Okay, so one thing.she suggested was that I come observe her class for a day. I said I thought that just simply wouldn't work because K would cling to me and cry when I left.
Thoughts?
IME DS doesn't act the same way when DH or I are in his classroom. He is glued to one of us, dragging us around to see/share/talk about ALL THE THINGS because he is so excited to share it with us. No chance will there be any real data that comes out of that unless you are behind some sort of observational glass.
I started the conference by saying that I would like to keep things as positive as possible and to that end would just like to have her offer one positive.statement of skills or positive impression she has about my son. She was unable to do it on the THREE separate attempts I made to direct the conversation in a positive way. I do not give a shit not a shit at all what people's impressions of this conversation were. This woman, without a preliminary phone call or correspondence, sent an official report home that suggesting 3 year old was autistic with ODD and ADHD. Also, processing disorder and language delay. The fact that I didn't.throw down an D bomb was more diplomacy than she frankly deserved. The fact I actually attempted to steer the conference in a positive direction (my pediatrician actually suggested this specific opening question) is fucking saintly of me. Form your impressions as you will. But I will shut your shit down if it is harmful to my kids.
This is insane, seriously. During an IEP meeting before Babycakes had his diagnosis, one of the special education teachers threw out Autism as a possibility and then immediately apologized, and the principal apologized and basically everyone else in the room was like "Don't even THINK about this right now. We cannot make this determination."
She has NO QUALIFICATIONS to throw around developmental delays and diagnoses like this. How fucking horrible.
This is exactly where I've been the entire time I've been reading this shitshow. Everyone we dealt with who worked with Ben almost made a point to NOT steer us towards any specific Dx and it was painfully obvious that he was autistic. As professionals they know they're not qualified to do this.
Ugh, SBP. I'm sorry you had such a shittastic meeting. Don't bother with the observation. Just pull him out. You won't get anything from being there that you won't get from home. If anything you'd need a 3rd party to observe but that's pointless now.
I just think we need to put preschool on par with K-12. Meaning every public school must offer a free preschool program that is staffed by well qualified professionals that affords the pre-k kids and teachers all the same rights as k+ kids and teachers get. There can be private pre schools too but there needs to be a publicly supported minimum schooling that all kids have access to that starts earlier than age 5.
that doesn't eliminate shitty teachers. I wish it were that easy. My kids' first preschool was "free" (public) and the teacher was certified with a masters in education plus had over a decade of teaching experience. She was terrible. I didn't post about it here but it was bad. Taking educational classes and passing certification tests doesn't make a shitty teacher a good one. Nor does a school creating a good structure for a particular class or program eliminate bad teachers. If you're arguing that the way we train and hire teachers in this country needs major improvement then I agree.
RE: SBP. I would have found it impossible to remain positive and calm. Someone else would have had to impersonate me in order for that to happen, even from the beginning before there even was a meeting scheduled. I don't think it matters so much how well or badly the meeting went. It's not a match, between K/SBP and this teacher. It was always unlikely that the teacher would completely reverse course and admit her focus was inappropriate. And even if she did I wouldn't want my kids to continue in a classroom with a teacher who needed such a steep learning curve. I totally agree with SBP's decision to find a new class or school. That made such a difference for us.
No. I don't think it would eliminate bad teachers just as I don't think it's possible to entirely eliminate bad actors from any profession. But in our situation we were treated in a way that would not have existed if we were in a K-12. Because today preschools can expel students for no reason with limited recourse. Once you hit K children have certain due process protections. I think there should be more parity between the two "systems." This is actually a huge problem especially for boys and especially for black boys.
Okay, so one thing.she suggested was that I come observe her class for a day. I said I thought that just simply wouldn't work because K would cling to me and cry when I left.
Thoughts?
When we were having preschool trouble this is one thing that was routinely suggested to us by others. We didn't actually do it because we reached a point where we simply no longer wanted her in this program anyway.
When a teacher can say not one good thing about a child, I think you have to find a new program. There is nothing wrong with your child but there is everything wrong with this teacher. You have to just move him so I wouldn't invest time in observing him in this current situation.
Okay, so one thing.she suggested was that I come observe her class for a day. I said I thought that just simply wouldn't work because K would cling to me and cry when I left.
Thoughts?
