Covid seems to be dividing us

[memenee]

Wondering if anyone else is feeling this or experiencing this.

We are in a hard hit state. (NJ) Our numbers are finally starting to look good and the state is slowly starting to re-open. (Outdoor dining, hair salons, pools and the like will be open soon with restrictions). However, the governor keeps reiterating that the VIRUS IS STILL HERE. That part hasn’t changed. Yet.....a lot of people are treating it like business as usual. Not sure if this is quarantine fatigue, the weather is now nice or what, but it’s happening.

And my family feels left out.

Kids are out playing, families are getting together and we are one of the families still taking this seriously. So it’s starting to get very hard. It was much easier when the state was in the thick of it and EVERYONE was staying in. Based on how other states are seeing numbers rise I just don’t feel comfortable being lax right now. Can anyone commiserate?

Or is it just me? (If so that’s fine, was just curious)

[nospaekae]

I'm of the thought that this virus is probably never going to go away or at least for a very long time and I don't think it is realistic for everyone to hole up at home until it is gone or until we have a vaccine. Nor do I think that is good for anyone's mental health. That said, I do side-eye those getting together in large groups, not wearing masks, etc. but getting together with a small group of family or friends where everyone is relatively aware I think we're getting to a point where that is OK. I do think that some point we need to weigh the risks of the virus vs. the risks on mental and emotional health.

[VillainV]

There have been a lot of posts about this recently, and I think many of us are feeling similar things.

I’m in a very red part of Florida where COVID has become politicized — many refuse to wear masks and demand that businesses, beaches, camps, and schools be allowed to open, and the state and local governments have been obliging. Meanwhile in my county, we have had a 10% increase in cases over the last week and over 30% increase in the last two weeks.

Fortunately my workplace still takes the virus seriously, and our very small social circle (we’re introverts!) also continues to take precautions.

It’s very frustrating. We are faced with some big decisions about potentially pulling our son out of school if they reopen at full-strength in the fall as our governor has ordered.

Really, we are focusing on our own actions, and trying not to get too angry about what everyone else is doing.

[gummybear]

I agree with the sentiment you need to just focus on what you've determined your comfort level to be and let the rest go. It doesn't do any good to harbor anger or resentment for the way that others are choosing to handle this. There are so many moving parts and information is changing so rapidly, all we can do is decide what is best for our families personally and go from there.

We were extremely strict in the beginning and I was very angry about how some of my neighbors were handling this (I think I even posted about it here). I really had to reframe everything because it was affecting me mentally. We have def. loosened things up - all within recommendations - but I am currently in the mindset that we need to learn to live with this new normal. It's going to be a long time before a vaccine is here, and we (esp. our kids) need to be able to exist in a world where they understand hygiene and distancing all while doing normal, everyday things.

[readyin07]

I posted something pretty identical when Florida first opened up. And I still continue to feel that way, wishing that our leadership had kept things closed to make decisions easier. At first we stayed very distant minus starting to see my parents when our sip was lifted. Slowly we have added things that we feel safe about. Basically letting our older kids play outside with our two immediate neighbors and going out to the beach and out in the boat. Thursday I went to my first nonessential store - 5 Below to get a few inexpensive activities for my kids. I was in and out in 8 minutes: I posted yesterday about my mixed feelings of wanting to get my haircut for the first time.

This virus is dangerous and scary. There are many things that won’t resume business as usual for us for a very very long time. I won’t go anywhere indoor for any length of time (the gym for instance). It’s also possible that we won’t get a good vaccine in October or the virus would mutate and this could go on and on. So I am starting to be of the mind that we have to each come up with our own risk - reward scenarios. I am trying to be less judgmental when people are adhering to what’s allowed by law - small gatherings, proper hygiene followed , etc.even if it’s not something I personally feel comfortable with. I tend to judge much worse people who are flagrantly disobeying those orders and being mask deniers and having a huge toga 40th birthday like I saw on my feed last week because they are the reasons we can’t have nice things.

[Leeham Rimes]

My area of Florida, which is blue FFS, seems to think it’s a hurricane that has passed. I just came back from getting bagels. I was the only one in a mask (other than employees) we have rising numbers and our local hospitals have 15% bed availability, which doesn’t sound awesome, and people still don’t give a shit. I just don’t get it. Like, wearing a mask is the absolute least you can do.

I know everyone has to assess their own risk taking and all, but not even trying to be as safe as possible when taking risks absolutely blows my Mind.

