Can I rant about Boomers for a bit?

[Deleted]

Possibly some incidental @ mention.

We went to visit my dad last week. OH MY GOD are they the Boomeriest Boomers who ever Boomered.

My dad used to live in the densely populated suburb where I grew up - not a place that is known for being transit friendly, but a place where you can drive to pretty much whatever you need within 5 miles. Around the time I graduated college, he moved out to the middle of nowhere. You have to drive a minimum of like 10 miles just to get to the grocery store. They have horses and land, but they aren't farmers or ranchers or anything. They are just people with a lot of land.

There are 2 adults living in his house. They own 2 minivans and a large pickup truck.

They used paper plates for pretty much EVERY meal. Dad made pancakes for breakfast? PAPER PLATES. I mean, what in the actual fuck? I can't even figure out why they own real plates. I opened their fridge, and there is just SO MUCH STUFF. Half of it is clearly leftovers that are never going to be eaten. We went out for Tex-Mex for lunch one day. I ordered too much food on purpose, with the plan of taking the leftovers home for the next day so that I could eat Tex-Mex twice. They were giving me a hard time about taking my leftovers home. "Oh, it won't heat up well." WHAT? Have y'all ever eaten a cheese enchilada? I swear we had a five-minute conversation about whether I, a grown-ass woman, should take her leftovers home. They thought I should just throw it away. They watch TV CONSTANTLY. They were on their iPads for hours at a time, seemingly just scrolling through memes. They missed so much funny stuff their granddaughter did because they were staring at their screens.

I am glad we went because watching babyharpy play with her cousins was awesome, but good god, the waste dripping from every aspect of their lifestyle is just...OMG, this generation shouldn't be allowed to say SHIT about my generation.

[VillainV]

Except for the paper plate part, this is basically my parents too.

[waverly]

My mom debates everything. Like she bought me hair gel unasked for by me, and then demands that I pay her for it. Ok mom. Then 6 months later tells me she found it in my bathroom drawer while she was visiting and she got me the wrong stuff. I am like OK mom I thought I threw it out, and she debated with me about what was in my drawer FFS.


We were at breakfast eat pancakes, and she told me the kids shouldn't use knives to cut pancakes because it was soft so forks are good enough. So I had to tell her that I was teaching the kids to cut better with the knife and that she just needed to get on board because who critiques how someone cuts food? And my MIL said the kids had bad table manners with pancakes (which I agreed with), so I thought I could work on it. Then my mom says well maybe she should work on it with my nephew who is 13. Ok great mom. I've just lost 5 minutes of my life debating this.

[eclaires]

My ILs are like this and it blows my mind. I mean, they recycle, so I guess that's good, but it's crazy how much waste is coming from a house of two adults. Giant suburban, smaller SUV. K-cups for breakfast every day even though THEY DO NOT LEAVE THEIR HOUSE or go to work or have any use for single usage coffee (I don't even drink coffee at all but this drives me up a wall). 5000+ sq ft house for two people. 2 fridge/freezer combos, one dedicated upright freezer, two chest freezers. Two TVs on all fucking day.

It's mind boggling. They do eat leftovers though.

[icedcoffee]

Oct 29, 2018 10:42:00 GMT -5 @angryharpy said:

 I opened their fridge, and there is just SO MUCH STUFF. Half of it is clearly leftovers that are never going to be eaten. 

This is my parents.  Except the fridge is basically all sauces and condiments.  And other things that cannot just be eaten by themselves.  Most of them expired.  My sister and I always joke to each other that despite the fact that I couldn't even fit a few of DS' bottles or sippy cups in the fridge, there's not actually anything to eat in their house.  Unless you want to eat 17 varieties of mustard on stale crackers.

And the TV.  Ugh.  It is always BLARING.  Even when they visit us my quiet house goes from peaceful with the TV on low to blaring and cords for all their devices in every spare outlet.  And my dad refuses to get a hearing aid or turn down the damn TV.  

