Post by ilikedonuts on Aug 20, 2014 14:49:15 GMT -5
I'm late in chiming in, but most of my siblings and I went to $$$$ private schools. My kids will not be going there for elementary school. High school? Maybe, but I don't think it had enough benefits to justify the cost for elementary when our school district was decent (ie: not great but not horrible)
Our goal is to move to one of two school districts since they are highly rated. I'd rather do that then spend the money for $$$ elementary school.
These are the costs of my school for this upcoming school year: Numbers include tuition and all fees that pay for technology, retreats, meals, parent organizations and athletics. <-- But everything is included including lunch and field trips Montessori (18 months old-Kindergarten)
Early Beginnings Half day: $6,800 Full day: $12,800 Preschool Half day: $11,335 Kindergarten Full day: $20,825
Lower School (Grades 1-5)
Day Student: $21,075
Lower School (Grade 6)
Day Student: $21,575
Middle School (Grades 7-8)
Day Student: $26,850 Resident Student: $41,900*
Upper School (Grades 9-12)
Day Student: $28,400 Resident Student: $41,900*
My parents paid $20k (I think) my senior year of high school. So in 10 years its gone up $8k. I don't think your numbers are that far off.
DD1 starts kindergarten on Friday, so I don't have first hand experience yet, but so far I'm very happy with our choice. The private schools do offer some stuff that public schools can't, such as less standardized testing, smaller class sizes, more individual attention. But I'm okay with the trade offs. And I don't just mean money. I feel like a lot of times kids do better in public school because they aren't coddled as much. There's also a tendency for prestigious and expensive private schools to let kids get away with stuff because mom and dad are paying so much to send their kids there that they expect to not be challenged and to be able to do what they want.
ETA: I realized after I wrote the last bit that it sounded very judgy. I don't mean it that way -- I know a lot of kids to great in private schools, and there are some wonderful private schools. I was thinking in particular of a little girl from DD1's pre-K class who is starting at a very expensive private school this year. The child doesn't play well with others, and mom and dad are sort of detached and love her dearly but let her get away with murder. I made a comment to a friend that she was going to this private school, and maybe they'd get her to start behaving. The friend (who is a child counselor and has seen kids from all the area schools) laughed and said that no way -- that school would let her continue to get away with whatever she wanted. So that's jading my perspective. :-)
This is so not the case. Every private school we toured, and the one we ended up at, challenge and discipline. And they don't put up with parents saying 'well we pay to send our kids here, so they can do what they want'. They would be like okay, see you later, you're out. This case you are talking about is definitely not the norm.
I always wonder why there is so much private school hate in general. I get it in real life, and it comes across that way on here too (not this post, but on this board). Every family has to make the right choice for their kids, and for some families that is choosing private over public.
I know this isn't just directed at me, but I just wanted to say that I am definitely not against all private schools by any means!! I went to private school for some of my schooling, and I know of several great private schools in other cities.
I just didn't want you to think I was judging you for choosing private school :-)
I'm in SBISD, and zoned to most of the better schools, so we really feel like we have a best of both worlds with location and schools. (If you're interested in SBISD, pm me and I can give you some still affordable neighborhood recs)We're planning on doing public because of this, but we did look at one private pre-k. The tour was amazing and I loved it, but ultimately decided if we started there, I wouldn't want to leave and wasn't ready to commit to 13 years of private. I think the start in pre-k and then see if he qualifies for gt is a good idea in theory, but I just don't think many people would opt out after experiencing it for a couple years.
I think most of the elementary schools in HISD do a decent job. Middle school is where the biggest concern is to me, so unless I was planning to be in private for the long haul, I'd probably try my hand at the testing, do public for elementary and then reconsider for middle school. While I think you're right about pre-k being the best entry spot for elementary, I understand that 6th grade isn't as hard as trying to get in during the middle of elementary.
The after school costs/summer costs are a fixed cost, whether you are in public or private. A public school doesn't watch your kids for free once school ends.
