NYC is quite a large leap in COL from Jacksonville, FL. You'll need winter clothes, for instance. And at least a 2br apt if you plan on keeping your son in the summer. Where do you plan on living in NYC? And contacts don't mean shit in terms of a job that he won't look for until 2016. By then those 5 yo contacts will be 7 yo contacts. FFS.
You would still be losing a lot of contact with your son. You said the agreement is that during the school year you have him every other weekend; are you going to fly him to NYC every other weekend? Even when he's living with your ex, right now, you live 15 minutes or so away, so you could go to school plays and spelling bees (I'm sorry, I don't remember what disability he has, so I'm not sure if these are possible, but you get my drift). If you're in NYC are you going to fly down to go to his spelling bee?
I'll just play along and pretend that this move to New York in two years will actually happen.
In that case, I just have to wonder - if you think your XH is such a terrible person, are you really comfortable leaving your son with him 1000 miles away for 9-10 months out of the year?
When I move to NYC DS will stay with XH most of the year. He will stay with me during the entire summer.
I do mean New York City, NY
F already has contacts in NYC from living/working their previously in Management. He'll be done with his Masters in mid year 2016. It won't take him long to find a new employer.
I also won't have a difficult time finding work in NYC. I may already have a job lined up with my current employer to work from home. If that doesn't work out, I don't think it will be difficult to find office work with my previous work history.
I am aware of what I am doing and I've thought about it much more than any of you have, trust me. If I felt I could keep DS more, I would. Not to sound all "you don't know me" but you don't. You don't know what kind of a person XH is or what he has/can/could do. I want to leave it all behind, get as far away from him as possible and move on.
I do not intend on having anymore children.
Do you have any idea how many MBA grads are in NYC looking for those same jobs?
And many of them have current contacts, not contacts from 'years ago'.
And lol at "oh, I will totally just find a job, no worries"
No.
Even if you find "a job", it doesn't mean it will be enough to cover the VHCOL.
I'd just like to add that many of these MBA grads who are looking for work have graduated from schools in NYC.
I get that, but PP originally simply stated that maybe she didn't mean NY, NY when everyone was going on about her moving to NYC. I asked if there was a NY if Florida (because any other NY would be a stupid decision and it would be irrelevant if it was NYC).
What? There are two issues here:
- distance from her son - COL
If NY = NY state, she would still be far from her son, but COL would likely not be as high as in NYC and she wouldn't be in "the big city." I think the COL/bright lights, big city is what lsea was responding to. Yes, it's "irrelevant" in the sense that it's still a bad move, but the arguments that she can't afford it and that she is seeking some new, flashy lifestyle are not as applicable.
Thank you. Yes. I'm leaving it at this because it kind of sums my feelings. It would be a bad move whether she meant state or city and that was my whole point. I don't care why Evee is moving or what her intentions are. I know you were not coming to my defense with this post but thanks for being the most reasonable to talk to.
I'm not going to answer any more questions. I'm not required to check in or divulge any information to anyone on this board. I give you this information because I choose too. If you want to judge my decision/hate me etc.... 2nd verse/same as the first. Most of you dislike me on this board anyway. Did I think telling you all of this would change your mind/perspective on me. Certainly not. I fully expected all of you to hate my decision and gang up on me. You always have, so what's the difference.
It won't change my mind, that I'm done spinning my wheels to go no where. Now I have a plan to go somewhere and move forward with life. If I thought I could keep DS with me, I would, of course. But I can't so I won't. The only thing I can do is move on, so that's what I'm doing.
Post by Captain Serious on Aug 6, 2014 10:31:44 GMT -5
I've never said this on a message board before:
I feel sorry for your son.
You are planning to leave him to be raised by a man you are so desperate to be free of, you are moving halfway across the country. That's despicable. And I speak from experience of seeing what being abandoned by a mother can do. Make no mistake: you seeing him only during the summers is abandoning him.
I'm not going to answer any more questions. I'm not required to check in or divulge any information to anyone on this board. I give you this information because I choose too. If you want to judge my decision/hate me etc.... 2nd verse/same as the first. Most of you dislike me on this board anyway. Did I think telling you all of this would change your mind/perspective on me. Certainly not. I fully expected all of you to hate my decision and gang up on me. You always have, so what's the difference.
It won't change my mind, that I'm done spinning my wheels to go no where. Now I have a plan to go somewhere and move forward with life. If I thought I could keep DS with me, I would, of course. But I can't so I won't. The only thing I can do is move on, so that's what I'm doing.
Does this mean you're going away now never to be heard from again??
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
NYC is quite a large leap in COL from Jacksonville, FL. You'll need winter clothes, for instance. And at least a 2br apt if you plan on keeping your son in the summer. Where do you plan on living in NYC? And contacts don't mean shit in terms of a job that he won't look for until 2016. By then those 5 yo contacts will be 7 yo contacts. FFS.
Also, I assume she would have to pay for her son's transportation to NYC, and I imagine as he's special needs he wouldn't be ok to travel alone. That can add up even if its just twice a year (once there for summer and again back), and that's not even taking into account holidays. That thought makes me even more sad that maybe there wouldn't even be any traveling for holidays.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny