Obviously, having children makes this exorbitantly more difficult. I would need to know deep reasons for this change in order to find ways to work with the kids on it. We would all try, though. For sure.
I honestly don't know. I would want to do couples therapy and see someone for myself to work through my feelings and how this affects us but I have to admit staying would be hard because he wouldn't be the guy I fell in love with and I don't know if I could do it.
I think I would like to make it work but ultimately I think it wouldn't work. If my husband was going through that, I would assume he would be changing his thoughts and ideals as he progresses on whatever path he wants. And I think those differences would end the marriage, not because they are wrong, but he wouldn't be the person I married. I feel like as he discovers himself, he would grow away from me, and I would probably grow away from him over time.
No. Probably not. I could be his friend, but not his partner anymore. I am in love with that man. Him living as a woman would not be something I could live with.
I think I would. I love my H for the person he is. On the spectrum of sexual orientation I do not consider myself to be 100% straight. I don't think it would bother me too much. It would obviously be a challenge, but we would make it work.
I'd make every effort, including tons of therapy. It's hard to think of me NOT agreeing to stay with him in this instance. But I suppose it's also entirely possible.
But every effort. This isn't anywhere near one of my deal breakers.
I don't know. It would depend on a lot of things - largely, how the marriage was otherwise. I certainly don't think a gender re-assignment itself would be a dealbreaker.
DH's brother was transgender (was married twice before with kids). Seeing first-hand what that was like from the outside looking in, no I could not stay married. I saw what it did to BIL's GF who stood by him most of the way. I am pretty sure my physical attraction to DH would be gone if he changed in that way. We have kids. That would not make me stay as his wife. I would support him and be there as a friend but not a spouse.
Post by cinnamoncox on Mar 6, 2014 15:41:00 GMT -5
No. I love my h like you read about and he is my best friend, so I'd certainly support him and remain very close friends but I couldn't be his wife. I'm willing to bet if he started wanting to wear women's clothes and live life as a woman, he may want a divorce too. It wouldn't be an ugly messy divorce, but a divorce it would be.
no. i would be very supportive of him and help him through that time and would hope that he would remain my best friend but we would not be able to stay married. attraction does matter and i just don't think i could make that work. i would go to therapy with him regardless though, just so we could have help navigating our new relationship as well as how to handle the situation with L.