Post by pinkdutchtulips on Oct 22, 2014 16:46:58 GMT -5
I've heard of redshirting for kinder by adding on another year of prek for those boys who need the year to mature up. I've NEVER heard of redshirting prior to entering prek to mature up ?!?
I agree w/ @irishbride2 in that the teacher should have stopped the conf IMMEDIATELY and ask that a more experienced teacher/admin sit in. that teacher didn't stand a chance from the onset.
I feel silly even suggesting it cuz it may already be done by now, but I'd write a letter detailing exactly why I am leaving to the director and how harmful "diagnoses" like hers are.
Her mentor was supposed to be at this meeting correct? What did that person have to say?
Her mentor had a child care issue and couldn't attend. Which sucks. And I really thought it would go better too. But when she couldn't get off the ground with even a throw away compliment I was like, fuck this.
At one point she suggested that I must secretly know something is not right with him or I wouldn't have immediately gotten him assessed. I explained that I got him assessed because it seemed like she was trying to label a three year old in some very consequential ways and I've read enough to know that once you let the genie out of the bottle with that, you can never put the lid back on. I wanted there to be absolutely no question in anyone's mind that K is absolutely normal.
I obviously wasn't there, so I don't know how it went down. But from your account it sounds like you went in guns blazing and she really didn't stand a chance.
Did she handle it well? Heck no. But I would have been quite taken aback if I were attacked that way. I would have (and have) immediately ended the conference and suggest (politely) we need an admin to join us. If a parent starts the conference ready for a fight, the teacher stands no chance.
If that isn't how it went down, then I understand. But it sounds like she was backed into a corner and instead of ended the conference, which she should of done, she handled it terribly.
**Even when teaching 8th through 12th grade, I would never directly answer the question "do you think my kid is smart" so I imagine a 3 year old teacher would not, either.
eta: I fully agree her expectations for 3 year old behavior are completely off. I would not want her teaching my kid, either.
I started the conference by saying that I would like to keep things as positive as possible and to that end would just like to have her offer one positive.statement of skills or positive impression she has about my son. She was unable to do it on the THREE separate attempts I made to direct the conversation in a positive way. I do not give a shit not a shit at all what people's impressions of this conversation were. This woman, without a preliminary phone call or correspondence, sent an official report home that suggesting 3 year old was autistic with ODD and ADHD. Also, processing disorder and language delay. The fact that I didn't.throw down an D bomb was more diplomacy than she frankly deserved. The fact I actually attempted to steer the conference in a positive direction (my pediatrician actually suggested this specific opening question) is fucking saintly of me. Form your impressions as you will. But I will shut your shit down if it is harmful to my kids.
Yeah, 2 things-- 1. I missed the OP in which this happened. Seriously, she wrote this? 2. Teachers are generally trained to front load the positive. Like "K LOVES story time and creative play, which is really fun to see him get into. However, K is far too exuberant and this makes him forget to keep his hands to himself." Or "Ann normally just likes to keep to herself and do her work, which I appreciate, but she really would not settle down this week, etc." So the conversation is weird that she didn't seem to WANT to.
So she sent you a report suggesting he might have all manner of possible diagnoses and was surprised you had him evaluated? I guess I don't understand that from any point of view. Whether you think he may have those issues or that he doesn't, isn't that the obvious response when faced with a list of things like that? To talk to someone - an expert - who can help you figure that out for sure?
What did she expect you would do with that info? Just say okay? Ignore it? Accept her diagnosis and do nothing?
There are really shitty teachers out there and I'm glad you are protecting your kid against one. I feel bad for the kids that are still in her class. I hope you are still going to file some kind of formal complaint against her because that needs attention.
BTW, I have complete faith in SBP that she tried to salvage this situation if possible and exhausted all avenues before going this route. She is logical, responsible, and thorough. This is different than the teacher shit stirring we may have seen here before.
I am getting horrific flashbacks from a year ago where my DDs old daycare tried to tell us her biting wasn't normal behavior for a 20 month old!!!!!!! And rather than self reflect on their possible contribution to her irritability they just made us feel like shit and sent us on our way (good riddance actually!). We too had her evaluated to which the doctor said "um, this is normal toddler behavior..." And he put it in a letter for the daycare. The daycare didn't care that it was normal they just couldn't/wouldn't deal with it in any meaningful way other than throw in the towel.
I fucking hate bad preschools.