I just think your numbers are more realistic for middle and high school than for elementary, which is what you are asking about.
I'm asking about all of them since we would send him to private through 12 grade (hence the 30k being an average since I think we'll come in slightly under the first few years and end up over the last few years). Also, those specific numbers I listed were for pre-K and books go up every year from there (plus tuition increases).
Plus, like I said - after school and summer costs would not exist for PK3 and PK4 if he stayed in daycare in my building, which is 7am - 6pm year around and like 750 a month at that age.
I've also agreed with you multiple times that some of this is fixed. But I know you like arguing with me, so whatever.
It has nothing to do with arguing with you. But a few people in here are all aghast at paying $30k for kindergarten (rightfully so) and I am simply saying that it isn't actually that much. But it's much of a muchness, because I imagine paying $20k for kindergarten would cause an equal amount of indignation, and either you can imagine paying for private school or you can't and trust me, as someone who is paying now and will be for the next 14 years before we even add in college costs, I get it. It is expensive. It is why we aren't having a third.
This is so not the case. Every private school we toured, and the one we ended up at, challenge and discipline. And they don't put up with parents saying 'well we pay to send our kids here, so they can do what they want'. They would be like okay, see you later, you're out. This case you are talking about is definitely not the norm.
I always wonder why there is so much private school hate in general. I get it in real life, and it comes across that way on here too (not this post, but on this board). Every family has to make the right choice for their kids, and for some families that is choosing private over public.
I know this isn't just directed at me, but I just wanted to say that I am definitely not against all private schools by any means!! I went to private school for some of my schooling, and I know of several great private schools in other cities.
I just didn't want you to think I was judging you for choosing private school :-)
It wasn't at you! It is a theme I see whenever private school is mentioned on here.
Post by irishbride2 on Aug 20, 2014 16:51:33 GMT -5
For me, personally, education is extremely important. I would want to send my kids to the best school for them (because there is not singular BEST school) if I could afford it. That doesn't mean it will be private. Every area is different.
In my area, there is no question. My kids will go private. But there are other places where we would send them to public schools. Also, for us, the private school they will go to is more diverse in most ways than our zoned schools. (our schools are pretty segregated). So it all depends.
Off topic, but are people really learning Mandarin at these schools? Of all the people I know who went to schools that taught Mandarin (myself included), I know no one who actually speaks it. My friend who went to Andover doesn't speak another language at all. Maybe she was just a huge failure?
How hard did she try? I mean, DH is good at languages, but his dad spoke to him in Italian growing up and his grade school taught him Latin. So I think he just had an ear for it before he got started on Mandarin.
But I've seen him go from not knowing the Cyrillic alphabet to speaking basic conversational Russian in 6 months with just weekly classes and a bit of self-study, so maybe he's just a freak.
As for the current tri-lingual set up, I don't know if they've been doing it long enough to know whether or not it's effective
You're kind of proving your own point here. In your follow up posts, you describe your DH's successes and attribute it to his education. A lot of it probably is due to that. But you can't overlook the roles that genetics and parental involvement play. Your DH is multilingual because he's smart and has an ear for languages. His parents worked with him on his acquisition of Italian. He passed some of those genes on to your son. Chances are your son will do well wherever he goes. The "best of the best" is nice to have, obviously. But in some cases it can be overkill. Particularly if have to make a lot of sacrifices to obtain it.
We recently moved out of an "ok" school district to a "really good" school district. From a $230k house to a $375k house. But we feel that by paying slightly higher mortgage, and slightly higher taxes, we are providing our kids a much better public education than if we hadn't moved.
Post by teatimefor2 on Aug 20, 2014 17:29:12 GMT -5
I haven't read all the replies. We looked at private schools when we considered moving south. The schools we would have available to us were ranked lower than we would consider. That was one of the reasons we stayed in the Northeast.
