She won't stop crying. The Moby doesn't work. She's dry. She's acting hungry but won't take the bottle. A pacifier doesn't work. The swing doesn't work. Rocking her doesn't work. Nothing works. My grandma who had mild dementia keeps asking why she won't stop crying. I don't know why! If I knew why, I would help her. I can't put her in another room and let her cry because my grandma just keeps coming and telling me she's crying.
DH is trying to fly out to help because I have no help. That's why I stayed at my mom's. For help. And I have none.
I don't know who is crying harder...me or the baby.
Oh, hang in there! Is she swaddled? Have you tried the 5 S's? If all else fails, swaddle her, go in a dark room, rock her and just shush in her ear (that is, if you don't have a sound machine). And keep shushing until she calms down. If you can, grab a paci and try to get her to take it while you do that. Is she gassy? Try to give her a good burping. I am sorry, I hope it passes soon. The newborn days are soooo tough.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Post by saraandmichael on Sept 6, 2013 8:35:42 GMT -5
yes you can. you can do this.
set her down somewhere and take a step outside. get some fresh air and a few deep breaths and then walk in there and try again.
this is hard. and even harder when you feel like you have to make others feel comfortable (meaning the people in your mom's home). but you can do this. you WILL do this. and when you start to figure things out - what her cries mean, how she likes to be held, the best kind of bottle/paci/blanket/whatever - you'll realize that everything in parenting is about failing a million times before you get it right.
Post by sunshineray on Sept 6, 2013 8:36:02 GMT -5
Oh otter, I'm so sorry it's rough right now. I don't have any baby suggestions, but just want to give you big hugs. It will get better, I swear to you. Sometimes they just cry and there's no telling why.
When DD was an infant I would wake up to her screaming and nothing could calm her down. ExH worked weird hours and her crying didn't wake him up. (Asshole.) I used to fantasize about throwing her across the room in those moments.
Don't beat yourself up. She WILL stop crying. You can do this, just hang in there. ((Hugs))
I tried the white noise app on my phone but she screamed louder. Now my grandma just came in and put her fingers in her mouth and I asked her not to do that. She told me I should do something about my baby.
I'm trying. I told her to get out of the bedroom and she yelled at me that she lives here.
Post by flamingeaux on Sept 6, 2013 8:36:46 GMT -5
When my oldest niece was a newborn, my brother just kept reminding himself, no baby ever died from crying. She's okay. You're going to be okay. She's not hungry or neglected. You're doing a good job. You can and you are doing this. You rock.
Yes, 5 S's (suck, swaddle, sway, shush, side/stomach). Those newborn days are tough, but I promise it'll get better (though I know it feels like it will never end right now). Hang in there!
I tried the white noise app on my phone but she screamed louder. Now my grandma just came in and put her fingers in her mouth and I asked her not to do that. She told me I should do something about my baby.
I'm trying. I told her to get out of the bedroom and she yelled at me that she lives here.
I want to be at home.
Read my earlier post. You have to do several things in conjunction with each other to get her to calm down.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Sept 6, 2013 8:38:21 GMT -5
I agree. Even with a newborn, stepping away from a crying baby when you're at your wit's end is not the same as cio, so do that if you need to. Carrides always calmed one of mine. We used to call our street the Autobahn, and we'd toss him in the carseat and drive up and down the road and he'd be out stat. Swaddling, as someone else said. And you will eventually find a comfort thing that soothe and silence the baby; for one of mine, stroking the top of the head from back to front worked wonders. The sound of the dryer always helped the other. I agree I think it's all about stimulation, and those synapses are going bonkers in a newborn! Good luck, and I hope your day quiets down soon. And I hope your mom can be more of a help, even if it's only a few minutes at a time.
Also, my kid needed all 5 Ss at once. Swaddle, pop the paci in (I held it lightly in place with my finger until she latched onto it), put her on her left side across my knees with her head in my left hand, lightly jiggled my right leg to jiggle her body, and shushed loudly in her right ear with white noise going. This almost always worked for her. She preferred jiggling to swinging.
There are white noise apps for your phone. I've heard they work wonders.
*hugs* Hang in there!
This! I used an app called Sleepy Sounds, mine liked the nature setting the best. My DS likes the car so I would put him in his car seat, plug my phone into the stereo with the Sleepy Sounds and he would calm down quickly.
Or if I took him outside he would calm. If he was inconsolable I would walk up to our tree and he was mesmerized by all the leaves blowing and moving around.
Post by karinothing on Sept 6, 2013 8:39:25 GMT -5
Just wanted to second a stroller or car seat. When DS would scream a lot I would pop him in the stroller and walk down a street with busy traffic. The traffic white noise quieted him down or was loud enough that I could't hear him cry. Also ditto shushing in her ear.
Do you have a yoga ball? DS would quiet down if I held him against my chest and bounced up and down on the yoga ball.
Also, this might sound silly but you can try bottle feeding her without a shirt on. Skin to skin can help calm babies down. You can even just hold her against your chest.
We had awesome success with putting Ellie in front of a blowing fan for the white noise (she was also a summer baby, so...) when she was flipping out like that. I have another friend who burned through 3 hairdryers with one of her little ones.
I'm so sorry you're feeling stressed-we've all been there and it SUCKS. Plus her crying is making you nervous and upset and she can pick up on that so it becomes a vicious cycle...I wish that you could have someone take her for a few to give both of you a break :-<
Oh girl, this is the hardest time. Swaddle her tightly, take her into the bathroom, turn the vent fan on, and sway her in your arms. Bring the bottle with you so that if she calms down enough, she can eat.
If that doesn't work, hold her length wise on your arm with her belly flat on your hand. Sway her and massage her tummy a little bit while you sway with her.
Those two things worked with us a lot of times. My dd was colicky, so we tried everything.
This is totally normal otter, and you've got this honey.
All of these are great suggestions, do them all: tight swaddle, white noise, if she's curling up her legs, try gas drops either separately or in her formula. Drive around with her and see if that will help. One thing that worked for me was to bounce on an exercise ball while holding him or keeping him in the Moby.
This is trial and error right now for both of you and this will get better and you get to know each other better
When my oldest niece was a newborn, my brother just kept reminding himself, no baby ever died from crying. She's okay. You're going to be okay. She's not hungry or neglected. You're doing a good job. You can and you are doing this. You rock.
although this is true... 1 week old babies typically just sleep. all.day.long. if she is one week old and will not stop crying, there is probably something that needs to be addressed. gas, reflux, hunger... something.
Newborns are so hard. You got awesome suggestions about white noise and swaddling. Keep trying. Don't give up. You're doing an awesome job and you will get through this.