I'm probably more emotional about this right now because just this last weekend, a friend (while drunk) informed me a mutual friend told her that he thinks my IF is caused by my weight and that I really need to lose weight.
Ends meat?
I didn't realize you were having issues bania. Pls feel free to reach out if you ever need to about this (or anything).
Thanks farmer, you're the best. (Heart) I haven't posted about it before as we are just at the point now that we need to see a doctor. It's been 4 years so I think it's time. Lol. I also know my friend is a dick and it has been on my mind more prominently since the weekend because of him.
I really hate when people say things like, "I'm not saying they're fat! Hey, I'm fat, too!" It's one thing to explain you misspoke, but guess what? Overweight people CAN and DO call other people fat! Doesn't make it more acceptable. It comes off as, "So, I like totally have fat days, but that one lady was ACTUALLY FAT." (I'm not even talking about Missusbee, but just a general rant).
I know someone who recently lost over 100 pounds and she was shaming people for being overweight and not being able to stick to a diet like she did. "Like, really? It's not that hard. You just have to do it. You just have to have control". Wow...
My mom had weight loss surgery and has lost almost 100lbs. The shit that has come out of her mouth just floors me. She wants to hand fat people cards with info about her surgery. Dude, what? But then she gets mad at The Biggest Loser because a lot of their challenges seem to be shame-filled.
Look, I've stood behind people ordering Starbucks coffee drinks that are so pretentious and require layers of sharpie that I want to laugh their yuppie asses out of the door. But I don't because even while I think they are SUPER ridiculous people, I still think that would be mean. The fat shaming just takes this to a whole new level. You should have left that part out missubee. That's what everyone is focusing on here because that wasn't cool.
I'm probably more emotional about this right now because just this last weekend, a friend (while drunk) informed me a mutual friend told her that he thinks my IF is caused by my weight and that I really need to lose weight.
Ends meat?
That person sucks. Actually both do. One for saying that and the other for sharing it with you. There are so many reasons for IF and its no one's business but a RE to decide what that is.
I've had a few people ask me over the years if I think I'm IF because I like to run Its none of their damn business. I hate having to say "I have my Drs ok to run" and validate my lifestyle and choices to other people.
No one with a December birthday wants Christmas junk!
Or February bdays don't want valentines stuff....MIL! Stop
Ok this I don't mind. My mom has always always gotten me red/pink/heart stuff for my birthday, since I have a Valentine's Day birthday. Not everything, just a few things. I kind of like it.
Or February bdays don't want valentines stuff....MIL! Stop
Ok this I don't mind. My mom has always always gotten me red/pink/heart stuff for my birthday, since I have a Valentine's Day birthday. Not everything, just a few things. I kind of like it.
A few things is ok plus regular stuff. All I get Is Cupid shit lol
You guys. I was in meetings this afternoon. I am not a horrible person who gets their jollies off other people. I am not racist. I have no prejudice against overweight people. For christs sake I have my own body issues. I posted here recently that ive never had family photos taken (or wedding pics) due to insecurity. I recognize that nobody will believe me when I say that I truly thought the amusing part was that anyone would put 7 servings of a diet sweetener in a 12 ounce cup. It's irrelevant anyway. I apologize for being insensitive or hurting people here that I respect a great deal.
Racist though? What? Have I been posting here for 7 years and not somehow imparted that I am a decent person (however capable of saying something stupid)? Really?
Let me help. This apology was also not really an apology.
Try this: hey I'm really sorry. That comment I made resulted in me appearing as an insufferable asshole. I love all of you ; please lev me back. I fucked up bad.
I'm probably more emotional about this right now because just this last weekend, a friend (while drunk) informed me a mutual friend told her that he thinks my IF is caused by my weight and that I really need to lose weight.
Ends meat?
He is an idiot.
And unless he is a RE, he has no business commenting on what could be possibly causing your IF.
AND if he is SO FUCKING SMART he should realize that like, 30%, of IF is "unexplained".
ALL our tests came back 'normal'. There was no 'reason' for not getting pregnant, except that it just wasn't happening.
Also, your friend who passed along his comment needs to shut her trap.
He is an idiot. He's actually brilliant in his profession but socially he's an idiot. I'm obviously not taking his word for the cause of possible IF issues but the weight comment stings a bit. I do wish I just didn't know that he said this. My friend was drunk and had been sitting on it for a few months. She's not usually a crappy friend. Ugh. I'm not sure what I'm more terrified of finding out; when we do tests and they come back normal or with an issue. Both are terrifying results. eta: he's not in the medical profession. He's a brilliant accountant and very smart. But socially dumb and says whatever comes to mind at all times.
And unless he is a RE, he has no business commenting on what could be possibly causing your IF.
AND if he is SO FUCKING SMART he should realize that like, 30%, of IF is "unexplained".
ALL our tests came back 'normal'. There was no 'reason' for not getting pregnant, except that it just wasn't happening.
Also, your friend who passed along his comment needs to shut her trap.
He is an idiot. He's actually brilliant in his profession but socially he's an idiot. I'm obviously not taking his word for the cause of possible IF issues but the weight comment stings a bit. I do wish I just didn't know that he said this. My friend was drunk and had been sitting on it for a few months. She's not usually a crappy friend. Ugh. I'm not sure what I'm more terrified of finding out; when we do tests and they come back normal or with an issue. Both are terrifying results. eta: he's not in the medical profession. He's a brilliant accountant and very smart. But socially dumb and says whatever comes to mind at all times.
