No geography lesson. Reading comprehension. You seemed to have skipped past OP's reference of New York and were only concerned with a reference to "the big city"
OP DID NOT SPECIFY CITY OR STATE.
Are you being obtuse or am I?
I think you are. I simply asked if there was a New York, FL when PP pointed out that OP did not specify New York, New York. If there is, carry on. If there is not, then whether OP meant city or state is irrelevant because it is not FL.
Post by Captain Serious on Aug 6, 2014 10:12:09 GMT -5
Evee, I sometimes think that you check in here because you want to hear the board's honest opinions about your choices and plans. And even though you often do what you want and not what we advise, I think you do believe that the women here have a good perspective and offer good advice. There have been times that you've heard what is said here and altered your plans after reconsidering, so with that being said:
Why are you thinking of moving to NY? Is your FI hoping to get a job at a big bnk in NYC? I'm here to tell you that it's a great gig if you can get it, but is also very volatile and stressful. Most bankers I know move around every few years. Most have been laid-off at least once. Sure, they get paid very well while working, but they also work extremely long hours when they first start (my husband used to work 16 hour days when he started), have a lot of out-of-normal-business hours work dinners/events/functions, and some travel a lot. You will also be called upon to be the perfect banker's wife at some of these functions. My husband still starts work between 6 and 7 most mornings and works until 4:45 or later, and that's after 20 years of working at the same bank (by some miracle, he hasn't had to move around as much as almost everyone I know in his field).
I bring all this up to let you know that the grass isn't always greener. If this is the plan, you should know that it can be a great move for his career and very inspiring, but it's not all fun and games or without significant sacrifices. I don't want you to harbor any ideas of him whisking you away to NYC, where you can lead a life of luxury and spend fabulous, carefree nights and weekends out with him. It's likely to be just another day in a new, yet exciting place more often than not.
As far as your son, are you hoping that by the time you leave you'll be able to arrange for full custody? I hope you aren't thinking that the court will look more favorably on you because you are married, because this just isn't likely to happen. Do you really think that it would be in your son's best interest to uproot him from everything he knows and is familiar with to move him to NY/NYC, where he'll have to learn all new coping mechanisms?
Or are you resigned to the fact that he won't be able to go with you? Have you given any thought to how that will feel? You marriage/SO cannot fulfill you and should not have the burden of making you happy when you are removing yourself from the one person in the world to whom you really owe all your love.
I think you are. I simply asked if there was a New York, FL when PP pointed out that OP did not specify New York, New York. If there is, carry on. If there is not, then whether OP meant city or state is irrelevant because it is not FL.
Holyshit.
At this juncture, I think it's safe to say that you will not get there.
I think you are. I simply asked if there was a New York, FL when PP pointed out that OP did not specify New York, New York. If there is, carry on. If there is not, the whether OP meant city or state is irrelevant because it is not FL.
Didn't her exH move him into public school and she was waiting and waiting until she got $500 to get a lawyer to get him back into the other school. But in true Evee nature, that never happened, and suddenly public school was totally cool because exH gave her a game plan or something.
Genuine question: why not move to the county your XH lives in so your son could live with you full time?
Because this would make sense.
Clay and duval are literally 15 min away from eachother. Just over a bridge. I drive to Clay like 3 times a week. My mother lives in Clay and works in Duval. LOL.
I think you are. I simply asked if there was a New York, FL when PP pointed out that OP did not specify New York, New York. If there is, carry on. If there is not, then whether OP meant city or state is irrelevant because it is not FL.
Sigh, I don't know why I'm bothering. I live in FL. I'm very well aware that NY is not in FL. I did not choose to 'skip over' certain parts of the OP, just addressed something that was being brought up in the thread. If her burlesque dancing has nothing to do with this, then we can leave it out of the thread since there are clearly far bigger things happening.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I think you are. I simply asked if there was a New York, FL when PP pointed out that OP did not specify New York, New York. If there is, carry on. If there is not, then whether OP meant city or state is irrelevant because it is not FL.
It is in the context of COL.