I have a lot of mom guilt about not letting the kids go back to indoor soccer but they are taking no safety precautions since it’s not “mandated by the governor“ 🙄 . The thought of having kids sweating, huffing, and puffing all over each other sounds like the absolute worst idea. Especially since florida has seen cases of the multi system inflammatory syndrome which is super scary for me.

I try not to worry about other people bc I cannot control them but those people are why our numbers are rising and it’s just frustrating. I do understand living a new normal but that’s not what Floridians are doing. They’re going back to pre-pandemic life while the pandemic is still here.

www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/06/11/port-orange-business-owner-faces-backlash-for-requiring-shoppers-to-wear-masks-use-sanitizer/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=snd&utm_content=wkmg6

[notoriousmeg]

We are in NJ as well and feel similarly. We finally broke down and saw one set of friends last weekend socially distancing. We are taking it seriously but my mental health in particular is not great. Work is cray for me, and I sit at my computer on a table in my bedroom From 8:30 in the morning to somewhere between 8pm and midnight. We live in an apartment, and there are weeks I don’t go outside Monday-Friday. It’s not a healthy way to live.

DS also needs to see other kids. We stayed home for over 3 months before he interacted with another child not on zoom.

But, we are still being careful. My parents are driving up to NJ from Fla next week and I don’t know how/if we will interact with them. They have been going out to dinner, hanging out with friends, etc. I love and miss them, but I don’t know that I am willing to take that risk yet.

[Leeham Rimes]

Also, we are doing some more things. We go to the pool as long as it’s not crowded and we can maintain 6 feet of distance.

We have one family we have done an outside, socially distanced, play date with. I’m hesitant to add in families that are non mask wearers, which many are.

I’m contemplating getting my hair done with a woman taking all the precautions and only sees one client at a time.

So I’m not all “you have to stay home forever”, I just wish people were trying to be safe when doing things and that’s not what I’m seeing. They’re tired and bored of coronavirus and that’s going to mean a lot of damage to everyone. But again, worrying about everyone else is fruitless bc you can’t change their actions.

[memenee]

Thank you to everyone who has shared their thoughts and experiences. I appreciate hearing others views to help put mine in perspective. And I agree with nospaekae that we must learn to live with this “new normal” but I so wish people were doing it the way it is supposed to be done. Get out, enjoy yourself but please maintain a safe distance, wear a mask and limit the number of people in your group.

We’ve been invited to a neighborhood BBQ and a 40th bday party in someone’s backyard with a lengthy guest list. We’ve been invited to swim in the neighbors pool with a bunch of others from our street and to a backyard play date to get the neighborhood kids together. We declined all of these but everyone else is “over the coronavirus” and is going. I worry most for my kids who are missing out socially.

I’m also aware that this is our choice. I’m very grateful that we have our health, our jobs and food on our plates. I don’t want to minimize anything that anyone is going thru with Covid that is far more serious than missing out socially and being bothered that people are not following the rules.

[jlt19]

I'll admit I've really lax in the last two weeks. I still wear masks in stores and still have only gone to either HD or a grocery store. But my kids started at their school's summer camp on June 1. They each are in a class of 10 with one or two teachers and that's all they interact with all day. The teachers all wear masks, but not the kids. So, now I"m kind of like, well, I have no clue what those families are doing, so there goes everything we've been doing. I live outside of St. Louis and while the numbers are not good, there was no overwhelming of the hospitals at least. And now baseball starts this week (with distancing rules). I don't know. I've let the kids hang out with some of the kids that are in their groups (I think most of the parents feel the same-now that you're together every day, playdates with those kids are fine). We've also had two other families over to swim/bbq. We love hosting (usually do it every weekend) so it's been good for our mental health too.

We could be doing worse and we could be doing better. But this is the balance we've decided on for our family, and I think everyone needs to do the same, as long as you're aware and comfortable with the risks you are taking.

[gummybear]

Jun 13, 2020 7:55:57 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

So I’m not all “you have to stay home forever”, I just wish people were trying to be safe when doing things and that’s not what I’m seeing. They’re tired and bored of coronavirus and that’s going to mean a lot of damage to everyone. But again, worrying about everyone else is fruitless bc you can’t change their actions.

This! The way I feel is based more on my experience with therapy as a person with anxiety. You can only focus on what you can control. It can be maddening but the hard truth is it's the only way to get through this.

