Sexual discrimination

[Deleted]

I'm reading a pretty good book, Because of Sex, by Gillian Thomas, about ten supreme court cases involving Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.  I'm only through the first few cases, which involve the following:

Phillips v. Martin Marietta Corporation (1971)-- discrimination based of sex of applicant--female applicants with preschool-age children need not apply, but men with preschool-age children are a-okay.

Dothard v. Rawlinson (1977) -- Woman fought for the right for law enforcement positions as state troopers and prison guards.

City of Los Angeles Department if Water and Power v. Manhart (1978) Women had to contribute fifteen percent more of their paychecks towards the pension program because of projected longevity (they were supposed to live longer and would ultimately collect more).

Meritor Savings Bank, FSB v. Vinson (1986)--although the case was started nearly ten years prior and only heard by the Supreme Court in 1986.  Vinson was sexually harassed at work by her superior.  I won't explain further to allow for possible triggers. 

So, anyway, I find it fascinating.  I have been fortunate to feel that I have never faced discrimination based on the fact that I am a woman, that I can recall.  I wanted to know if any of you have experienced discrimination.  

[birdmom]

I'm getting my master's in human resources and am studying some of these cases in my employment law class. It's very interesting. I'm going to have to check out that book.

[jigsy]

I worked a retail job where I was always made to work the register because the men were better at working in the stock room.

Which, I guess was fine, until I wasn't able to get promoted because the shift lead needed to be able to work all the different positions within the department, and I had no stock experience.

In comparison to a lot of other womens experiences, it seems so small and minimal, but also it highlights how the wage gap/opportunity gap starts. Both myself and the man who did get the shift lead started making the same, but he was able to make more, and have "management" experience added to his resume, while I was left behind.

[CajunShrimp]

When i was a manager looking to hire someone, my HR department told me I needed to offer the male candidate more $$ because he had a family to support, than the equally experienced female candidate that did not have a family. I almost reached through the phone line to strangle him.

[frkls]

yes. i tried to pursue ordination in georgia.

[Serenity9]

I left a job because of sexual harassment.

[rosiebear]

Yes, in terms of both pay and opportunity.

I was also grabbed and kissed against my will at a job when I was 16.

[frkls]

OH!!! here's a good one.

my seminary roommate was the senior pastor appointed to a church. when she was expecting her first child, she had people leave the church because they were so upset that she was pregnant in the pulpit. they said that it was a constant reminder from the pulpit that she had had sex WITH HER HUSBAND (gasp!!)
nobody has ever fucking left a church because the pastor's WIFE is pregnant.

[Elsa]

Yes. I was pg with M and my boss had been fighting for a promotion for me for a little while. When I told him I was pg, he said "well, I guess the promotion will have to wait, can't do it if you are going to be out for three months"

[georgeharrison]

When I was a teeenager, I had a job that my boss told me he was going to promote me to a supervisor. When it came down to hit, they gave the job to a dude because they had had a girl in that position before, and it was too much drama. He told me that. I was too young and dumb to know that it was discrimination.

[atarianna]

PDQ: As an intern with a police department I was told that I could go help serve the warrant "if I went naked". The male interns were always welcome to do "field" work and go on range days. I never got to go. Likely because I wouldn't go naked. :/

So I guess I faced sexual discrimination and sexual harrasment all in one. Yay me.

[Deleted]

Mar 17, 2016 12:35:51 GMT -5 Elsa said:

Yes. I was pg with M and my boss had been fighting for a promotion for me for a little while. When I told him I was pg, he said "well, I guess the promotion will have to wait, can't do it if you are going to be out for three months"

GET OUT

[miniroller]

Mar 17, 2016 12:35:37 GMT -5 frkls said:

OH!!! here's a good one.

my seminary roommate was the senior pastor appointed to a church. when she was expecting her first child, she had people leave the church because they were so upset that she was pregnant in the pulpit. they said that it was a constant reminder from the pulpit that she had had sex WITH HER HUSBAND (gasp!!)
nobody has ever fucking left a church because the pastor's WIFE is pregnant.

