Ok so I left the SLP crying...

[Regina Philange]

I hate crying in front of people. Omg

Anyways she wanted me in the room with Lou this time. I guess so he can adjust to her better.

But she wanted me to ignore him. So I couldn't make eye contact. He was yelling "momma momma" for me to pick him up and she told me not to.

So he starts tantruming and crying and hitting his head all because he just wants to sit in my lap. Then I started crying. It was just overwhelming.

I didn't know what to do or say. Because she said she wants to have the power and control in the room so he can learn. I get all that.
Id rather not be in the room or he will want me. I'm obviously not the professional, and this is all new to me but fuck this is hard.

Eventually I started rubbing his back and we finished the session out on my lap playing. He did repeat the therapists name, "Vicky".

It was just intense. I want what is best for him. I dunno. I feel bad because he's probably wondering why I wouldn't just pick him up: she told me he's manipulating me and that he won. I left feeling like shit.

Sorry this is long.

[mala]

^o) @ her

Hugs for you

[jfh]

Ummm, I don't like her. I'm so sorry, that sounds really difficult. Do you have other options?

[mscatra]

Im sorry, Regina. I don't necessarily disagree with what she said, but I think she was far too blunt and unsympathetic to you. I think Trudy has said that she has to be outside Vs sessions for similar reasons. TrudyCampbell?

Eta: please don't feel bad! I think we would all have a very hard time in that situation. ((hugs))

[Regina Philange]

Apr 2, 2014 6:07:01 GMT -5 jfh said:

Ummm, I don't like her. I'm so sorry, that sounds really difficult. Do you have other options?

I do. He is still getting early intervention therapy. We just wanted to do private too as well. I did call my friend who is a SLP and she said private therapy is more like a drill ( shorter time I guess)and that the lady had good points but she would have went about it in a different way. I already paid her for the next few sessions.

Sigh, I just felt so uncomfortable.

[flyhigh37]

Personally I think you should get a different therapist.

As a PT I've worked with young kids with Birth-3. I've met and worked with many speech therapists. Everybody has their own unique approach, but this lady seems absurd. Thats just not neccesary. You don't need to go theough that stress and torture to get the same results. I'm guessing she doesn't have any children of her own either, because she certainly can't relate to being a mother.

[sandj82110]

I would have cried too. I realize they are trying to help but you know your child. We had a session yesterday and he cried going into the room (I was there too) and pretty much wanted to leave the entire time. I can't even imagine what it would been like if I couldn't have comefoeted him.

[kkfeb04]

I'm sorry and hugs.

[creamsiclechica]

Oh my gosh, that sounds like a very difficult situation for you and for Louie. I am happy to hear you have other options. I'm so sorry you both had to I through that, especially with something that is emotional as it is. So many hugs, J.

[Regina Philange]

This was the first time I took him. My husband took him last Thursday and he wasn't in the room and I guess was crying hard at first so she wanted to try this way?

I told her he was going to get upset, and she said "I've been doing this for 40 years."

[flyhigh37]

I just don't think all that's necessary. People do speech therapy all the time without the drill sergeant tactics.

Reading this upsets me.

[Regina Philange]

Apr 2, 2014 6:19:41 GMT -5 flyhigh37 said:

I just don't think all that's necessary. People do speech therapy all the time without the drill sergeant tactics.

Reading this upsets me.

She was very blunt.

She got nice when I started crying(stupid asshole tears.)

I really don't think I should be in the room.

[shmoo]

That sounds heart wrenching, I'm sorry. For what it's worth, G often spends a lot of time in his therapies sitting in our laps, it seems to help with him staying focused longer. They also include us in the session so we know what to work on the rest of the week. It's great that she is getting results, but if you are uncomfortable with her there is nothing wrong with talking to her about it or looking for someone new.

[silverjm]

((Regina)) I'm sorry it was such an awful experience. That seems like an awfully strict stance for this age.

[jenbelle]

I'm so sorry! That sounds awful. I hope that next time you don't have to be there. Otherwise I would look elsewhere. Big hugs!

[TrudyCampbell]

I'm sorry, that sounds awful.

Violet's SLP is nothing like that. When I used to sit in sessions, we did things to give the SLP the "control" like you're mentioning, but it was always things like me and her playing with a toy and me acting super excited about what she was saying/doing so that Violet would follow.

[fryjack2]

What?!! What session number is this?

The first one, we were in the room. 2nd one we weren't. 3rd one, jack was hysterical about 15 minutes in and they came and got me. We did the rest if the session with him on my lap. This past one, he screamed and grabbed for me as they took him back. They said they would come get me if he didn't calm down in a few minutes. He was fine, but if he wasn't, they would have come to get me.

This is an age when transition/separation anxiety is an issue again. We''ve never had (boys usually love people) so it's breaking my heart.

