Please don't get married again. PLEASE. I have no dog in this fight. I'm not here to make you feel like shit. You need to NOT be someone's wife. You need to allow your son to adjust to this change. Why do you think moving to NY will help you? It will create a whole mess with the custody agreement. Have you thought about that? You're in the same city with XH and it was a fight. What do you think will happen if you try to move out of state? What would you do if XH wanted to do that, and take your son? This is such a bad idea. I know you get a ton of flames a lot of the time. I think you enjoy the attention, good or bad. I think you're a fundamentally good person. I do think you should take heed if a bunch of internet strangers are reading your story, have no vested interest in your life, and are screaming about the obvious red flags. Its time for a self-reflection at this point. Are you in therapy at all?
Yeah, I was with you until the part where you said you are moving to NY after all that you've been through in regards to getting custody/time sharing with your son. As someone who has is in the middle of a similar battle, I can't imagine intentionally complicating the custody things even further once it is finally over.
Please don't get married again. PLEASE. I have no dog in this fight. I'm not here to make you feel like shit. You need to NOT be someone's wife. You need to allow your son to adjust to this change. Why do you think moving to NY will help you? It will create a whole mess with the custody agreement. Have you thought about that? You're in the same city with XH and it was a fight. What do you think will happen if you try to move out of state? What would you do if XH wanted to do that, and take your son? This is such a bad idea. I know you get a ton of flames a lot of the time. I think you enjoy the attention, good or bad. I think you're a fundamentally good person. I do think you should take heed if a bunch of internet strangers are reading your story, have no vested interest in your life, and are screaming about the obvious red flags. Its time for a self-reflection at this point. Are you in therapy at all?
You are so nice to type this all out. Very thoughtful. But...
Are you moving their solely because he lived there once and liked it? Does he have a job lined up? There is absolutely no way I would move that far away from my child, especially not on a whim. You'd be giving up an hour drive for a 12 hour drive or a two hour flight. If money is tight, and would be tighter in NY, you either 1) won't see him often, or 2) will be living on a tight budget to save money to see him.
Sigh. Why would you leave your little boy behind who you just FOUGHT to get some custody of, with someone you KNOW to be a misogynist? Please don't if FI doesn't want to stick around FL to make a family with you AND your son, then he can keep on steppin'. Seriously. I know you said he has stood by you, but you are not an unattached person. You come with a BIG attachement. YOUR SON!!! That means you need to make choices that will benefit your son, and if FI is dead set on NY ( or NYC ) then he's not the right choice.
If you leave your son behind for bright lights and big city with your new FI/ H you will set him up for a lifetime of abandonment issues. Seriously, DON'T. NYC will still be there is the 12 or 13 years when your DS is grown and you will still be young enough to enjoy it then.
That is the only person I care about when it comes to Evee, because he is an innocent little person who has to deal with a shitty father and a shitty mother.
It seems like your son is probably in a more stable environment with his father than with you. So if you move to NY please don't take him with unless you're serious about staying there.
My little sister moved out of state ten years ago with her youngest DD from her two eldest children to be with a man she "loved". I couldn't believe she did it. I told her that her kids well-being needed to come first and I warned her she'd live to regret it because her kids would resent her for it later on.
She didn't listen to me and she didn't listen to anyone else. Sure enough, she wound up moving back with her tail between her legs a few months later. And her kids still resent her for it ten years later.
Don't do it, Evee. See past "the moment". The well-being of your DS should come first...always.
ETA: Also, I forsee you having more children with your FI, thus alienating your son even more.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
It seems like your son is probably in a more stable environment with his father than with you. So if you move to NY please don't take him with unless you're serious about staying there.
I am 99% sure son wouldn't go. XH would have to voluntarily give him up and if that were the case she wouldn't have to have spent $5K on an attorney.
Why would you spend all that money and time fighting for your son and then turn around and move out of state? Even to you this couldn't have seemed like a wise choice.
I know what New York, New York is. She said in the OP she was moving to New York. There's not a NY in the state her son lives in.
Thank you for the geography lesson.
No geography lesson. Reading comprehension. You seemed to have skipped past OP's reference of New York and were only concerned with a reference to "the big city"
Please don't get married again. PLEASE. I have no dog in this fight. I'm not here to make you feel like shit. You need to NOT be someone's wife. You need to allow your son to adjust to this change. Why do you think moving to NY will help you? It will create a whole mess with the custody agreement. Have you thought about that? You're in the same city with XH and it was a fight. What do you think will happen if you try to move out of state? What would you do if XH wanted to do that, and take your son? This is such a bad idea. I know you get a ton of flames a lot of the time. I think you enjoy the attention, good or bad. I think you're a fundamentally good person. I do think you should take heed if a bunch of internet strangers are reading your story, have no vested interest in your life, and are screaming about the obvious red flags. Its time for a self-reflection at this point. Are you in therapy at all?
You are so nice to type this all out. Very thoughtful. But...