Right now, DS and our future children will go public. Education was our top three requirements when selecting where to live and I am so pleased about everything I've hear and read about our school district.
I also firmly believe that education is not proper schooling alone. Holidays exploring the world, summer camps (space camp) and other activities are essential. Not paying for private school means we can also provide theses opportunities for our kids without worry.
Post by imojoebunny on Aug 20, 2014 17:29:48 GMT -5
We have one child in public school and one child in private school. Private school is $18k a year + about $1k in donations. Public school on a good district isn't free either, taxes are high and house prices are 1/3 higher than similar close by houses not in district. For us, private school offers DD many things public school failed to offer her that she needed. For the people who think you can make up for 6.5 hours of the wrong kind of education in the afternoons or weekends, you may be able to, we were not able to. It was a nightmare of stress to try to either research or pay people to do so for hours after school to help DD keep up. Her time at school was largely wasted in public school.
We moved to a different district, with a priority on having kids reach their potential, not just state mandated minimums. We just started DS there in kinder two weeks ago, so far, so good. DD will remain in private school because even in this well funded, well supported district, class sizes and a lower emphasis on individual education are still not enough to reach her potential, so the expense of private school is worth it.
Honestly I think irish hit a big point. It's not about the best school, it's the best school for HIM (your DS). That may be the expensive private school. It may me the public school. It's hard to make that call now of course. But I would tell your H to take a step back and be a bit more reasonable about his expectations.
I'll just hang out here in SC where most of the schools aren't all that great, but they're also not all that bad and all private schools are religious, so I'm don't have any interest in looking into them.
@littlemoxie I have an HISD magnet school question. If the school that you are zoned to is a magnet, do you still have to apply to be in the magnet program, or are you automatically in? For example, if it is an IB magnet school, is everyone there in the IB program?
DH is suggesting we live with his mom so we don't have to pay after school care costs. And that by not wanting to do that, I'm essentially saying "fuck DS" because I don't want to give him the best education. **Also, did you guys know that anyone going to public school can't be an engineer since they didn't learn anything?
I'm not responding nicely to that.
**ETA: He didn't really say that, I'm exaggerating.
LOL. *waves at Mr. Moxie* I lived in an extremely rural area growing up and went to small public schools. 30K is what I spent on tuition for my first year of medical school; I cannot imagine spending that for elementary school. DH also went to an average public school and is a civil engineer.
Post by wanderlustmom on Aug 20, 2014 21:56:53 GMT -5
I agree that you have to look at the best fit for your child.
We decided on public and a point nobody has made--we wanted a community school. It's important to us they go to school with their neighbors. So much easier to have quality time by running next door versus arranging a car play date.
Also I would need to work full time and I very much like my 20 hour week. Our trips would be more drive to the beach versus fly to Europe.
We bought in the best public school district in the state and I agree there are trade offs. We do need to supplement a lot at home (even with gifted and talented) , bigger class sizes and less differentiated learning. Also Kirkette is right--wealthy public still has plenty of out of touch dilemmas. But overall, I volunteer a lot at the school which makes it feel smaller and I advocate for my kids to get the strong teachers. DH went to terrible terrible schools and still managed to get a scholarship for engineering.
@littlemoxie I have an HISD magnet school question. If the school that you are zoned to is a magnet, do you still have to apply to be in the magnet program, or are you automatically in? For example, if it is an IB magnet school, is everyone there in the IB program?
There are separate classes for magnet and neighborhood kids. You'd be in the neighborhood class in your IB school if you aren't accepted into the IB program.
We're in a similar situation, with the roles reversed. The elementary school closest to us reopens in a few weeks after a huge remodel, and is looking very promising (great principal, programs, etc.), but as of right now the boundaries put us at a different school (we miss "good school" by literally a block). Boundaries change, wavers happen, etc., so I'm trying not to stress yet, but I definitely am leaning toward private school if E can't attend "good school." H is on the fence.