Is there another therapist at this office? Maybe give L a couple more sessions and then if it's still not working, ask to switch therapists. This is strike 2 against this one (the shushing your H being the first). It's not ok to tell you that she thought you let him manipulate you. It's still a new situation for him. It's not manipulation. It's him still sussing out the situation and he's looking to you to see if it's ok.

Big big hugs to you Regina. And to l. This is so hard, but keep your eye in the end goal. And he said Vicky! That's a new word to count!!

[orangeblossom4]

I agree that her approach was unnecessary. I'm a school psychologist for a special needs preschool and I work with a team of SLPs. If she wants to be in charge she can work through his separation anxiety with you in another room. It shouldn't take too long for your son to feel comfortable enough to work with her. A period of adjustment is normal.

But if she wants you in the room she should also be able to adjust and use a more play based approach to help everyone get comfortable. There's not many speech and language targets that couldn't be worked on with your son in your lap. It sounds like your therapist needs some more flexibility to her approach. This surprises me since she's working with such young children. Things rarely go as planned with this age group!

But regardless of which approach is taken you guys need to be consistent with it. Either go with in the room or out and stick with it. Your son needs to get used to a typical routine and changing the format on him could confuse him and possibly cause more anxiety, making it take longer for him to get get comfortable and get the maximum benefit of therapy.

Hugs! I hate that therapy wasn't a good experience for you guys. Good luck at getting it on the right track.

[ashleydl83]

I agree that she seems a bit too difficult. This is an adjustment for him and I don't see how him being upset is more productive. Big hugs.

[Deleted]

Hugs lady. Remember you are paying her, and while she might be the expert, you are the advocate for your kid. Stand up for what you feel is right, and go with your gut on this one.
Hopefully it gets easier, or you find someone you really love. <3

[blane12]

Hugs I would be crying too. That sounds so tough. I'm no professional, but it doesn't seem like he would be able to focus and learn being that upset. Hopefully next time will be smoother!!!!

[blane12]

Oh and yay for saying her name! Next week he is going to say 'Vicky mean'

[rubber pants]

Apr 2, 2014 6:00:45 GMT -5 Regina Philange said:

I hate crying in front of people. Omg

Anyways she wanted me in the room with Lou this time. I guess so he can adjust to her better.

But she wanted me to ignore him. So I couldn't make eye contact. He was yelling "momma momma" for me to pick him up and she told me not to.

So he starts tantruming and crying and hitting his head all because he just wants to sit in my lap. Then I started crying. It was just overwhelming.

I didn't know what to do or say. Because she said she wants to have the power and control in the room so he can learn. I get all that.
Id rather not be in the room or he will want me. I'm obviously not the professional, and this is all new to me but fuck this is hard.

Eventually I started rubbing his back and we finished the session out on my lap playing. He did repeat the therapists name, "Vicky".

It was just intense. I want what is best for him. I dunno. I feel bad because he's probably wondering why I wouldn't just pick him up: she told me he's manipulating me and that he won. I left feeling like shit.

Sorry this is long.

Ummm..  ^o) to your therapist.  Serioulsy.  Strike one is when she got loud with your husband and shhhushhed him.  Strike two was when she said "he mainupates you.  he won". 

Did she really expect you to sit in the room and ignore him?  WTF.

[AndyCohen]

I agree with others, I really don't like this approach at all. It's pretty much the opposite of A's therapist. I would tell her you need to be able to comfort him or you want your money back for the future sessions.

[ruby412]

Ugh she sounds awful. I'd be upset too.

[katfco]

Yeah, I'm side-eyeing that therapist, hard. I understand wanting him to ignore you--Abby's therapist wanted the same thing--but telling you he was manipulating you? Does she not understand that kids want their mom?

I would think a gentler approach would be to let him get comfortable with her and gradually wean him off needing you--start on your lap, then maybe have him next to you next time, and maybe try to move away as he gets comfortable.

I'm sorry it was so hard for you.

[pinchofspice]

That sounds awful. I'm sorry you guys had to go through that.

[DesertMoon]

Hugs, that sounds rough. What do her reviews online say?

[joyhart02]

Hugs to you. I would voice your opinion next time and tell her you do not feel the last session was productive at all and you would like to work together on a more gental approach.

One of Lydia's first pt sessions was like this when we took her for crawling/walking. The pt kept trying to make her do things and L was screaming crying, I was like she is not going to calm down and just do it, which is what the pt wanted. She's like we just have to force her to stand, she is just manipulating you, she knows she can just not do it. Well after the creaming ensued more, I told her it wasn't working. She would not be forced to do things.

Hugs, it will get better the ladies gave you some great advice.

[joyhart02]

Also, a positive to look forward to, L had her first speech therapy session yesterday too!! But, it went great and she loved it. It does get better.