[heyjude]

This makes me feel thankful for my boomer parents who hosted a recycling fair to teach people how to recycle back in the 80s at my elementary school.

Tho I agree about the screen addiction and memes. God. The Boomer memes ARE THE WORST.

[pixy0stix]

My mom keeps bringing me paper plates. I always hand them back to my sister when they're leaving so she can sneak them back into my mom's stash when they get home.

[mouse]

Is it also an age thing? My grandma also moved out to the middle of nowhere, like you had to get on the highway, if not the freeway, to get anywhere. As her driving skills declined it really accelerated her isolation. It cemented my determination to retire somewhere with close amenities and public transportation.

Mr M's parents live on 3 acres on the outskirt of a town right next to the one my grandma lived on. They raised their kids there, and I can see why they don't want to let it go, but its like seeing what happened with my grandma looming over them. They also have gone all paper plates and spend 90% of our visits on screens. Like, we're in the living room talking with them and Mr M's dad turns the tv volume up (on a Netflix show!) so he can hear it over us.

At least they're liberal?

[Velar Fricative]

I feel like my ILs should be like this but they surprisingly aren't. But, they did also opt to move from the suburbs back to Brooklyn when the kids were grown and even their movers were like, "Wait, you're moving FROM Long Island TO Brooklyn? You sure it's not the other way around?" Their house is not small but they gave up a lot of property and NYC is a liberal paradise so they can't not recycle lol. They have one car.

My mom is a young Boomer (born in 63) is nothing like a stereotypical Boomer, primarily due to life circumstances (single mom later in life, didn't arrive in America until she was 16, etc.).

[VillainV]

Oct 29, 2018 11:19:47 GMT -5 mouse said:

At least they're liberal?

My parents are liberal....but they’re the not-so-great kind of liberal who still thinks “colorblindness” is the key to racial equality. I’ve had to explain to my mom several times that “gentrification” in her city is a bad thing and that “good schools” is coded language. I mean, I know I have my faults and have a lot to learn, but it seems like my parents patted themselves on the back and decided to stop being social activists back in the 70s.

[Deleted]

Oct 29, 2018 11:18:36 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

My mom keeps bringing me paper plates. I always hand them back to my sister when they're leaving so she can sneak them back into my mom's stash when they get home.

EVERY SINGLE TIME my dad visits, we have the same damned conversation about paper plates. Yes, we have them. No, we do not use them regularly. We use them for things like large parties and tailgates and moving day. LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. We have a bunch in our basement, and it will take us years to use them.

I texted a friend about the paper plate usage, and her response was, "Who uses paper plates for anything other than parties and picnics?" At least my friends get me.

[stever]

My mom’s thing is paper towels. She always needs like 10 of them. I’ll bring her 10 cloth napkins, but she’ll roll her eyes and get 10 paper towels to use instead.

[mbcdefg]

My mom's thing is to take what she views as the "cheaper" way out, when 9 times out of 10 it's more expensive and low-quality and a hassle to do it her way. Also because she doesn't want to come across as "too fancy" or "stuck up." Growing up we wound up with a lot of low-quality no-name stuff that wasn't any less expensive than name brand, that sort of thing. (And, look, I buy a TON of generic stuff, but I also look around for the best deals and something that won't fall apart on me immediately. No-name is no good if it tastes like shit or doesn't work. Plus, in the supermarket a lot of times name-brand stuff is on sale for cheaper than generic, etc.)

Example: She wanted her bathroom remodeled, but instead of hiring a professional she contacted an old neighbor who's a plumber. He did a pisspoor job, didn't show up half the time, delegated most of the work to a young inexperienced apprentice, and kept asking her for more money to complete the job. He wound up ghosting her after she gave him nearly $10k for a bathroom that was practically falling apart. Her friend's husband, and MH, wound up piecing it back together to at least be usable, even though it looks crappy. She also refuses to take the guy to court over it because it'd be too big a deal.

