Post by litskispeciality on Jul 17, 2019 19:57:25 GMT -5
I sort of have to laugh at using a credit card to pay for a dog, or a tattoo, how do they repo what you own? I know weddings are expensive AF but it's the same way with getting a loan for a wedding, it's already done so if you dont pay you can't take it back. Going into more debt with interest though thats crazy. Although we put a lot of wedding stuff on a CC that had points, while we had saved up we got a lot of interest and ended up paying more.
I sort of have to laugh at using a credit card to pay for a dog, or a tattoo, how do they repo what you own? I know weddings are expensive AF but it's the same way with getting a loan for a wedding, it's already done so if you dont pay you can't take it back. Going into more debt with interest though thats crazy. Although we put a lot of wedding stuff on a CC that had points, while we had saved up we got a lot of interest and ended up paying more.
a credit card is not going to repo anything. they'll send you to collections or sue you if you don't pay. That is they don't give up and write it off.
My coworker's daughter spent $800+ on some fancy kitten, I forget the breed now, it was fluffy and cute for sure, but not $800 cute. And not fly it across multiple states cute. My coworker was just astounded that she paid that kind of money for a kitten lol.
With my experiences this past year, I don't see why any breeders are "good" or "bad." I don't think they should exist except for true service animal situations. There are so many animals who need homes.
Post by niemand88f on Jul 17, 2019 21:52:38 GMT -5
There are still shelters in this country with <50% save rates for dogs, and even worse for cats. It makes me angry to hear about people buying cats in particular. So many perfect pet cats are killed in shelters, why are you so special that purchased cat's appearance or X characteristic matters more than rescue cat's life? And kittens, I've had to personally euthanize dozens of suffering kittens that ended up with us ultimately because of cat overpopulation (we do not euth for space), and had many more die despite all our best efforts. Tell me you really need to buy that cat after you've held a kitten dying of pneumonia in your hands while you're rushing to get the drugs to end its pain, or picked maggots out of a cat's eyes, or had to figure out what to do with new kittens who were covered in glue, or met the super sweet and friendly cat who was returned for peeing outside the litterbox and just needed a course of antibiotics to get back to normal. I guess they're just someone else's problem. You aren't the one having to make the hard choices and you don't care about those who do (the general "you" who buys a cat).
The kind of people that are not prepared to deal with issues that many rescue dogs come with. I know you had said that people saying "he's a rescue..." to describe a dog's bad/odd behavior is a pet peeve, but let's be honest, a lot of older dogs in rescue are there due to poor behavior whether it be from coming from a bad situation where a dog is not properly socialized or from someone giving up a cute puppy when it enters it's naughty "teenage" years. And sometimes just being "a rescue" IS the reason for a dog's poor behavior - shelter-based rescues with not enough volunteers to socialize dogs, bouncing around to too many foster homes, etc. These behaviors may not be the dog's fault and may be totally normal for the dog's age, but there is a big difference between knowing/training a dog up from a puppy and acquiring a teenager that has bad habits in place that will take more time and patience to correct. While you can certainly teach an old dog new tricks, bad habits in an adult dog are certainly harder to fix than in a puppy. And yes, I know that you can get a puppy through a rescue as well and that there are many legit rescues adopting out puppies but I'm getting wary of more and more of these lately. So many fly-by-night shady "rescues" dealing in puppies that are just as bad as the backyard breeders (or actually are backyard breeders.)
I don't want to come off as anti-rescue, but once you've had multiple fosters adopted out and then returned because adopters can't/aren't willing to put the time into helping an older dog adjust and overcome their issues you sour on the "everyone should just adopt" very quickly.
Hopping off my soapbox now, I could go on forever. This has been a topic that has been weighing heavily on me as I've had 2 fosters in the past 3 months be returned through no fault of their own. Now I'm working to correct bad behaviors that I know they did not leave here with - food stealing and bolting out the door. And working to adopt them because I can't watch them go out the door again
You make some valid points and I want to thank you for all you're doing for the dogs you're trying to help. I know you're making a difference in their lives. <3
Thanks. I know that for the most part I'm preaching to the choir in this group, it just hit a nerve today and I needed the vent
Post by Leeham Rimes on Jul 18, 2019 6:31:51 GMT -5
I’m rolling my eyes in the inheritance post about a child deserving a nearly free house for cooking and driving his mom to the doctors. I wish they could see what true caregiving for the elderly actually looks like bc that ain’t it.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
H knows someone who spent $8k on a French bulldog. I just laugh and laugh. He put it in a credit card too so it’ll probably end up a $10k dog once it’s actually paid off.