Conversely, at her new preschool when shades of the biting/scratching started up slightly when she started there, her new school looked inward, readjusted their program, gave her a little more one on one time, and the biting evaporated. Like disappeared w/in a month. Good teachers look internally when they are faced with a problem. They don't seek to push away, label, or lay blame.
Maybe K is acting out because he is in a bad environment. That's what I suspect was going on in my BABY'S (because when you are still counting age in months you are still a baby!!) head at the time. She hated it there. And they didn't like her (SOB!!).
I hope you can find a better environment for K. I suspect that you will see better reports when he is in a better environment.
This is not to suggest at all that the way he is acting isn't perfectly normal kid behavior. It is. They clearly are not equipped to deal with the challenge of educating kids who fall in the many different shades of normal.
I obviously wasn't there, so I don't know how it went down. But from your account it sounds like you went in guns blazing and she really didn't stand a chance.
Did she handle it well? Heck no. But I would have been quite taken aback if I were attacked that way. I would have (and have) immediately ended the conference and suggest (politely) we need an admin to join us. If a parent starts the conference ready for a fight, the teacher stands no chance.
If that isn't how it went down, then I understand. But it sounds like she was backed into a corner and instead of ended the conference, which she should of done, she handled it terribly.
**Even when teaching 8th through 12th grade, I would never directly answer the question "do you think my kid is smart" so I imagine a 3 year old teacher would not, either.
eta: I fully agree her expectations for 3 year old behavior are completely off. I would not want her teaching my kid, either.
I started the conference by saying that I would like to keep things as positive as possible and to that end would just like to have her offer one positive.statement of skills or positive impression she has about my son. She was unable to do it on the THREE separate attempts I made to direct the conversation in a positive way. I do not give a shit not a shit at all what people's impressions of this conversation were. This woman, without a preliminary phone call or correspondence, sent an official report home that suggesting 3 year old was autistic with ODD and ADHD. Also, processing disorder and language delay. The fact that I didn't.throw down an D bomb was more diplomacy than she frankly deserved. The fact I actually attempted to steer the conference in a positive direction (my pediatrician actually suggested this specific opening question) is fucking saintly of me. Form your impressions as you will. But I will shut your shit down if it is harmful to my kids.
ok. Like I said, I wasn't at the conference. I wasn't being negative or combative.
I had no idea preschool reports were that detailed. I was presuming I would one day get a report that said "Evie likes to paint. She occasionally eats the glue we use. She talks a lot, even when isn't really supposed to. She enjoys free play".
I had no idea preschool reports were that detailed. I was presuming I would one day get a report that said "Evie likes to paint. She occasionally eats the glue we use. She talks a lot, even when isn't really supposed to. She enjoys free play".
I mean, really…preschool?
lol you should see what we get. It is insane. Its only three times a year, not monthly. But that is one top of two conferences. It is crazy.
Post by irishbride2 on Oct 22, 2014 18:42:18 GMT -5
SBP: do you mind sharing the language she used in the report? I just reread the original thread and didn't see it. yOu mentioned that she said he takes toys and lays down during circle time and the such, but did she actually suggest Autism and ADHD?!?! If I missed that, then I totally get it. I would have gone in guns blazing as well. That is completely inappropriate. What an idiot.
This is the problem with American preschools/daycares. They are not regulated like regular schools. There is no due process. Credentialing is lax, pay is poor, turn over is great, experience is limited. They can kick you out for no reason (a well documented problem for minority boys, in fact). They don't have to work with you. They are a business and you and your children are customers.
This is the problem with American preschools/daycares. They are not regulated like regular schools. There is no due process. Credentialing is lax, pay is poor, turn over is great, experience is limited. They can kick you out for no reason (a well documented problem for minority boys, in fact). They don't have to work with you. They are a business and you and your children are customers.
Not mandating universal PreK is really the underlying issue. Some states are good at regulating, some are not. Usually, those states have stronger Dept of Eds.
I obviously wasn't there, so I don't know how it went down. But from your account it sounds like you went in guns blazing and she really didn't stand a chance.
Did she handle it well? Heck no. But I would have been quite taken aback if I were attacked that way. I would have (and have) immediately ended the conference and suggest (politely) we need an admin to join us. If a parent starts the conference ready for a fight, the teacher stands no chance.
If that isn't how it went down, then I understand. But it sounds like she was backed into a corner and instead of ended the conference, which she should of done, she handled it terribly.
