions. 

[raynes]

Jul 30, 2013 8:49:25 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Jul 30, 2013 8:46:41 GMT -5 raynes said:

From Kellymom on BFing toddlers and solid foods:

Some toddlers are eating very few solids, or even no solids, at 12 months. This is not unusual and really depends on your child – there is quite a big variation. We like to see breastmilk making up the majority (around 75%) of baby’s diet at 12 months. Some babies will be taking more solids by 12 months, but others will still be exclusively or almost-exclusively breastfed at this point. It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer. An example of a nice gradual increase in solids would be 25% solids at 12 months, 50% solids at 18 months, and 80% solids at 24 months.



Now, that being said, if she's not gaining and even losing then it's probably worth having things looked at more. 

Don't fear a second opinion, just make sure to be her advocate.  If there is something amiss, you'll be doing the very best thing for Pey, which is loving her and caring about her wellbeing. 

Yeah, we have to remember that recommendations like this are taking into account the child isn't FTT. 

Oh yes, you are definitely right on that point.  I think my initial anger and indignation got a hold of me.  I think that something probably has to change, but to outright say that BFing just has to go still makes me mad.  (also, when in the hell did I become such a lactivist?)

[lauranicole91]

I'm not disregarding everything they are saying. I understand lack of weight gain is a serious issue. But I don't see how cutting her off the breast is going to help. She went on a drink and food strike for 3 days when we tried to introduce WCM and pediasure. I can't imagine what would happen to her diet if I denied her boob access.

[jfh]

Oh gosh Laura, I'm so sorry. What an incredibly frustrating situation. The breastfeeding thing just doesn't make sense to me. Even if you cut out the breast, couldn't she just keep up the snacking, but with solids? Why do the doctors assume she'll eat more solids just because she's not getting breast? When K has gone through phases of not wanting to eat solids, I've felt grateful that at least he's getting the nutrition from breastfeeding. I would definitely get a second opinion from someone who is a little more bf friendly. It sounds like they're basically saying, "if you keep breastfeeding your baby you'll starve her," and that seems like not only poor bedside manner but also questionable.

You are such an awesome mom and I hope you can find the right person to work with you on this. I would get a second opinion before the nutrition & speech work, just so you have another perspective going in to those appointments.

Big hugs mama, you're doing a great job (hug)

[sunshineluv]

Jul 30, 2013 8:52:39 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Jul 30, 2013 8:48:44 GMT -5 sunshineluv said:

That makes sense to me, she is your little girl.

What I don't understand is when does no weight gain equal not developing? There are small people, not everyone grows at the same rate. But don't not get a second opinion out of fear, information is power (I know I know, cliche)

Do you really like your pedi, sunshine? Almost all the moms I know use my pedi office so I have no idea here to begin to look for others. Haha.

I do like mine, and they are a part of the CMC network. I go to the Mountain Island Office (it is called Southlake Pediatrics).    It would be a long drive for you though.  I found my pedi by asking my ob, so maybe if you are hoping for a new one, start there? 

[dixeedeluxe]

Jul 30, 2013 8:55:46 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I'm not disregarding everything they are saying. I understand lack of weight gain is a serious issue. But I don't see how cutting her off the breast is going to help. She went on a drink and food strike for 3 days when we tried to introduce WCM and pediasure. I can't imagine what would happen to her diet if I denied her boob access.

My huge high end of the curve babe goes on food strikes too.  I think they all do.  Then, they eventually eat again.

I agree that the nursing doesn't seem to be the issue.  It just doesn't make sense.  BM has a high fat content.  Higher than WCM, right? 

[lauranicole91]

Jul 30, 2013 8:58:41 GMT -5 sunshineluv said:

Jul 30, 2013 8:52:39 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Do you really like your pedi, sunshine? Almost all the moms I know use my pedi office so I have no idea here to begin to look for others. Haha.

I do like mine, and they are a part of the CMC network. I go to the Mountain Island Office (it is called Southlake Pediatrics).    It would be a long drive for you though.  I found my pedi by asking my ob, so maybe if you are hoping for a new one, start there? 

Thanks. I will add them to the list. I have a friend IRL who is now tandem nursing her 20month old and 2 month old so I will ask her about her pedi. Id assume they are pretty BF friendly if she goes there. I think she used one in Monroe so another bit of a drive.