Then she wanted some other home improvement project and said she contacted "a guy she knows" to do it, rather than go through a company. *facepalm*

And, yes, she also uses paper plates. When we first bought our house and she saw that it came with a dishwasher you'd have thought I was Queen Elizabeth or something.

[downtoearth]

That would be so annoying. I'm glad babyharpy got cousin time and I hope that at least you got to have fun with the kids.

I feel like I need to confirm that not all boomers are like that. My parents are both boomers at age 68, but live pretty different. They are well-off (or at least I think so) and they own a house that is larger than they need, but right in town. It's a renovated mansion that they bought right before retirement and my dad and BIL fixed up - mostly with vintage fixtures that my parents found at estate and antique sales. They now grow a garden and are frugal about food and money, but very generous with the grandkids. They are anti-TV and don't even have one on the main floor, but my dad listens to NPR most days and it's super loud. My mom listens to NPR and podcasts a lot during the day, and they watch shows at night toghether, but not with the kids. They yell at all the grandkids to put away their devices and get really annoyed when they bring over ipods/tablets/ipads. My dad still has the same truck he got in 1999 and is has very few miles b/c he tries to walk all over. My mom golfs a lot in the summer/fall/spring, but she also has volunteer work with a teacher organization and my dad still travels to conferences and helps run a math foundation and a math/science foundation fund. They travel a lot and have gotten more liberal with age. My mom does love paper plates for holidays... what is with that? She always tries to make me use them for birthday parties. My dad has 5 siblings... and four of them are just like your parents, so I think there are a lot of boomers who aren't like my parents and more like you dad.

My ILs are similar to my parents; however, they do live out of town by about 15 min on a little land (next to a hippy yoga-retreat "ranch"). No horses, just creeks and forest... and high mpg/efficient cars, but generally want to move back toward town as they age. My MIL does watch a lot of MSNBC and HGTV when she's home alone, but turns it off when the kids are around. She plays and plans activities to do with the grandkids that mostly revolve around her work (which is outdoor and forest ecology education and fundraising). They bought the kids kindles, but also get bothered when the kids don't pay attention to them b/c of screens, so my MIL has gotten pretty good about regulating them. They are younger and both still work (although I bet they retire in the next year or so - early 60's) and they ski, hike, and camp a lot. They have also gotten more liberal with age and my MIL is starting to get involved in politics support (knocking on doors) and such. Then again, they are from N. Idaho and have lost touch with some relatives who are so VERY conservative and have gotten more conservative with age.

[CrazyLucky]

Oct 29, 2018 11:35:59 GMT -5 @angryharpy said:

Oct 29, 2018 11:18:36 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

My mom keeps bringing me paper plates. I always hand them back to my sister when they're leaving so she can sneak them back into my mom's stash when they get home.

EVERY SINGLE TIME my dad visits, we have the same damned conversation about paper plates. Yes, we have them. No, we do not use them regularly. We use them for things like large parties and tailgates and moving day. LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. We have a bunch in our basement, and it will take us years to use them.

I texted a friend about the paper plate usage, and her response was, "Who uses paper plates for anything other than parties and picnics?" At least my friends get me.

This is definitely us.  DS is 8 and I just used up the last of his 1 year birthday party.

[StrawberryBlondie]

My parents are such a weird combo. Like, they recycle and compost and get all their veg, fruit, meat, dairy, eggs, etc locally. But they both drive SUVs and use way too many paper plates and plastic solo cups (like, every year when we rent a cabin together, they bring along a huge pack of both).

My dad is also obsessed with having the TV on. Not necessarily watching it. But if he's in the house, it's on. If there's company, the TV gets muted. Not turned off. But muted. Because then people can talk. Of course, that just means people stare at a muted tv because if there's a TV on it's a compulsion to stare at it.

[leshoequeen]

I didn't realize the paper plates were a boomer thing, but my mom brings them all the time too.

[minzy]

I spent some unexpected time with a boomer in my family last week due to a funeral, and I hear you. We talked climate change and I think I may have turned blue in the face repeating the phrases “peer reviewed,” “double blind studies,” “scientific method,” “reputable journals,” “gold standard,” “consensus of 97% of the scientific community,” “part of the beauty of science is that it doesn’t care about what you think,” and “this will actually be a huge problem in the semi-near future” over and over.

