Are you 2 and done? Two seems to be the ideal number for most. And since I have a girl and a boy, everyone says it's perfect.
DS is almost 15mos (kid 2). I've been 100% sure I'm done with 2 even before I got pregnant with kid #2.
Then last night, I was talking to my sis about having babies. I told her I'm 100% done though when I was young I've always thought I'll have 4 kids too like our parents. Now this morning, I'm asking myself if I'm really done. It doesn't help looking at my kids' pictures. LOL. Now, my 100% I'm done decision doesn't seem to be 100% anymore. I'm questioning it.
I'm 100% done in my head, but my heart does get a bit sad that there will never be more babies. Packing up and selling stuff has been more emotional than I thought it would be.
Still, 2 is a good number for us for many reasons, so I doubt we'll go for 3. We're putting off permanent measures for a few more years, though. I'm only 32, my youngest is only 1 year old, and my 100% is probably more like 95%. I'm not ready to totally close that door yet.
I think we're done with any planned pregnancies. IF we had surprise pregnancy I'd be fine with it. (I have an IUD so I'm really not expecting anything to happen).
I feel like the ideal for MMM is three. I want two but only have one currently. I don't think I have the right personality for more than two (and even two may be a stretch)
Post by Velar Fricative on Aug 20, 2014 10:39:02 GMT -5
We only have one right now but we are already 100% sure we'll be Two and Done if we have a second. Well, unless my next pregnancy gives us multiples OMG.
I think big families are fun and DH and I both enjoy our big families, but financially it's just not realistic for us. Plus, unless we get twins for pregnancy #2 I just don't have the desire to raise more than two.
I feel like the ideal for MMM is three. I want two but only have one currently. I don't think I have the right personality for more than two (and even two may be a stretch)
Really? Hmm... It seems like two is the default. But yeah, I have seen several posts from people saying they theoretically would like more than two, but resources (financial, mental, psychological) stop them from having any more.
I love having kids but there's only so much of me to go around, and given our jobs and lifestyle I don't think a third would be fair to anyone. I think it's normal to feel as you do regardless of the number you have.
You're right. I think I'll still have these feelings regardless how many kids I have.
Post by matildasun on Aug 20, 2014 10:44:23 GMT -5
We are done with two, because of our age and our small house. I am sad that my days of being pregnant and breastfeeding are over, but know it is for the best.
I am pretty adamant that we are done with 2. I feel like 3 would bring too many lifestyle changes- we couldn't travel as much, different cars, etc and I just don't want to be pregnant again, especially since I will likely have gestational diabetes with all future pregnancies. DH has been passively trying to convince me we should have a third especially since this last delivery went so well.
I have two boys and part of me is done. The other part of me always imagined having a daughter. It's weird to miss a person who was never born. I know that's flammable on here. MH definitely wants one more. We are going to wait until DS2 turns 2 and discuss then.
Well fwiw, I think a lot of people have a nagging feeling even when circumstances mean they are absolutely done. We have three and while I have NO interest in being pg. or having a newborn again, I sometimes play around with the idea of another kid. But we have so many reasons for why that would be a bad idea that I know it is never going to happen.
I think it normal for it to feel bitter sweet when you close a chapter. Even if you have six kids and are deciding not to have anymore.
Post by CrazyLucky on Aug 20, 2014 10:50:58 GMT -5
We are two and done. I had my tubes tied. I get annoyed when people say something that indicates it was ok for me to stop because I have one of each, but if I had two boys, I would have kept going. We didn't know what DD was until after I signed the consent form for the tubal.
I had mine at 33 and 36. I know people can and do have kids a lot older, but we're happy with being done. We still have a goal of retiring at 60, and having more kids means we won't make that goal (which isn't a dealbreaker, the original goal was to retire at 55, it just makes the goal less likely to be acheived.)
I'm one of four, and I can get the desire for a large family. When I was pregnant with #2, I had fears about whether I would love her as much as I loved #1. How could I love anyone else that much. But your love is infinite, so now I can understand even better why people like to have a lot of kids.
If the tubal fails and we have another soon, I'd be ok with it. If the tubal fails and we have another when these two are older, like 10 and 12, I'll cry. I don't want to start over!
Post by sometimesrunner on Aug 20, 2014 10:51:07 GMT -5
I only have one, but we want two. I like the *idea* of three kids, I don't like the work involved. There aren't any girls on H's side of the family so we'd be trying for a looooooong time to get a girl. No thank you.
