I have never eaten alone in public for that exact reason. Honestly that's also the main thing keeping me from the gym. I don't want to be the fat girl on the treadmill everyone is laughing at.
You need to find a family gym.
The Y is awesome! So many different people of all varieties.
I was craving chocolate today, so I went a day ahead in my advent calendar and ate tomorrow's piece. Felt real good. Rebellious and shit. But I know that tomorrow morning I will be sad. I'm trying not to think about it.
I 100% seriously contemplated eating the entire calendar's chocolate and burning the cardboard part. However, it would only destroy the evidence and not my shame.
ETA: Signed, The fat girl who opened her advent calendar early to get extra chocolate. Tee hee!
I bought an adevent calendar at school once and the whole thing was gone before I made it home. I hid the evidence in the outside trash and prayed my parents didn't ask about it.
I have never eaten alone in public for that exact reason. Honestly that's also the main thing keeping me from the gym. I don't want to be the fat girl on the treadmill everyone is laughing at.
Please don't feel that way! Although I've lost a bunch of weight since my surgery I am STILL big. When I go to the Y I just think "Fuck you judgers-I am here and working out and trying to be healthy and not sitting on my ass-so screw."
This is a great attitude. Honestly, I am in awe of people who have lost a lot of weight. The self-control, the discipline, the 24/7 dedication -- it's something to be so, so proud of.
And even people who haven't lost an ounce but still make healthy choices? Power to you, because I suck at that.
People who have enough time in the day to even think cruel thoughts about larger people exercising/eating are fucking wastes of carbon.
I burst into tears the other day over a pregnancy announcement on facebook. I am blaming the holidays. Big hugs to everyone else struggling with IF right now
I had to leave church so I could sob in my car over a baby dedication one Sunday. Infertility just fucks with your head so much.
Post by thebuddhagouda on Dec 9, 2014 17:03:34 GMT -5
I think it's easier to misspeak than to type. To type out words takes a bit more effort and thought than something that just comes out of your mouth on the fly.
That being said, I think she probably deserves a change to apologize before being thrown in the gauntlet.
And it's entirely possible she had to go somewhere or is in a meeting or something that's keeping her away and she's not avoiding at all.
The idea that people might be staring at you in public and judging you on your weight is something most of us fear. For photographer Haley Morris-Cafiero, that negative attention has often been a reality -- and she has transformed that experience into art that puts the spotlight on those doing the staring.
"I have always had a hard time controlling my weight... [it] has determined my place in society and I have often felt left out and awkward," Morris-Cafiero writes on her professional website. The way that people react to her body in public is the subject of her photographic series "Wait Watchers," in which the artist captures herself and the inquisitive -- and sometimes disgusted -- expressions of passers-by as they see her.
The project is an offshoot of work Morris-Cafiero started in 2010. When reviewing pictures she took of herself in Times Square, she noticed a man in the background of on of the photographs staring at her with an expression of disgust. Five frames later, she noticed another male passerby staring at her. The artist told The Huffington Post, "I'd heard people comment about me, but I never thought I could capture it on film."
She set out to document how she was received in public spaces, both as an overweight woman and as a photographic subject. She set up a visible camera, usually on a tripod, and estimates that she has taken thousands of pictures of herself engaging in mundane acts such as reading, sketching, talking on the phone and eating in public. "Eating solicits a response a lot more often than if I'm standing around waiting for somebody," she observed.
Morris-Cafiero, who is currently the head of the Photography Department at Memphis College of Art, said she has mixed feelings about the basis of strangers' reactions. "I think some people are just reacting to the way I look. And I do think some people are reacting to me being photographed... I don't presume that they all think I'm fat. But at the same time, for that one little fraction of a second, there's a physical reaction to me doing what I'm doing."
Fat-shaming is common in the U.S., even though more adult Americans are overweight than are not. According to the CDC, two-thirds of American adults are overweight or obese. Yet overweight and obese individuals are subject to discrimination from employers, healthcare professionals and potential romantic partners. Organizations such as the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) aim to reduce fat stigma and promote acceptance of healthy bodies at any size, but the near absence of overweight bodies in media and entertainment make that acceptance slow to catch on.
Morris-Cafiero's series, with seeks to change public attitudes about weigh and explore the roles of fat bodies in public, comes on the heels of work by other contemporary artists examining attitudes about female body size and appearance. Leonard Nimoy's series of photos of plus-sized women, "The Full Body Project" received attention from major media outlets like NPR and the New York Times, and Substantia Jones' ongoing Adipositivity project aims to "widen definitions of physical beauty. Literally."
