Did I read it right that they are not having a reception after? Something weeks later back home? so, it's going to be BYOB on the beach while you watch them leave for the honeymoon?
Can you Face Time instead ? lol
This is correct.
Wait, what? I amend my position. This is fucking stupid and selfish of them. If people are going to get on a plane to come see them get married, the LEAST they should be providing is a hot meal.
I planned a DW on the beach because that is what I wanted and I lived in Utah..not exactly beach-y. My family was 100% supportive, and all but one of my siblings came. None of Ex-H family came.
I didn't hold a grudge or was upset when people chose not to come. XH did get grief from his family, but this was something we both wanted. (I did not really appreciate the crying phone call from MIL on the wedding night because it upset XH - but whatever) I wouldn't change what I did at all (well...maybe the groom, but whadaya do?)
Go. Don't Go. This really has nothing to do with you or other members of your family and has everything to do with what your brother and his FI want for how they begin their family.
But do feel free to mock the timing, because that is just a dumb-dumb move. And if they throw a fit that people can't come, then you get to further mock their ideas. LOL.
Expecting people to get on an airplane to literally watch a 30 minute ceremony on the beach and then the couple heads out is really insane to me. They cannot possibly expect many people to do this. I already said only you should go, but now I'm even questioning that. :-)
But, I would probably go on my own since it is my sibling. Your husband and kids can attend the Midwest reception, which I would guess is what other family will do.
Not even dinner after? Nothing? Just "come see us exchange vows and then peace out"?BBCode
More or less. I think the plan is that those people who do go will go to dinner later and be hosted by the bride's parents but there isn't anything set in stone. I don't think they're even doing formal invites. The whole thing is making my Knottie self pearl clutch.
Not even dinner after? Nothing? Just "come see us exchange vows and then peace out"?BBCode
More or less. I think the plan is that those people who do go will go to dinner later and be hosted by the bride's parents but there isn't anything set in stone. I don't think they're even doing formal invites. The whole thing is making my Knottie self pearl clutch.
Not even dinner after? Nothing? Just "come see us exchange vows and then peace out"?BBCode
More or less. I think the plan is that those people who do go will go to dinner later and be hosted by the bride's parents but there isn't anything set in stone. I don't think they're even doing formal invites. The whole thing is making my Knottie self pearl clutch.
This is ridiculous. Based on this information I would do my best to get your parents to be outraged at the idea so that they can try and convince them to abandon this plan.
Well, with the info that there is no reception I say no. Why don't they just get married in PR on the beach then have a party when they get back and save the drama?
I mean if it was a full wedding with reception and was feasible money wise, I would probably make it work because Irish Catholic family guilt but for a ceremony and see ya? No.
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." - Unknown
WAIT WHAT? It's just a ceremony and nothing after? Oh no. No, no, no. I amend my answer. I can't imagine missing my brother's wedding, but I can't imagine my brother being this much of a dick.
If he's not even going to hang out with everyone afterward, I definitely think you should skip!
To talk about me again (lol, sorry) we are not doing a reception at all, but we will have drinks/dinner afterward with whoever shows up. We're making this very clear and making sure people know they are not obligated to attend, though. I feel like your brother should not give you any grief at all if you don't come to his non-party. You don't require people to travel for you and then not even spend any time with them!
WAIT WHAT? It's just a ceremony and nothing after? Oh no. No, no, no. I amend my answer. I can't imagine missing my brother's wedding, but I can't imagine my brother being this much of a dick.
Right? I've always said I wouldn't miss my siblings' weddings for anything. Because I come from a "FAMILY IS EVERYTHING" Catholic family, and that's what you do.
Well, I never considered that my little sister would turn into a heinous bitch while planning her wedding.
So, I'm now eating those words. And despite all the Catholic guilt, none of my relatives blame me, so...exactly no one (including my mother) has given me even the tiniest bit of crap about it. Apparently, all the guilt goes out the window when one of the parties involved manages to reach peak douchebag with their awful behavior.
Are they really having a reception in your State? Then that would really weight into my decision. And a lot of people might skip the Florida thing and go to the local reception. People in your family have to be understanding. If your mother is really a pain about it, I would suggest she takes one of your kids with her (maybe both) and pay for their plane tickets and travel with them!
Post by gilmoregirl on May 3, 2016 14:47:10 GMT -5
I didn't know you would literally be watching them get married on the beach and then they are peacing out. I also amend my original answer... that seems bananas to me especially with having a reception back home. The one I went to last year there was a rehearsal party for everyone who came in for the wedding the night before as well as the wedding and reception.
I dunno. I think dinner at a restaurant after the ceremony is sufficient care of guests (barely). That alone wouldn't color my decision.
Even for a destination wedding? For a destination wedding I pretty much expect a welcome reception the night before, dinner after the ceremony and brunch the next morning. My expectations increase significantly when it's a destination wedding. Dinner after the ceremony is the absolute minimum I would expect.
My SIL got married the one weekend we couldn't travel there, on about a month's notice. Then while initially she was just going to do a JOP, she then decided to have a reception.
So we didn't go. To a wedding-wedding.
And THEN we found out my MIL was behind the scenes all "it's too much work for them to fly so do it whenever because they can't come." BUT HAD NEVER ASKED US. FFS.
My husband was pissed at his sister and mom, I was annoyed but glad not to spend $4k on airfare, and all of us were shamed in absentia at the wedding since her husband's ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY and all his friends showed. Like, legit they were all commenting on FB pictures "shame your brother and his wife couldn't make it."
Ugh.
Weddings suck sometimes. Vent away.
OH, AND I gave SIL like all of my maternity clothes and she never thanked me. But I can't get mad about it since she still thinks she has the wedding diss high road. /irritated
I dunno. I think dinner at a restaurant after the ceremony is sufficient care of guests (barely). That alone wouldn't color my decision.
Even for a destination wedding? For a destination wedding I pretty much expect a welcome reception the night before, dinner after the ceremony and brunch the next morning. My expectations increase significantly when it's a destination wedding. Dinner after the ceremony is the absolute minimum I would expect.
I would not expect all of that.
I'd be happy with a very nice three-course meal.
Will you get that?
That would be ok with me.
But, for some reason, I'm picturing something cheap.
My SIL got married the one weekend we couldn't travel there, on about a month's notice. Then while initially she was just going to do a JOP, she then decided to have a reception.
So we didn't go. To a wedding-wedding.
And THEN we found out my MIL was behind the scenes all "it's too much work for them to fly so do it whenever because they can't come." BUT HAD NEVER ASKED US. FFS.
My husband was pissed at his sister and mom, I was annoyed but glad not to spend $4k on airfare, and all of us were shamed in absentia at the wedding since her husband's ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY and all his friends showed. Like, legit they were all commenting on FB pictures "shame your brother and his wife couldn't make it."
Ugh.
Weddings suck sometimes. Vent away.
OH, AND I gave SIL like all of my maternity clothes and she never thanked me. But I can't get mad about it since she still thinks she has the wedding diss high road. /irritated
I think if you really want your family to be there, you give them plenty of notice of when you are thinking of having the wedding especially if this is something that requires flights.
I think if you really want your family to be there, you give them plenty of notice of when you are thinking of having the wedding especially if this is something that requires flights.