Post by spellingbea on Sept 6, 2013 9:08:57 GMT -5
Everyone else has given the same advice I would have, and swaddling in particular was magic. I can offer hair pets, though. You're doing great and that helpless feeling goes away eventually. Huge hugs to you and sweet Rosie.
I would look into that! Taking care of a newborn, alone, has got to be SO HARD. You need someone just to help. I might look for one who is experienced with newborns, just to have some advice - KWIM?
I'm sorry. I wish I lived closer! Just know that EVERYONE goes through this. You're not doing anything wrong. You love her, you're giving her everything you've got, and you will be FINE. You will.
Post by Pixiehollow on Sept 6, 2013 9:11:10 GMT -5
You have gotten great advice. I just want to add that we have all been there! As trite and cliche as it sounds, this too shall pass. You'll forget about it. In the meantime you will undoubtedly wonder what you've gotten yourself in to.
I agree that managing grandma and a newborn is a recipe for disaster! Is your sister from the area? Would she beagle to rec a sitter/nanny or anybody that could come and relieve you?
You can do this! Really, it is hard but you got this. Since grandma is just compounding the situation, I would either hole myself up in a room with lots of white noise or go for a drive, or a really long walk. When I tried everything and just felt exhausted by it, I just gave into it or got out of the house. Driving and walking just seemed productive when I felt so useless. ((((Hugs))))
I'm so sorry. I had a baby with colic and the screaming can really get to you.
Two quick things I haven't seen mentioned yet; if you can't get a white noise app or hairdryer to work, DS always calmed down quicker when we stood next to the stove with the vent on high. It's pretty good white noise if you have an older stove/vent that is noisy.
Also, jogging in place settled DS within minutes. We just supported his head really well while he was cradled in our arms and ran as long as we could. The consistent up-and-down motion was one of the few things that worked. We would also at time "SHHHHHHHHHHH" really loudly right next to his head. If you don't feel ridiculous "SHHHH"ing, you aren't doing it loud or forcefully enough.
You are doing a fantastic job. This little one needs you and you clearly love her already. Hang in there. The first couple of weeks are the hardest, you'll be amazed once you settle in to your routine (and it will happen!)
So much sympathy here...newborns are HARD, even when you're home and comfortable. I can't imagine being out of state and with people who don't understand that this is normal. You're doing great!
Theo gets into these inconsolable crying fits when he's hungry but is too worked up to eat. I've found he will settle if nice and warm and naked. I either get under the covers with him in his diaper or go in the bathroom, close the door, and run the shower as hot as it will go. He loves the steam. We stay until he's calm and then I put him in a blanket and feed him in my room. Baths also work if the bathroom is warm and he's fully dried and dressed before leaving the room.
Moby and hair dryer? Vacuum? Sometimes babies will like something random.
I'm sorry, I know everyone says this, but if I was closer I'd come help, even if that means bringing a bottle of wine and letting you chug it outside while I hold a screaming baby.
Can you guys get out and go for a walk? Go to a store?
Hang in there, we all have these days, (I still have them and my kids are 5 and 20 months)
Post by iheartbanjos on Sept 6, 2013 9:41:18 GMT -5
Hugs sister. I have a 4 week old and am right there with you. I'm a STM and promise that this doesn't last forever, but it's sure tough when it's happening. Can you put her in the moby, throw on some headphones, and go for a walk? That's what I'm about to do.
Post by textbookcase on Sept 6, 2013 9:47:55 GMT -5
I'm sorry newborns are so hard! You've got this. Everyone has great suggestions. I had two colicky babies and it was very hard. I agree with whoever suggested the exercise ball. That's the only thing that worked with Keira.
The newborn stage was the hardest for me. Especially the first month. I got through it and you will too! When all else fails gt some fresh air outside and then go for a drive. It'll help not only the baby, but it'll help you as well. When DS was first born I literally holed myself up in the houseand wouldn't take a breathe of fresh air for a week. It was awful. Get yourself showered and out in the sun for a few minutes.
(((hugs))) to you. You totally CAN do this, because you ARE doing it, it's just super sucky hard.
If your mom can't/won't help I'd also highly rec. getting some sort of mothers helper or even an aide for your gma just so you could have somewhat of a break.
Bicycle legs worked for DD (lay baby flat in back, move legs like baby is on a bike, go at a good speed. Hard to describe) also the shushing in the ear. You WILL do this and survive. I promise. ((Hugs))
Post by spellingbea on Sept 6, 2013 10:03:16 GMT -5
Chiming in again. I'm not sure what part of KS you are in, but I'm near KC. I have a ton of baby girl clothes, and other stuff that I no longer need. I fully respect Stranger Danger (lol) so would be happy to meet somewhere public for a drop off.
I remember feeling this way a number of times when my first was a newborn. You are doing a great job. It will continue getting better and better, and in no time this will all be a distant memory. (((Hugs)))
Post by dragonfly08 on Sept 6, 2013 10:09:11 GMT -5
Drove me nuts that my kids popped out without a user manual attached to their heel or something. But you can do it!
Lots of good suggestions here. Sometimes, it's complicated and other times it's as simple as finding the right position. DD #1 liked to be carried over my arm, belly down and had to be burped in a sitting position rather than over my shoulder. She got frequent gas and bicycling her legs was often the only thing that really helped her work it out. The swaddle was a total no-no; she wanted her arms and legs free. DD #2, on the other hand, was Houdini in a swaddle but had to have it for the first two months. She also went through a phase where she was only happy if she was moving, especially at night, so either I had to walk with her continuously or drive her around in the car (because, lucky me, the swing was the one motion she *didn't* like so I couldn't pop her in there). DH went out of town on business once and I didn't sleep a wink for four solid days...I spent all day up with #1 and all night up with #2. At the time I thought I would lose my mind, but it passes...that little troublemaker turned 7 last week and sleeps pretty well these days.
Take a Mommy Time Out when you need it, even if your DC cries. You can't help the baby if you don't help yourself, first. Good luck!
The white noise app was my WHOLE LIFE when DS was a baby. Seriously.
Do you have a RnP? Put R in it, strap her in and pick it up and rock it back and forth in the air. Works wonders. Seriously. Put your cellphone between the layers of the RnP near her head.
Get a hotel. Get away from Gma. I am sure it is sad that she had dementia, but you don't need to be around that with all this stress. Get all of the white noise making things. Try them all, sometimes they don't respond to one kind. Also it has to be LOUD and right up against there ear.
I haven't read through all the responses but do you have a yoga ball? The only thing that would call my dd as an infant was holding her or wearing her in the moby while bouncing on the yoga ball. I'm so sorry! Babies are tough.