Your hill to die on

[anna7602]

Do you have one? Something for which you would risk family and friend relationships over?

Mine at the moment is labor and everything related to life with the new baby. I am going to call people when I am ready and have visitors when I am ready, not when they're ready. And as much as DH and I have already tried to plan the logistics of when we can cart the baby around to visit friends and relatives who cannot realistically travel to us, I am not going to let them pressure us into spending $$$ or spending every single day of our available vacation time if we decide we just can't do it. It should be fun and exciting for us to share the baby with others, not stressful and burdensome.

[cilantro]

Not quite sure I define it the same way, as I don't really risk those things, but I take career risks to:

1. Always get my kid early enough to have more than an hour with him in the evenings. This is definitely my #1 hill to die on. Thank God he's moving more towards an 8 pm bedtime, so that I can hopefully leave a bit later soon.

2. Continue to BF (well, pump these days).

My job isn't worth giving up either of these things to me.

ETA:  With #2, though, it's probably more of a BECAUSE IT'S MY MOTHER EFFING RIGHT TO DO IT issue  

[lolo]

Basically, I will parent as I see fit. Unless I'm endangering her, get on board or get off the boat.

[Deleted]

I don't know if I have one? Vaccines, I guess, but non vaxxers are rare where I live. I can't really think of anything that I would risk family and friend relationships over that is parenting related.

[ECB]

That is a very, very good hill to die on. I said it somewhere recently- the labor/who gets to be in the delivery room topic makes me STABBY when there is ANY questioning or pressure on the MTB to include their mom or MIL. STABBY.

After I went back to work, the small hill that I chose was the grandparents helping watch DS. Well, let's be clear- the ILs. FIL wanted to help watch DS (as my parents were) but for MANY reasons, I just didn't feel this was viable. From the fact they are late to EVERYTHING to the fact that they are old and physically not up to the task.

Luckily DH was on the same page as me and he very gently and diplomatically handled the situation w/ FIL.

[Deleted]

Yes. Although it's not really kid related. I have absolutely no tolerance for bullies. None. You will not scare me into submission. You can yell and scream all you want.

[mmmomof2]

Bottles after 1yo and sugary beverages. A 5yo should not be allowed soda. Period.

[Deleted]

Vaccines - I view it as the only parenting decision YOU make that can gave a direct effect on MY kid. Plus, and this is flammable, I think people who don't vaccinate for non medical reasons are, at the very least, uninformed and, at the very worst, dumb.

[Brie]

Vaccines and carseat safety.

[pugz]

I feel pretty passionate about supporting all moms in how they feed their kids. No shaming people for choosing to FF from day one, no shaming moms for BFing their 3 year old in public.

[atarianna]

Mine isn't baby related, but my hill to die on is recycling closely followed by securing my SSN and informing others that legally they don't have to give it hardly ever.

[statlerwaldorf]

Body hatred talk in front of my DD.   MIL and my mom have both called themselves fat and made other negative remarks about themselves.  I don't care that it's not directed toward anyone else.  Not that it really matters, but my mom is a healthy weight and MIL is underweight.

[Deleted]

Not letting my ILs babysit DS. They were shitty parents, are irresponsible and disrespectful. They LOVE DS so so so much and they try so hard with him, and as I result I like them so much more than I ever thought possible, but NO I will NOT let them watch him alone. I just don't trust them & it's my call as the Mom.

[cilantro]

Nevermind, I'm crazy about almost all of these things kid related that have been mentioned. Apparently I have lots of hills!!!

[Velar Fricative]

Vaccines, but I haven't had to deal with an anti-vaxxer that I'm close with yet.

Also, while it's not something that would be a risk to relationships, I always say that child nutrition is my hill to die on. It was before I even became a parent because childhood obesity is a huge concern of mine. I want DD to have a healthy relationship with food. I want her to maintain an overall healthy diet growing up, which doesn't have to be all organic homemade shit and does have room for treats, but not the crazy number of treats kids seem to be surrounded by these days. Not every occasion is a special occasion that deserves a special treat or treats, dammit!

[Deleted]

Mar 26, 2014 9:43:11 GMT -5 mmmomof2 said:

Bottles after 1yo and sugary beverages. A 5yo should not be allowed soda. Period.

