my only question is how did he become friends with someone on snapchat from another state that he will most likely never meet that isn't even in the facebook group if the entire reason they were on snapchat is because it was a spinoff of their facebook group?
Sometimes the strangest stuff happens on the internet. I've experienced weirder shit than this...
I'm experiencing weirder shit right now, reading your posts.
specialk, I'm sorry you're going through this. My H had an emotional affair years ago and I still remember exactly how I felt when I found out. Hopefully it didn't get to that point with your H but my biggest worry for you and your situation is that for him to admit something was flirty probably means it was a lot more than flirty. I am glad that he's trying to be transparent for you now and I truly hope everything works out for the best.
I find the thoughts on Snapchat interesting. I'm on snap but my H isn't. I would be hurt and pissed if he thought I was on it to cheat (I'm not talking about the OP's situation at all). I'm on snap because my brother, cousins and friends are. It's a form of communication. I like that it doesn't clog up my text message with nonsensical silly pictures and videos of my brother doing stupid stuff. It's fun to view, reply and move on.
To the OP, you seem to have this under control. I'm guessing you are right about his motivates. I would have zero problem telling H that he better get his ego boast elsewhere or I would end him.
I think the difference here is that you know people you snap with IRL and your husband knows them too. I'm guessing your top 3 aren't random dudes your husband has never heard of. MH and I access totally different forms of social media and it isn't a problem, since afaik neither of us are using it to flirt and boost our egos (except with the number of likes we get, lol).
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
I don't think having snapchat as a married person and not telling your spouse that odd, nor would him communicating with women from the FB group I knew about be particularly alarming.
The suspicious thing to me is that right when you saw the snapchat he decided then suddenly that now is the time to delete the app, his account AND leave the FB group.
Agree 100%. DH has no social media. I have snapchat (as a MARRIED person!) and communicate with my friends and nieces and nephew. I am also a member of a Washington sports secret FB group where I am one of about three women. We talk sports and are all FB friends and I have met 4 of them in the last 10 years. So these two things would not bother me. DH also knows about both and knows the names of the people in the FB group.
It's just odd that he decided to delete everything. I'm sorry OP - I hope it was just liking the attention.
This is the difference. All of you who are saying that you're on Snapchat, or you have multiple social media accounts, I'm also seeing "and my husband knows about them." The OP's husband had a *secret* snapchat.
I'm sorry, OP. I know this sucks; I've been through similar. I will echo what others are saying in that what he has admitted to is likely not the whole story. I've learned that cheaters are notorious for only admitting to what you can actually prove, or a teensie tiny bit more (like your husband's comment that "ok sure they were flirty"), and that's it. I hope that in your case it's not actually cheating, but it definitely sounds like he's pushing some boundaries. I hope you got it in time, and your reaction put the fear of god into him, and that will change his behavior.
My husband was sexting with a stranger that he met via a FB group, and at first his response was "it's just flirting." I had seen some of the more explicit messages, so I knew that was a lie. He lied repeatedly for weeks afterwards, over and over. First it had only been going on a couple weeks, then a month, then about two months. First they never spoke on the phone, he swore adamantly that they hadn't, with tears in his eyes. Then it was "ok there was one phone call." It was ridiculous, and tiring, and shameful, and hurtful.
And some comments about why he didn't do more to try to hide it? My husband didn't either. He was clearly disengaged with me & the kids, on his phone more often than normal, and used FB messenger for talking to her. Didn't even change the settings so that it wouldn't pop up on his screen that he had a new message.
I'm not saying that your situation is just like mine or that your husband did all the same things. But there are some similarities so I thought I'd share. Take care of yourself.