That is SO gross! Of course not re: a male pastor's pregnant wife. Instead there are squeals of delight, baby showers galore, hand-knit blankets, etc. etc. He's doing a wonderful job of spreading the good Christian seed

I'm shocked & disgusted for your poor friend & how backward some of America's churches still are today. (As you're obviously familiar)

[Deleted]

Yes. So, back when h and I first started dating, we both took the same job. We went into the mountains to cut down weeds around planted seedlings to restock the cut blocks. Anyway, we were put together as partners, both worked the same hours, etc. His paycheck was always much higher than mine. I was young and dumb, I should have asked wtf, but I was just glad to be done with the season, so I let it go.

[Elsa]

Mar 17, 2016 12:40:54 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

Mar 17, 2016 12:35:51 GMT -5 Elsa said:

Yes. I was pg with M and my boss had been fighting for a promotion for me for a little while. When I told him I was pg, he said "well, I guess the promotion will have to wait, can't do it if you are going to be out for three months"

GET OUT

I was so so pissed. But it was an otherwise great job, and despite this and a few other ridiculous comments, I really liked this boss. So I didn't do anything about it. Had M in October, came back to work in January, he started asking the upper administration for my promotion again, and it was approved to start Sept 1......6 days before my last day at that school to move to DFW. So I got to be an associate director for 6 days.

His wife also told him, in front of me and another female in his dept that he "needs to stop hiring women of child-bearing age", and he laughed and agreed. :/

[isabel]

There a book by Jon Krakouer about the rape cases in Missoula. Seems sort of along these lines. It's very interesting and horribly sad/upsetting.

[awick14]

There are defiantly some down falls to working in the field that I do but because we are in the government sector there isn't nearly as much discrimination. (At least in the department I work in, our union wouldn't take it well at all.)

Even though what I do used to be a "mans" job I feel very confident that the woman here are treated very well by higher ups. By other employees of equal status, Not always though.

When I was young I was passed up on a huge promotion because I was young and a female. The guy that got the job dumped all his work on me and I'm stupid enough to do it. I finally got fed up and quit. The guy was fired within a week and they begged me to come back. Nope nope nope! When it initially happened I wish I had done something about it but again young and dumb.

[bittybomb]

When I became partner in my firm, I became part of the decision making team in new hires. I was told once, by our female OM mind you, that she wanted to us try and find a male associate rather than female because the female would probably want to have kids and take time off. I almost punched her in the face. Obviously, I told her it was illegal and pointed out that I was the youngest person promoted to partner in the history of our firm despite me having 3 small children. She looked at me blankly.

I've only supported women candidates, and though I don't think I'm doing it on purpose, maybe I am still just THAT mad about it.

And I'm going to go ahead and pat myself on the back because every hire I've ever backed has turned out to be awesome. The ones I didn't support, well they're generally idiots.

[isabel]

I once had a boss tell me that he was unsure about promoting me because he needed someone with a "strong and commanding presence." Being 5' tall and female, I made the assumption that he wanted a man. I did get promoted, but only because of my direct boss, not this guy. He did end up coming around after I proved myself. I hope it shifted his views a bit.

[underwaterrhymes]

I've experienced both harassment and discrimination on several occasions.

The situation that was most disappointing to me took place at a large company in a human resources department.

It started when one of our recruiters was locked out of his office and My favorite male boss had come by seeing if there was anything I could do. I said that I would call upstairs to one of the Exec Assistants who had a bunch of keys... Without thinking, I said, "She's got this awesome rack!" And he replied "you're one to talk."

I laughed because I thought, god I'm a bonehead and he doesn't know what he's just said here, but then he poked his head around the corner and grinned at me and I thought, "oh shit."

