Wedding Related Complaining

[aprilsails]

I would like to issue a moratorium on everyone that I know planning their weddings for the only 4 long weekends in the goddamn all-too-short summer.

I don't care if people have to travel. If they love you, they will come on any damn weekend and make an event of it.

I don't care if the reception is $3000 cheaper if you can book it on Sunday night instead of Saturday. All your guests now hate you and I am going to shortchange your cash gift (probably not).  Travelling on the Monday of a long weekend is absolute and utter hell (clogged highways) and I now can't party hard on Friday and Saturday night like I usually would since I would be able to recover on Sunday/Monday.  Says the pregnant woman.

This brought to you by opening my 4th invite for this summer, and figuring out that yes, indeed, they just took out the final long weekend in May that was available.

Last summer I only had two weddings and they were both on long weekends.  This summer they managed to cover off every single one!  I already declined being invited to the Labour day weekend wedding since my due date in August 22nd so I will not be travelling. Nonetheless, that long weekend is obviously a write-off for me.  

FYI those who want to plan weddings in the future: Long weekends are meant for bonfires and drinking at cottages and house projects and relaxing beside the pool.  NOT YOUR WEDDING!

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Ummm just don't go and send agift.

[aprilsails]

The July long weekend is a close cousin and the August long weekend I am the MOH and she's my best friend. I actively encouraged her not to book for that weekend, but 'It's the anniversary of our engagement!' as if that's important. They are also local and I wouldn't think of missing them unless I am pre-term.

I am now considering skipping the May one. It's a friend from university and while I really wanted to attend his wedding I do not see him often and the 5 hour drive is going to suck on a long weekend. I was more excited to go in order to be able to visit with our other friends from university who are pretty well scattered. There's another wedding in the group scheduled for summer 2016 so that might be the better option. I could at least drink by then.

I just don't understand - there has to be at least 15 good weekends to chose from in any given summer. Why these four?

[ECB]

Perhaps they have family that being on a long weekend makes it easier to come. Or .... Who the heck knows. I realize you're in the one wedding, but outside of that one, these are invitations. Not subpoenas.

[aprilsails]

Feb 28, 2015 8:36:28 GMT -5 ECB said:

Perhaps they have family that being on a long weekend makes it easier to come. Or .... Who the heck knows. I realize you're in the one wedding, but outside of that one, these are invitations. Not subpoenas.

Both the July long weekend and August long weekend are all local. Maybe 1 hr travel time tops for attendees.  They both booked the Sundays for the cheaper prices. The July one is particularly egregious since no one actually has Monday off - Canada day is the following Wednesday.  So they are assuming people will either go to work the next day or book off until July 1st. 

The May and September weddings do involve a lot of travel for friends and family including myself (5 - 7 hour drive each).  I actually would rather get to destroy a regular weekend travelling like that than take up an entire long weekend, particularly since hotels are more expensive on long weekends and to make the most of it I would probably want to go for two nights.

I understand how much effort it takes to pick a wedding day, from availability, to costs, to location, etc.  I'm just seeing a 6 wedding straight trend among my friends and family to book these specific dates and I am pissed.

[hisno1girl]

I was going to try sarcasm here, but I think it might not shine through so I'll jus say it: You sound like a real dick.

Weddings aren't about you or your schedule, they're about the couple. If missing four weekends out of 15 is causing you this much trouble, then just don't fucking go.

[Deleted]

You don't sound like the kind of guest I would have wanted at my wedding. I only wanted people who wanted to be there, not who were there so they could see the friends they preferred over me. So it's probably best you decline anyway.

[polarbearfans]

I would be more annoyed with a Sunday wedding than the 4 day weekend. I don't get those weekends off and to make it fair, I work either Sunday or Monday those weekends. I would miss due to it being a holiday weekend.

[underwaterrhymes]

If you view celebrating with friends and family as "destroying your weekend" perhaps you just shouldn't go.

[aprilsails]

I am being a dick and complaining and if it's flammable so be it. I would never say anything to my friends and have confined myself to bitching right here right now and to DH.

Thanks for your reality check His.

[Muddled]

I don't like long weekend weddings. Flights always cost more.

Although, it seems like you're not flying, so... yeah.

[ECB]

Feb 28, 2015 9:03:26 GMT -5 polarbearfans said:

I would be more annoyed with a Sunday wedding than the 4 day weekend. I don't get those weekends off and to make it fair, I work either Sunday or Monday those weekends. I would miss due to it being a holiday weekend.

