Post by redshoejune on Jan 17, 2017 16:44:55 GMT -5
I hope you keep feeling good about it. It is a weird feeling to be official in my experience.
I didn't really want to keep my name or to change it in the first place, but I did end up keeping it partly because if my kids and partly because of my career. The married name is what my clients know and how I am licensed and I didn't want to have to explain the change to everyone since they would be likely to assume it was because of getting married, instead of getting divorced.
Post by closertofine on Jan 17, 2017 16:47:40 GMT -5
I've wavered for over a year, but I've finally decided to change back to my maiden name. And I have two small children. I seem to be outside of the norm among people irl. I don't care. I want no further association with that man. I am not a <insert last name here>. I'm going to do the change in the summer when I have time and to ease into it at the beginning of a new school year. It would be weird for me to go in next week and say, "hey guys! Call me Ms.J today!"
I changed back, but we didn't have kids. My mom kept my dad's last name for 15 years after they divorced until I was about to get married and change my name anyway. But then I got divorced and went back to that name so joke's on you, Mom! Anyway, this way you get to avoid the conversation of:
"Oh you got married, congrats!" "Nope, opposite, but thanks!" :::awkward silence or stuttering:::
This was the WORST. So freaking awkward.
I'm changing my name AGAIN when I'm getting married next month. I'm dreading the hoops to jump through. This better be the last time, lol.
I changed back, but we didn't have kids. My mom kept my dad's last name for 15 years after they divorced until I was about to get married and change my name anyway. But then I got divorced and went back to that name so joke's on you, Mom! Anyway, this way you get to avoid the conversation of:
"Oh you got married, congrats!" "Nope, opposite, but thanks!" :::awkward silence or stuttering:::
I am about to legally change back to my maiden name, and I expect I will have that reaction at school. It's hard to explain why I am spending a crapton of money to buy my name back, but it's time. And the name now is SUPER common, I much prefer my maiden name.
I'm growing older but not up. My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck, let the winds of time blow over my head. I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.
I've wavered for over a year, but I've finally decided to change back to my maiden name. And I have two small children. I seem to be outside of the norm among people irl. I don't care. I want no further association with that man. I am not a <insert last name here>. I'm going to do the change in the summer when I have time and to ease into it at the beginning of a new school year. It would be weird for me to go in next week and say, "hey guys! Call me Ms.J today!"
Just an FYI if you haven't looked into $$, it's MUCH more expensive to change it after the divorce is final. It will probably cost you ~$500. Unless you had it written into the divorce decree and just haven't acted on it yet.
Post by ciescalove on Jan 17, 2017 17:02:55 GMT -5
I kept it until I remarried. 51% to piss off him and his parents, who demanded I change it, and 49% because we had a kid together and it made things easier.
I have kept mine, mostly because I like having the same name as DS but also because it's a massive pita to change it again and I'm lazy. And my maiden name wasn't any easier to spell!
I don't really feel like it's "my" name though, so I might change it at some point but I've been toying with the idea of changing it to something different.
Part of me hopes that it annoys xh that I've kept it lol
My only friend who is divorced didn't have kids and still kept her husband's last name. She just decided it was easier than hassling with another name change. Agree that it only matters what you want to do.
Post by laceylaplante on Jan 17, 2017 18:45:56 GMT -5
My mom kept my dad's last name. Then remarried for about 5 years. After her divorce to him, she went back to her maiden. When she remarried again, she kept her maiden because she was a business owner and it would have been a huge hassle. Once she sold her business, she hyphenated.
I would keep my married name because of my kids. Also because I'm not Lacey (maiden name) anymore, I feel like an entirely different person. Sounds weird typing it out like that, but whatever.
I hope you did something good for yourself today to celebrate!
You do what you feel is right. My mom kept the name of her first husband, until she got remarried. Then when she divorced him, she went back to her maiden name.
I kept my XHs name because changing it is a pain in the butt. I got some weird comments but mostly people were understanding when I said "social security office"
I think a lot of women keep their names if they have kids. I actually don't know anyone that has changed back in that situation.
Glad you're feeling good about it, congrats to a new chapter!
MIL changed her name back to her maiden name after the divorce and DH was still in middle school at the time. But their divorce was extremely messy and I think she honestly couldn't stand keeping his name. I dunno.
But no, to answer OP's question, I don't think it's odd to keep your married name. Dorothy kept Zbornak!
I don't think it's odd at all to keep the name if that is what you want to do. My mother never changed her last name when she got married, but my MIL kept her married name in the divorce because she wanted to have the same name as her kids.