I don’t think I moved the needle at all, but I take some... comfort(?) in the idea that the sphere of influence is about as small as the mind. 🙁

[was5]

Oct 29, 2018 11:35:59 GMT -5 @angryharpy said:

Oct 29, 2018 11:18:36 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

My mom keeps bringing me paper plates. I always hand them back to my sister when they're leaving so she can sneak them back into my mom's stash when they get home.

EVERY SINGLE TIME my dad visits, we have the same damned conversation about paper plates. Yes, we have them. No, we do not use them regularly. We use them for things like large parties and tailgates and moving day. LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. We have a bunch in our basement, and it will take us years to use them.

I texted a friend about the paper plate usage, and her response was, "Who uses paper plates for anything other than parties and picnics?" At least my friends get me.

My aunt is 86 and comes over about 1x per week to visit. We alternate between me cooking dinner and her buying is pizza. She asks if we have paper plates in the house every.single.time. Like, she thinks I'll finally "break down" and buy them. I don't go into a long explanation of why I don't buy them, just that I don't. I think it confuses her, because why wouldn't we make life easier on ourselves by using paper plates and cups. Then again, as the oldest of 6 children (she and my dad are 18 years apart) who almost always hosted extended family who were having financial difficulty, I can understand why at this point in her life, she is really tired of doing dishes, LOL. For most of her life, she and her sister cleaned up meals for 10-12 people. She doesn't use K-cups and she rinses her disposable cup so she only uses 1 a day. She also doesn't have a dishwasher, so she doesn't use much water (I wonder how much water would be wasted if she used a dishwasher instead of paper plates).

I grew up in a house that used paper plates quite often. We used real plates if we were sitting down to dinner together or if we were eating something that had to be cut, but we used paper for breakfast and lunch (when we were home during lunch time). My dad and his wife use them the same now - probably for most meals since it's just the two of them. I do find that I use them if they are in the house after a party, so I try to only buy what I need for a single even.

[StrawberryBlondie]

My parents have a Keurig - it apparently was a strategy to get my dad to cut back on coffee consumption. They also have a reusable k cup. They only use that one when they're out of single-use k cups though.

I don't get it. I mean, I don't drink coffee, but I understand a common complaint about them is that the coffee is kind of weak (my dad complains about this). Wouldn't a reusable k cup help with that?

[pugz]

My in laws are visiting and they watch the crappiest TV shows. We explained to them that "no we don't watch any shows on CBS, none." That network is 100% Boomer TV, lol.

I DID watch The Good Wife when it was on and the commercials for other CBS programming drove me crazy. So much crappy tv.

They also go to bed SO early. When they visit us they are in CST instead of EST and even though retired, they still want to "stay on their schedule." So instead of going to bed at 9pm like they do at home they go to bed at 8pm when they visit us. We used to play card games and such in the evenings when they visited but can't anymore because of their weird bedtime obsession.

I was peeved about this when I found out that when they visit the other grandkids in CST, they don't adhere to this time zone thing. I guess we are the black sheep. ::shrug::

[Deleted]

The bedtime thing wouldn't bug me that much, pugz, but then, you are talking to someone who is probably going to bed at 8:30 tonight. LOL!

[pugz]

Oct 29, 2018 12:28:21 GMT -5 @angryharpy said:

The bedtime thing wouldn't bug me that much, pugz , but then, you are talking to someone who is probably going to bed at 8:30 tonight. LOL!

It allows us to catch up on our shows on TV at least, lol!  We did convince them to stay up and play spades with us on Saturday night and we crushed them, maybe that is why they really want to go to bed early, haha.  

[flex]

I'm a Boomer and I don't ever use paper plates. I didn't realize that was a "Boomer thing". I do watch tv but I also stream and know a little bit about electronic technology.

