I'm very upset for you that he woke you up unprovoked and sent you home. He woke up his sleeping pregnant girlfriend because he was having too many feeeeelings. Fucker. Fuck that!
Definitely don't contact him. Definitely expect a sincere heartfelt apology. And start asking yourself if this is who YOU want to be with. His behavior was very selfish. Even if he's mad at you, there was no reason to wake you and make you leave except to prove a point.
Also, STOP apologizing for the pregnancy and insisting that it wasn't a trap. I mean this lovingly but it makes you sound desparate for his approval. Stand up tall and tell him he did this too and BC fails and you're not taking full responsibility anymore. He has every right to be upset, but you're not the punching bag.
So many hugs. I'm so sorry he let you down.
I want to quote this so you'll read it again. ((Hugs))
I think it's normal to have these feelings. I'm sure you had them; but you didn't have anyone to blame. And it sucks that he is doing this while you are also struggling. But you were as honest and timely as possible.
Hopefully he'll realize you're on the same team and can just go through this together. And if not we are here for you. I know it's not the same but it's true.
I know you didnt mean it this way, but it reads as though all the blame is on her. He could have worn a condom or pulled out. Or both. There's nobody to blame. It just happened.
Like I said, I know you didn't mean it the way it read, but since she is already doing a fair amount of self blaming, I didn't want her to read that think, "see, it is my fault."
no of course not. Plus after readings suesue reply I feel inadequate. Listen to her not me.
I'm so sorry about how he is treating you MB. I hope I don't come off like a mega bitch because that isn't my intention, but are you sure you weren't trying to get PG? I think you need to be honest with yourself. You said in your other post your LMP was less than a month away from when you started taking pregnancy tests? Why did you suspect pregnancy so early while on the pill? There are no brands where an entire pack is less than 28 days. I'm just saying, maybe he is recognizing holes in your timeline as well and he could be pissed about that. Be honest with yourself and him. I would give him all the space and wait for him to make the next move. Again, I am sorry things are not going well
Whoooooooooooooa.
My knee jerk reaction was to insert the wrestler gif. But bab is encouraging her to look into her truth mirror.
I'm so sorry about how he is treating you MB. I hope I don't come off like a mega bitch because that isn't my intention, but are you sure you weren't trying to get PG? I think you need to be honest with yourself. You said in your other post your LMP was less than a month away from when you started taking pregnancy tests? Why did you suspect pregnancy so early while on the pill? There are no brands where an entire pack is less than 28 days. I'm just saying, maybe he is recognizing holes in your timeline as well and he could be pissed about that. Be honest with yourself and him. I would give him all the space and wait for him to make the next move. Again, I am sorry things are not going well
If her last period was the 4th I just did not understand testing 3 weeks later if she was taking the pill. She would likely have still been on active pills. Look, I understand her BF was responsible for wearing a condom if he was seriously against pregnancy but the timeline was a bit off. I'm just saying that may have been why he freaked.
I don't know the backstory, but I'm sorry you're going through this.
I would give this guy the time to think that he's requested. I know that's probably easier said than done, but it doesn't seem like it will do any good to "bug" him for answers now.
In the mean time, be good to yourself, take time to think about what you want, regardless of what the guy wants. If you need to, seek out a counselor to help you process some feelings. Although friends are great for support, sometimes you can be more open with a professional who isn't personally involved in the situation.
I'm so sorry about how he is treating you MB. I hope I don't come off like a mega bitch because that isn't my intention, but are you sure you weren't trying to get PG? I think you need to be honest with yourself. You said in your other post your LMP was less than a month away from when you started taking pregnancy tests? Why did you suspect pregnancy so early while on the pill? There are no brands where an entire pack is less than 28 days. I'm just saying, maybe he is recognizing holes in your timeline as well and he could be pissed about that. Be honest with yourself and him. I would give him all the space and wait for him to make the next move. Again, I am sorry things are not going well
I'm so sorry about how he is treating you MB. I hope I don't come off like a mega bitch because that isn't my intention, but are you sure you weren't trying to get PG? I think you need to be honest with yourself. You said in your other post your LMP was less than a month away from when you started taking pregnancy tests? Why did you suspect pregnancy so early while on the pill? There are no brands where an entire pack is less than 28 days. I'm just saying, maybe he is recognizing holes in your timeline as well and he could be pissed about that. Be honest with yourself and him. I would give him all the space and wait for him to make the next move. Again, I am sorry things are not going well
I really am. I'm not trying to be a fucker. I love monterey as much as all of you.
