Post by teatimefor2 on Nov 30, 2014 22:37:47 GMT -5
No, no, no. She shouldn't have asked and he shouldn't even be considering it. I'd be fuming and having a CTJ talk with my DH. I'm pissed on your behalf.
The only way I might be ok with this is if I had like seven older children that I wanted my DH to take to the MIL's and leave them there. Or if I had specifically requested alone time with the baby for some reason?
With the information you have provided, yes of course it would bother me. Everyone did whatever the fuck I wanted after DD was born, and I think that is reasonable to expect.
Post by AllieHound on Nov 30, 2014 22:38:21 GMT -5
Yeah, fuck no. We had both both sets of parents to our house the day we brought DS home... But that's because they're all super helpful, let us nap on the couches while our moms cooked meals and our dads mowed, took out trash, walked the dog and picked up pizza. Then they GTFO at an appropriate time and let us be our own little family. They did not make us come to their house and cook a meal I wouldn't eat. And my H would have been insulted that they'd think he'd leave his wife and newborn home alone. No way. I'd be kicking ass and taking names right now if I were you.
I feel like there has to be more here. Is MIL watching your older kid (if pp is correct that you have a 4 year old) while you deliver? Is having dinner with her a part of the deal when he goes to pick her up? That's bad enough. If she just randomly wants him over for dinner, fuck that no. No way.
PS I read other threads and you have a 4 year old? Soooooo where is she during this dinner? I MIGHT not kill my husband if he was taking the 4 year old out and I was home with the baby, but if he left the 4 year old at home I'd be a happy widow by Saturday.
Not sure if the4 year old is invited or not at this time. MIL thought that she would still be at my dads house but I told her that my dad is leaving her with us when we get home that afternoon.
I feel like there has to be more here. Is MIL watching your older kid (if pp is correct that you have a 4 year old) while you deliver? Is having dinner with her a part of the deal when he goes to pick her up? That's bad enough. If she just randomly wants him over for dinner, fuck that no. No way.
No MIL is not watching my older child. She will be with my dad at our house while we are at the hospital. She is having the dinner because one of my H's brothers is having his gf come from out of town that weekend. (A gf I have met 2x, they have been together about 2 months)
And she wants us to eat dinner with the gf. But If I don't want to or can't come then H is to go without me, apparently.
Wait, your MIL wants your dh to come for dinner and leave you with your 2 day old and your 4 year old alone for dinner?
And your dh is thinking that this might be acceptable for an hour? Has your husband recently suffered a traumatic brain injury or is he always this obtuse?
I am so angry for you right now. I would honestly throw my husband out of our house for this. You may not even be able to lift the baby well if you have delivery complications. He has lost his damn mind.
I feel like there has to be more here. Is MIL watching your older kid (if pp is correct that you have a 4 year old) while you deliver? Is having dinner with her a part of the deal when he goes to pick her up? That's bad enough. If she just randomly wants him over for dinner, fuck that no. No way.
No MIL is not watching my older child. She will be with my dad at our house while we are at the hospital. She is having the dinner because one of my H's brothers is having his gf come from out of town that weekend. (A gf I have met 2x, they have been together about 2 months)
And she wants us to eat dinner with the gf. But If I don't want to or can't come then H is to go without me, apparently.
Says who? She's not in charge of your husband. He can, and SHOULD, say no.
I can't even read the replies without bursting out laughing.
"Oh duckie, do come over for a bite of dinner on Friday night. What's that now? You have a baby at home? First night you say? Jolly good. Jolly good ole feller, we'll excuse the mother and send a dish home for her. Alrighty then, see you at seven."
Making plans for you post-birth for the next 6 MONTHS is absurd never mind days after the birth. NO ONE SHOULD EXPECT YOU OR DH ANYWHERE FOR A LONG TIME.
I assume you DH laughed in her face and said, "No, I'm eating in. Thanks anyway."
I feel like there has to be more here. Is MIL watching your older kid (if pp is correct that you have a 4 year old) while you deliver? Is having dinner with her a part of the deal when he goes to pick her up? That's bad enough. If she just randomly wants him over for dinner, fuck that no. No way.
No MIL is not watching my older child. She will be with my dad at our house while we are at the hospital. She is having the dinner because one of my H's brothers is having his gf come from out of town that weekend. (A gf I have met 2x, they have been together about 2 months)
And she wants us to eat dinner with the gf. But If I don't want to or can't come then H is to go without me, apparently.
Nope. New baby at home >>>> brother's new girlfriend. No way, you should be pissed.
Post by catsarecute on Nov 30, 2014 23:11:21 GMT -5
To answer your question, yes it would bother me. "Bother" is an understatement. I would be angry and actually quite devastated that he left me and our new baby to have dinner with his parents. I have a feeling after the baby is born, he will not want to go. Strange of her to ask!
Post by statlerwaldorf on Nov 30, 2014 23:12:56 GMT -5
It would really bother me. I spent the first evening home with ds crying because I couldn't get him to latch. It was terrible. I didn't even want to be home alone while DH ran to pick up my prescription at the pharmacy, but I needed the pain killers.
I dont like my MIL, so I thought maybe I was being irrational for being upset about it. I am hoping that once we get to the hospital and have this child, he will come to his senses without me having to turn into a bitch about it.
Also even if this is something I am justifiably uset about, I know I am over sensitive right now due to the fact that I am missing my own mom who died 2 years ago. And missing what she would be doing for me to help as opposed to what wont be with MIL.
I feel like there has to be more here. Is MIL watching your older kid (if pp is correct that you have a 4 year old) while you deliver? Is having dinner with her a part of the deal when he goes to pick her up? That's bad enough. If she just randomly wants him over for dinner, fuck that no. No way.
She wants to have dinner because his brothers gf is coming in town on friday. She is not watching my daughter at all while I am in the hospital.
As some others have mentioned, the only circumstances in which I would find this acceptable would involve entertaining older kids. Had my MIL called me before DS3 was born and said, "Would you like for C to bring the big boys over here so I can help feed and entertain them while you and the baby get settled?" I would have thought it was a nice offer (though I still likely would have passed). But that is clearly not what is going on here.
He needs to tell her hell no but don't let him say no, caidan doesn't think that is a good idea and put the blame on you. He needs to say I would rather be home with my new baby.
What a weird request.
The post partum hormones are so strong I'd probably have his stuff packed and on the lawn when he came home if my H did that.