**Even when teaching 8th through 12th grade, I would never directly answer the question "do you think my kid is smart" so I imagine a 3 year old teacher would not, either.
eta: I fully agree her expectations for 3 year old behavior are completely off. I would not want her teaching my kid, either.
I started the conference by saying that I would like to keep things as positive as possible and to that end would just like to have her offer one positive.statement of skills or positive impression she has about my son. She was unable to do it on the THREE separate attempts I made to direct the conversation in a positive way. I do not give a shit not a shit at all what people's impressions of this conversation were. This woman, without a preliminary phone call or correspondence, sent an official report home that suggesting 3 year old was autistic with ODD and ADHD. Also, processing disorder and language delay. The fact that I didn't.throw down an D bomb was more diplomacy than she frankly deserved. The fact I actually attempted to steer the conference in a positive direction (my pediatrician actually suggested this specific opening question) is fucking saintly of me. Form your impressions as you will. But I will shut your shit down if it is harmful to my kids.
This is the problem with American preschools/daycares. They are not regulated like regular schools. There is no due process. Credentialing is lax, pay is poor, turn over is great, experience is limited. They can kick you out for no reason (a well documented problem for minority boys, in fact). They don't have to work with you. They are a business and you and your children are customers.
On the flip side, it often works the other way. "The customer is always right."
Children mature in preschool. They do not need to be "more mature" to attend preschool. What are her qualifications to teach preschool? Does she have the education and credentials to be a preschool teacher (i.e. a bachelors degree in early childhood education and development or is she certified in a teaching pedagogy like Montessori?) She sounds completely incompetent and personally I would meet with the director and at the same time actively look for a preschool with better qualified teachers.
I can say with a high level of confidence that this woman is not certified in Montessori. The whole idea of "kids should be doing something all the time, always!" is totally antithetical to Montessori philosophy.
I had no idea preschool reports were that detailed. I was presuming I would one day get a report that said "Evie likes to paint. She occasionally eats the glue we use. She talks a lot, even when isn't really supposed to. She enjoys free play".
I mean, really…preschool?
This week I had a parent teacher conference for BBT, who is 6 months younger than K, and it was stuff like "she is very soft spoken in class, she loves singing the continent song and working with the maps, washing fruits and vegetables is her favorite, she is working on not licking the knife after making herself ants on a log."
Her mentor was supposed to be at this meeting correct? What did that person have to say?
Her mentor had a child care issue and couldn't attend. Which sucks. And I really thought it would go better too. But when she couldn't get off the ground with even a throw away compliment I was like, fuck this.
At one point she suggested that I must secretly know something is not right with him or I wouldn't have immediately gotten him assessed. I explained that I got him assessed because it seemed like she was trying to label a three year old in some very consequential ways and I've read enough to know that once you let the genie out of the bottle with that, you can never put the lid back on. I wanted there to be absolutely no question in anyone's mind that K is absolutely normal.
I just think we need to put preschool on par with K-12. Meaning every public school must offer a free preschool program that is staffed by well qualified professionals that affords the pre-k kids and teachers all the same rights that k+ kids and teachers get. There can be private pre schools too but there needs to be a publicly supported minimum schooling that all kids have access to that starts earlier than age 5.
I had no idea preschool reports were that detailed. I was presuming I would one day get a report that said "Evie likes to paint. She occasionally eats the glue we use. She talks a lot, even when isn't really supposed to. She enjoys free play".
I mean, really…preschool?
This week I had a parent teacher conference for BBT, who is 6 months younger than K, and it was stuff like "she is very soft spoken in class, she loves singing the continent song and working with the maps, washing fruits and vegetables is her favorite, she is working on not licking the knife after making herself ants on a log."
See, that makes sense to me.
But then again, for me Pre-K (in my head) is really young because we have a junior kindergarten program (mostly 4 year old, could be 3 when they start theoretically though) and then senior kindergarten program as well…anyways, in my head pre-k is super young…after reading more of the thread I realized how old K would be.
Regardless, the report was completely not age appropriate and covered topics that, at best, should be discussed in person and with qualified people.
edit: to clarify…I thought we were talking about a 2-3 year old, not a 3-4 year old, but as I write this I am not sure that would even change my feelings that much.
"I am telling you something absurd and troubling about your child." As a result, you get him evaluated. He is determined developmentally typical. "Ah ha! You got him evaluated. Therefore, you must have thought something was wrong."