Post by Velar Fricative on Apr 8, 2020 20:22:01 GMT -5
We live in NYC so that would be a hell to the no to this. Too many essential workers around here too so the risk is compounded if we socialized with anyone. It sucks. Everyone on our block is sticking to the rules, so that’s been nice to see. We do have small city yards so yelling across our yards has been nice, at least.
Well I had a long talk with DD1 about why we can't play with the other kids (AGAIN). She said she understands but we will see. It sucks so much because these are our two immediate neighbors, so 1) we can see/hear them *constantly* and 2) we're trying really hard not to make this awkward and it isn't working. They really see nothing wrong with it and would be fine with us playing with them too. So it is not like they "partnered up" or anything. DD1 will be in K with one of their kids, who is also a teacher at that school, so I need to tread lightly to not offend them by accidentally calling them careless or stupid (which is what I feel inside).
Thanks for reassuring me that we are doing the right thing.
My 3 kids are still playing with 2 neighbors. One family has 3 kids and the other has 4 kids. 2 days ago another neighbor yelled at them and told them they should not be playing together and that their parents should read the law book. I get it, and she has a point, but she should talk to us, the parents, if she has an issue, not yell at the kids.
Yes, her yelling at your kids that they shouldn't be playing together during this time instead of talking to the parents is TOTALLY th problem in your scenario; it's not a giant group of unrelated kids from separate households playing together. How exactly is she supposed to do that while socially distancing? So now you have forced her into a position where she has to get close enough to have a conversation and personally convince her neighbors to follow the damn rules? Don't want your kids yelled at? KEEP THEM AT HOME AND AWAY FROM THE NEIGHBOR CHILDREN.
At the very beginning, we let DD see one friend and her cousins once each but it was before the Stay Home directive was in place here. She hasn't played with another kid in weeks. She's only child. If she can do it, your freaking THREE kids can do it, too. We are far enough into this, you know what you should be doing.
Post by fancynewbeesly on Apr 8, 2020 20:51:27 GMT -5
Nope. Nope. Nope.
DH is already deemed essential (banking) but he wasn't comfortable working until it was drive through only. DD is high risk. I haven't left the house since mid March, except for walks around our quiet neighborhood. DD1 and DD2 same. We haven't gone into a store since mid March either. We have anxiety that we have a plumber coming tomorrow.
We do have a babysitter for DD2 for when I WFH, but except for our house and her house (with her two young adult daughters) no one there has gone out either.
But there is no way in hell that DD would be playing with other kids. She can face time them for hours. But that is it.
Any increase in the number of people in your "circle" involves some increased risk. We are six noses breathing shared air in a densely populated area instead of two circles of three. We do joint grocery planning, shipments, and pickups, but it has not been perfect. It was a plan chosen in an attempt to save our jobs, and we felt this was a way to do that while remaining low risk. Regardless, anyone impacted by this disease is justified in feeling anger at the perception that not everyone is taking all the steps they could. For that reason I regret having brought it up since it clearly caused additional pain and I'm sorry.
Like everybody else isn't in the same circle? What makes you so special?
My 3 kids are still playing with 2 neighbors. One family has 3 kids and the other has 4 kids. 2 days ago another neighbor yelled at them and told them they should not be playing together and that their parents should read the law book. I get it, and she has a point, but she should talk to us, the parents, if she has an issue, not yell at the kids.
I've never said this to anyone here but you should be ASHAMED of yourself. People are dying. Your kids can stay the fuck home. That neighbor is trying to do the right thing and save a life. Would you be comfortable if your child gave the virus to one of the other kids and they died? What the hell is wrong with you?
Absolutely not, and I'm kind of horrified at your neighbors. Do people not understand the severity of this situation?!
Although we had an accidental social distancing fail Monday. DS's friend who lives a few blocks away came over and wrote a message on our sidewalk with chalk (we were out). DS and I walked over Monday to return the favor and they were on their front porch. Moments after we got there the kids saw a rabbit on the sidewalk and went running after it together holding hands (they're 3). Me and the other mom ran after them, separated them, and carried our screaming crying kids away from each other but it was such a big sad fail.