Morris-Cafiero said her photos have been well-received so far. "The only criticism that I've gotten is that I'm being arrogant to think that people think anything about me," she said. "I don't assume anything... I consider this a social experiment." She added that her work is as much about capturing public reactions, especially negative ones, as they are about putting her body into a public space. "I'm turning the camera on them," Morris-Cafiero said.
It is the disregard for another persons feelings that would make me sad.
I'm sorry to break it to you, but at some point, your kids are going to disregard someone's feelings; either accidentally or on purpose. Prepare for devastation, because everyone does it. lol.
I've never stood behind a person and laughed with my H about their appearance.
EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS THREAD AND ON THIS BOARD HAS, AT SOME POINT, JUDGED SOMEONE'S APPEARANCE. It's not right, it's not nice, and we ALL. FUCKING. DO IT. At one point or another. Missusbee swallowed her foot whole and said something stupid and offensive, and she was flamed, and rightly so. But I don't think we need to run her off the board or compare her to a fucking racist, or write her off as a terrible individual as a whole. WE HAVE ALL THOUGHT TERRIBLE THINGS. Missusbee posted it here, and she was wrong to do it; but it's not like she's some kind of fucking anomaly.
The most flameful thing is the lack of judgement in which she actually posted it, IMO. I have a lot of things that would get me flamed... I just don't post them on the board. LOL. (As we all do! I think. I mean, a few people are perfect, but whatevs.)
We'd be flamed to high hell for our snickering from last Thursday, lol.
I'm sorry to break it to you, but at some point, your kids are going to disregard someone's feelings; either accidentally or on purpose. Prepare for devastation, because everyone does it. lol.
I've never stood behind a person and laughed with my H about their appearance.
Nope.
But you have at some point judged something that others would flame you for, right?
I'm probably more emotional about this right now because just this last weekend, a friend (while drunk) informed me a mutual friend told her that he thinks my IF is caused by my weight and that I really need to lose weight.
I've never stood behind a person and laughed with my H about their appearance.
Nope.
But you have at some point judged something that others would flame you for, right?
It doesn't have to be this specific thing.
Sure.
LAUGHING BEHIND A STRANGERS BACK is very different. Right? Or maybe I'm way off base here.
Listen. We don't have to crucify missus. I'm certainly not calling for that. But yeah. I'm not the only one who brought up kids in this thread. Immediately after it was posted someone else asked if she would do that in front if her own son.
I am very sad this happened to this woman. As someone it has happened to before - yeah. Not cool.
Post by Alwaysabridesmaidf on Dec 9, 2014 17:31:54 GMT -5
I'm aware that this thread has gone in a completely different direction but yesterday I wore sweatpants and a wu-tang shirt to walmart. So there's that.
You guys. I was in meetings this afternoon. I am not a horrible person who gets their jollies off other people. I am not racist. I have no prejudice against overweight people. For christs sake I have my own body issues. I posted here recently that ive never had family photos taken (or wedding pics) due to insecurity. I recognize that nobody will believe me when I say that I truly thought the amusing part was that anyone would put 7 servings of a diet sweetener in a 12 ounce cup. It's irrelevant anyway. I apologize for being insensitive or hurting people here that I respect a great deal.
Racist though? What? Have I been posting here for 7 years and not somehow imparted that I am a decent person (however capable of saying something stupid)? Really?
Last week, I was asked if I was expecting, my youngest child is 22 months and I'm spayed. I was sad. I judge myself every morning for the amount of creamer in my coffee, but I would NEVER put 7 splenda in ANYTHING.
Post by spellingbea on Dec 9, 2014 17:35:22 GMT -5
I'm waffling, and you know how us fat girls like waffles. I agree with a lot of what Lucy said--but Splenda? Splenda? If that woman had the audacity to order a doughnut, would missusbee and her husband just fallen out and pissed themselves laughing?
And yes, I know it doesn't matter that it was Splenda, but, damn, man.
I hate this thread. Pregnancy, infertility, and fat shaming? Ugh. I hate that there are so many here who feel judged and upset. Damn.
Twelve pages in and the only bright spot is Lenny Kravitz and his massive blanket scarves. So thank you lucyhoneychrrrch for mentioning how much you hate them.
Post by vampsterdam on Dec 9, 2014 17:46:24 GMT -5
I really hate when people say things like, "I'm not saying they're fat! Hey, I'm fat, too!" It's one thing to explain you misspoke, but guess what? Overweight people CAN and DO call other people fat! Doesn't make it more acceptable. It comes off as, "So, I like totally have fat days, but that one lady was ACTUALLY FAT." (I'm not even talking about Missusbee, but just a general rant).
I know someone who recently lost over 100 pounds and she was shaming people for being overweight and not being able to stick to a diet like she did. "Like, really? It's not that hard. You just have to do it. You just have to have control". Wow...