We had a kindergarten substitute who made me and another kid stand facing the school building-- I'm talking nose to brick-- during recess one day because we didn't turn in some paper. I had just turned 5.
In second grade our teacher used the Tooth Fairy as an example of a myth. It didn't take me long to connect the dots from there to Santa, Easter Bunny etc. My mom was PISSED!
Post by pandorica on Sept 12, 2020 13:07:51 GMT -5
I'm a grudge holder, so... My (former) BFF told me the night before I got married she wasn't coming (and only because I texted her to ask when she'd get there). She was the only one invited and was supposed to be the witness.
My 5th grade teacher made me miss the bus and blamed me. She thought we were being too loud and made everyone sit quietly at their desk during bus announcements, and then straight up lied to the principal/my mom when I didn't make the bus in time.
Most notably my high school friend (25 years of friendship) who didn't come to my mother's funeral because it was hard for work. It was at lunch time. I had been to her mother's and grandmother's.
Also H's BFF of 10+ years who completely ghosted him when he asked for some moral support when we were going through miscarriages and he had just had a kid.
There are more but these are the ones I would not spit on if they burned.
A former boss, who threw me under the bus and gave me a bad review because he didn't like me, said a year later at a happy hour (for a team he wasn't part of) that he'd "give me a great review" if I would put him on a distribution list I managed that let the members get free stuff.
Asshole wasn't even part of my management chain anymore, and the only reason why he didn't succeed in forcing me out of the company was because I could see the writing on the wall for a re-org and I waited him out. He did not get on the DL.
Post by goldengirlz on Sept 12, 2020 13:38:59 GMT -5
I’ll join the Bad Bosses Club.
Early in my career, I worked for a startup where my boss was the 20-something daughter of one of our largest investors. She was untouchable and generally seemed amused that the rest of us were working for her because we needed the money to, you know, live.
There were many horrible stories but I’ll share this one because it’s the pettiest. My boss only liked one person on the team, and for this girl’s birthday, she made all of us chip in $20 to buy this girl a video game. (Other girl was also pretty horrible — classic evil sidekick who loved to tattle on people.) Boss never did anything nice for anyone else.
I also hold a grudge against my noisy neighbors and their shitty band practice, and my H who can never hear them even though they bother this every loving hell out of me at least once a month. Like right now for example. I have my white noise machine on and I can hear them over that, but my H will bitch if I turn the machine up louder because he can't hear them (I think he should probably get his ears checked, OMG!).
My grandmother, who talked shit about my mom when my parents were going through a divorce (I was 7) and never once apologized. I’ve held that grudge for 25 years and will until the day she dies. We’ve had the most superficial of superficial relationships since that point.
One of my first bosses out of college (actually the boss of my boss) who told me when I inquired about filling a recently vacated position that he needed someone with a “strong and commanding presence,” and then went on to name an idiotic male server who had no business in management. I did end up getting that job and kicked ass, but only because my actual boss went to bat for me. Fucking sexist pig. I will never forget those exact words he said.
My dad for telling me 2 weeks before Christmas that Santa doesn’t exist because I was too old to believe (I was 8).
My ILs who told H and I they were going to contribute X amount to our wedding, gave us an inflated guest list from their side and then neglected to tell us until after the invites went out that they didn’t have the money to give us.
Also my in-laws for spending years with H and I on Christmas Eve and then backing out on the invite a couple years ago because H’s sister invited them to spend it with her instead
Myself for leaving a job a loved so so much due to a 3 hr round trip commute. Thought it was the right thing but it’s been like 18 months and I still regret it and wish I had never left.
My sil for making it her mission to get between my brother and me. I know he’s partially to blame for listening to her but I don’t totally fault someone for believing their wife ya know? Like i would want dh to believe me. But anyway.
I try to let go of grudges as often as possible, but there are 2 grudges that keep coming back and they are against my 2 sisters. Too much detail to go into, but yeah...just when I think I've let go of a grudge, one of them does something dumb, and I'm pulled back into the dungeon of resentment with those two.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by CurlyQ284 on Sept 12, 2020 13:58:03 GMT -5
My stbxSIL. She is absolutely awful, if I listed them all it would be like a parchment that just unrolls for like 30 feet but around the time she and bro were getting married she said something like "its not fair that you got all of your Nana's jewelry". She passed before bro even met her, in fact his previous girlfriend went to the funeral with us. I just smiled and said "oh thats not true [cousin] has some of it too." And left the room. My mom hates her too, really everyone does, and she hasn't given bro any of nanas things but after the divorce is final maybe he can be trusted lol. I'm a little sad that she won't be around when I get "the big ring", I was really looking forward to wearing that in front of her.
The nurse at the OBs office who commented on my weight gain saying "you can't just eat ice cream all day and be surprised". I had not been eating ice cream all day hag, and 20 minutes later the doc told me I had gestational diabetes.