We are 50% sure we will try for a third, but we will see. We don't have a huge house but we have the potential to expand it if necessary and daycare at my work is relatively affordable as centers go. So i think we could definitely make it work with 3.
my issue is that I will not try to get pregnant with a third unless I am 100% comfortable with the idea of three boys (since this second one is a boy too) and I am not sure I am there yet. I'm maybe 75% of the way there though. the thought of htis being my last pregnancy makes me sad and I've noticed h and I both talk like a third is pretty much assumed.
so we will see. I'm not opposed to two kids, and I think if we do stop after this one it will be fine, but I think we both feel the tug for a third.
I have two boys and part of me is done. The other part of me always imagined having a daughter. It's weird to miss a person who was never born. I know that's flammable on here. MH definitely wants one more. We are going to wait until DS2 turns 2 and discuss then.
I don't think thats flammable at all. I think its natural to always want a daughter (or a son). If I think of having three boys, I do get sad bc that would mean not having a daughter.
I think it's only flammable when that sadness prevents you from loving and parenting your children.
Post by gibbinator on Aug 20, 2014 10:55:43 GMT -5
We're 99% sure we're two and through. We've both always pictured a 4 person family, and adding a 3rd kid would require several lifestyle changes -mini van or suv, downgrade to a larger but less nice house, I'd probably have to sah until elementary school for us to afford it. Being pregnant again has really cemented how much I don't want to do this again. I hate being pregnant. Dh and I are also not baby people and are not looking forward to the next 12 months.
It's not totally off the table though. If dh came to me in 2 years and said he really really wanted another baby I'd be open to the idea. Similarly if I changed my mind, I suspect he'd be ok with 3.
It is a bit annoying that people are asking if we're going to have 3 to try for a girl. No, I'm perfectly happy with my house full of boys, tyvm.
Post by juliette21 on Aug 20, 2014 10:59:34 GMT -5
We are definitely "two and through" over here.
We were always in the 2 camp, but then for a little while after DS2 was born we talked about having another. He was such a good baby, and we were madly in love and maybe a bit hormonal. Also, the thought of never being pregnant, giving birth, and having a newborn was just so sad to me. I hate "lasts" and "goodbyes" with anything, so it was very emotional to me thinking I would never have another baby.
Then DS2 got mobile and we shut that shit down fast, LOL. It is a LOT of work having 2 young boys, and the finances are just as overwhelming. Daycare for 2 is killing us, and now that there is a light at the end of the tunnel with DS1 starting Kindergarten next month, I am not so sure I want to sign up for 5+ more years of $$$ childcare.
I often feel my heart and head are not on the same page when it comes to having another baby, but I know in the end we are 99.9% sure we are done.
I am 99% sure we are done. H wants another but our kids are 6 and 9. Who wants to go back? Also their activities only are getting more expensive and I don't want to force them to cut back to afford another. It's more important for me to provide the two I have with everything I can over meeting a desire for another baby.
Pregnancy and baby making has been diffcult on my soul, our marriage and my career. I think I have reached that point where enough is enough.
This is where I am as well. I always said I wanted 3 bc I am 1 of 3 and my H who is 1 of 2 always wanted another sibling but its just been too taxing on me emotionally and physically to get to this point. It's been such a long haul to actually get to this point in a pregnancy that I am just really excited to meet #2.
I think we're done with any planned pregnancies. IF we had surprise pregnancy I'd be fine with it. (I have an IUD so I'm really not expecting anything to happen).
This is us, exactly.
I have two boys, and I also hate when people think I should want a girl. Having two of the same sex is so fun...and easier and cheaper, too! I joke that if I knew I was guaranteed to have another boy, we MIGHT have a third, but at this point, a girl scares me! I'm well-versed in construction trucks, dirt, and planes. I don't want to learn princesses and tea parties, too! (And I'm THRILLED to be heading to Disney this fall without having to wait in the ridiculous princess autograph lines!)
I always thought Id want one of each, but I'm thrilled with my two loud, crazy boys.
We always wanted 2 and expected to be done at 2, it took 6 rounds of IVF to have our kids so there's no reason on earth we should feel anything but very fortunate to have our family just as we envisioned. BUT the other day I was thinking I wouldn't be opposed to more. I think it's just my nature to always sort of wonder.