I will say that in our case, the private elementaries I'm interested in are ~$10-14k a year, and we would likely utilize YMCA after-school care, so the total annual cost would be more like $20k.
How does it look for you after elementary school? is there a K-8 choice school in your area that's better than Notsogood Elementary? Maybe H can be convinced if E will be back in public school after elementary.
We don't have to worry until high school, but they've promised to redraw the maps between now and then because of rising enrollment. Plus, get a grip niq, that's like fourteen years from now.
I agree that you have to look at the best fit for your child.
We decided on public and a point nobody has made--we wanted a community school. It's important to us they go to school with their neighbors. So much easier to have quality time by running next door versus arranging a car play date.
Also I would need to work full time and I very much like my 20 hour week. Our trips would be more drive to the beach versus fly to Europe.
We bought in the best public school district in the state and I agree there are trade offs. We do need to supplement a lot at home (even with gifted and talented) , bigger class sizes and less differentiated learning. Also Kirkette is right--wealthy public still has plenty of out of touch dilemmas. But overall, I volunteer a lot at the school which makes it feel smaller and I advocate for my kids to get the strong teachers. DH went to terrible terrible schools and still managed to get a scholarship for engineering.
Interestingly we have found a community private school where we have 4 kids from our street at the same school, so we kind of have the best of both. It is also why we picked the school we did, because it is a 'neighborhood' school.
I think we both live in the same city (ATL) and you live where I went to school, if I remember from other posts. The amount of wealth at my high school is definitely comparable to the amount of wealth at the private school we are at now. I grew up in a white bubble (everyone called our school the EC snobs) and that area is definitely not the real world.
This is such a personal decision. Whatever one you choose does not equate to loving your child any more or less.
Having said that, I graduated from a not so great HISD school. However teachers saw my potential and automatically placed me in more challenging classes(Honors classes). Im an engineer now.
We have moved to the burbs because they have better schools. Thats as far as we are willing to go for now.
private schools may be more beneficial for high school, if the hisd school is not great.
Good luck and hope you and your DH come to a compromise.
Post by irishbride2 on Aug 21, 2014 8:49:10 GMT -5
I will add, that even though I am a middle and high school teacher, I would rather pay for the best elem school than later years. The best foundation is important.
**Obviously the best is not always the private option. I'm just responding the widespread belief that its only worth it to pay for high school.
There are separate classes for magnet and neighborhood kids. You'd be in the neighborhood class in your IB school if you aren't accepted into the IB program.
Just saw this.
So like River Oaks Elementary (hahaha, at anyone living in River Oaks sending their kid to public school) is a vanguard school, so you have to test into GT to get in. If you're just some lowly River Oaks kid, are there seriously special "bad" classes for you?
I may be able to actually answer this exact question for you by the end of next week. H's druggie aunt just went to the courthouse last Tuesday and got hitched to some guy in RO and her daughter will be starting at RO Elementary next week.
I'm nervous for the kid, I'm curious how the dynamics shake out there.
I agree that you have to look at the best fit for your child.
We decided on public and a point nobody has made--we wanted a community school. It's important to us they go to school with their neighbors. So much easier to have quality time by running next door versus arranging a car play date.
Also I would need to work full time and I very much like my 20 hour week. Our trips would be more drive to the beach versus fly to Europe.
We bought in the best public school district in the state and I agree there are trade offs. We do need to supplement a lot at home (even with gifted and talented) , bigger class sizes and less differentiated learning. Also Kirkette is right--wealthy public still has plenty of out of touch dilemmas. But overall, I volunteer a lot at the school which makes it feel smaller and I advocate for my kids to get the strong teachers. DH went to terrible terrible schools and still managed to get a scholarship for engineering.
Interestingly we have found a community private school where we have 4 kids from our street at the same school, so we kind of have the best of both. It is also why we picked the school we did, because it is a 'neighborhood' school.