I get that, but PP originally simply stated that maybe she didn't mean NY, NY when everyone was going on about her moving to NYC. I asked if there was a NY if Florida (because any other NY would be a stupid decision and it would be irrelevant if it was NYC).
I will answer all these questions a little later. There are too many to answer right now.
There's really only one question
To answer the main questions -
When I move to NYC DS will stay with XH most of the year. He will stay with me during the entire summer.
I do mean New York City, NY
F already has contacts in NYC from living/working their previously in Management. He'll be done with his Masters in mid year 2016. It won't take him long to find a new employer.
I also won't have a difficult time finding work in NYC. I may already have a job lined up with my current employer to work from home. If that doesn't work out, I don't think it will be difficult to find office work with my previous work history.
I am aware of what I am doing and I've thought about it much more than any of you have, trust me. If I felt I could keep DS more, I would. Not to sound all "you don't know me" but you don't. You don't know what kind of a person XH is or what he has/can/could do. I want to leave it all behind, get as far away from him as possible and move on.
Okay, so if on Tuesday a burlesque dancer in NY, NY orders new squirrel pasties from Amazon and they leave a warehouse in Memphis, TN by train going 75 mph and another burlesque dancer in Jupiter, FL orders new sequin pasties from sequinpasties.com and they travel from the manufacturing site in Sri Lanka via FedEx air express going 500 mph, which burlesque dancer will get remarried to a new man first?
I think you are. I simply asked if there was a New York, FL when PP pointed out that OP did not specify New York, New York. If there is, carry on. If there is not, then whether OP meant city or state is irrelevant because it is not FL.
What the hell? Am I taking crazy pills? illgetthere, you are the weirdest thing in an evee thread. THINK ABOUT THAT.
When I move to NYC DS will stay with XH most of the year. He will stay with me during the entire summer.
I do mean New York City, NY
F already has contacts in NYC from living/working their previously in Management. He'll be done with his Masters in mid year 2016. It won't take him long to find a new employer.
I also won't have a difficult time finding work in NYC. I may already have a job lined up with my current employer to work from home. If that doesn't work out, I don't think it will be difficult to find office work with my previous work history.
I am aware of what I am doing and I've thought about it much more than any of you have, trust me. If I felt I could keep DS more, I would. Not to sound all "you don't know me" but you don't. You don't know what kind of a person XH is or what he has/can/could do. I want to leave it all behind, get as far away from him as possible and move on.
I do not intend on having anymore children.
We don't know what kind of person XH is, or what he has/can/could do. But you do. And you are okay with leaving DS with him, while you are a thousand miles away.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
When I move to NYC DS will stay with XH most of the year. He will stay with me during the entire summer.
I do mean New York City, NY
F already has contacts in NYC from living/working their previously in Management. He'll be done with his Masters in mid year 2016. It won't take him long to find a new employer.
I also won't have a difficult time finding work in NYC. I may already have a job lined up with my current employer to work from home. If that doesn't work out, I don't think it will be difficult to find office work with my previous work history.
I am aware of what I am doing and I've thought about it much more than any of you have, trust me. If I felt I could keep DS more, I would. Not to sound all "you don't know me" but you don't. You don't know what kind of a person XH is or what he has/can/could do. I want to leave it all behind, get as far away from him as possible and move on.
I do not intend on having anymore children.
I am new and know most of the backstory now and I can fill in the blanks.
Your kid is going to hate you for this. Seriously. Your turn your back and move to start over means that you don't prioritize your kid. Gross.
I get that, but PP originally simply stated that maybe she didn't mean NY, NY when everyone was going on about her moving to NYC. I asked if there was a NY if Florida (because any other NY would be a stupid decision and it would be irrelevant if it was NYC).
It is not f'ing irrelevant! The COL is very different in, lets say, Altamont, NY than it is in NYC. In fact, it could be cheaper to live in FL than in Altamont, NY. The question was in response to the relative cost of living where she is planning to go and where she is currently living.
When an entire message board is telling you you are wrong, and not even one person comes to your defense ---> it's YOU, not them.
I have an Ex from hell and I fantasize about getting far, far away from him all the time! But the reality is, I love my DD way too much and would never leave her in the care of an asshole just to get away from the bastard. You suck.