I've never observed my kid in her preschool class, but my guess is that your instinct about him not acting the same as when you are not there is correct... Abby's dance classes only let parents observe once a month, at the end of class for a good reason... the kids *especially at that age-- she is 4* don't pay attention or perform when we are in the classroom but are generally just fine when we are not. Her dance teachers always go on about how well-behaved she is in class and how she will do everything the teacher asks of her... but as soon as I come in, she's paying more attention to me, wants to come stand by me, give me hugs, not do whatever the class is working on, than what she's supposed to be doing. Without fail.
It almost makes me think she wants you to come observe the class, which will bring out his "disruptive" behavior, not paying attention, etc. to "prove" her point. Yeah you need to leave that joint and don't look back, except to post your experiences on Yelp and Angie's List. LOL
Okay, so one thing.she suggested was that I come observe her class for a day. I said I thought that just simply wouldn't work because K would cling to me and cry when I left.
Thoughts?
When we were having preschool trouble this is one thing that was routinely suggested to us by others. We didn't actually do it because we reached a point where we simply no longer wanted her in this program anyway.
When a teacher can say not one good thing about a child, I think you have to find a new program. There is nothing wrong with your child but there is everything wrong with this teacher. You have to just move him so I wouldn't invest time in observing him in this current situation.
Here is where I am.
I've never understood the suggestion to come observe. It's disruptive. It's generally a distraction for ALL the kids. Which leads to an artificial situation from the get go.
And like she's not going to be on her best fucking behavior while you are there. Come on.
Personally, I would move him. I agree, if she can't say one nice/good thing about him, then I would have serious reservations about leaving my young child with her, not to mention her competence.
That list is definitely code for "get him tested." Anyone that says otherwise is full of BS. Yes, most of it is stuff that most kids do but if it's just the same thing the other kids are doing, it's not really worth of mention in that particular way.
If you do want to try to keep him there, I'd go observe. He may or may not act the same (maybe he'll become accustomed to you in the room, who knows) but, more than that, it will allow you to see how she handles her classroom.
Okay, so one thing.she suggested was that I come observe her class for a day. I said I thought that just simply wouldn't work because K would cling to me and cry when I left.
Thoughts?
When we were having preschool trouble this is one thing that was routinely suggested to us by others. We didn't actually do it because we reached a point where we simply no longer wanted her in this program anyway.
When a teacher can say not one good thing about a child, I think you have to find a new program. There is nothing wrong with your child but there is everything wrong with this teacher. You have to just move him so I wouldn't invest time in observing him in this current situation.
I'm sort of here with heyjude. I think she's a crappy teacher of ECE, but doesn't know it and thinks it will prove her point. I'd totally go to see and maybe even videotape when she's trying to redirect or work with your kiddo. Then again, our first kids Montessori ECE classroom had a big window to the hall and so you could be outside that and probably not have your kid notice for awhile. If you had to be in that little classroom it would be harder, but I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to see her try to figure this ish out and squirm while you sit there. Or even to one-up her by showing her how kids can learn while still wiggling and moving.
Oh and I wanted to add that my 6 year old (in K this year) would roll around on the floor and ignore the teacher during Montessori circle for two years of ECE/pre-K. His teacher didn't look at it as failing, but instead gave him the choice to sit where he wasn't disrupting the kids and do something he liked (drawing with pastels or sorting works or even just not being in the room) b/c he was still learning a ton. He would sometimes answer the questions about volcanos or Antarctica from the other room, but he just couldn't do the sit and watch other kids thing yet that is pretty strict in the first part of Montessori ECE. Our teacher said it was pretty common for boys and she'd have about one per year that was like that and they were usually the pretty darn smart ones who just beat to a different drum and usually didn't care what others thought of them.
Post by irishbride2 on Oct 23, 2014 12:57:03 GMT -5
I admit I might just be contrary, but if I had a teacher immediately come at me saying "tell me something good about my kid" I admit I might be a bit dismissive. I would likely say something like "of course I can, but...." and then refocus the conversation to what I wanted to discuss. I would be taken aback and likely not give a detailed list.
I do not think pointing out the behaviors listed is a bad thing. i have said many of those myself as a teacher. however, the issue is that her expectations for the age she teachers is not correct. But actually pointing out those behaviors IF they were something most 3 year olds should be able to avoid, is not a bad thing. Pointing out the behaviors is actually exactly how teachers are supposed to handle such concerns. We aren't supposed to diagnosis or suggest a diagnosis. But we absolutely can and should point out behaviors that we observe. But again, her expectations are way off.
I would say my report comments for my 8th graders are generally half academic and half behavioral. Each student gets observations from me about both types of skills. For my 4 year old, her list of skills that they document is insanely long.