DH works full time, I work full time at home (in-home daycare).
-Pays the bills Me -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day. Me but this is minor since I WAH. Basically I only need to coordinate some band pickups for DD1 and acro for DD2. -Does the grocery shopping Both of us -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) Both of us -Does the laundry Both of us and the kids do laundry as well -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. Me -Buys clothing for the kids Me -Packs the kids stuff for the day Me -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids I schedule, he usually takes them -Communicates with teachers Me -Manages car maintenance I schedule, he usually takes them in -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to Me except for his mom and dad -Plans birthdays Me -Makes dinner Both of us but him a little bit more often -Housecleaning Both of us
-Pays the bills- me -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day.- h drops off... I pick up -Does the grocery shopping- h -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.)- whoever is available to make a run -Does the laundry- me but H does all the ironing. -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc.- h -Buys clothing for the kids- me -Packs the kids stuff for the day- me -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids- h does all hair cut stuff. I do all other appointments because I am home. -Communicates with teachers- both -Manages car maintenance - h -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to- I do my family. He does his. -Plans birthdays - both -Makes dinner- me on weekdays.... H on weekends -Housecleaning- mostly me... H does all trash, outside maintenance and the garage.
I work about twenty hours a week from home. H has a traditional job and works 45 hours per week.
-Pays the bills H -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day. Me -Does the grocery shopping Me -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) Me -Does the laundry Both of us but H does most of it. -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. H -Buys clothing for the kids Me -Packs the kids stuff for the day Me -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids Me -Communicates with teachers Me -Manages car maintenance H -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to Me but H usually TAKES the kids to the birthday parties which is just so awesome, lol. -Plans birthdays Me, H helps a ton on the actual day which is all I really want him to do, lol -Makes dinner Me, H always goes to pick up dinner when we get take out, though. -Housecleaning- we have a weekly cleaner. I do the dishes, pick up the living room and he takes out the trash and the recycling.
ETA: I missed standard categories for pets and lawn maintenance and house upkeep since we don't have a pet and live in a condo building. Oops! H takes care of the pets, we have landscapers
I'm a SAHM, he works full time, partly from home. The main thing is, I think H definitely does his share. I should probably do more.
DH works FT and is gone from about 7:45am to about 6:30pm.
I'm a SAHM.
-Pays the bills ... DH (we both handle investments and banking)
-Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day. ... Me
-Does the grocery shopping ... Me, but DH grabs random items on his way home from work or on weekends if we need something like bread or milk
-Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) ... Both
-Does the laundry ... Split equally. He does his, most bedding, and most towels. I do mine and DS's.
-Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. ... We tag team this. He will make the initial call with details and if a voicemail is left he leaves my cell # so I can be there point person for scheduling. Or he texts and asks me when a good time would be. He usually initiates.
-Buys clothing for the kids ... Me
-Packs the kids stuff for the day ... Me
-Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids ... Me, 99% of the time for everyone in the family
-Communicates with teachers ... Joint effort. DS is about to start preschool and we've both initiated calls and emails,
-Manages car maintenance ... Mostly DH
-Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to ... Mostly me
-Plans birthdays ... Mostly me
-Makes dinner ... Me
-Housecleaning ... Mostly me
-Yard Work ... I usually mow and trim hedges, have a vegetable garden for fun, and DH does everything else like most weeding, shoveling, and outer house maintenance
-Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day: Me usually. DH does on Friday because he's off
-Does the grocery shopping: Me
-Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.): Me
-Does the laundry:Me
-Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc.: Me
-Buys clothing for the kids: Me
-Packs the kids stuff for the day: Me
-Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids: Me
-Communicates with teachers: Me
-Manages car maintenance: DH
-Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids are invited to): Me
-Plans birthdays: Me
-Makes dinner: Both of us. DH cooks on the weekend.
-Housecleaning: Both of us. I do more day to day tidying. He usually does bathrooms.
-Pays the bills -- ME -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day. -- HIM -Does the grocery shopping --HIM -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) -- HIM -Does the laundry - ME -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. -- ME -Buys clothing for the kids -- ME -Packs the kids stuff for the day -- BOTH -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids -- ME -Communicates with teachers -- BOTH -Manages car maintenance -- HIM -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to -- ME -Plans birthdays -- ME -Makes dinner -- BOTH. -Housecleaning -- BOTH pets -- HIM lawn maintenance -- HIRED OUT house upkeep -- HIRED OUT
We both work full time, but I work in office three days a week, and from home 2 days. I'm not tied to a desk during those two days - just have to be on call with my cell to answer questions.