That is not a sound financial investment.
dude that was so dumb. Rescue a frenchie and put the 8k in savings for the health issues that are to come. The sweet dogs are so messed up
Rescuing one is not terribly easy. I guess they’re in high demand so the rescues around here don’t have a whole lot. The ones that they do have, have pretty bad health issues and caveats (can’t be with kids/cats/other dogs). I love frenchies so much but I’m pretty sure ill never have one. Bc I’m not buying one, ever, and my house isn’t equipped for a dog with special health needs. And as a breed, they seem to have medical issues even if a “reputable breeder” is involved. So I’ll just have to find a few to dog sit and love on without the medical bill commitment.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I loved Sublime as a teenager, but in retrospect, a lot of their songs had pretty awful lyrics. Why didn't more radio stations in the 90s think twice about playing a song about a grown man having sex with a 12-year-old (Wrong Way)?
Come to think of it, I've heard that song on the radio within the last year, so I guess current radio stations don't have a problem with it either.
I recently downloaded and then deleted Funky Cold Medina. Oh no oh no.
I’m rolling my eyes in the inheritance post about a child deserving a nearly free house for cooking and driving his mom to the doctors. I wish they could see what true caregiving for the elderly actually looks like bc that ain’t it.
I'm going to add why are you thinking about, and/or feeling entitled to inheritance if you're not helping your parents? One of my SIL's has lived in her parents house pretty much forever. She's almost 50, has grandkids (young mom who's daughter had kids young) who just feels like shes owed the house and if she doesn't move she'll have to get it when her parents pass. I guess I was raised different, I can't imagine that level of entitlement. To get them back her dad makes SIL's husband pay rent, probably higher than they'd pay on their own, but I don't feel bad get your own place and grow up.
There are still shelters in this country with <50% save rates for dogs, and even worse for cats. It makes me angry to hear about people buying cats in particular. So many perfect pet cats are killed in shelters, why are you so special that purchased cat's appearance or X characteristic matters more than rescue cat's life? And kittens, I've had to personally euthanize dozens of suffering kittens that ended up with us ultimately because of cat overpopulation (we do not euth for space), and had many more die despite all our best efforts. Tell me you really need to buy that cat after you've held a kitten dying of pneumonia in your hands while you're rushing to get the drugs to end its pain, or picked maggots out of a cat's eyes, or had to figure out what to do with new kittens who were covered in glue, or met the super sweet and friendly cat who was returned for peeing outside the litterbox and just needed a course of antibiotics to get back to normal. I guess they're just someone else's problem. You aren't the one having to make the hard choices and you don't care about those who do (the general "you" who buys a cat).
I'll preface by saying that all the pets I've ever had came from a shelter or off the street ( overseas) or were being re-homed by someone.
I don't understand the bolded. I know you are talking about buying animals, but it seems like you are saying people should adopt whatever is at a shelter-a kitten with pneumonia or a cat who pees outside of the box because if you really cared about animals, you would. If I want an all black cat female cat, I'm going to wait until the shelter has one to adopt. I'm not going to take home a male siamese kitten who needs insulin just because that's what is available. It doesn't mean I'm uncaring. Not everyone is able or wants to take on a cat that needs medical treatments.
I’m rolling my eyes in the inheritance post about a child deserving a nearly free house for cooking and driving his mom to the doctors. I wish they could see what true caregiving for the elderly actually looks like bc that ain’t it.
I'm going to add why are you thinking about, and/or feeling entitled to inheritance if you're not helping your parents? One of my SIL's has lived in her parents house pretty much forever. She's almost 50, has grandkids (young mom who's daughter had kids young) who just feels like shes owed the house and if she doesn't move she'll have to get it when her parents pass. I guess I was raised different, I can't imagine that level of entitlement. To get them back her dad makes SIL's husband pay rent, probably higher than they'd pay on their own, but I don't feel bad get your own place and grow up.
Take away the "if you're not helping" - why do people feel they are entitled period??
Sure, I've thought about the "what ifs" if we were to inherit money, but I don't "expect" it and I haven't calculated the worth of either my parents home or my FILs home! Now, that entire post did get me thinking more about my dad and I actually want to have a talk with my stepmom about their will and how it's set up- purely to the degree of "IF something were to happen to you (she becomes incapacitated herself or - god forbid - dies), how do we take care of you/dad?" (my dad has dementia).
I see their house purely as the $$ we may need one day to take care of my dad. IT's not $$ that will be going into my pocket.
I think it is gross when people swirl around old people like vultures... itemizing or vocalizing what they hope to get. My sister (who I am not close with) started telling my mom... “I want that when you die” when my mom was in her forties. Now, she regularly brings up items that she wants and insists to know how things will be divided.
My mom has a house with a mortgage and a few items worth money (art and antiques).
It is disgusting.
I think if you are left something when someone passes... that is a nice thing. Don’t sit around planning for a pay day when someone dies.
For the other thread, I think the mom should keep the house because she may need the money for her care. It is HER money/house. You aren’t entitled to anything even if you help care for someone.