I am not aware of a single family in my neighborhood (which admittedly is not that large--we are talking maybe 20 families with school aged kids) that uses our public schools. Every kid in the neighborhood goes to one of three private schools. Honestly, I have never met a single person who has kids who attend the public elementary we are zoned to. Ironically, one of the reasons we decided on private school is because I want my kids to go to school with neighborhood friends, and that necessitates private school. Everyone I know in my area who uses public school lives in the suburbs, and we don't want to live in the suburbs (and, while free, as others have touched on, the "good" suburban schools are just as filled with entitled kids and just as lacking in diversity as the private schools). It is a really warped system, and I kind of hate myself for contributing to the problem by choosing private school. But I don't want to send my kids to a school that is universally thought of as terrible either.
I may be able to actually answer this exact question for you by the end of next week. H's druggie aunt just went to the courthouse last Tuesday and got hitched to some guy in RO and her daughter will be starting at RO Elementary next week.
I'm nervous for the kid, I'm curious how the dynamics shake out there.
Ugh. I hope it works out for the kid. I can see it going either way with a fresh start at ROE.
Let me know what you find out.
I'm going to take her shopping over the weekend to help her get some more appropriate clothes for school, I'm worried about her fitting in with not being a magnet kid but also definitely not being a RO kid. I kind of feel like she's being sent into the lion's den, but I'm hopeful that maybe she's young enough that some of that mean girl shit won't be as awful as I'm imagining it.
@littlemoxie - I'm pretty sure we're in the same area. We are literally across the street from the last block inside the "good" public school district in our area. It's incredibly frustrating but I do plan to try for that school or another a bit further to the east of us (maybe you know what I'm referring to). This post is giving me so much anxiety. My daughter is 13 months and I really haven't done enough research on the schools in the area, we've been here about 1.5 years so we're still pretty new to the area.
adlove, we need to meet up! I do know the one further east - the "two-tiered" one I think. We got here 2.5 years ago and only moved to this house in November of 2012. I'm going to ask the neighborhood mom's group and can share the results (if you're not also in the group).
I also fully realize I'm being a bit crazy about this. I talked to a co-worker about the problems they had getting their kid into a good kindergarten, which is what kicked all of this off.
I should join that moms group, definitely let me know what they say. I love our house and would be hesitant to move the short distance to be within the more favorable zone, and I'm really not clear on just how difficult it will be to get into one of those two schools. My husband and I both went to private (Catholic) schools but I'm not sure I want that for our kids. Can you PM me the private schools you are thinking about? And yes we really should meet up some time!
All I have to add at this point is my cousins live in a River Oaks! I think my cousins went to boarding school. And now all of them are working extremely regular jobs, lol, I think they were /are unmotivated because they think they will get trust funds.
Yeah. I told DH (I realize this wasn't nice, whatever) that he either hung out with the slackers or Andover was not that great, because I haven't been that impressed with any of his friends that I met.
I think the big difference is that I think giving a kid "everything" is a handicap, whereas he thinks that's the gold standard for which we should be aiming.
Haha, a friend of mine from college went to Andover. It was actually kind of interesting social experiment in a way - he was Korean, and one of my best friends from college was Chinese. These two were the only two Asians in their small town in western TN. She went to the public HS, his parents sent him to Andover so he'd have more exposure and be in a more diverse environment. From what I gather (another friend of mine from college dated him and seh went to a public school in Houston!!!), he spent a lot of time just smoking weed. Like he studied abroad for a summer program and just got high every day and went to the Corte Ingles, lol (the department store). My good friend and he both ended up at the same college and I think she is doing significantly better than him now.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. anecdotes from a person on the internet.
ETA - to clarify, the reason I mentioned they were Asian, lol, is because thats why his parents wanted him to go to HS out of their town - they didnt want him to be one of the only two Asians there.
I'll just hang out here in SC where most of the schools aren't all that great, but they're also not all that bad and all private schools are religious, so I'm don't have any interest in looking into them.
I really love it when I miss typos in statements like this. lol.