I do everything listed except for car stuff...but I don't drive so DH has the only car. While I lay the bills he does all the financial planning /investments for us. We have a house cleaner and landscapers (they do regular mowing/maitanence plus snow shoveling and plowing in the winter) so have help with that stuff. I SAH and DH works crazy hours, plus both kids are in school so it's not a huge deal that I do all the other stuff.
Post by whitemerlot on Sept 3, 2016 16:43:47 GMT -5
I'm responsible for everything on the list other than bringing the cars in for maintaince and mowing the lawn. My h will do a load of laundry or two a week. I would also like my h to clean his own shower, because I have used it less than 5 times in 3 1/2 years, but he only does it like 1/3 of the time, even when I nag.
Post by sandyapples on Sept 3, 2016 17:25:05 GMT -5
I do everything on the list. DH cleans on the weekend as needed. He usually cuts the grass and takes care of most pool maintenance. He will do pretty much anything on the list as a one off but I do everything regularly.
I SAH with a 6yo and 3yo and they are about to both be in school full time. DH works at least 50 hours a week.
Post by undecidedowl on Sept 3, 2016 18:29:26 GMT -5
DH works FT, I work 80%
-Pays the bills: me -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day.: I do anything before 4:30, DH anything after -Does the grocery shopping: DH, but I write the list -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.): me, or DH with my list -Does the laundry: me -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc.:me -Buys clothing for the kids:me -Packs the kids stuff for the day:me -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids:me -Communicates with teachers: both since I drop off and he picks up -Manages car maintenance -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to: me -Plans birthdays :me -Makes dinner: split since he gets home first on workdays -Housecleaning: both -lawn: DH -home maintenance: both
-Pays the bills I manage all of the finances. -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day. I drop them off at school in the morning because DH starts work at 4 am and their school is less than 10 minutes from my office. Pickup from after care differs day to day with DH doing the majority as he gets out a little earlier than I do. -Does the grocery shopping We usually do the main grocery shopping together but he does the little pickups since he drives past the food store on his commute and I don't. -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) This is part of the regular grocery shopping or I order on Amazon. -Does the laundry We both do laundry but I am usually the one who puts it away. -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. It depends on the subject matter - i.e., I would handle cable or phone company appointments. DH would handle household maintenance although he can fix 99% of the issues so we haven't really had to call for outside help. -Buys clothing for the kids I do this. -Packs the kids stuff for the day I do this since I do drop off. -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids I do all of the dr appt scheduling for boys and myself. I do dentist appoints for everyone. DH schedules chiropractor appointments and hair appointments for the boys. It depends on our schedules as to who takes them to said appointments. -Communicates with teachers I do all of the communication with the boys' teachers. -Manages car maintenance DH handles this since he does the majority of it himself at work. -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to I do this for the most part unless it is last minute and I ask DH to pick something up specific. -Plans birthdays I do this. -Makes dinner We both do this depeding on who gets home first. I am usually the one to pre-plan meals. -Housecleaning I do this for the most part of DH helps if I ask.
-Lawncare DH does the mowing (with the help of the boys). I take care of the flowerbeds.
-Petcare I do 90% of the feeding and litter box cleaning for our two cats. DH or the boys will do it if I ask them to.
-House maintenance DH does almost all of the house maintenance but I will help or do simply things as needed.
I do travel twice a year for work (10 days in the spring and 14 days in the fall) and during this time DH takes over 100% of everything. I always come home to a clean house and he changes his work schedule to do school dropoff.
ETA: We both work full time. I have more flexibility in my schedule but DH's can be flexible too as needed.
I SAH and DH works long hours/often out of town. I have help at home and my parents are also pretty involved with my kids so it makes the most sense that I do most of what's on that list except for: He takes care of his car maintenance and his Drs/dentist appointments. DH also manages all investment accounts and tax documents for accountant.
-Pays the bills - me -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day. - 90% me -Does the grocery shopping - DH or we go together -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) - DH -Does the laundry - used to be more me, but since DD was born DH took over. He does 90% now -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. - both -Buys clothing for the kids - me -Packs the kids stuff for the day - me -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids - me -Communicates with teachers - me -Manages car maintenance - both. We each manage our own primary cars -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to - me -Plans birthdays - me -Makes dinner - 75% DH -Housecleaning - 75% me - lawn, gutters, etc. - DH - snow shoveling - DH - pets - DH
DH works full time from home, and I work PT from home and travel some.
Post by redheadbaker on Sept 4, 2016 15:54:54 GMT -5
We both work full time. My commute is just under an hour, his is about 20 minutes.
