I don't care about anyone's age, there are so many BC options, I don't know why tubal is the one you have to have.
I'll be honest, I don't understand why, if I have tried the ring, the patch, and the pill, and have been advised by my doctor my medical problems may make the percentage of a safe pregnancy pretty darn low, that I have to explore other options?
Just because someone wouldn't make a particular choice doesn't mean it's the wrong one. I don't turn 25 until next month, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job at this whole mom thing I hope that if getting your tubes tied is what you want, OP, you find a doctor that is willing, particularly with your medical issues. Good luck!
Another reason for the ablation was being so tired of using condoms and I didn't want to take the pill even though there are low dose varieties available, it just made more sense to have the ablation.
But I agree with PP that medical breakthroughs happen all the time so that is definitely something to consider.
Yeah, especially because you have to sign consent forms. What? Do they think you'll be able to come back and sue them in 10 years for doing the procedure?
Yes, this is precisely what they think. (Well, not 10 years later, though -- it's unlikely the statute of limitations would extend that long.)
It is absolutely not an issue of a doctor imposing his or her will on a patient, as zoomzoom and RoxMonster characterize it.
Consent forms or not, people lose their damn minds and sue about anything and everything.
Doctors are smart not to take the unnecessary risk on patients that age when there are other ways of preventing pregnancy.
I've said a lot of things in this thread (lol) but I didn't say this. I pointed out in my first post in this thread that, even though I may not agree with not allowing people under a certain age to get this procedure, doctors have to do this to cover their asses. I also acknowledged later on that if a doctor didn't go through the issues with such a permanent procedure with their patients and practice caution, they would be remiss. Trust me, I totally get why doctors have to be so cautious. That was never my issue with it.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Jul 28, 2014 13:20:17 GMT -5
As an example of medical technology / opinion changing, my sister has severe endometriosis. When she was 21, her doctor told her that she likely could not have children if she didn't have them immediately.
She had her first (unplanned and very unexpected) baby at age 29 and her second (planned) child at 34 just a few weeks ago. She's had no repercussions as a result of the endo.
Obviously this is anecdotal since I don't know what your medical condition is. And I only bring it up since you mentioned that part of your hesitation is because it's not medically feasible for you at this time. Just an example of how drastically things can change from both a personal perspective and a medical perspective in just ten years.
I personally would choose a less permanent option at the age of 23.
This is not because people can't make grown-up decisions at 23 or because you can't possibly know you don't want kids or because you shouldn't have control over your own body.
It is because a LOT changes between your early twenties and the rest of your life.
Feelings change. Situations change. This is, of course, true at any age, but the fact of the matter is you are a very different person in a very different place at 20 than you are at 40.
Plus, it's reason enough to look at something less permanent given your indication that if someone waved a magic wand and made it medically feasible for you to have kids you might consider it. Medical advancements happen all the time. If this is the primary thing holding you back, it might be worth looking at other options for the time being just in case something changes.
On the flip side of the coin, I would also not personally choose to have a child at 23, but I do know a number of people who had children young who have been thrilled with their decision.
And there are many on this board who would not choose to have a baby after 40, which I hope to do, so there is that too.
Opinions! We got them!
This is where I am. My entire life has changed since I was 23.......and I am 25.
Yes, this is precisely what they think. (Well, not 10 years later, though -- it's unlikely the statute of limitations would extend that long.)
It is absolutely not an issue of a doctor imposing his or her will on a patient, as zoomzoom and RoxMonster characterize it.
Consent forms or not, people lose their damn minds and sue about anything and everything.
Doctors are smart not to take the unnecessary risk on patients that age when there are other ways of preventing pregnancy.
I've said a lot of things in this thread (lol) but I didn't say this. I pointed out in my first post in this thread that, even though I may not agree with not allowing people under a certain age to get this procedure, doctors have to do this to cover their asses. I also acknowledged later on that if a doctor didn't go through the issues with such a permanent procedure with their patients and practice caution, they would be remiss. Trust me, I totally get why doctors have to be so cautious. That was never my issue with it.
I frankly think it's pretty dickish to tell someone who KNOWS she doesn't want to have children and on top of that, would probably have a very complicated pregnancy: "Oh you're young. You might change your mind." How condescending.
^o)
Is this comment in reference to people in general and not doctors then?
From a purely medical standpoint, a vasectomy carries less risks than a tubal, so I would look into that a lot more. DH is getting the V because it is an easier procedure than me having a tubal.
It could also be reversed if you changed your mind on the kids thing. Good luck!
I've said a lot of things in this thread (lol) but I didn't say this. I pointed out in my first post in this thread that, even though I may not agree with not allowing people under a certain age to get this procedure, doctors have to do this to cover their asses. I also acknowledged later on that if a doctor didn't go through the issues with such a permanent procedure with their patients and practice caution, they would be remiss. Trust me, I totally get why doctors have to be so cautious. That was never my issue with it.