This isn't to argue with you, just using this as a jump off point. LIke carrots, I had Sunday wedding too. DH is Jewish - in order for some of his family to come, that was our choice. 

This is just to say that people often have their specific reasons as to why they pick what they pick.

And OP - you talk of bonfires, beach, etc for how you want to spend your holiday weekend.  a LOT of people don't spend their holiday weekends like that.  I have no specific annual traditions. Many people I know either don't either or it's having a cookout in their backyard.  I.e. - not a big deal. 

[Deleted]

I am also very EW at your complaining that your friends dare not spend the extra $3k so THEIR wedding can be on a Saturday, as is your preference. Because let's not forget this wedding is about you.

[themysteriouswife]

SIL is having a Monday wedding. It is a few days before baby is due. H and DD were still planning to go provided baby was here. It sucks, but you do what the bride and groom want. They have their reasons. Either go or don't go.

ETA: it is a 12 hr drive one way. H talked himself out of going. We are sending a bigger gift than we originally wanted.

[ECB]

Feb 28, 2015 8:16:38 GMT -5 aprilsails said:

I don't care if the reception is $3000 cheaper if you can book it on Sunday night instead of Saturday.

And on the topic of Sunday weddings (or Friday night, for that matter, which also gets a lot of bitching) , you do realize that it's actually IMPOSSIBLE for every couple who gets married in a year to get married on a Saturday? The # of people getting married vs the # of venues - it would be impossible for EVERYONE to only get married on a Saturday.

[zoomzoom]

Um yeah. We don't have any traditions tied to any holiday other than Christmas. And we love to travel. So we'd love an OOT wedding on a three day weekend. I'd rather that than a Friday night wedding that would mean we'd have to use vacation days to attend. If it's that much of a problem, just decline. #notthathard

[macmars45]

aprilsails I hear you. Two years ago this coming May H and I went to a wedding. The trip should've taken 5 hours but took 8 hours because it was Memorial Day Weekend.

When H and I got married we had very few dates available to us because of H's work. It was either June 13th or July 3rd or some date in August that I cant remember. We chose June 13th. We specifically stayed away from holiday weekends on purpose.

[meggers5]

My bachelorette/shower is the May long weekend and my wedding is the August long weekend.

My MOH lives in Halifax and I wanted to make sure she could come. Everyone else can deal with it.

[zoomzoom]

Also. Maybe the couple can't afford a Saturday wedding? Judge much?

[MixedBerryJam]

Feb 28, 2015 8:49:13 GMT -5 aprilsails said:

Feb 28, 2015 8:36:28 GMT -5 ECB said:

Perhaps they have family that being on a long weekend makes it easier to come. Or .... Who the heck knows. I realize you're in the one wedding, but outside of that one, these are invitations. Not subpoenas.

blah blah blah ...

You're not actually helping your case by coming up with lame excuses and explanations. You're not the bride, or the groom, so you have no goddamn say in the wedding date. They get to pick it. Full. Stop. Go or don't go, but please shutthefuckup about it. 

I can't decide if you sound like a dick or a baybee bride yourself. Is there such a thing as a baybee guest? That might be the aroma I smell. 

[miniroller]

Feb 28, 2015 9:16:53 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

[ We chose June 13th. We specifically stayed away from holiday weekends on purpose.

[/p][/quote]


FLAG DAY!!!!! (6/14, but still a holiday weekend... Technically;) )

[Muddled]

Regarding Sunday weddings... Who cares? Whether it's Saturday or Sunday, it's a day off. Friday is annoying because it can require two days off.
But, whatever. I did lots of things that people disagreed with, too, because it was what worked for me. People came or they didn't.

[aprilsails]

Feb 28, 2015 9:09:28 GMT -5 ECB said:

Feb 28, 2015 9:03:26 GMT -5 polarbearfans said:

And OP - you talk of bonfires, beach, etc for how you want to spend your holiday weekend.  a LOT of people don't spend their holiday weekends like that.  I have no specific annual traditions. Many people I know either don't either or it's having a cookout in their backyard.  I.e. - not a big deal. 

I think this is my main issue. My family has a longstanding family reunion weekend on the August long weekend and we usually host a Canada Day party at our house in July. We missed both of those events last summer (by choice) and will be doing the same this year. Otherwise, we are at my parent's cottages.  We can and do go on other weekends but there are more people who make the trip on long weekends and it is so nice to be able to get together with the extended family.  

I grew up spending long weekends at cottages and they are pretty important in my family.  I'm actually not the only person who is frustrated with my cousin's choice of date and location, and he told our Grandmother last week that he regrets the choice but is tied to it now.

