Are you still playing with neighbors?

[noodleoo]

If you have a shelter in place order, are you still letting your kids play with other kids in the neighborhood?  We are not, and I'm trying to figure out if I'm being over protective or not.  There are a bunch of families with kids near us and two families in particular are completely socializing like normal.  Their 4 kids are playing together, sharing toys (balls, bats, etc), playing on one family's swingset together, etc.  The parents are all outside sitting together and chatting, etc.  This is right next door to us.  My DD1 is dying to play with them and has her nose pressed to the windows whenever they are out (which is all day when the weather is nice).  I try to take her out to play in our yard, but she just wants to go with the other kids and then melts down and we have to go inside.  I broke down and let her ride bikes with them yesterday, but it is a slippery slope.  Plus the parents are all acting normal so I feel weird telling her to keep her distance, etc.  This is all so awkward and frustrating!!!  I am actually happy it is raining today, which sucks.  This is going to be a LONG spring/summer.

I want you to tell me I can let her play but I'm guessing the answer is still no... our county has the most cases in MA and our peak is coming in the next 2 weeks.  

[pandora89]

Absolutely not.

We stick to our yard for the most part but go out front to ride bikes or scooter. DS always plays by himself, as do all the neighbour kids. One of us crosses the street if we are passing someone.

All my mom friends from maternity leave are doing the same. No playdates/sharing toys etc.

You are not being over protective. The neighbours are being stupid.

[marie]

Nope. None of my friend group is either, thankfully. We are also in MA and we cannot be relaxed about this based on our numbers.

[minniemouse]

No, it totally sucks. Dd1’s best friend lives next door. They yell to each other if they are both outside but they can’t play together. In normal times, on non-school days, they bounce between houses all day long.

[timorousbeastie]

No. Definitely no. This is not being overprotective. It is doing exactly what needs to be done to protect both your own family and society as a whole. I know it is so very hard on kids to watch other kids playing together, but there should absolutely not be any playing among different families. Just think of telling her no now as practice for when she’s a teenager and you have to tell her she can’t do the 15297425 stupid/dangerous/utterly ridiculous things that, from every teenager’s view, allllllll the kids are doing 😋

[usuallylurking]

Apr 8, 2020 12:03:57 GMT -5 pandora89 said:

You are not being over protective. The neighbours are being stupid.

Absolutely this. Daycares aren’t closed for no reason. Same with playgrounds. If it was fine for kids to be playing together daycares would be open while parents work from home.

I read an account of a woman who had two positive tests, 14 days apart, and had NO symptoms the entire time. There is no way at this point in time to know who does and does not have the virus. Relying on exhibiting symptoms only is not guaranteed.

[ohgillian]

No, not a chance.

[lilac05]

No, we’re not.

We don’t have SIP orders here. We did walk down to our neighbor’s house last week and said hello from the end of their driveway, but other than that, it’s Messenger Kids a little each day for socializing. Other neighborhood kids have been playing together, but thankfully, we can’t see them. My kids don’t ask. However, our good friends’ kids can see the other kids playing together, and keep begging their mom, “Please, Mom! Can’t we just play with ONE FAMILY?? JUST ONE?!?” No.

And even as tempted as I am, since all 4 adults work from home and make a maximum of 1 grocery trip out a week per family, we will stick to this. It’s easier for me to just say absolutely not than try to say, “Just this once...” or “Yes, but...here are the rules.” They do better with clear rules, and it’s what we should be doing anyway.

[ktw]

This is the only time I'm happy not to live in a traditional neighborhood - no one for my kids to gaze longingly at. So, I'm not in your position, but if I was, I wouldn't allow my kids to play with them.

[CrazyLucky]

Outlier. Our kids are playing with the neighborhood kids. Outside only. Daycare is closed and the kids are not directly exposed to anyone else. Adults are not socializing. Our county has 8 cases so far. DH has super anxiety even in the best of times, but even he is mostly ok with what we're doing. If we were in an area with a higher incidence, we would probably have different thoughts.

[egishere]

Nope I'm pretty breezy about things but my kids have not played with any of the neighbor kids in three weeks.

[sdlaura]

Nope. Ever since our elementary school closed on 3/13, none of the parents I know have been letting their kids play.

Only exceptions I know of locally are one family who decided early on that their social distancing group would be just them and the family next door and none of them would interact with anyone else. There is one family on our street where the two middle school girls across the street are still interacting, but being very careful to say physically apart.

[sillygoosegirl]

We've been allowing DD to play outside with a single neighbor child, >6 feet apart and not sharing toys. Also bicycling in the same general vicinity as this other family.

We aren't hit as hard as many areas, we think. Our local stay home order doesn't ban all social gatherings, just those where social distance >6 ft cannot be maintained.

[Susie]

Nope, not with neighbors, not with cousins, not with daycare friends, nada. Doesn't matter if they're isolating at home too.

I'm sorry your DD has to watch other kids outside playing together. That must be hard for her.