-Pays the bills - we each pay some. We both contribute to daycare and rent. He pays electric, I pay Netflix. We each pay for our own phone plans and car insurance. -Drops off/picks up from daycare - I drop off from daycare, he picks up. -Does the grocery shopping - mostly me. -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) - mostly me, it's combined with the groceries. -Does the laundry - mostly him. -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. - N/A, we rent -Buys clothing for the kids - me. -Packs the kids stuff for the day - me. -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids - schedules: me; takes the kid - mostly me. -Communicates with teachers - mostly me. -Manages car maintenance - we each take care of our own cars. -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to - mostly me. -Plans birthdays - mostly me, but I ask for his input on some things. -Makes dinner - I do all the meal planning, and do most of the cooking, but he's a good cook and will cook if I can't (too tired or sick). -Housecleaning - mostly him
-Pays the bills: Me -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day: Will be me, just because H has a 1.5 hour communte that is before/after daycare hours start/end -Does the grocery shopping: We both go -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.): Usually included in the grocery shopping, otherwise whoever has nothing going on after work will stop on the way home- we have a CVS in our neighborhood. -Does the laundry- Me -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc: Me -Buys clothing for the kids: Me -Packs the kids stuff for the day: Me -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids: Me -Communicates with teachers: Probably will be me -Manages car maintenance : I schedule, H generally takes in -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to: I buy for my family, H buys for his family, unless I'm already at the card store and I ask him if he wants me to pick it up -Makes dinner: H -Housecleaning: We both do -Lawn: H -Pets: generally H does breakfast, I do dinner. We both take them on walks, and both pick up the yard. When we had just one dog, H was in charge of the yard. If we are both home and the dogs get sick, H picks up after them.
Post by stephm0188 on Sept 5, 2016 10:18:47 GMT -5
-Pays the bills- Husband does this. -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day. Kid is elementary age and comes to school with me. -Does the grocery shopping. Husband does this 75% of the time. -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.) Me. -Does the laundry. Mostly me, he does his own. -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. 50/50. -Buys clothing for the kids. Mostly me, but he does this too. -Packs the kids stuff for the day. Me. -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids. He does haircuts, I do doctor. 50/50 on dentist. -Communicates with teachers Me, but he picks up if the kiddo is sick from school. -Manages car maintenance We each take care of our own. -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to. 50/50. Depends on the kid/party. -Plans birthdays Me. -Makes dinner Husband. -Housecleaning Me.
He takes care of the outdoors. We both work full time.
I SAH and my DH works full-time. I do everything on the list except car maintenance, which he takes care of. We sometimes shop for miscellaneous home/garden stuff together on the weekend.
Post by DesertMoon on Sept 5, 2016 16:58:43 GMT -5
-Pays the bills- Dh -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day.-Me -Does the grocery shopping- him or me, depends -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.)- me usually. -Does the laundry- Me -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. -DH -Buys clothing for the kids- Me -Packs the kids stuff for the day- Me -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids- Me -Communicates with teachers- Me -Manages car maintenance- DH -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to- Me -Plans birthdays - both of us -Makes dinner- Me -Housecleaning- Me
Just curious about the breakdown of child, house, and life related tasks and who ends up responsible for them compared to what households were like before the '70s or so.
I'm also interested in knowing work make up-both work full time, someone SAH, part time, etc.
-Pays the bills -me -Drops off/picks up from daycare/school or communicates with a nanny. Basically the daily logistics of childcare for any given day. -I take to school. We each pick up 1 day and my parents do the other 3
-Does the grocery shopping -H or we go as a family -Does the miscellaneous shopping (lightbulbs, toilet paper, dish soap, etc.)-amazon I do. He does HD or Lowes rus -Does the laundry -whoever has time. We put away our own clothes except E. I put away hers. -Calls the appropriate people and sets up times for household tasks like cable set up, dishwasher fixed, plumber etc. -H -Buys clothing for the kids -me or as a family -Packs the kids stuff for the day -usually me -Schedules Dr, dentist, and haircut appts. and takes the kids -both -Communicates with teachers -both -Manages car maintenance -H -Buys gifts/cards for family members for holidays and for birthdays you (or kids) are invited to -me -Plans birthdays -both -Makes dinner -H -Housecleaning -both
I'm sure I'm missing a lot of categories. Feel free to add to the list.
ETA: I missed standard categories for pets and lawn maintenance and house upkeep since we don't have a pet and live in a condo building. Oops!
H does most outside maintenance, I weed, my mom helps a lot with bigger projects, we pay a kid to mow