Just yesterday we buried H's uncle who died from complications of COVID. He was extremely ill (in hospice) but eventually tested negative, but passed two weeks later from kidney failure because of the damage that occurred while he was fighting the virus. Now that we are yellow they could have Mass. So we went to church. Without making this post too lengthy, I'll just say it was not my first choice of places to be, risk-wise. All within the rules, but it was extremely frustrating to see what was, in my opinion, a bit of a reckless situation. Esp. considering all the senior citizens there AND the fact that the man died bc of the virus. But we went, and skipped Communion, the burial, and luncheon after. We were the only ones that skipped those parts, and even though others said they admired us for going against the group, most went along just because everyone else was doing it and out of a sense of obligation. My point is, this is messy. I think most people are really just trying to figure things out.

[eddy]

Iowa has been open since May so we have had time to deal with our new normal. We also have been making efforts to find ways to navigate this world safely because we are going to be doing this for quite a while.

-I let my oldest hang out with a friend outside
-We have expanded our pod to included two other friend groups. We all are handling this similarly so we feel safe hanging out together. Our kids can play freely with each other.
-We pretty much do anything outside without much restrictions. I mean I am not going to go somewhere crowded, but we go on walks, bike rides, hikes, playing around in our creek almost daily.
-I still wear a mask in public at all times and so does my family. But we don't wear masks in any of the things I listed above.

I might be relying pretty heavily on the fact that we can do these things more safely outside within reason. But that has brought me a TON of relief.

[Mrs.flang]

I’m in NJ too. I think it’s so hard because limits were raised on outdoor gatherings which sort of feels like it gives a green light to some social gatherings, so people are taking it as if it’s “safe” when it’s obviously not. The alternative is to stay isolated indefinitely, which is not feasible either. The governor can’t really come out and say, ok now it’s fine to hug your grandparents, because it won’t be 100% safe, so people are basing decisions off of the opening of summer camps, pools, etc.

I think we’ve been pretty conservative compared to some others we know. We’ve seen only one side of our family, once, and outside. And the riskiest thing we’ve done was go to the beach yesterday. My kids are starting daycare so our exposure is going way up and I’m just trying to take each decision at a time.

[ECB]

I think the thing that makes me the most frustrated is people who won't wear a mask. And then the people/businesses who won't enforce it. Just wear your damn mask and make an effort to keep everyone healthy. While it's not perfect, it DOES help with the spread of this virus. It makes me so angry how politicized this has become and how our lack of leadership is only making this worse.

[gummybear]

Jun 13, 2020 8:44:20 GMT -5 ECB said:

I think the thing that makes me the most frustrated is people who won't wear a mask. And then the people/businesses who won't enforce it. Just wear your damn mask and make an effort to keep everyone healthy. While it's not perfect, it DOES help with the spread of this virus. It makes me so angry how politicized this has become and how our lack of leadership is only making this worse.

So, I started back at my retail job last week. As an employee I am required to wear a mask. BUT we are not "requiring" patrons to wear one. We have slightly ambiguous signage asking people to follow the lead of the employees and wear one, but the word "required" is not on there and it is in fact optional. I live in a hard-hit county in SE PA so people just assume you need to wear one, and I have not had one single customer not wear one but if someone came in without one, I wouldn't ask them to put one on.

The reasoning behind this is we are trying to avoid a confrontational situation and keep employees safe from any sort of retaliation. My store brand is part of a large nationwide corporation and I think this policy is across the board. It's funny because we literally sell masks online. 

[joy]

Jun 13, 2020 8:52:53 GMT -5 gummybear said:

Jun 13, 2020 8:44:20 GMT -5 ECB said:

I think the thing that makes me the most frustrated is people who won't wear a mask. And then the people/businesses who won't enforce it. Just wear your damn mask and make an effort to keep everyone healthy. While it's not perfect, it DOES help with the spread of this virus. It makes me so angry how politicized this has become and how our lack of leadership is only making this worse.

So, I started back at my retail job last week. As an employee I am required to wear a mask. BUT we are not "requiring" patrons to wear one. We have slightly ambiguous signage asking people to follow the lead of the employees and wear one, but the word "required" is not on there and it is in fact optional. I live in a hard-hit county in SE PA so people just assume you need to wear one, and I have not had one single customer not wear one but if someone came in without one, I wouldn't ask them to put one on.

The reasoning behind this is we are trying to avoid a confrontational situation and keep employees safe from any sort of retaliation. My store brand is part of a large nationwide corporation and I think this policy is across the board. It's funny because we literally sell masks online. 

This is interesting. I’m in Philly and masks are required in businesses. Signage says it explicitly. Maybe it’s just my neighborhood?

[mrspez07]

I remind myself that the original goal was to flatten the curve, and we did that. This virus isn’t going away and each family needs to find the balance that works for them socially, emotionally, physically.