I do go to bed a bit early but it's just me in the house...so yeah. If I was staying at my kid's house or somewhere else I would stay up later to be polite. lol I think the early-to-bed thing is an age thing--not a Boomer thing. Someday Gen X, Millenials, etc. will go to bed early too. : )

OH AND when I stayed at my mom's house she was ALL ABOUT having the tv on to watch Ellen, etc., and IT WAS SO LOUD! Gah. I hated that. And she refused to learn how to use a computer. But she was a pre-Boomer.

[picaflora]

YES to the paper plates! My parents use them alllll the time. Mom buys the gigantic packs from Sam's Club. But it's only plates. They use real cups/bowls/silverware. And she washes up all the dinner dishes instead of using the dishwasher, so why is it that two more plates just push things over the edge?

They've also switched to k-cups, which confuses me. My mom would drink 1/2 to a full pot of coffee during the day while Dad worked. Now that they are both home, they have NO PROBLEM drinking a full pot of coffee. But now it's a full pot worth of k-cups. And Mom complains about everywhere else having "weak" coffee, but she finds the Keurig coffee fine?!? I really don't get it. We have a Ninja Coffee Bar, and when my parents came up last time I showed them how they can make the different sizes as needed. And... my dad still made it one cup at a time. At least that just meant more coffee/filters for our compost pile.

Mom CANNOT put down her IPad. I'll call home, and I can hear her playing some game on it while (attempting) to talk to me. It means I have to repeat everything multiple times, or she calls back a couple hours later because she's forgotten the dates (or whatever reason I called). Even Dad regrets getting her that thing. They'll both sit around the house for 1/2 an hour waiting on the other one to be "ready" to go to dinner. H has taken to hiding the IPad if Mom puts it down anytime after 4:30pm. ('Oops! It must have fallen in the couch cushion!') The TV is also always on, and drives me bananas. We don't have cable, so the TV is only on if we're purposely watching something. The constant noise makes me so rattled now - I can't even think much less attempt to carry on a conversation.

[mbcdefg]

Oct 29, 2018 12:46:56 GMT -5 melmaria said:

But their fridge is always packed to the gills/overflowing at all times, half with expired condiments and weird shit. 

My mom's too - there's never any room in her fridge or freezer for new stuff. My sister lives with her and when my mom goes out, Sis will often go through the freezer and throw stuff out.

And my mom barely eats anything as it is, so IDK WTF she's buying or saving it for.

[eddy]

Boomer love them some CBS.

I have a funny story about my parents and large ass vehicles. So they had J as a toddler for a weekend once. It was winter and it had snowed. When they were driving their small SUV to meet us they saw several small SUV vehicles in the ditch. It freaked my mom out that she was driving with her precious grandchild in a vehicle that they, gasp, saw in the ditch. On Monday they went out and bought a Tahoe. Meanwhile, we drove a small SUV and deemed it perfectly safe to drive our child around in lolol. Before my mom died they were driving a Tahoe and a Big Chevy truck. My dad is a farmer so the truck was necessary. The Tahoe was not! They fucking love them some big ass vehicles.

[eddy]

Also my ILS have THREE fridges, one deep freeze and a huge pantry just full of food. For the two if them.... If the end of times every happen, I am going to their house. They will be set without a grocery run.

Meanwhile, our family of four manages to survive on one fridge and tiny deep freeze lol.

[msmerymac]

Oct 29, 2018 11:40:58 GMT -5 stever said:

My mom’s thing is paper towels. She always needs like 10 of them. I’ll bring her 10 cloth napkins, but she’ll roll her eyes and get 10 paper towels to use instead.

My stepfather does this. He goes through a roll of paper towels about every other day, whereas we take a month to use one. I have no idea what he is doing with him, but I suspect he's using them to dry the dishes, even though we have about 15 dish towels, and 2 are hanging up in the kitchen at all times.

[msmerymac]

And my in-laws have so much crap in their fridge that they just store the Thanksgiving leftovers in the garage on or the porch because they won't fit. :/