My H's half sister. She RSVPd for her entire family, plus some random kid that was like her brothers kid on her moms side or something? So 5 people. RSVPd yes a week before the wedding. The day before she calls FIL and says she isn't coming because she is broke. He offers to pay for all of them, she declines and just doesn't come so I was out all that money for 5 no shows. About a week later she was calling people begging for money and they suggested she sell her horses but she refused. She has generally been a trash person and is always irresponsible and trying to get money from people. H has never liked her and does not keep in touch. Last I heard she went to that big Trump rally in Oklahoma that was on the news.
My step grandma who was emotionally abusive to my dad after his mom passed away when he was 14. My dad is kind of horrible and this probably had something to do with it. For some reason she decided that was my moms fault after they were married and at one point got drunk and called my mom a whore. The whole thing is absurd, my mother is a legit saint. After grandpa passed away she accused my parents of stealing things from a deposit box. I never saw her again, did not attend her funeral despite one of her "real" grandkids insisting we be there because "she loved us all". He had lunch with my bro shortly before she died and showed up with stepgrandma in tow, and she went on to insult my mother through this lunch so....no thanks. Bye Edith.
Post by pinkballoons on Sept 12, 2020 14:07:03 GMT -5
The vendor who asked me how old I was while in a meeting with my boss. I was quite young—just out of undergrad—and had worked hard to be exceptionally professional to avoid any concern about my age.
My former FIL (and backyard breeder) who referred to my beloved mutt as a “junk dog” because he is not purebred.
Post by jackie011 on Sept 12, 2020 14:11:06 GMT -5
I keep typing little things out and rethinking them. Anyway... I guess one thing I hold on to is DH’s aunts and the fact that they send us the most overtly religious, not at all inclusive, Christmas cards. I’m Jewish, we’re raising DS Jewish and DH is agnostic. These aren’t family photo cards or anything they buy in bulk, they’re cards they individually purchase. His other aunt always sends a Hanukkah card and it means SO much that she took the time to cross the aisle and look in the other section for us. I’m not even asking for them to send a Hanukkah-specific card, just not the most religious card Hallmark sells!
ETA: OH! I thought of another one! One professor told us the first week of the semester that regardless of your grade, you must take the final or you’ll automatically fail his class. Of course, his class was scheduled on the very last final exam slot, 3:00 on a Saturday. So, I was the last of my friends still on campus, it was snowing, I was lonely, and for some reason none of my family would answer my calls as I sat alone waiting for this dumb final that was not going to change my grade. This was late 90s, so the internet distractions of today weren’t a thing. Took the final in like 20 minutes, finally reached my mom to tell her I was coming home and she was very tight lipped. Drive the 2 hours home, in the snow, only to find out my grandma had passed that morning and no one told me because they didn’t want to distract me from the final. I hold the whole thing against this professor...who turned out to be DH’s thesis advisor a few years later and was invited to our wedding.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Sept 12, 2020 14:14:01 GMT -5
Ooooh. I think I’ve shared this one before. We had a “What I want to be” type day in 6th grade and I said I wanted to be a scientist. My teacher, Ms Bernes at the Montclair School in Quincy, Ma (because I am serious when I say I want to find her and ask her wtf was wrong with her) said girls can’t be scientists so she put me down for stewardess because that starts with “S” too.
My first grade teacher for repeatedly throwing me out of the classroom and making me sit in the hall alone because she said I talked too much. She also told my parents I wasn't as smart as they thought I was.
My friend who, while waitressing, told my truly evil ex who was seated in her section that she didn't hold grudges and was super sweet to him so he'd give her a good tip...and then came and told me about it all proud of herself.
This jerk 3 year old in the same daycare who used to hit my daughter any chance he got. They took care of it, but that kid is still the worst forever.
Jared, who asked me to homecoming our sophomore year "if this other girl I already asked says no."
My contracts professor for telling me I was wrong about the difference between specific performance and substitute performance AND I WAS NOT.
And a partner (2 years out from retirement) who wouldn't split credit with me on a matter "because I have 3 mortgages" when I was doing all the work on the case and had originated the specific matter. Some org recently gave her a mentorship award. I literally laughed when I heard.
My grade 5 teacher, who gave me a very average mark on the visual component of my book report. It was on "The Incredible Journey", and I'd sculpted each animal out of Fimo to look exactly like their character descriptions. I don't think she was familiar with the book, or how much skill was involved in sculpting the dogs and cat, and instead she criticized the fact that I just put them in a shoebox where I'd glued pictures of trees to show their journey.
The agency I worked for in London. They gave me no bereavement leave when I lost our first DD, then made me redundant less than a month after I came back from taking time off.