[jinkies]

I'm also in the Philly burbs, and I thought masks were required. I haven't been many places, but there are usually signs that say something like "to comply with state guidelines, masks are required in this store.'

Having said that, I completely understand retail stores telling employees not to fight with customers who don't wear one. First, because they don't want to put employees in any kind of danger. Second, because it could be a PR nightmare. An autistic child was recently kicked out of a fast food place (Wendy's maybe?) because he wouldn't keep his mask on, and there has been an uproar on social media.

[gummybear]

Jun 13, 2020 8:58:35 GMT -5 joy said:

Jun 13, 2020 8:52:53 GMT -5 gummybear said:

So, I started back at my retail job last week. As an employee I am required to wear a mask. BUT we are not "requiring" patrons to wear one. We have slightly ambiguous signage asking people to follow the lead of the employees and wear one, but the word "required" is not on there and it is in fact optional. I live in a hard-hit county in SE PA so people just assume you need to wear one, and I have not had one single customer not wear one but if someone came in without one, I wouldn't ask them to put one on.

The reasoning behind this is we are trying to avoid a confrontational situation and keep employees safe from any sort of retaliation. My store brand is part of a large nationwide corporation and I think this policy is across the board. It's funny because we literally sell masks online. 

This is interesting. I’m in Philly and masks are required in businesses. Signage says it explicitly. Maybe it’s just my neighborhood?

I think, per the governor, it's required, but the corporate policy is in place to avoid a situation where someone took a political stand and us employees would be put in a precarious situation. Probably more applicable in states where mask usage isn't as widespread. I guess in the case of SE PA, it's more about me and my coworkers not having to shoulder the responsibility of confronting someone and risking our safety - the liability is off the company should we choose not to. They don'y want us to have that obligation. 

[ECB]

Jun 13, 2020 9:00:08 GMT -5 mrspez07 said:

I remind myself that the original goal was to flatten the curve, and we did that. This virus isn’t going away and each family needs to find the balance that works for them socially, emotionally, physically.

That's the thing - we did what we wanted to do.  My concern, though, is if we just throw caution to the wind and stop taking precautions, the curve will rise again.  

However, at the same time, the medical community is learning more about the virus and how to treat it.  

[Bad Dingo]

Jun 13, 2020 7:03:28 GMT -5 memenee said:

Can anyone commiserate?

Or is it just me? (If so that’s fine, was just curious)

It's not just you. I think we (gbcn & people I know IRL) are at the phase of 'real social distancing sucks so I'm going to pretend things are fine now'.

I am having a hard time not being angry with people but I know that's my issue and I need to just control what I can in my own life.

[Leeham Rimes]

Jun 13, 2020 9:00:08 GMT -5 mrspez07 said:

I remind myself that the original goal was to flatten the curve, and we did that. This virus isn’t going away and each family needs to find the balance that works for them socially, emotionally, physically.

True, but as we’re seeing in Florida it’s not an end stop thing. Our rates are rising quite a bit. IMO, it’s like “dieting” yeah, you can diet for a set time but if you go back to your pre-diet habits, you’ll gain everything back. If you want to make a real change, you need to change habits long term for long term success. I wish people understood that in relation to Covid. There’s a medium between staying home 24/7 and living like there’s no Covid, but many don’t want to strike that medium (at least from what I see in person, on Nextdoor, etc)

And while I also agree you can’t control other people and getting mad is not beneficial, ignoring danger is leading to not only death but permanent harm from Covid infection so I totally get that it’s hard to remain “not my circus...”

It’s just shitty all around and add that shitty leadership on a national level, blarg.

[lexus]

We are trying to figure out where we feel comfortable. I’m a teacher and volunteered to work all the end of the year stuff- textbook return, yearbook distribution, drive thru graduation. Everyone wore masks and if you were getting things from or giving them to students you wore gloves. DS started back at preschool this week and DD starts day camp next week. They haven’t been in a store since March but we have gone to my parents house and hung out in the backyard and DD just went to her GS leader’s house and helped assemble packets for a virtual event. She wore a mask when inside their house but not in their pool. The kids haven’t been in a restaurant yet but I have several times with coworkers. We plan to do our normal summer activities (beach, zoo, etc) but with a mask. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We aren’t having a huge party for their birthdays but we are renting an inflatable water slide for them and my nephew to play on at my parents. None of us are high risk, so we have some wiggle room to make decisions.

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 13, 2020 9:05:12 GMT -5 ECB said:

Jun 13, 2020 9:00:08 GMT -5 mrspez07 said:

I remind myself that the original goal was to flatten the curve, and we did that. This virus isn’t going away and each family needs to find the balance that works for them socially, emotionally, physically.