Okay but wouldn't she *know* if she were trying to trap her boyfriend into a commitment via pregnancy? I mean do you really need a truth mirror for that level of shenanigans?
I don't view it as "shenanigans.". She just came out of a tough relationship. Sometimes we do things without consciously intending to do it.
bab she said her August 4 period was super light hence she tester with an early response test.
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OK I just saw LMP and my eyebrow raised. I've been on the pill forever which was why it seemed weird. Don't taze me bro!
Not tazing at all :-)
My hunch is that she may have tested too soon and she might be further along than she thinks, given the light august cycle. But I am certainly no doctor :-)
I don't view it as "shenanigans.". She just came out of a tough relationship. Sometimes we do things without consciously intending to do it.
Sometimes we get pregnant on purpose without consciously intending to do it? What?
No. If she got pregnant on purpose, that would be a fantastically shitty thing to do to her partner. Getting out of a tough relationship wouldn't absolve her of that. Jesus.
This is not what I'm saying and I think you know that. I simply asked WHY she would suspect pregnancy 3 weeks into a pack of pills. That is odd. You wouldn't have your period because you would still be on actives. Maybe she missed some pills and didnt mention it to him? Who knows.
I don't think speculating about the how and why is productive at this point. Shit happens.
It isn't unreasonable to want time to process what is happening. You aren't getting a puppy. You're giving birth to a child, who will grow into an adult, who you both will then be intrinsically connected to for the rest of your lives.
That's heavy shit.
In any case, you take care of YOU. I'm sorry this all is happening to you, monterey.
Post by frontbutt on Sept 20, 2014 13:50:11 GMT -5
I take continuous birth control and have for the past two years. Sometimes I have a period and sometimes I don't - every now and then I get paranoid and test. Birth control can fail even when you're taking it consistently. It doesn't mean she did it on purpose.
This is not what I'm saying and I think you know that. I simply asked WHY she would suspect pregnancy 3 weeks into a pack of pills. That is odd. You wouldn't have your period because you would still be on actives. Maybe she missed some pills and didnt mention it to him? Who knows.
You asked "are you sure you didn't get pregnant on purpose?" not "did you miss a couple pills that made you test early?"
It's just quite the accusation to level at someone already struggling and feeling really shitty.
I should have worded it differently. You're right. If pills were missed, I imagine he was made aware of it and was told they need a back up method. I'm prepared for my shunning now.
I'm so sorry about how he is treating you MB. I hope I don't come off like a mega bitch because that isn't my intention, but are you sure you weren't trying to get PG? I think you need to be honest with yourself. You said in your other post your LMP was less than a month away from when you started taking pregnancy tests? Why did you suspect pregnancy so early while on the pill? There are no brands where an entire pack is less than 28 days. I'm just saying, maybe he is recognizing holes in your timeline as well and he could be pissed about that. Be honest with yourself and him. I would give him all the space and wait for him to make the next move. Again, I am sorry things are not going well
Seriously?
The timeline for you and anyone else who thinks I was trying to get pregnant:
My last lmp was August 4 but it was really light. I took the test on August 28 because I had had some spotting, breast tenderness, and was generally exhausted even though I had been getting enough sleep. I was concerned that my lmp on Aug 4 wasn't really a period. The test came back negative so I figured my body was just being wonky and that was that.
Thank you to everyone else for the words of advice, support, and encouragement. I'm going to be fine.
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I apologize Monterey. I should never have suggested that.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
right now you really do need to get your ducks in a row, logistics wise, as if you'll be going it alone. Not only is it important to do, but it will provide you with the distraction you need right now while you're giving each other space. It will also give you some strength. You need to move out of the mode of things happening to you and into the mode of you making things happen.That's where your confidence will take root.
This is such good advice.
You'll be amazed at the strength you have inside you. Stop wasting time wondering what he is going to do or say, focus on what it takes to make your life happy and healthy. Good luck.
I'm so sorry about how he is treating you MB. I hope I don't come off like a mega bitch because that isn't my intention, but are you sure you weren't trying to get PG? I think you need to be honest with yourself. You said in your other post your LMP was less than a month away from when you started taking pregnancy tests? Why did you suspect pregnancy so early while on the pill? There are no brands where an entire pack is less than 28 days. I'm just saying, maybe he is recognizing holes in your timeline as well and he could be pissed about that. Be honest with yourself and him. I would give him all the space and wait for him to make the next move. Again, I am sorry things are not going well
I caught this too, but realized there was no way to say it right. There ARE holes. Either way, good luck MB.