Post by hisno1girl on Jan 17, 2017 20:10:50 GMT -5
I switched back to my maiden name after my divorce.
My DD obvs has her dad's last name.
It never occurred to me too not change it back.
Sidenote: DH's 1stExW kept his name after their divorce because of the girls. She then went on to have two more kids with some random guys and didn't put the father's name on the birth certificate so there are two girls out there with DH's name but no connection.
They are very nice girls and since their mother died several years back, we always keep in touch. When their sister comes to see us one of them usually tags along.
I don't care about it, I just thought that was really strange.
Post by sineadorebellion on Jan 17, 2017 20:58:23 GMT -5
I was married 12 years. After the divorce I kept my ex's last name. I wanted the same name as my kids plus a lot of gym people call me by my last name. Just made life easier.
No way in hell I will change my name if we get divorced. I've actually told H this. Changing it once was enough of a pain in the ass. My mom never changed hers back.
Glad you're feeling good. Best wishes as you move forward!
I've wavered for over a year, but I've finally decided to change back to my maiden name. And I have two small children. I seem to be outside of the norm among people irl. I don't care. I want no further association with that man. I am not a <insert last name here>. I'm going to do the change in the summer when I have time and to ease into it at the beginning of a new school year. It would be weird for me to go in next week and say, "hey guys! Call me Ms.J today!"
Just an FYI if you haven't looked into $$, it's MUCH more expensive to change it after the divorce is final. It will probably cost you ~$500. Unless you had it written into the divorce decree and just haven't acted on it yet.
Why does it cost so much!? I don't recall spending anything to change mine when I got married. I just assumed it was an easy switch as long as you had some sort of documentation giving a reason.
Post by Mrs.Rad888 on Jan 17, 2017 22:05:48 GMT -5
When I got married for the 1st time, I changed my name to first-maiden-last, because I hated my middle name and also because I wanted to keep my maiden name in some capacity. When I got divorced I kept my name so I'd have the same name as DS and so I didn't have to take my middle name back. I changed my name when I got married for the 2nd time, I was first-maiden-new last name. When I got divorced from that guy, I kept that name so it matched at least one of my kids, even though I hated it. When I married DH I changed to first-maiden-new last name. Now my last name doesn't match either of my kids. And it doesn't really matter. If I get divorced from this H, I'm probably going to just make up some name. And that will be the end of it, because no way in hell am I getting married a 4th time.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Jan 17, 2017 22:33:54 GMT -5
Big hugs for you, first.
My godmother has been divorced for several years and still has her married name despite the fact he has remarried and she is in a serious relationship. They got married pretty young and it IS her last name and a big part of her identity.
He was a major dickbag and I support both their divorce as well as her keeping the last name.
Just an FYI if you haven't looked into $$, it's MUCH more expensive to change it after the divorce is final. It will probably cost you ~$500. Unless you had it written into the divorce decree and just haven't acted on it yet.
Why does it cost so much!? I don't recall spending anything to change mine when I got married. I just assumed it was an easy switch as long as you had some sort of documentation giving a reason.
Because it's not considered part of the divorce unless you specifically put it in the divorce decree. It's just a voluntary name change.
No kids and I kept my ex husband's name. It had been mine for 10 years, and I felt like it would be weird to change. I think deep down a part of me was hoping that it wasn't truly over and he would come back, but I didn't realize that at the time.
I had always planned on changing my name again when I get married so I didn't want to change back-and-forth. In hindsight I probably never would've never changed my name in the first place.
So in the future, I will probably hopefully get married again and I will change to his name.
Changing your name is such a pain in the ass
And if it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, I apologize... Voice text
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
Why does it cost so much!? I don't recall spending anything to change mine when I got married. I just assumed it was an easy switch as long as you had some sort of documentation giving a reason.
Because it's not considered part of the divorce unless you specifically put it in the divorce decree. It's just a voluntary name change.
This should depend on the state/county. I changed my last name voluntarily through a court order in VA and it was like $40.
apalettepassion.wordpress.com/ WHO IS BONQUIQUI!?!?!?!??!
"I was thinking about getting off on demand, but it sounds like I should be glad that I didn't"
Why does it cost so much!? I don't recall spending anything to change mine when I got married. I just assumed it was an easy switch as long as you had some sort of documentation giving a reason.
Because it's not considered part of the divorce unless you specifically put it in the divorce decree. It's just a voluntary name change.
Changing my name after marriage was voluntary and not part of any legally binding agreement... Right?