Maybe this is  mine? I am adamant against pop. Juice is fine. DS drinks a ton of milk and juice is an necessity if I want him to not have trouble going to the bathroom  

[karinothing]

I am very stubborn and opinionated. I feel like everything is my hill to die on.

[gibbinator]

Vaccines. I will preach to anyone who doesn't vaccinate themselves or their children for stupid reasons (aka, non medical).

I suppose I also wouldn't let anyone drive DS around without a carseat, you know, things like that.

[laurenh]

Vaccines and racism/bigotry. There are family members we'll probably lose contact with because I'm not willing to budge on either.

[Deleted]

Being tolerant of other people's choices and even what you might initially perceive as their mistakes. We're all doing the best we can, sometimes with limited information or flawed circumstances.

[badtzmaru22]

It's not really a hill to die on, but it's one of the few things I do get really fired up about. I HATE when people say "so and so miscarried, or I miscarried". To me, that makes it sound like it was something I did or had control over. No. It was something that happened TO me, so I always say, "I had a miscarriage". Sometimes it gets clunky to avoid it, but I don't care. No one ever says, "so and so cancers." They say, "so and so has/had cancer." I prefer the word as a noun, not a verb, I guess. You wouldn't say, "They are miscarrying justice!" either. You'd say, "it was a miscarriage of justice." That's the only other instance of that word I can think of right now, but it supports my case, lol.

Don't even get me started on the "lost the baby" BS. I cringe every time.

[havarti]

For this particular child, sleep. I've had more experienced parents tell me it's no big deal if his nap gets moved around or he stays up a little later. Actually, for my child, at this point in his development, it is a big deal. So I make sure to keep him as close to his sleep schedule as possible.

[mdana]

I think I have a small mountain range to die on. My Everest would be vaccines though.

[kangaroo11]

Vaccines
Comments about weight

[liveintheville]

Probably nothing. I'm too self involved. I care how I parent my kids and that takes everything I have. No energy to care what others do.

[game blouses]

I've been dying on mine for the last few weeks - people putting my child in danger.

[chickens987]

Mar 26, 2014 9:43:11 GMT -5 mmmomof2 said:

Bottles after 1yo and sugary beverages. A 5yo should not be allowed soda. Period.

You would've had a heart attack at my costco yesterday - there was an at least 3 year old drinking out of a bottle. It wasn't soda though!

Mine is vaccines. Safety issues somewhat - I won't stop talking to you if you turn your kid before 2, and I probably won't even say anything (see, our BFFs and my sister), but I will say something to a friend about carseats on shopping carts or fluffy bumpers in a crib. I was also firm on no food before 6 months, which my ILs didn't understand.

Oh, thought of another one! Feeding on demand/baby-led "scheduling". My H just told me that he and my MIL talked about me behind my back when I said I wouldn't put DD on a schedule. I think they thought I meant she wouldn't have one at all, where I meant I would let her set it - and because she was a pretty good baby, her schedule worked for us. MAYBE if she were a different baby, I wouldn't have been able to do that, but I felt pretty strongly about it at the time.

[ECB]

Mar 26, 2014 10:19:17 GMT -5 havarti said:

For this particular child, sleep. I've had more experienced parents tell me it's no big deal if his nap gets moved around or he stays up a little later. Actually, for my child, at this point in his development, it is a big deal. So I make sure to keep him as close to his sleep schedule as possible.

Yes, this!!  What "experienced" parents need to realize too is that all kids aren't the same.  DS has always done SO MUCH BETTER with getting the right amount of sleep and when they actually still happened - naps at the right times. 

And honestly- I've seen a few cases of friends who subscribed to the "Oh- it's no big deal.  My kid doesn't need to nap/ they can stay up late" thought process, and I can SEE how it affects their kids.  I'm not going to question them on it- their kid, their choice.  But I can very clearly see that their child does actually suffer for the lack of sleep! 

[Stingyshark]

Mar 26, 2014 9:45:52 GMT -5 pugz said:

I feel pretty passionate about supporting all moms in how they feed their kids. No shaming people for choosing to FF from day one, no shaming moms for BFing their 3 year old in public.

Yes!

[oregonpachey]

For me, it's how my children eat. They are extremely picky and when people criticize me for what they are eating, it enrages me. At least they are eating.

I am very lax with what we let them eat (no soda or too many treats) because their pediatrician was/is concerned about their weight gain.