Post by mirabelle on Sept 12, 2020 16:11:35 GMT -5
My mom for berating me about my poor grades in math and asking me if I needed a tutor and when I said yes, never got me a tutor.
My neighborhood friend who I biked with to school for years told me one day she is embarrassed to be seen with me so I can’t bike with her to school anymore.
My mom for taking away my high heels that I liked to wear to high school. I was very petite and it gave me a lot of confidence.
My grandparents for harping on everyone’s weight, knowing they must say the same things about me when I’m not there.
My mom for making a hurtful comment in front of my bridal party on my wedding day.
Any adult family member who made a big deal about finishing all the food on my plate.
All the times I was shamed into an office potluck even though I hate them and don’t want to eat food prepared by my coworkers.
Post by sadlebred on Sept 12, 2020 16:22:21 GMT -5
My mother who to this day tells me I'd "be so much prettier if I lost 10 pounds." I'm the best athlete in the entire extended family and have a dozen+ national championship cycling medals. Her reaction "oh, that's nice." Oh yes, mom, I have a perfectly flat stomach and you never WILL--even though I'm "fat" in your eyes I totally rock a bikini at the pool! HA! #confidentatallsizes Rock what you got! My parents are kept at the end of a 29 and a half foot pole for many reasons.
My ex-H's entire family. The tried to "stage an intervention" because I was obviously "disturbed" over something. (I got mad at DH for driving home blindly drunk--he passed out right inside the front door and was still there the next morning. I think I had that right to get mad. Coming home drunk after being with his GF--yep--GF--was a regular occurrence the last 2 years we were married. I didn't GAF about him, but I was worried he'd cause a car accident and hurt someone else.) This is what you get in a family of psychologists and counselors. Sure, I was the one with the problem.
Anyone that says anything rude about me choosing not to have kids.
Since there are teacher grudges I'll add mine. I had a high school teacher tell me that he would vote me "most likely to get pregnant and married first" DICK
ETA: I went on to get 2 college degrees without a husband/baby/pregnancy in sight.
Post by notsopicky on Sept 12, 2020 16:38:36 GMT -5
My elementary school teachers who always gave me a U (unsatisfactory!) in handwriting. WTF--grades in handwriting? Really?
My H who will always make 3X what I make. LOL. At least he said the other day that I make more of a difference in the world at my job than he does at his.
My boss, who made me wait 3 weeks to have a meeting with him when I first got hired. I was new to the school and new to the job--I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.
My group of post-college friends that were mad at me that I didn't get the fantasy football league up and going soon enough b/c, well, let's see, oh yes, I was recovering from a m/c. We still haven't come back from that.
My brother, b/c he held back a very important piece of information from me about his best friend/my boyfriend. He & I never really came back from that either.
My former in-laws who basically cut off all contact after my husband (their son) died. They were basically a second set of parents to me, and they just completely cut me out of their lives like I never existed.
20 years ago DH put my birthday ice cream cake my parents brought me away in the fridge. I still get salty about it when someone mentions ice cream cake.
My step mom for accusing me of only caring about my dad and not her because I didn’t call frequently enough after she broke her ankle falling down the stairs while holding DS2. A girl in grade school that labeled me “Blubber” since I was an overweight kid and her bitch mom for not saying anything even though she was standing right there.
Post by lilypad1126 on Sept 12, 2020 16:58:27 GMT -5
An old boss who gave me a shit performance review bc she was terrible at her job and blamed all her short comings on me. I mean, she dinged me on attendance (saying I never showed up on time) which is the biggest joke, bc I am never late. Never. I’m still salty about this 8 years later, bc I pride myself on being early to everything.
A different previous boss who fired me and as he was doing said it was clear that I didn’t want to work in this field, that I was not good at it, and that I should change careers. I’ve since moved in to bigger and better things, in that same field, and have given multiple presentations on the exact thing he told me I wasn’t good at. I’ll never forgive him for shaking my confidence though, and being such a jerk to me.
Post by livinitup on Sept 12, 2020 17:17:06 GMT -5
My H’s ex-boss. I did work for his company when I was unemployed In 2008 and we had many conversations about my rate/pay. When the project was over the accountant got weird about cutting my check and said he was waiting in boss‘ approval. When I called boss he straight-up lied to my face and said he’d approve it no problem. Then turned around and wrote an email to my husband and said he would not pay me and that I did not have a contract so I could not make him.
Post by ohgillian on Sept 12, 2020 17:27:18 GMT -5
Oh!! The Professor who was the hardest grader in my major department in college. On a hard assignment that had 4 parts, she gave me a 25 on each part, then erased one of the 25’s and gave me a 24.
My friend throwing me a party for my 30th birthday, on my actual birthday (which was a Saturday). And the adding another guy’s name to the cake, whose birthday was a few days later and was turning some random 20-something. I don’t typically make a deal of my birthday, but dude, it was a milestone!