Post by thinkofthesoldiers on Sept 19, 2014 22:18:41 GMT -5
Look, all the judging of what she does with the time while the OP is taking care of the kids is irrelevant. Really. She could be napping in her room and ignoring the kids, but it doesn't matter one bit to the point of this post.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Sept 20, 2014 7:18:22 GMT -5
No response as yet. I'm heading to class and then my parents are coming over so I may not be able to update as quickly as possible (assuming she does reply) but I will as soon as I can.
I am way over invested in this. I hope you get out of there and can find a job you love! Her expectations are ridiculous and I'm glad you're beginning the process of standing up to her.
I'm surprised that the main gist of your email focused on purely prioritizing the list. I mean, the list is ridiculous, yes...but you're not even getting paid appropriately to try to attempt to prioritize her list. I would tell her that IF she wants you to tackle a prioritized list of duties that extend beyond the initial discussion of "light housework," then your rate will increase to $XX/hour ($25 or 30?) effective immediately. I would absolutely not be prioritizing anything on her list at all unless she pays you a higher rate for being both her nanny AND her maid.
I'm surprised that the main gist of your email focused on purely prioritizing the list. I mean, the list is ridiculous, yes...but you're not even getting paid appropriately to try to attempt to prioritize her list. I would tell her that IF she wants you to tackle a prioritized list of duties that extend beyond the initial discussion of "light housework," then your rate will increase to $XX/hour ($25 or 30?) effective immediately. I would absolutely not be prioritizing anything on her list at all unless she pays you a higher rate for being both her nanny AND her maid.
This is where I'm at. Your focus should be on the kids and any tasks directly related to them. Maybe once she "prioritizes" the list, you can tell her that you can do 1 or 2 things for her. She is completely ridiculous.
I don't know that I would expect a big dramatic or crazy response to the email you sent. If I were a crazy lady and read your email I would think "cool, she can do most of it," and go about my weekend excited about my new free housekeeper, lol.
I kind of wish you had posted it here *before* sending it to her; we could have helped you tighten it up a bit and actually get your point across. She's not going to receive a "this is far too much" message because you didn't send one. In fact, I fear you may have made things harder for yourself by saying some of the list is doable. Hopefully I'm wrong about that. If nothing else, the email may open the lines of communication so you can say what you actually need to say, which is that your three hour shift is full, and you won't be able to add more duties while still completing the ones you already have. Good luck!
Wait you cut strawberries for a seven and nine year old? And pour drinks?
This part is as crazy to me as the list of demands. This woman seems super lazy, I don't see how her kids made it this far being so needy. And I say this as the founding member of the Association of Lazy Mothers. Any decent lazy parent knows that kids are free labor lol...why is she (barely) paying someone to do what these kids should be doing?
I'm here, too. I have an 8 year old. He is perfectly capable of pouring his own drinks except when the bottle of juice or the milk carton is super full because it's heavier and harder to control and he spills But he gets it out, gets out a cup and tries and asks for help if needed. Blueberries don't need to be cut for kids that age and they are perfectly capable of grabbing a handful and washing them. Strawberries don't need to be cut either, but both ds and I prefer them cut. But, ds has his own knife that he uses to cut produce that is kid safe and I am not worried about him cutting himself. They are here. www.amazon.com/Curious-Chef-3-Piece-Nylon-Knife/dp/B002Q5YH9C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1411233055&sr=8-1&keywords=kid+knife
This woman sounds not only crazy for expecting you to do all that shit, but also crazy for thinking her 7 and 9 year old are not capable of doing some of those things. Really? Those kids are going to be the ones who show up at college and don't know how to cook themselves dinner.
I'm surprised that the main gist of your email focused on purely prioritizing the list. I mean, the list is ridiculous, yes...but you're not even getting paid appropriately to try to attempt to prioritize her list. I would tell her that IF she wants you to tackle a prioritized list of duties that extend beyond the initial discussion of "light housework," then your rate will increase to $XX/hour ($25 or 30?) effective immediately. I would absolutely not be prioritizing anything on her list at all unless she pays you a higher rate for being both her nanny AND her maid.
But she works a set schedule and doesn't have enough time to complete the tasks. Getting more money per hour doesn't magically mean she has time to do things. I'm pretty sure op said she couldn't come earlier or stay later.
I'm suggesting that she ask for more money if this lady wants her to prioritize the list. Not that she needs more money to get all of the tasks done, but that she needs more money for even thinking about prioritizing anything for this lady beyond caring for the kids. Or quit. Which I would probably be more tempted to do.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Sept 21, 2014 18:19:21 GMT -5
She replied. Unfortunately, for MM pleasure, it actually went well. She asked me to help her prioritize the important things and tell her what I wanted to delete off the list. I'm still annoyed that there IS a list however, I replied and told her the things I was absolutely NOT willing to do (nor do I have the time) and the important things that I am willing to do (the stuff that centre around the kids). She agrees that the priority is the children and all the things that goes with the children (homework, lunch, dinner). She also agreed to my point about feeling pressured with such little time and that the list is too much.
So, here's to hoping things get better. I think she is truly oblivious to how much time certain things take and that my time is limited.
Thank you for all your support and advice! I'm pretty glad I approached it the way I did. It would have been nice to do it in person however, I was off on Friday for school and she is gone Monday-Wednesday with her class. So, I didn't want to wait until Thursday.
I bet she showed the list to someone and they told her she was off her rocker,lol. Glad it went well, and you get to keep your job with children you like, and don't have to clean toilets.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Sept 21, 2014 18:52:19 GMT -5
Just the ones that I already do: prepping lunch, prepping dinner, and homework help. Also, washing dishes that are used but that's a given and just tidying up after they're done eating, which I do anyways. If I have time, I don't mind swiffering and I don't mind putting laundry away but that's depending on if I have the time and those are it.
i have 2 kids those ages plus 2 more younger & i could do the daily list & maybe some of the weekly in 3hours 40min a day but i do not sit supervise homework, xtramath or piano/guitar practice (my kids do all these same things daily). I also wouldn't really expect a nanny to do housekeeping though. i think $15/hr is great for that..but then again i made $17.50hr as a 37yr old P/T Architect 2yrs ago & when I nannied I made like $3.50/hr...lol. I cant believe how much people are paid these days...sucks to be an old fart.
She replied. Unfortunately, for MM pleasure, it actually went well. She asked me to help her prioritize the important things and tell her what I wanted to delete off the list. I'm still annoyed that there IS a list however, I replied and told her the things I was absolutely NOT willing to do (nor do I have the time) and the important things that I am willing to do (the stuff that centre around the kids). She agrees that the priority is the children and all the things that goes with the children (homework, lunch, dinner). She also agreed to my point about feeling pressured with such little time and that the list is too much.
So, here's to hoping things get better. I think she is truly oblivious to how much time certain things take and that my time is limited.
Thank you for all your support and advice! I'm pretty glad I approached it the way I did. It would have been nice to do it in person however, I was off on Friday for school and she is gone Monday-Wednesday with her class. So, I didn't want to wait until Thursday.
Based on some of your follow up comments, i.e. her heading upstairs to do yoga, grandma preparing dinner, etc., I wonder if she has never done many of the items on her list herself. So, you may be right that she is oblivious to how long things might take.