We are not seeing anyone outside of our household, but something similar happened to us a couple of weeks ago. There are a few groups of neighborhood kids who are still riding bikes together, and it is killing L. There are brothers across the street who play basketball all of the time and normally she runs across the street and they’ll hang out with her (a 9 yr old and a 12 yr old, chilling with my 3 yr old lol), but she obviously isn’t allowed right now. But anyway, she was in the garage with me when we were clearing some things out of the attic. When she saw all of the kids, she ran to the end of the driveway and before I could stop them, one of them went by and high-fived her. Poor thing is so starved for contact with other kids, her entire face just lit up. I just dragged her inside and washed her hands ASAP, and now we don’t go outside if I hear any of them.
ETA: I will say however, that I do not at all agree that the toddler age is the easiest age to isolate. Maybe other kids are less social, but my kid asks about her friends and the places we normally go, EVERY DAY. And while I have explained things to her and keep reminding her, she doesn’t really get it. (Of course not, she just turned 3.) Meanwhike my nieces who are 8 and 11 understand. Does it suck? Sure. But they can have a conversation about it and get why it is happening. It is heartbreaking to watch my 3 year old cry and say she just wants to say hi to her friends or see other kids, when I tell her she can’t walk across the street.
Any increase in the number of people in your "circle" involves some increased risk. We are six noses breathing shared air in a densely populated area instead of two circles of three. We do joint grocery planning, shipments, and pickups, but it has not been perfect. It was a plan chosen in an attempt to save our jobs, and we felt this was a way to do that while remaining low risk. Regardless, anyone impacted by this disease is justified in feeling anger at the perception that not everyone is taking all the steps they could. For that reason I regret having brought it up since it clearly caused additional pain and I'm sorry.
Like everybody else isn't in the same circle? What makes you so special?
Do you feel all daycares should be closed? What do you think the safest path forward is for families with two essential workers and kids who need active supervision if flexing hours isn't an option?
Like everybody else isn't in the same circle? What makes you so special?
Do you feel all daycares should be closed? What do you think the safest path forward is for families with two essential workers and kids who need active supervision if flexing hours isn't an option?
Do you feel all daycares should be closed? What do you think the safest path forward is for families with two essential workers and kids who need active supervision if flexing hours isn't an option?
Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.
But...isn't that what you are responding to? I mean it's buried in a thread about parents allowing their kids to play with the neighbors for the sake of playing with the neighbors, which is ridiculous, but you specifically responded to the bit about parents of two year olds partnering together so that the four parents could save their jobs by having more adults to spread childcare responsibilities between. That seems more socially responsible than sending them to daycare where there are more families involved. It seems safer than having a grandparent who would likely be at higher risk watch the kids.
I think there can be some distinction given between parents who are just ignoring all recommendations and letting their kids have playdates with the neighbors and parents who are trying to reduce risk as much as possible while still remaining employed.
I only know one friend doing this (with her next door neighbors). And yes she is doing all of the grocery shopping for both families.
I think it could be a powerful idea for singles who live alone. Human contact is really important for mental health.
I am not doing this at all, so I don’t have a horse in this race or anything. Just wanted to let others know this is not something people made up themselves.
I can understand this for singles who live alone, I can’t believe Alberta is suggesting this for families though. We are being told in Ontario to stay the f*** home unless we are essential workers.
Agree, in BC the curve is flattening but we have been told to keep doing what we're doing. I don't know anyone who imagines things will change anytime soon.
Nope, not at all. And it infuriates me that many of the other neighbor kids continue to play outside like normal. There’s a green space directly in front of our house that all the kids normally gather at (a group of probably 10-12 kids, including ours), and at least half of them still gather as normal every single day. And many of their parents are either still working or going out, so there’s risk for all involved (5,500+ cases in our state). It was really hard for our kids the first week or so, but now they just say that those kids are making bad decisions (lol). My biggest frustration is that any time we go out to take a walk or play in our front yard (we don’t have a backyard), the other kids come running over to try to talk or play, even though we’ve told them a million times that our kids won’t be playing right now. DH ended up making a line out in the street in front of our house out of chalk that we call the “quarantine line”. We tell the neighbor kids they can’t cross that line if they want to talk. It’s not perfect, but at least it helps give them a visual.
lacey, I can see where you’re coming from. I think your situation is different from just letting your kids play with other kids. DH and I are both in essential industries and although we can work from home, it wouldn’t be possible to keep our jobs without some childcare help for our 3 little kids - our 2-year-old boy especially. So we have reluctantly included my parents in our social distancing, and later after over two weeks of both of our households self-isolating, our toddler’s old daycare provider as well (who lives one street away with her husband and hasn’t been in contact with anyone else, including her own local extended family, because some of them are still working outside their homes).