I frankly think it's pretty dickish to tell someone who KNOWS she doesn't want to have children and on top of that, would probably have a very complicated pregnancy: "Oh you're young. You might change your mind." How condescending.
Is this comment in reference to people in general and not doctors then?
wysiwyg, I say talk to your doctor and do what's best for you. My personal opinion is that a vasectomy is preferable to a tubal because of risks and the type of surgery involved. That's just based on what I researched when DH and I were considering permanent options.
I get it. Some of us know that we're not ever going to have kids. I knew at 5 years old that I did not ever want to have a child. I knew the same thing at 15 and at 25. Now, we're in our mid thirties. DH got his V two years ago and we haven't looked back. Seriously, it was one of the best decisions we made as a couple. Some people really do know whether or not they want to procreate at a young age.
But like I said, discuss options with your doc and go from there. Best of luck to you.
I'm seriously considering it. Has any one had this done here? Was it over pretty quick? Pretty good recovery?
I had one, and it was pretty easy.
You'll have trouble finding an OBGYN to do it.
I started asking at 18, she finally agreed to do it at 23, and I had it done at 25.
This is what it took: Yearly calls and letters from my psychiatrist stating that I was capable of informed consent, had considered all my options, psych and therapist both had no reservations, etc.
Reports from three specialists saying why having children would be dangerous, that I wanted a tubal, they had counseled me on it, and while I was young and it was a risky procedure they supported my decision.
And the one that pissed me off: talking to my H and confirming that he doesn't want kids.
Hormonal bc was not a good option for me, and the IUD was not an option at all, so a tubal was my best option anyway.
DH had a vasectomy when he was young, about 24. His first wife was adamant that she did not want children, he was iffy at the time, and they agreed that he would get the surgery rather than her.
Fast forward several years and they're divorced, he and I are married and TTC. The reversal worked in that his vas deferens are open and he is producing semen with live sperm in it. However, his counts pretty much suck (number, motility and morphology) and all of these can be attributed to having a V for several years (they could have been that way previous to the V but we don't know for sure--I do know that both FIL and BIL were able to impregnate their wives easily). With that in addition to my PCOS, we're having a tough time of it and are looking at IVF in the next couple months.
So if you are adamant you do not want children, go for it, whatever. I don't agree with it but it's not my body, it's your body. Don't encourage a vasectomy on your H/FI because it's "easier" unless he feels the same way. As in, I believe that he needs to bring it up.
You never know what can happen in the next 5, 10,15 years.
Oh and my sister just had a tubal at 27 after 2 kids. She said it was easy, she was home same day, a little sore the next day but not too bad. I stayed home with her the next day because she has 2 young children and if something happened to them, they would need someone who can move in an emergency.
I think the biggest driving force is that having kids is just not medically feasible for me at this point. Maybe if someone waves a magic wand and makes it A-Ok, I'd be less dead set on getting my tubes tied.
I would approach your doctor in this way.
Go in to talk about how having kids will hurt you medically. If you talk to him about it this way it may help your case with you being so young.
My SIL is in the process of trying to have her tubes tied but the doctor have here a lot of push back at the beginning because she is "only" 33. She discussed her medical conditions with her doctor and that got things going. I'm not sure what your medical conditions are, good luck with your appointment.
I also agree with pooh8402. If you are 100% sure you don't want kids you should push go the procedure and not push it off on your FI just because that's easier.
I also agree with pooh8402. If you are 100% sure you don't want kids you should push go the procedure and not push it off on your FI just because that's easier.
I'm in the camp that unless it is life threatening to have children and would always be life threatening, I would probably choose a different form of BC at that point in my life if I were you. But I like to keep my options open. You don't know what the future holds.
But I would not push H to have a vasectomy. Especially since you guys aren't even married yet, right? Your decision, so you take control. If he wants to have a V too, then good for him.
DH had a vasectomy when he was young, about 24. His first wife was adamant that she did not want children, he was iffy at the time, and they agreed that he would get the surgery rather than her.
Fast forward several years and they're divorced, he and I are married and TTC. The reversal worked in that his vas deferens are open and he is producing semen with live sperm in it. However, his counts pretty much suck (number, motility and morphology) and all of these can be attributed to having a V for several years (they could have been that way previous to the V but we don't know for sure--I do know that both FIL and BIL were able to impregnate their wives easily). With that in addition to my PCOS, we're having a tough time of it and are looking at IVF in the next couple months.
So if you are adamant you do not want children, go for it, whatever. I don't agree with it but it's not my body, it's your body. Don't encourage a vasectomy on your H/FI because it's "easier" unless he feels the same way. As in, I believe that he needs to bring it up.
You never know what can happen in the next 5, 10,15 years.
Oh and my sister just had a tubal at 27 after 2 kids. She said it was easy, she was home same day, a little sore the next day but not too bad. I stayed home with her the next day because she has 2 young children and if something happened to them, they would need someone who can move in an emergency.
I'm sorry you're having trouble TTC but I appreciate that you added this perspective.