TTTC is a nice board We're not puppies and rainbows like the GP board can be. Its nice to know your not alone going through IF. Plus there's a ton of knowledge, in case you have questions as you start the testing process. Its normal to feel overwhelmed and hesitant to begin the process. ((hugs))
He is an idiot. He's actually brilliant in his profession but socially he's an idiot. I'm obviously not taking his word for the cause of possible IF issues but the weight comment stings a bit. I do wish I just didn't know that he said this. My friend was drunk and had been sitting on it for a few months. She's not usually a crappy friend. Ugh. I'm not sure what I'm more terrified of finding out; when we do tests and they come back normal or with an issue. Both are terrifying results. eta: he's not in the medical profession. He's a brilliant accountant and very smart. But socially dumb and says whatever comes to mind at all times.
TTTC is a nice board We're not puppies and rainbows like the GP board can be. Its nice to know your not alone going through IF. Plus there's a ton of knowledge, in case you have questions as you start the testing process. Its normal to feel overwhelmed and hesitant to begin the process. ((hugs))
Thank you I'll probably start lurking soon. I'm still pretending it's not an issue/ creating a busy schedule for myself to avoid dealing with it. (((Hugs))) to you too.
You stand across from me in boot camp or on the treadmill next to me or a few bikes over in spin. I have never seen you before, but here you are. I can tell by the look on your face you are embarrassed. Embarrassed that you can’t do a pushup or don’t know how to adjust your bike or that you walk on the treadmill when the girl on the other side of you runs for a full hour at the speed of a cheetah. You look around and wonder what on earth you are doing here. You glance at me and I smile, but you look away pretending you didn’t see, because that would mean I noticed you. Maybe you are discouraged. Maybe you tell yourself this was a huge mistake and you’re going to ask for your money back. Maybe you wonder if I’m judging you.
I am not.
I want you to know how proud I am of you. You see, even though it might not seem like it, none of us are judging you. Why? Because so many of us were just like you. We know what it is like. We know how hard it is, especially in the beginning. Really we do. Maybe you woke up one day weighing forty pounds more than you did five years ago. I have been there. Maybe you stepped on the scale at the doctor’s office, had the nurse cluck her tongue, and then had the doctor say something like, “Now let’s talk about your weight.” I have been there. Maybe you recently had a baby, and you wonder if there will ever be a time when you don’t have to tuck your stomach into your pants. I have been there. Maybe you get half way through the warm up in a group fitness class and wonder if you are this out of breath now, is a full hour going to kill you? I have been there. Maybe money and time are tight and the idea of spending $30-$70 a month and an hour a day on yourself feels awfully selfish. I have been there. So many of us have.
You see us running or biking or lifting weights, and may feel discouraged or that we are judging you. Please, please, PLEASE know that we are not, because so many of us have been in your same shoes. You see us for what we are now, but many of us started out just like you, on a journey to find our best selves.
Please come back. I know it is hard, but it will get better, I promise.
And then you will wake up one day and wonder when you became that person. You know that person who can jog a few miles or do a whole spin class or even do boot camp without being sore the next day. And you will be the one, standing across the room, smiling at the new girl hoping she knows how lovely and wonderful and brave she is. Hoping she knows she is worth all the work. Because you are. You are so worth it. You deserve to be your healthiest self.
Now there might come a time and a place where someone will judge you, even someone at the gym. Maybe they make rude comments or give you that look. Maybe they have never known what it feels like to struggle with their weight. Maybe they have low self-esteem. Maybe they have never eaten an entire pan of brownies by themselves (I have) or an entire bag of Halloween candy before a single trick or treater came to their door (I have). Maybe they forgot what it was like to be the new girl. Please, don’t waste your time on them. You are on a journey to be your best self, and they don’t belong on your journey. Find people and a place where you can begin where you are.
Come back. You are so worth it.
Dear New Girl at the Gym has been a popular post, and I don’t mind having it shared as long as my website is linked back on online articles and my name and website is referenced when printed.
You might also like- Our Future is Our Choice -My response to those who would tear us down.
OMG if someone was giving me an encouraging smile to show me "how brave" I am for going to the gym she might get a punch in her condescending face. How about she just focuses on her own damn workout?!
Fuck man.
I'm probably presenting a "can't win either way" situation but that seems condescending. Just do your fucking workout and go about your business, lol.
OMG if someone was giving me an encouraging smile to show me "how brave" I am for going to the gym she might get a punch in her condescending face. How about she just focuses on her own damn workout?!
Fuck man.
I wouldn't know how to tell what the impetus was behind an encouraging smile. I'd rather someone smile at me than look at me in disgust.
No one with a December birthday wants Christmas junk!
Or February bdays don't want valentines stuff....MIL! Stop
Baby Sparky's due date is Feb 12 and I hate Valentines Day. I really hope she does not end up born on the 14th, because the next person who is all "Valentine's Baby to me!" is getting punched.
Post by karmasabiotch on Dec 9, 2014 19:07:55 GMT -5
Flame me without the quote please. Please DD where I was quoted. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just thought it was such random awfulness. I should have kept it to myself.