Thus started a series of seemingly innocent but also absolutely explicit comments. It sucked because he had been my favorite boss, but I grew increasingly uncomfortable and struggled with what to do because I was young and he was a bit older and married with kids. I had liked him so much as a boss and I also really wanted to advance with this team.

One day, I sent out a request for agenda items. He came over and sat on my desk and said, "I have a really BIG agenda item," and then suggested a private performance (of a team related performance he and the leadership had put on) just for me.

I looked him right in the eye and said, "I will put that on he agenda if you want me to. It will be interesting to see how the rest of the team reacts."

The harassment stopped. But my chances for advancement pretty much were nil. I left the team shortly thereafter.

[lovelovelove]

All the time in my old field, commercial real estate.

[revolution]

Mar 17, 2016 12:21:45 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Most are unconscious bias things but yeah, on a daily basis. Welcome to tech.

Yep, I am in IT and a very male dominated office.  yay tech.

[sugarbear]

I was a rowing coach at a very well-known Division I university. I was sexually harassed for 6 months. Wrote every single incident down. Finally talked to a couple other female coaches and they had similar experiences, although their offices were much further away from this person's, whereas I was in close physical proximity all day, unless I was in the erg room or on the water. And often, he came out on the water with us so I was alone with him in a small coaching boat. He was fucking disgusting.

I finally worked up the courage to say something but the other female coaches weren't on board, so I went alone. I asked the AD's secretary to schedule a meeting for me and when she asked why, I completely broke down. Like, hysterically crying in the main office of the Athletics Department. I let it all out to her, which was stupid... because her best friend was engaged to this man.

She refused to schedule the meeting, so I barged into the AD's office. This was in January.

He at least listened to me, but then he asked me if I could please wait to do anything about it because the basketball team was looking good and he didn't want me to distract any attention from them. He was certain they'd make the NCAA tournament. He just didn't have time, right now, to "manage" (I'll never forget his word choice, which seemed really odd to me then and still does now) my problems.

I walked out of there feeling so small. So completely insignificant. I told my direct boss, male, and he shrugged and said, "well, go back in March I guess, but I mean, what are you going to do? You're out drinking every weekend; you should expect this kind of stuff." (Mind you, this all happened M-F 9-5)

I finished the season and quit the second my boat crossed the finish line. I so, SO regret not doing anything about all of it.

[kris356]

I worked in car dealerships for 20+ years so yeah. But this is very dependent on the owner and the environment that they establish. I worked for some awesome owners that stopped shit at the door and others who downright contributed to it.

[juliachild]

Yes. I'm an engineer. Happened all through college and happens at my job frequently. But I think my favorite is that my grandma's H never refers to me as engineer. He thinks I work with engineers, but couldn't possibly be one myself because I'm a woman. :/ he asked me over Christmas how journalism is going...

[Deleted]

Mar 17, 2016 13:22:25 GMT -5 sugarbear said:

I wouldn't beat yourself up at all.  You tried hard to stand up for yourself and against the harassment.  You weren't getting the support you needed and that's not on you.  Sorry for what you went through. 

[Deleted]

I'm sorry for your shitty experiences. Thank you for sharing them though.

I am shocked at the poll numbers.

[TR]

I'm sure many have experienced discrimination and don't even know it.

I can't think of any opportunities I've been expressly and obviously denied due to being a woman, but have dealt with sexual harassment for SURE. In a few jobs. And I was the one who was uptight. Eyeroll.

[fivechickens]

This was the most blantant:

My girlfriend and I found this adorable house to rent. Filled out all the paperwork, landlord said he would be in touch regarding when it was ready so we could sign lease. A couple weeks he called us and told us he changed his mind and didn't feel comfortable renting to girls. Liability and all that bullshit.

[ijack]

Mar 17, 2016 12:21:45 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Most are unconscious bias things but yeah, on a daily basis. Welcome to tech.

Yep. I'm an engineer (electrical, which is male dominated) in a male dominated industry. All the time.