My parents and daycare provider are all over 60, so it’s not ideal. But now that we’re on week 4 and everyone is being super careful, we’ve made peace with it. We can just barely get our work done with 3-4 hours of childcare per day from them. Then we stagger our other hours and take advantage of the toddler’s naptime.
We typically have other babysitter help, and those babysitters are free now, but because they’re still interacting with the outside world, we are paying them but not having them come.
We're not, but our neighbors are outside everyday playing in the street having a grand time. DS is dying to go outside and play with them at a distance (he wants to just stay in our drive way and talk to them from there) but DH and I still feel it's too risky. Kids get excited and may unintentionally run over to our space or vice versa. My heart aches for my DS. He wants nothing more than to interact with other kids and facetime/xbox/roblox chatting is starting to not be enough. He's 9 and he gets why we're staying inside and why he can't be with his friends right now, but it still sucks. We were talking at breakfast yesterday and he said he feels sad because he can't see anyone.
sdlaura, it's not actually my situation. I'm tired and probably should have just stayed quiet.
We are both essential employees with the ability to work from home. We pulled our kids from daycare ("voluntarily" - daycare is still open for essential workers). We do not have parents geographically close enough to get childcare help from nor do we have any friends we feel comfortable partnering with. We are muddling through this with a 4 yo and an almost 2 year old who needs active supervision. We are making it work and we are fortunate that we have so far been able to do so.
But...isn't that what you are responding to? I mean it's buried in a thread about parents allowing their kids to play with the neighbors for the sake of playing with the neighbors, which is ridiculous, but you specifically responded to the bit about parents of two year olds partnering together so that the four parents could save their jobs by having more adults to spread childcare responsibilities between. That seems more socially responsible than sending them to daycare where there are more families involved. It seems safer than having a grandparent who would likely be at higher risk watch the kids.
I think there can be some distinction given between parents who are just ignoring all recommendations and letting their kids have playdates with the neighbors and parents who are trying to reduce risk as much as possible while still remaining employed.
There is a distinction between front line workers and essential workers and essential workers with the ability to work from home. I’m going to assume that poster who said they picked this set up to save their jobs probably has the ability for at least one of them to work from home, unless she says otherwise.
If everyone believes they have a super special reason to not follow what they are being told which is to stay at home/avoid play dates etc, then this is going to go on for so much than it needs to.
I am an essential workers, as is H, but only I have the ability to work from home so I am doing so with a 2 year old, solo. I would LOVE if I could partner with another family and dump my kid there but alas.
I don't post on here much but I'm going to chime in because I think some of this judgement is overblown. We do allow our kids to play (outside only) with our trusted neighbors. By the time our shelter in place orders were given, both families had been completely isolated for two weeks already. No errands, no trips to the grocery store, nothing more than a walk in the neighborhood at a very safe distance from others. The only other contact we had was with each other, and only outdoors. We try to keep a distance as much as we can. When the orders came we debated what to do. We decided that, for our families, there was minimal additional risk, but we agreed we had a responsibility to each other and to our community to keep ourselves 100% isolated. We have not left the house other than a short neighborhood walk. We are fully stocked and have been able to get extras delivered (wiping them down, of course). Mental health is important, too. Take the risks that you are comfortable with, as long as you don't pass those risks on to someone else.
Overblown?
Did you miss that 1800 people died yesterday from this in our country and we are not near the peak yet?
I don't post on here much but I'm going to chime in because I think some of this judgement is overblown. We do allow our kids to play (outside only) with our trusted neighbors. By the time our shelter in place orders were given, both families had been completely isolated for two weeks already. No errands, no trips to the grocery store, nothing more than a walk in the neighborhood at a very safe distance from others. The only other contact we had was with each other, and only outdoors. We try to keep a distance as much as we can. When the orders came we debated what to do. We decided that, for our families, there was minimal additional risk, but we agreed we had a responsibility to each other and to our community to keep ourselves 100% isolated. We have not left the house other than a short neighborhood walk. We are fully stocked and have been able to get extras delivered (wiping them down, of course). Mental health is important, too. Take the risks that you are comfortable with, as long as you don't pass those risks on to someone else.