I would prefer to not have to chose family over friends or vice versa.  This would not have been a concern on any other weekends of the year.

[themoneytree]

I like holiday weekend weddings so I can do something that weekend as well as the wedding. Explore a new area, etc.

Sorry things aren't working out as you want them too. Perhaps you should consider not going to one or two of them?

[suzyp]

I actually hate all holiday weddings be it xmas or Memorial Day. Especially if I'm not family. But I go if I can and internally roll my eyes a bit.

But I'm confused about your Sunday wedding hate. Like EB said a lot of Jewish weddings are on Sundays. And it's not a work day. They are not a big deal. I attended a Sunday wedding in NY when I lived in DC and was at work by noon on Monday. Nbd

[meggers5]

My grandpa always complained about people having big events on long weekends. Then he had the nerve to die on a long weekend lol.

[aprilsails]

Feb 28, 2015 9:22:27 GMT -5 nursecramer said:

Feb 28, 2015 8:32:35 GMT -5 aprilsails said:

The July long weekend is a close cousin and the August long weekend I am the MOH and she's my best friend. I actively encouraged her not to book for that weekend, but 'It's the anniversary of our engagement!' as if that's important. They are also local and I wouldn't think of missing them unless I am pre-term.

I am now considering skipping the May one. It's a friend from university and while I really wanted to attend his wedding I do not see him often and the 5 hour drive is going to suck on a long weekend. I was more excited to go in order to be able to visit with our other friends from university who are pretty well scattered. There's another wedding in the group scheduled for summer 2016 so that might be the better option. I could at least drink by then.

I just don't understand - there has to be at least 15 good weekends to chose from in any given summer. Why these four?

May 13, 2014 12:54:42 GMT -5 aprilsails said:

I am MOH for my best friend, who has fixed her wedding date for August 2015. However, DH and I have decided we're finally ready to go forward with TTC, and I have been using charting to avoid for the past couple of months. Our first cycle TTC looks to have been a bust (expected), but now I'm getting into a dicey time with respect to my friend's wedding.

How close to a wedding date would you be comfortable being due or being post delivery? 

I'm just trying to see if I should stop trying in August (baby 9 weeks old at wedding) and then when I should start trying again (I'm guessing at most I'll be comfortable at 7 months pregnant - so January?)

Wait, so you're willing to alter your attempts to conceive a child around this wedding, but you get all pissy that it interferes with your weekend bonfire?

I would have strongly preferred that her wedding fell on any other weekend this summer. As I don't get to make that decision, it's on the long weekend and I have not complained to her about it once.  She is also my dearest friend, and I would have skipped a month or two TTC for her no matter when the wedding fell and I did just that even though it pissed off DH.

I don't see how my being considerate of my best friend, while complaining on the side about her choice of date, makes me the worst person around here.  We all have competing interests in our lives, and it's really the 4th wedding invite that has thrown me over the edge of a cliff.  I've had 2 years to come to grips with her wedding date choice and I will hopefully be there, in my wildly altered dress, wishing her all the best on her big day.

[MixedBerryJam]

Feb 28, 2015 9:23:06 GMT -5 aprilsails said:

Feb 28, 2015 9:09:28 GMT -5 ECB said:

I think this is my main issue. My family has a longstanding family reunion weekend on the August long weekend and we usually host a Canada Day party at our house in July. We missed both of those events last summer (by choice) and will be doing the same this year. Otherwise, we are at my parent's cottages.  We can and do go on other weekends but there are more people who make the trip on long weekends and it is so nice to be able to get together with the extended family.  

I grew up spending long weekends at cottages and they are pretty important in my family.  I'm actually not the only person who is frustrated with my cousin's choice of date and location, and he told our Grandmother last week that he regrets the choice but is tied to it now.

I would prefer to not have to chose family over friends or vice versa.  This would not have been a concern on any other weekends of the year.

::taps mike:: Is this thing on?  Have we not already explained that "this" is not about you this time? Shut up about it already. Go or don't go, but for the love of God, just shut up about it already.

[aprilsails]

Feb 28, 2015 9:23:33 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

I feel pissy today.

Me too.  I had pregnancy dreams all night about weddings which I think put me over the edge this morning.

[MixedBerryJam]

Feb 28, 2015 9:29:42 GMT -5 meggers5 said:

My grandpa always complained about people having big events on long weekends. Then he had the nerve to die on a long weekend lol.

Hypocrite. But if you have an empty seat, that's my birthday weekend, just sayin'. (I'll see myself out.)