[nicolewi]

We are not, and I believe kids should not be playing together, but I can see how totally hard this would be. We don't have any kids right by us so it's not hard for me to enforce. When I was little, we played with neighbors ALL the time. If this happened back then, I know it would have been really hard for us as kids if the other families were playing together. Too bad everyone isn't following the rules!!

[pugz]

No, but some of our neighbors are and it's annoying. When my daughter asks I just say "some people make bad choices."

[brooklyn]

Absolutely not. I’m in the center of Manhattan surrounded by the sound of sirens, right by a new mobile morgue. Not risking my family getting added to that pile.

[bcv513]

Nope. My kid plays in the yard with us. Although yesterday she was the teacher giving a lessons to the dogs next door through the fence lol

[imojoebunny]

Nope. Here, you would be shamed by your neighbors for letting your kids play with others. No one has even asked for any sort of playdate, except on zoom or facetime or whatever.

[farfalla2011]

So, our county doesn't have a ton of cases (thankfully), our daycares are mostly still open and while not on a strict stay at home order we are highly encouraged to reduce extra outings as much as possible. I'm actually a bit more breezy about things, especially since we're not in the actual city, but I don't think you're being over protective. I'm in the camp of your neighbors are being stupid. Now, we have talked with our neighbors more in the last several weeks than we have since we moved in, but all while keeping in our own yards and distance. But, L is only 6.5 months, so we don't have the playing issue thankfully.

[expectantsteelerfan]

We're not, and I'm so glad the kids in our neighborhood aren't either because that would make it so much harder. My kids have several friends in the neighborhood that they normally play with (luckily not right next door though), and we will see them out walking with their own families, and they will stop on the other side of the road and say hi and chat for a minute if we are out, but that is it.

We considered still getting together with my bff and her family. We both agreed that we would be the only contact we had, and we'd only see if other if all members of the families were completely healthy, and we've all had colds or stomach issues since this started, and now that the guidelines have gotten even stricter I don't think we will be seeing them after all.

[abs]

Nope. For once I’m glad our neighbors all are either retired or have babies. Makes it easier.

DD has no Kids Messenger limits right now. That helps her.

[Mrs.flang]

No way. I mean, my kids are still too young to have neighborhood friends, but that is totally against the point of shelter in place. We are in the hardest hit county in northern NJ so I am scared to even go to the grocery store. We haven't seen any family either.

I've been pretty honest with DD1 (3.5) that the reason school and the playground has been closed is that a lot of people are getting sick. I can imagine its hard, but especially seeing how they don't seem to be taking it seriously, I'd try to shut down any contact at all.

[redpenmama]

No. We live on a very social street with 30+ kids. I'd say a third of our street is still allowing kids to play. Those of us who are truly social distancing keep texting each other about the block parties that we see going on every weekend. It's infuriating. A couple of families are having playdates inside and outside and openly stated that they are fine with it, so I am done with them moving forward.

As for us, it sucks for my kids when they look out the window and see their friends playing, but I have stressed to them the importance of what we are doing and they older two seem to get it. We play in our fenced backyard a lot and go on walks. We will say hi to people from a distance when walking. If we are in our front yard, it doesn't last long b/c someone ends up walking/riding by and getting too close.

You are doing the right thing, and your neighbors are idiots like mine.

[scm1011]

Absolutely not, and I'm kind of horrified at your neighbors. Do people not understand the severity of this situation?!

Although we had an accidental social distancing fail Monday. DS's friend who lives a few blocks away came over and wrote a message on our sidewalk with chalk (we were out). DS and I walked over Monday to return the favor and they were on their front porch. Moments after we got there the kids saw a rabbit on the sidewalk and went running after it together holding hands (they're 3). Me and the other mom ran after them, separated them, and carried our screaming crying kids away from each other but it was such a big sad fail.

[krystee]

Nope. Our kids say hi to the neighbor kids from our porch/their porch (about 20 feet away) or our back decks (even further away), but no closer interaction. It’s hard as the weather gets nice, but we’ll do what we have to do.

[loira]

Definitely not. We just moved and haven't even met our neighbours because we are staying home.

[pierogigirl]

No. Ours shout to each other from across the street or next door.

[noodleoo]

Apr 8, 2020 13:07:26 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Absolutely not, and I'm kind of horrified at your neighbors. Do people not understand the severity of this situation?!

No they obviously do not.  One family had an "outside bday party" for their daughter recently and invited both sets of grandparents.  They kept it outside only, but they shared food.  The other family was there and her friends did a car parade by her house (good idea) but handed her their signs and presents (WTF!?!).

You guys are making me feel better but I don't know how we are going to survive this. I'm seriously hoping it rains all spring because I can't take my daughter begging me to play with them EVERY DAY, ALL DAY.  I'm really wishing we had fences right now.

The saddest part?  Both moms are teachers.  

[boiler717]

No. Everyone else in my neighborhood seems to be playing together, though. There are 5 parents working in hospitals out there with their kids and everyone else’s.