The attitude of taking the risks you're comfortable with is exactly the problem and why we'll be stuck in quarantine forever. If you get it, now you've exposed your neighbors, now hospitals have double the number of patients to deal with because two families couldn't follow the rules set in place by the experts.
i can't believe anyone actually admitted to letting their kids do this in here. like... really?
i know of ONE family where both parents are essential front line hospital workers, so they are partnering with her parents and functioning as a single household. they have two young kids and the dad was a stay at home dad, but the job he left was respiratory therapist so he's answering the call. she also has a very necessary job in the medical field and can absolutely nto work from home.
this is the exception to the rule of keep your freaking kids away from other households at all times.
all four of my kids grandparents live within five miles of us and we haven't seen them in person in a MONTH. a month.
The amount of anxiety my husband deals with because he has to go to work everyday is crushing him. There’s literally no way to not come into contact with another person in some manner. Even grocery pick up.
I cannot believe you all are still rationalizing shit in this thread.
I’m so sorry preppy. Thinking of you and your family.
The amount of anxiety my husband deals with because he has to go to work everyday is crushing him. There’s literally no way to not come into contact with another person in some manner. Even grocery pick up.
I cannot believe you all are still rationalizing shit in this thread.
I’m so sorry preppy. Thinking of you and your family.
Same. My h is a healthcare worker and actually moved out of the house temporarily because the thought of bringing the virus home to us was giving him so much anxiety.
DS is 2, and he does ask to see his sitter on an almost daily basis, as well as the friends he has at her house. I just tell him "Not today, bud" and he accepts that, so while that part is easier than an older child, he does still remember the fact that he has other people in his life.
I have some experience with this, unfortunately. The other day we were playing outside. DS was riding his bike in our very quiet street (we're the only house on our street, with a dance studio across the street which is closed right now), and I was sitting at the bottom of our semi steep driveway. A mom and her son, who live in the apartment complex across the street perpendicular to ours, rode past us and the little boy started towards our driveway. His mom asked if I minded if he used our driveway as a ramp for him to ride up and down. Yes, I fucking mind! We're supposed to be socially distancing. She got all butt hurt but I don't care. That was in the morning. That afternoon, DS and I were outside, and they started riding towards us. We ended up going inside for other reasons, but as soon as we did, she made a beeline for our driveway with her son! Our landlord came home shortly after (we live in a duplex and he lives in the other half) and I don't know what he said, but she was gone shortly after and I haven't seen her since. People are just that stupid...
Listen, working from home with both kids is slowly killing me. Trust me when I say I am not cut out for multiple days on end at home with my kids. And trying to work from home is just the topping on a shit sundae, but if you can honestly read some of the threads on here and in the news and still do a playdate with neighbors then you need a serious reality check.
Fathers are dying alone in hospital beds. Best friends are missing the funerals of their loved ones. Brothers are dying alone in a hospital and saying goodbye over facetime. Fathers are missing the births of their children.
But your 3 kids are bored and must play with the neighbors? So sorry for them.
Did you miss that 1800 people died yesterday from this in our country and we are not near the peak yet?
Of course I'm aware of the severity of the situation. I'm not saying this health crisis is overblown, but the sanctimonious judgment of anyone who might have any contact with anyone for any reason is a bit much.
OMG THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE AND HAVING A PLAYDATE!
🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I cannot. This is why this country is a laughingstock across the world. Please stop making Americans look like idiots!
No, and I think people have a false sense of security when it comes to hanging out with people they know. I know someone who caught coronavirus from her SIL — and I couldn’t help thinking, why were you still hanging around your SIL!?!?
The longer we break the rules, the longer this will drag on. Period. Social distancing is slowing the number of new infections, so we’re not all getting sick at the same time — which is the point! — but the flip side of that is that it’s still trickling through communities who think they’re immune, extending the long tail. And if it hasn’t hit your community yet, that is PRIME TIME to take it seriously because social distancing is about prevention. Taking it seriously after it hits is TOO LATE. Didn’t we see that with the CDC?
Also, I’ll admit that I might have been more sympathetic to this sort of thing five weeks ago, but now that I know healthcare workers on the frontlines AND multiple people who’ve contracted COVID19, I am team stay the fuck away from everyone until this is over. There’s no more ignorance is bliss over here.
I think a lot of people still think the folks most likely to get sick are 1) old 2) in poor health. That is not the case at all. Young families are not immune.