That's the thing - we did what we wanted to do.  My concern, though, is if we just throw caution to the wind and stop taking precautions, the curve will rise again.  

However, at the same time, the medical community is learning more about the virus and how to treat it.  

Yeah it’ll undo any flattening that has happened, more people are going to die. Just like most things with a lot of these people, it’s not directly affecting them so they KOKO.

[sandandsea]

We’ve opened our circle up to 2 other families that are also taking it seriously. One came over for a play date and wore a mask, played outside, etc. and the other was an emergency situation which took priority over Covid.

[nicolewi]

Yes, I posted something about this recently, too.

I think we need strong national leadership encouraging mask wearing. Like PSAs and stuff. Instead of just "you might want to wear a mask." I think it would really help with safety and the rate of infection.

I have been wearing mine around here for the few errands we do. When we went to our cottage this weekend, I planned to be extra diligent to protect that community. At the gas station on the way up, people looked at me like I was an alien b/c I was wearing a mask. One guy visibly recoiled and went the other way like he assumed I must be infected if I was wearing one. It was...weird.

[Leeham Rimes]

Jun 13, 2020 9:29:43 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

Yes, I posted something about this recently, too.

I think we need strong national leadership encouraging mask wearing. Like PSAs and stuff. Instead of just "you might want to wear a mask." I think it would really help with safety and the rate of infection.

I have been wearing mine around here for the few errands we do. When we went to our cottage this weekend, I planned to be extra diligent to protect that community. At the gas station on the way up, people looked at me like I was an alien b/c I was wearing a mask. One guy visibly recoiled and went the other way like he assumed I must be infected if I was wearing one. It was...weird.

I’ve had people (usually elderly white men) give me the stink eye when I’m in my mask. And as a matter of fact at the bagel place today, I swear two police officers pointed at me and scoffed. I was the only one in line so I don’t really know what else they could’ve been pointing at.

[gummybear]

The non-compliance is totally baffling to me. I have to say, I am extremely impressed with my region's acceptance. I even went to Tractor Supply (totally stereotyping here) which is way out in the far end of the county that edges us slightly red for certain elections and every single person had a mask on. I have not seen one person anywhere not wearing one. And we are solidly a 50/50 area politically.

[circa1978]

I feel you. DH and DS tried yesterday to go kayaking on a local lake. The park was so packed there wasn't any place to park and DH said not a single person was masked. They tried to go back first thing this morning to get more social distance - same thing at 7 a.m. They turned around and left both times rather than risk it. I was really proud of both of them for making good decisions. It would have been fine once they were on the lake but DH said it was impossible to stay away from people on the way there and the walking path next to the put in was mobbed. He only has one kidney after cancer so we're trying to be careful. It really is such a bummer. If people would just wear masks, I'd feel much better.

[sewf]

Jun 13, 2020 8:52:53 GMT -5 gummybear said:

Jun 13, 2020 8:44:20 GMT -5 ECB said:

I think the thing that makes me the most frustrated is people who won't wear a mask. And then the people/businesses who won't enforce it. Just wear your damn mask and make an effort to keep everyone healthy. While it's not perfect, it DOES help with the spread of this virus. It makes me so angry how politicized this has become and how our lack of leadership is only making this worse.

So, I started back at my retail job last week. As an employee I am required to wear a mask. BUT we are not "requiring" patrons to wear one. We have slightly ambiguous signage asking people to follow the lead of the employees and wear one, but the word "required" is not on there and it is in fact optional. I live in a hard-hit county in SE PA so people just assume you need to wear one, and I have not had one single customer not wear one but if someone came in without one, I wouldn't ask them to put one on.

The reasoning behind this is we are trying to avoid a confrontational situation and keep employees safe from any sort of retaliation. My store brand is part of a large nationwide corporation and I think this policy is across the board. It's funny because we literally sell masks online. 

I’m in retail, too, and my company is taking the same stance. We even offer disposable masks to people as they walk in the store, but if we get push back from the customer, we tell them it is “requested, but not required”. I wish it was required, but I think they are trying to keep us from having any physical altercations, which I also appreciate. 

I have had people ask me when the store would be back to “normal” (meaning all the displays back out, the clearance sections full, not having a capacity limit), and I tell them when we actually have a full staff instead of seven employees at my store, and the CEO says she feels it’s safe. Don’t complain to me because you can’t get $2 clearance dvds while you also refuse to wear a mask for my safety and I am doing the job of four people when all I really want to do is stay home with my kids and keep us all safe!