I think it is gross when people swirl around old people like vultures... itemizing or vocalizing what they hope to get. My sister (who I am not close with) started telling my mom... “I want that when you die” when my mom was in her forties. Now, she regularly brings up items that she wants and insists to know how things will be divided.
My mom has a house with a mortgage and a few items worth money (art and antiques).
It is disgusting.
I think if you are left something when someone passes... that is a nice thing. Don’t sit around planning for a pay day when someone dies.
For the other thread, I think the mom should keep the house because she may need the money for her care. It is HER money/house. You aren’t entitled to anything even if you help care for someone.
After Christmas dinner last year, my parents were like "we're updating our will - what does everyone want?"
I think it is gross when people swirl around old people like vultures... itemizing or vocalizing what they hope to get. My sister (who I am not close with) started telling my mom... “I want that when you die” when my mom was in her forties. Now, she regularly brings up items that she wants and insists to know how things will be divided.
My mom has a house with a mortgage and a few items worth money (art and antiques).
It is disgusting.
I think if you are left something when someone passes... that is a nice thing. Don’t sit around planning for a pay day when someone dies.
For the other thread, I think the mom should keep the house because she may need the money for her care. It is HER money/house. You aren’t entitled to anything even if you help care for someone.
After Christmas dinner last year, my parents were like "we're updating our will - what does everyone want?"
My husband’s uncle left things to various people and did discuss it with people well before his death, but it is different than... hey, dad, you are near death, this is what I want.”
My sister has went so far as to say she will get a lawyer after my brother and I if she feels things are “unfair.” She is nuts about it. 🤣
After Christmas dinner last year, my parents were like "we're updating our will - what does everyone want?"
My husband’s uncle left things to various people and did discuss it with people well before his death, but it is different than... hey, dad, you are near death, this is what I want.”
My sister has went so far as to say she will get a lawyer after my brother and I if she feels things are “unfair.” She is nuts about it. 🤣
I think that's why it's so important to talk about these things before people are dying or die. We decided as a family that I would be the executor. My parents' will is really clear so we know it's fair. I said I wanted my mom's engagement ring and my sister wanted a piece of furniture. It's a lot easier to "claim" things when no one is emotional or dying.
Post by litskispeciality on Jul 18, 2019 10:29:41 GMT -5
I also say people who really help, true caregivers who give up their whole life, should be entitled to first rights if you will to say purchase the property or inherit if anything is left because they put in the work. I understand not everyone can or wants to be a caregiver, but as stated before there are a lot of douchenozles who come out of the wood work at the time of death. DH's aunt passed away owning the family "home" if you can really call it that. My FIL was the caregiver, down to only taking breaks when someone from hospice was there. An uncle divorced from the family wanted to take over the family property just so he could sell it. Unfortunately they didn't have the conversation or sign the will so his family is still dealing with stuff years later.
ETA: Since the deceased is the one who earned the money, if they have anything left they can donate it to the cats who turn on stoves foundation for all I care. I don't think anyone is truely entitled, but knowing a little bit about how much goes into elderly parent care that should count for something if there's anything left to inherit.
It's super important to have these conversations, even when you're young and healthy as anything can happen. It came up on another thread some time ago about if you had a conversation with your spouse about if you would ever remarry should something happen to them? It's a hard conversation, but important to know what people want. We didn't know what kind of burial my mom wanted, we just had to do what we could afford.
And there's a big diffrence between saying I want a chair and I expect to inhert the home because I'm the child. To me the other post seemed more like well you birthed me, how much will I get when you die? It also depends on delivery. Standing there saying to your 50 year old mother I'm getting the house vs. hey grandma I'd like to inherit your china makes a big difference.
Threads like this always remind me of how my BIL's older sister kept referring to herself as "the heiress" at my sister's wedding. She and BIL have wealthy parents, but they also both have some very serious health problems that are only getting worse. SIL has basically never worked a real job in her life, and is almost 100% supported by her parents even now that she's in her 40's. At some point the money is going to run out and it's going to get ugly.
I think it is good to have a Will and discuss an executor. Or, to discuss the importance of a Will... That isn’t what is happening... it is dictating, or attempting to dictate...
Post by picksthemusic on Jul 18, 2019 10:50:26 GMT -5
My grandmother passed 2 years ago, and my grandfather recently sold the home they lived in for 40 years. We absolutely had conversations about items we wanted and will want once my mom passes, and not in a greedy way. It was an effort to be practical.
I can communicate wants and desires and also be incredibly sad about the changes my family is going through right now.
Post by WOUNDTIGHT on Jul 18, 2019 11:01:12 GMT -5
I guess my UO is if my sibling moved in with my elderly parent and was solely responsible for getting her to doctors appointments, keeping up the house, keeping her company, etc, I’d be all 🤷♀️ If he wanted to buy her house and keep her in it and provide care. There would be stipulations, and I’d expect them to pay full market value for the house, but having my mom live with someone in her old age would be a huge unburdening for me.